Deep within I.M.P City lies a bar called "The Golden Dragon". Blood covers the front of it as steel grates cover the windows and Door. A few heads roll along the ground in front of the door, leaving behind a nice blood trail.

Several Fireworks go off in the distance and the grates open up and lights shine inside. The clock chime echoes through out the city.

"Finally it's over." A voice complains.

Inside is all empty but two people are at the bar. Behind the bar counter stands a tall red scaled demon with orange hair and two spike-like horns on the side of his head. Piercing amber eyes with eye hole pupils, a long sleek tail sways behind him.

In front of the Bartender sits a demon wearing a black leather cowboy hat with a cross-laced leather band. Black hair with brown strands stick out from under the hat. A grey vest rests over a button up white shirt. A bandoleer across his chest filled with revolver rounds, as well as a belt, that holds up black pants, filled with pistol bullets and a black revolver holstered on his right hip. There's a large knife on his left hip.

There's a second holster on his lower back that holds another revolver, but only the black handle with glowing feathered wings on it is seen. The holster rests just below a black and yellow snake tail, with diamond patterns, and a rattle on the end of it. Over everything is a black coat with diamond patterns on it. He's got a pair of cream colored boots with spurs on them.

The man's grey-tan clawed hand grab onto a glass and bring it up to his mouth and take a long sip. A black pointy mustache covers his upper lip. He lowers the glass and a black forked tongue licks his upper lip, revealing a row of sharp teeth, with two long one's that face backwards.

"Another year down, huh, Jake?" The Bartender grabs a bottle from under the counter and takes a long swig from it.

The cowboy, now known as Jake, looks up at the bartender. His yellow-orange slitted eyes with fiery irises stare at him.

"What's another year to a demon like me." An old western accent comes from Jake.

"Yeah, sometimes I forget your kinda old." The Bartender pours some liquor into Jake's empty glass.

"Watch your tongue, boy." Jake hisses. "Don't you forget who helped you ssstart this place up, SSSmaug."

Smaug waves a hand as he leans on the counter. "Yeah, yeah." He grabs a remote and turns on a TV that's mounted on the wall above the bar. "Anything worth while on TV for once?"

Smaug flips through the channels, going through a couple channels of people having sex, a commercial for a business called I.M.P. Then he flips to the news channel and it's showing a live clip of Cherri Bomb and Sir Pentious clashing.

"Oh, now here's something interesting, Cherri and Sir Pentious, I wounder who'll win?" Smaug sets the remote down.

Jake just glances up at the TV for a second, before going back to his drink. "Who caresss. It's not like either of them will die."

Smaug rolls his eyes. "Can you stop taking the fun out of stuff."

Jake only chuckles with a toothy grin, his tail rattles for a few seconds.

Smaug looks back up to the TV and sees Charlie Morningstar singing on TV and he turns it up.

"Oh... Why is she singing?" Smaug questions.

Jake hisses in displeasure. "I don't like it when people sing."

Smaug stares at the TV for a few seconds, before turning it off. "Yeah, you're right, I don't like it when people sing either." He tosses the remote to the side. "It hasn't been even an hour after the extermination and she's singing about Redeeming souls in hell. I think she's kinda stupid, who'd want to be redeemed? Hell's awesome."

Jake just swirls his drink, before taking another sip.

Outside a deer demon in a red suit arrives with a large smile on his face.

Back inside Smaug grabs a glass and starts cleaning it. "Soooo.... You got any interesting Bounty contracts?"

Jake stares at Smaug, his eyes burning into Smaug.

"Hehehe..." Smaug gulps. "Right, you don't talk about work that much."

The door opens and a bell chimes.

Smaug smiles, and looks to the newcomer. "Wel..." His eyes widen. "-come... I'll be right back!" Smaug disappears into the kitchen.

"Ahhh, Jake, my dear friend..." A voice with a radio filter calls out.

The glass is Jake's hand cracks as his tail rattles. "Alastor." He glances back and glares at Alastor.

"Oh, don't be like that." Alastor walks over to Jake and puts an arm around him. "We haven't seen each other in such a long time, we should celebrate, friend."

Alastor hears a click and his smile widens as he looks down and sees Jake pointing his revolver into deer demon's stomach.

"I'd like it if you'd remove your arm." Jake glares at Alastor.

Alastor laughs as he steps back from Jake. "Oh, come on, let's not get hasty now, shall we, Jakey?" The space around him starts to glitch.and crackle.

Jake stares at Alastor before he spins his revolver and slams it into its holster. "What do you want." He turns away and sips on his drink.

"I'm just here to call in that favor you owe me from 30 years ago."

Jake chokes on his drink and coughs as he beats on his chest. "The fuck you mean, favor?"

Alastor leans onto the counter next to Jake. "Oh have you forgotten?" He taps Jake on the head with his radio can. "Let me remind you, you happen to piss off someone very powerful and I, like the good friend I am, stepped in and got you out of trouble."

