I don't understand the situation occurring in front of me, my boss is putting his hands together as if he were praying.
Well actually this kind of thing isn't too uncommon because he's a freeloader who pushes all his work to his subordinates.
"Sorry John, but I need you take some overtime today" there he goes again I wonder what it is this time, even so he's asking me to do overtime and the workday isn't over for another two hours.
"haa~, What frivolous act are you committing this time"
"Well buddy unlike you, I have a date today" he's saying that with such a smug face too, We're not friends anymore either though it's more convenient to let him think we are, maybe if he said that in high school I would have reciprocated his comradery, but ever since he became my boss I became painfully aware of how horrible a person he was.
"A date huh, fine go." I only let him go because I don't know how much longer I can tolerate his shamelessness, but to ditch work for a date, well not like I could understand, The one time I had a date was about a year ago, we had initially agreed to meet up around 6:30 to go see a movie and get something to eat, but my damn prick of a boss made me work overtime so he could go drinking.
He stopped me as I was about to leave for the day at 6 and told me he wanted to speak to me, once we got to the meeting room he told me the usual shtick, however I was adamantly refusing it was around 7 when he told me that I could leave and go on the date or get fired, I should have walked out then and there, but past me decided that my job was more important than my social life, so I texted her and that was that, but after work when I got home I turned on the 10 O'clock news and someone had gotten hit by a car and died at around 7 in my city, her name was Elise Holt, she was supposed to be my date and ever since then I've been thinking that perhaps I should have walked out of the office that day.
"Really! Thanks John I owe you one" of course you do you owe me so many 'ones' that it'd be impossible to count all of them in one sitting, well at least now I'll get to enjoy the quiet streets when I go home, I never did like people much, Elise was an exception and I never had a family, though I did have a couple friends but now it's really just me, well not that I mind that much.
Time for work.
It's currently 2am, it took longer than expected to finish all that work I figured I'd be done at 12 perhaps but there was more than I had guessed.
I really do keep the oil burning don't I?
"Yawn~ I'll quit tomorrow...today for sure, all I have to do..."
~Thud~
Ack... what did I get hit by, a man with bloodied hands runs past me... Is that my Boss? I reached back.
Pain, a fiery pain coming from my abdomen finally hits me after I rest my hand on it, warm huh, when I bring my hand back up it's covered in blood, Oh Maxwell you traitor, perhaps you didn't like owing me so much, or perhaps you hated me. not that it matters I'll soon be in the afterlife not much could stop it now. There's one last thought left in my mind as it fades though.
I'm sorry Elise
I'm sorry perhaps I can make it up to you when I see you in the afterlife and or the next.
Black
What is black?
Color...Black
ah that's right a color isn't it.
My memories feel hazy it's almost like static is moving in I still sort of remember who I am... maybe what was my name? hmmm well I don't think it that important perhaps the who was never important to the I.
From what I remember I think I was Male, though that too doesn't matter but I'm not sure what matters at this stage.
perhaps what I like matters, but what do I like?
Pretzels? I'll say I like them even if it's only a faint memory I remember eating them with a girl I had met at a bar, she was blonde though it was a blonde so bright it almost appeared white, she said it was her natural hair but I'm not inclined to believe her, her eyes though were blue pale almost like a piece of the sky. Maybe the important thing wasn't the pretzels? the beer? no couldn't be I don't think I was drinking, the bar? can't be I don't remember why I was there but I feel it was not of my own volition, was it her? I think that could be but I'm not sure do I remember anything about her?
Ah I had asked her out before she left.
What else about her? ah the man that made me go to the bar is in front of me, Horns? he certainly feels like a devil, I feel I hated him, why am I watching him?
ah he's my boss... he's hitting on me? no no can't be He's telling me to work, ah but I have a date today, I have to work though, why what is work? why does it matter perhaps it doesn't I care not for him, but I comply anyways, I'll miss my date though.
Oh I've left work it's dark but not as dark as my here there are glowy poles to light the way, ah the memories gone.
It's back! my house I'm watching something... she died, sorrow perhaps that's what matters to me? no I think it was her that mattered to me, ah I see it now... It's my fault, she died because of me, I'm weak I couldn't save her... ah yes that's what matters it's my fault.
hahahahahaha!
your fault!
it's fault!
yes it's fault!
you killed her!
it's you! you killed her!
you killed her always at the end of your times!
oh the darkness is yelling at me, it screeches as it whispers my sins, loud yet soft it writes my wrongs upon my mind countless time it engraves it upon my soul the blame, and I can only let it until it stops, because in the end it's right it's my sin to carry at the end.
Black
What is this black?
the only answer that comes to mind is
Sin
as I'm swallowed by it
Make this a new novel maybe?
I've been thinking about this for the past while and I think you make a good point, however if I were to write a prequel or even it's own stand alone novel based off the character within this prologue I would probably just be depressed the whole time and that's no fun, I only really started writing because I wanted something to do that I would think was enjoyable. But I concede that would probably make a good story, and I concede that my writing is sub-par but I think practice makes perfect, so perhaps some day I'll make it it's own story.
I kinda talked you're ear off but I really like feedback and this one really made me think about my capabilities and my stories, so please do keep the feedback coming.
I also really liked your novel, I look forward to the next.
@Mossman thanks! No matter what you choose to do I'll continue reading.
This is a much better start. Well done.