He's sympathetic(due to his upbringing that I'll divulge later), like he was with Fate after the torture scene with Agatha. But will do anything he feels like doing unless directly commanded by Agatha not to do so.

I see. Well, what I'm saying is that's a character that's hard to follow and hard to believe due to people in the real world not really being like that. Or rather, the people who are really do not function in normal society and are usually institutionalized. My suggestions would allow for the exact same behaviors while being more believable.

Thanks again for reading, giving critiques, and commenting. Sorry if the story doesn't appeal to you, but I'm not particularly experienced, though I am passionate about what I write.

That's rather common. Carefully considering character motivations and personalities, and whether or not there are real world equivalents to those behaviors, is a little on the advanced side. Your ability to craft a narrative is rather good, you just have to work on developing realistic motivations in the supporting cast a little more.

Well then, all that said, I'm off to read the latest chapter of World Keeper which seems to be the only series I'm following that doesn't have an author with the same life I have.

And I was thinking that at least somebody gotta update soon... When are finals in US ending?

...also, you say World Keeper is good?

Thanks Giving is over at the end of the month. Finals under the quarter system (The US uses both semester and quarter systems depending on the school.)

As for World Keeper, I find it pretty interesting. It's pretty exploratory of new concepts but meanders a bit, kinda like my own series. Definitely has a feel of throwing out a bunch of different ideas and trying to work them into a narrative, and a lot of those ideas are very interesting.

Overall assessment of World Keeper compared to my series, it is the most similar series on the entire site to my own due to the fact that it's just so expiramental and original, but also at the same time very very different from my own series in that it takes both the ideas thrown out and the characterization in a VERY different direction. Objectively, the two couldn't possibly be more different. However, you will get a small bit of a similar feel, like the two series are cousins or something.

Kinda on the abandoned side. I still have plans for it, but I have a lot of trouble right now just finding time for sister of a goddess between work and school. I'm not off it completely, but I don't see it being updated any time in the near future.