Jake blinks a few times before his tail rattles. "Fuck me..."

"Ahhh, so you remember?" Alastor only gets the bird as a response, causing his grin to grow. "Good, good. Now that you remember, I want to use that favor you owe me."

Jake sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Fine, what do you want, Alasssstor?" His forked tongue flicks out for a second.

"Oh, nothing much, just for you to accompany me to Happy Hotel!"

"The Fuck isssss Happy Hotel?"

"Oh, just the source of our new enjoyment!" Alastor puts an arm around Jake, making him hiss at Alastor.

Alastor makes Jake stand, and the two walk towards the door of the bar.

Jake stands at a tall seven feet and two inches. (218.4 cm.) An inch shorter then Alastor.

.

.

Jake stares up at a tall hotel in front of him with a frown.

"I already don't like thisss, place." Jake grumbles.

"Ah, don't worry old pal, this will be a delightful experience." Alastor claims as he walks up to the door and knocks on it.

The door opens up, revealing one Charlie Morningstar, Jake's eye widen slightly.

Charlie's eyes widen as she looks at the two beyond the door.

"Hel-" The door slams in Alastor's face. Then after a second it opens up again. "-lo!" The door slams shut again.

Alastor's eye twitches slightly.

"Was that..." Jake points at the door. "Charlie Morningssstar?"

Alastor nods. "Yup my dear friend, and the owner of this... place!"

Jake's rattle shakes for a few seconds as he stares at Alastor. "Why did you bring me here! I don't want to get mixed up with more Hell Royalty!"

Alastor taps Jake's head a few times with his cane. "Don't worry about it, chum, everything will be fine."

"Don't call me, chum, asshole." Jake hisses.

The door opens and Alastor swiftly turns to it and sees Charlie.

"May I speak now?" Alastor asks.

"You may..." Charlie says.

Alastor reaches his hand out. "Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you, sweetheart." he points a thumb behind him. "And that angry lookin' fellow is Jake!" He lets himself in and Jake follows right behind. "Excuse my sudden visit, but I saw your fiasco on a picture show, and I just couldn't resist! What a performance! Why, I haven't been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929! Hahaha!" He plays with his mic staff. "Sooo many orphans..."

"What's a stock market?" Jake mumbles.

Suddenly a harpoon is pointed at Alastor's chest.

"Stop right there, carbón hijo de perra!" Vaggie orders. "I know your game and I'm not gonna let you hurt anyone here, you pompous cheesy-" Angel's head pops in, unamused. "-talk show shitlord!" She points at Jake. "Same goes for you, Rattlesnake!"

Jake's tongue flicks out as his tail rattles.

Alastor uses his finger to move the harpoon away. "Dear, if I wanted to hurt anyone here..." He turns into his full demon form. "I would've done so already..." Everything around his glitches and distorts.

Charlie and Vaggie stare at Alastor in fear, Jake just huffs in annoyance.

Everything returns to normal. "No!" Alastor starts. "My friend and I are here because we want to help!"

"Say what, now?" Charlie and Jake say at the same time.

Alastor repeats himself. "Help! Hahah, hello? Is this thing on?" He taps on his mic. "Test, testing!"

Alastor's mic opens its eye. "Well, I heard you loud and clear!"

Jake pinches the bridge of his nose. "Damn, now I wish I was dead." He leans on a nearby wall.

"Um, you two want to help? With...?" Charlie asks.

Alastor teleports behind Charlie and Vaggie with his shadow. "This ridiculous thing you're trying to do! This hotel! I want to help you run it, while Jake here can help protect it and you, Princess!"

"I didn't agree to this." Jake states. "Besides, I don't think the Princesssss of Hell needs protecting."

"It's all in the favor, my dear Snake!"

Jake rolls his eyes.

"Buuuut... why?" Charlie asks.

"Hahaha, why does anyone do anything?" Alastor asks. "Sheer, absolute boredom! I've lacked inspiration for decades. My work became mundane, lacking focus." He shoves Vaggie away, and she nearly falls onto Jake, but he stops her with his tail. "Aimless! I've come to crave a new form of entertainment! Hahaha!"

Vaggie walks back over and glares at Alastor.

"Does getting into a fistfight with a reporter count as entertainment...?" Charlie asks.

"I'd say ssssso." Jake chuckles.

Alastor laughs. "It's the purest kind, my dear: Reality! True passion! After all, the world is a stage and the stage is a world of entertainment."

"So, does this mean you think it's possible to rehabilitate a demon?" Charlie asks.

"Hahahaha!" Alastor shakes a hand in front of Charlie. "Of course not! That's wacky nonsense!" He shakes his head back and fourth.

"He's got a point kid." Jake speaks up.

