· Apr 14, 2022
Hi your work is not so bad, its just hard to read. I would suggest using Grammarly or another spellchecker for the spelling errors.
Formating the text helps the reader's immersion so for dialogues instead of doing:
MC: "text he said"
I suggest doing it like:
"text he said" mc's name said/yelled/whispered etc...
Additionally start using capital letters for names and when you start a sentence.