If you have any advice for how I can improve on the problems you've given, I'd love to hear it. If not, I can just show the review to people on the forum(when I get around to editing Vol 1, lol) so no problem.
Story just needs focus. Words have to have purpose, otherwise it feels like filler. Does a reader really need to know all the dungeon options available, and how the interface works, or can we get by with just knowing what the M.C. chooses for her dungeon.
I'm not even sure what the genre is supposed to be, and I feel like that should be crystal clear 100k words in.