The big and little boy duo entered the doors of the local Papa Joe's. It was a Tuesday morning, but there were still a couple customers on their phones, waiting for their pizzas to be made, and an employee sporting a festive Papa Joe hat, slaved away behind the counter.
Lary took a deep sniff, salivating at the familiar, tantalizing aroma. This was the delicacy he’d feasted on yesterday! He must get his hands on more. And soon.
Regina peeked her head out of her office. Her disapproving frown turned into an excited smile as her eyes shifted from her lousy employee to the small pouting child. "Oh what a precious child! Who is he?" She squealed as she rushed over.
Regina was the branch manager, and had been since this Papa Joe location was established twelve years ago. She was 62 this year but had fresh blue tips on her chin length gray hair, and claimed she would only retire when she was "6 ft under" because "young people kept her young". She loved all younguns' and all their unnecessary drama, but she was especially obsessed with babies. Not only was she an "old spinster" with no children, as her parents liked to say when they were alive, but her sister loved to rub in her face that she had six grandchildren. Six! An unreasonably large number in the 21st century.
So of course Regina had no choice but to adopt seven cats!
She loved them all to death, but they had one flaw. They couldn't say "I love you" or "you are my world" like grandchildren theoretically could. So she got her cats a button that loudly declared "I would die for you" but only Captain Meowington ever pressed it -- of course because he meant it from the bottom of his kitty heart and not for extra catnip. And the precious little child in front of her had the same resting bitch face as Captain Meowington which absolutely made her heart melt.
"This is Lary, and..." Andrew stopped short as he realized he couldn't very well say that he had no idea who this kid was but because he was reminded of his own trauma he decided to temporarily take him even though he was grossly underqualified and kids were gross.
He glanced at the many customers sitting around. "... it's a long story."
Regina shot him a suspicious look, but didn't press the issue. Instead her eyes feasted on the delectable little child. "Aww you poor little cutie pie. You're bleeding! Let's get you all cleaned up, yes?"
She was that special voice reserved for only those she adored like cats and children with rbf, which backfired and spooked Lary out. Why was she talking like that? Was a hairball stuck in her throat?
The woman outstretched her arms and his new servant passed him to her without consulting him.
Why?
No!
Lary tried to clutch Andrew's shirt. But his fists were small and the shirt was slimy from his snot so he couldn't get a proper grip. Soulfire! Why did small humans produce so much body fluid? And why were their arms so stubby and useless? He desperately did not want to be held by this human who reeked of cat.
Most creatures marked their territory with the scent of their urine or feces, and the human holding him clearly had owners. It was as if the cats -- he smelled seven -- that laid claim to her were screeching at the world that she belonged to them and only them. Lary wasn't exactly afraid of a couple of cats, but considering their territorial and vicious nature, and how terribly feeble human children were, it was a guaranteed headache if there was any sort of misunderstanding.
"I'm also bleeding by the way, thanks for asking." Andrew pointed to his scraped up knees.
Regina rolled her eyes. "Yeah and you're an adult. You probably deserved it. Like maybe because you were skateboarding too fast again because... I don't know, you were late? Hmm?"
"Ouch. That hit too close to home. I’m just gonna go... lick my wounds in the bathroom."
"Wait." Regina pointed at the first aid kit with her chin. "Make sure to disinfect."
"Aww so somewhere in there you do care about me."
"Don't be ridiculous. I'm just tryna cover my ass so I don't get stuck with an amputated employee." She stuck her tongue out.
Andrew laughed as he grabbed the first aid kit and walked towards the back.
Neither of them realized that while they talked, Lary had wriggled himself out of Regina's grasp and splatted onto the ground. Ouch! Lary loaded up all the hurt and pain and wailed, "Mommy!"
All the side conversations in the establishment screeched to a halt, with only the rumbling of the A/C breaking the silence. Even the customer who'd been hollering into her phone dropped her jaws. Everyone stared between the small child and the teenage boy in the Papa Joe uniform.
Andrew froze, face flushing with heat. He couldn't meet anyone's eyes, especially Regina's, whose death glare could make even a stone statue break a sweat.
He ducked back towards her, snatched the little shit that was ruining his life and fled to the employee bathroom.
Andrew slammed the door shut and unleashed a scream-whisper, sounding like a banshee on helium. "What the hell was that? Mommy? What do you mean mommy?"
Lary blinked back, confused. Why did his servant appear to be upset? Based on his careful observations he had assumed servants liked being called mommy. Perhaps... that was not the case? "...Daddy?"
"..." Andrew was speechless.
The child seemed so serious and confused that Andrew doubted his reality for a second. But no! How could he have a child when he was a virgin? And gay to boot! Was he in some parallel universe? Or did he wake up in the wrong body?
He glanced into the bathroom mirror and verified that he still was the same Andrew he’d always been. A carbon copy of the dad he detested, but younger and clean shaven.
He took a deep breath.
