Hi, author sama can we talk on discord..its urgent, I know it's super strange. but I just need to talk about something with my fellow author..can you spare some time.
Read it, you need to work on your English, read a lot of novels. Due to the English things gets boring to read. Sentence are sometimes incoherent.
Also too much info dump, try to distribute the info little by little in different chapters, otherwise it's tiring to read. Otherwise concept looks good.