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Gaddyboy
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Gaddyboy
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Joined: Jan 21, 2020
Followers: 0
Following: 0
Comments: 133
Cipiteca396 · Feb 7, 2022

Thank you for the review. clear.png

If you have any advice for how I can improve on the problems you've given, I'd love to hear it. If not, I can just show the review to people on the forum(when I get around to editing Vol 1, lol) so no problem. 

Gaddyboy · Feb 8, 2022

Story just needs focus. Words have to have purpose, otherwise it feels like filler. Does a reader really need to know all the dungeon options available, and how the interface works, or can we get by with just knowing what the M.C. chooses for her dungeon. 

I'm not even sure what the genre is supposed to be, and I feel like that should be crystal clear 100k words in.

Cipiteca396 · Feb 8, 2022

Tbh, I initially had no idea which options the MC would choose. The edits should reduce the bloat of extra info.

On that front, you mentioned 'decent ideas that are never executed'. If you give some examples, I might be able to integrate them earlier, or remove them so nobody is misled.

As to the genre, I'm not sure either. One of the primary goals of the story was

Spoiler

exploring the effects of Anxiety, Depression, and Isolation.

[collapse]

There's obviously more, but 500 character limit. 

Gaddyboy · Feb 8, 2022

Yea, 500 sucks. I'm just gonna msg ya

Gaddyboy · Feb 13, 2020

Why is it that I cant use the forum, but I can use my account still? Keeps asking me for a login, but wont accept my scribblehub account login

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