"I'm not sure why you think I'm your mom, or dad. But I'm not! I swear I've never had a kid, I've never even had s--cough. Well you know, I've never done the deed."
The deed? What deed? Lary's grasp of the language humans used here was minimal. What was his servant saying? Frown and nod. Hope that whatever he said wasn't a question.
Andrew: "So..?"
Lary deepened the frown.
Andrew: "Why are you frowning? Do you not understand? Why did you call me 'Mommy' and 'Daddy'?"
The frown and nod technique wasn't working! He couldn't just say that he'd seen other children scream 'mommy' when they were distressed, and their head servant had come running to them. So far he'd gotten by with minimal explanation but felt that if he talked too much he would give away that he didn't belong in this world. Time to whip out his ace again!
Regina, who was still mulling over her shock of Andrew being called "mommy" before her, became alarmed when she heard the child scream from within the employee bathroom. Was it a spider?
She tried to open the door to check on them but it was locked. Why was it locked? Was Andrew bullying the poor kid? "What's going on in there?" She banged on the grimy door, grimacing a moment later as she realized she definitely touched something sticky.
"Nothing!" Andrew shouted from the other side. Andrew lowered his voice back to that banshee whisper. "Stop crying right this moment or I'm calling the police."
It was a strange way to threaten a crying child, but Andrew noticed that Lary's eyes were dry which could only mean he was pretending. And that grated on his nerves even more than the fact that Lary kept secretly wiping more snot on him.
Lary started trembling and silent tears dribbled out of his red eyes, making Andrew's heart clench.
"Shh I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. It was a lie." Andrew scooped up the little boy and patted his back. Once the kid stopped trembling Andrew let out a deep breath and collapsed onto the toilet lid, not even caring how gross it was. He glanced at his phone. Not even 10am yet. Damn. Kids were such a handful. Good thing he didn’t plan on having any. "How about this, let's come up with a safe word."
"Safe word?" Lary mumbled into Andrew's chest.
"Yeah. It's something you can say when you're overwhelmed. It'll let me know that I should back up and give you space."
Lary stayed silent, processing. Although he had picked up the language with relative ease, his servant was using a lot of words he wasn't quite familiar with.
Andrew glanced at the moldy mop in the corner."So for example, just now, instead of crying, you could say mozzerella mop."
"Motsy mop?"
"Sure, motsy mop. And it would go both ways. So when you start crying, instead of threatening you, I could say motsy mop, and that will let you know I’m at my wit’s end and you need to stop screaming or whatever you happen to be doing."
Lary nodded. Although crying had been fun, it was a coward's way out. His servant's proposal held some merits.
"So, truce?" Andrew set Lary down, and put out his hand.
Lary saw that Andrew was looking at him expectantly, as if he wanted him to do something.
Lary considered for a moment before gently wrapped his mouth around the outstretched hand, which seemed like the most appropriate thing to do.
"Ah!" Andrew yanked back his hand. "What are you doing?"
Lary scrunched up his face. "Motsy mop?"
Andrew's eyes widened. He used the safe word? He used the safe word! Andrew relaxed into a smile. "This is how you shake." He used his other hand to guide Lary's small hand into his larger one. "It means we agree on the terms discussed."
Lary smiled and shook his hand with glee. "Truce!" he yelled back.
Regina was so curious what the hell was taking so long in the bathroom, she'd wiped a tiny section of the sticky door clean before pressing up her ears against it to suss out whether Andrew was giving Lary a hard time. She'd personally birthed seven feisty kittens, there would be no bullying on her watch!
Wait. They seemed to be talking about mozzarella? Was the child hungry? Was that why he was crying?
Enlightened, Regina hurried behind the counter with a devious grin. She glanced at the backlog of pizzas to be made, and proceeded to ignore the list and make something different.
While Regina busied herself with the quest to win Lary’s heart through his stomach, Andrew picked Lary up and approached the sink, to clean and bandage him.
Andrew casually flicked open the broken, leaky faucet. Water blasted out, spraying everywhere.
Lary yelped and wriggled out of Andrew's arms like a terrified octopus escaping the clutches of a stunned chef. He scrambled away from Andrew and flattened himself against the grimy bathroom wall like he could escape its confines if he was pancake enough.
Andrew shut off the water, and found Lary staring with wide eyes at the spout.
...Was he afraid of water? He'd only been alive for how long, how could he have so many fears?
Andrew bit back a sigh, wet a paper towel, and approached cautiously.
Lary was already too pancaked to the wall to step backwards. Instead, he slid sideways along the wall, trying to maintain maximal distance from both the sink and the menacing human approaching.
Andrew grimaced when he saw the streaks Lary left behind. He didn’t want to know what the child had just mopped off the wall.
"It's okay, it's just me. And Mr paper towel." Andrew held up the corner of the wet square and waved it. Lary didn’t smile but at least he stopped backing away. Andrew used this chance to gently hold his little hand still and blot at the scrape.
Lary blushed with shame. He knew he was being childish, but he couldn’t help it. That was the danger with shifting into an inferior form. Shifters always picked up characteristics of the form they shifted into, and being a small human child was making him squeamish and fearful, his usual composure aggravatingly out of reach.
Yes, he was afraid of water. But if anyone he knew back home saw him now they would find it hysterical. The powerful omnishifter who could take on five-on-one quivering with fear from a tiny bit of water. Lary drowned in self loathing as he yearned to shift into a powerful predator, and destroy everything in his path, simply to regain some semblance of normalcy.
Andrew opened up the first aid kit to look for bandaids, and did a double take. The kit was a normal red with the big white cross on the outside. But the inside was full of cat paraphernalia.
Even the antibiotic ointment had cats dancing on it. Where did Regina even find this? Did she make it herself?
Andrew stifled a laugh as he imagined Regina secretly turning Papa Joe into cat city. He was curious now what other Yeaster eggs he might discover if he poked around the establishment.
He opened the box of bandaids and found cats of all shapes and sizes. He was going to pick one at random but saw Lary suddenly drop to his knees and gingerly pick one up.
He held the bandaid close to his face, absorbing every detail with awe.
Andrew leaned in, curious what had caught Lary’s eye.
On the plastic strip was a print of a regal white tiger.
Lary had been ostracized and bullied from birth. Because while the rest of his tribe had orange hair, amber eyes and healthy golden skin, he had white hair, pale blue eyes and pallid skin.
Everyone would whisper that they didn’t know how such a strange and sickly looking child had appeared among them. Maybe he was a child of some bird or fish tribe?
In Lary's world, the average person could shift between a beast and human form. There were the rare omnishifters who could shift into any form that were trained to protect and rule the empire of tribes. And then there were the defects - non-shifters who couldn't shift into any beast form. Nobody knew what exactly they were until they hit puberty. But also, no tribe would want to raise a child that wasn't theirs. Because Lary looked so vastly different from the rest of his tribe, he was bullied by his cousins and neglected by the adults. Everyday of his prepubescent life he fervently prayed his beast form was a tiger. He’d rather die than find out he’s some bird or fish, or worse, a defect.
When he turned thirteen, he successfully shifted into a tiger as he so desperately wished. He was ecstatic and looked around expecting everyone to finally welcome him into the clan. But everyone had stepped away from him in horror instead.
Why? He was a tiger! Just like them! But when he looked down he saw that instead of the gorgeous orange that glinted in the sun, he was white.
He remembered the feeling of disbelief, of the world crumbling as he sprinted to the lake. The very lake the bigger kids loved to push him into and hold him under every time he’d tried to drink water.
He cautiously stepped closer and peered into it. And confirmed his fears.
He was indeed a tiger. But he would never. Ever. Belong.
When he later was revealed the gift of omnishifting, instead of being celebrated, his entire tribe merely sighed in relief that he was no longer their problem and dumped him at the Royal Atrium. Afraid to let it be known that the sickly white abomination had been born from the great and powerful Tiger Tribe.
It had been bittersweet to enter the Royal Atrium. His birth tribe held no fond memories for him. Perhaps outside, he would find a place he belonged. Meet others like himself.
But no matter where he went, he was an outcast. Nobody ever saw him. They just saw the pallid skin, the light eyes and lighter hair, and knew to make a wide berth.
His heart that longed for acceptance had frozen over with time. He’d given up on finding his people, finding a place he belonged. If people didn’t love him, they could fear him. This shift in thinking had been what allowed him to overtake his peers these past few years.
When he found himself in this strange world ruled by defects, and shifters were non-existent, he never expected to find that this was where he’d finally find someone who looked like him.
Andrew was trying to wiggle free the bandaid Lary was death gripping but froze when he saw the tears silently dribbling down his face.
“Umm… Do you want this bandaid?”
Lary relaxed his grip. He used his sleeves to smear the tears and snot around and nodded.
Andrew carefully placed the crumpled bandaid over the scrape on his palm. Then he moved onto the next scrape. He saw that each box only had one copy of each cat, so thoughtfully opened up a new box to find another white tiger bandaid, because Lary seemed to care about this for some reason.
Unfortunately there were only three boxes of bandaids, but Lary needed one more bandaid.
“Will this one do?” Andrew asked, holding up an orange tiger bandaid.
“NO!” Lary slapped the bandaid out of his hand. Although everyone had shunned and hurt him, the ones who had been the cruelest were those from his very own tribe.
“Umm… how about this one then?” Andrew presented Lary a snow leopard bandaid.
Lary didn’t say anything but held out his knee, showing that he acquiesced to the snow leopard.
Andrew exhaled in relief. Damn, kids were temperamental.
-- Little Theater
Papa Joe's public restroom: 🥺 wow best day ever! Usually thinks I'm too yuck to spend time with me, but I got so much skinship today! 🤩