Alastor continues. "Redemption, oh the non-existent humanity! No, no, no, no. I don't think there's anything left that could save such loathsome sinners!" He looks over to Vaggie. who is offended, and Angle who just shrugs. "The chance given was the life they lived before, the punishment is this!" He puts his arms out, gesturing the entirety of Hell. "There is no undoing what is done!"

"So, then. Why do you two wanna help me if you don't believe in my cause?" Charlie asks.

Alastor's grin grows. "Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself!" He pulls Charlie close to him and twirls her. "I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure!"

Charlie glances at Jake.

Jake sighs and points his clawed thumb at Alastor. "I owe that loathssssome person a favor."

Charlie removes Alastor's hand from her back. "Riiigth."

Alastor nods. "Yes, indeedy!" He grabs Charlie by the waist and drags her somewhere. "I see big things coming your way and who better to help you than I?"

Jake groans and follows after Alastor, his spurs jingling as he goes.

Angel Dust and Vaggie watch the three walk off to the side.

"Uh, sooo..." Angel Dust starts. "What's the deal with Smiles and Rattely over there?"

"Wait, you've never heard of them before?" Vaggie asks. "You've been here longer than me!"

Angel Dust shrugs cluelessly.

"The Radio Demon. One of the most powerful beings Hell has ever seen? And Rattlesnake Jake, the notorious Bounty Hunter?"

Angel shrugs a second time. "Eh, not big on politics."

"Ugh!" Vaggie leans in on Angel Dust as she begins her story. "Decades ago, Alastor manifested in Hell, seemingly overnight. He began to topple Overlords who have been dominant for centuries. That kind of raw power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcast his carnage all throughout Hell just so everyone could witness his ability. Sinners started calling him 'The Radio Demon', as lazy as that is. Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world's most ancient and destructive evils. But one thing's for sure: He's an unpredictable source of danger, a wicked spirit of mystery, and a violent monster of chaos, the likes of which we can't risk getting in involved with unless we want to end up erased!

Then Rattlensake Jake, he's someone who appeared almost two centuries ago. When he first appeared in Hell he went on a rampage across the Pride Ring, killing hundreds if not thousands of demons. He's all bite and hardly any bark. He'll kill you without a second thought. He's taken down several Overlords that have gotten in his way, all for the sake of money. I heard he even has a way to easily kill Sinners. But he's been quiet for the last few decades, but we still can't turn our backs on him!"

"Ya done?" Angel laughs dryly. "The Radio looks like a strawberry pimp and the other is just tall, dark, and brooding."

Vaggie crosses her arms. "Well, I don't trust them!"

"To be fair, do you trust any man? Any men? Men?"

Vaggie walks over to the three and pulls Charlie to the side. "Charlie, listen to me. You can't believe that creep, Alastor. He isn't just a happy face! He's a deal-maker! They're both pure evil! They can't be redeemed! ...And Alastor's most likely looking for a way to destroy everything we're trying to do!"

"I..." Charlie sighs. "We don't know that! Look, I know they're bad, and I know they probably don't wanna change, but the whole point of this is to give people a chance!"

Alastor and Jake inspect a portrait of the royal family. Jake twists part of his mustache. Jake then lets out a large yawn, flexing two large hangs forward.

Charlie continues. "To have faith things will be better! How can I turn someone away? I can't. It goes against everything I'm trying to do. Everything I believe in." She puts her hands on Vaggie's shoulders. "Just... trust me. I can take care of myself."

"Charlie, whatever you do, do not make a deal with him!" Vaggie warns.

"Don't worry, I picked up one thing from my dad!" Charlie then imitates her dad's voice. "'You don't take shit from other demons!'" She walks off to where Alastor and Jake are. "Okay, so, Al. You're sketchy as fuck and you clearly see what I'm trying to do here as a joke."

As Charlie turns away, glowing red symbols start to appear beside Alastor which quickly disappear after Charlie turns back to him. Jake raises an eyebrow and glances at the deer demon.

Charlie continues. "But, I don't. I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be better. So, I'm taking your offer to help." Jake sighs in disappointment. "On the condition that there be no..." She makes gestures with her hands. "-tricks or voodoo strings attached."

"So, it's a deal, then?" As Alastor rolls his eyes at that last statement, he twirls his mic staff and presents his hand fora handshake as green energy bursts through the hotel.

Charlie refuses to shake his hand. "Nope! No shaking! No deals! I... hmmm. As princess of Hell and heir to the throne, I, uh, hereby order that you two help with this hotel. For as long as you desire."

A howling wolf can be heard in the background as Charlie looks over to Vaggie for approval. Jake's eyebrow twitches as his forked tongue flicks out for a second.

"Sounds fair?" Charlie asks.

"Not to me..." Jake huffs, but Alastor pushes him away, making Jake's tail rattle.

Alastor rubs his chin. "Hmmm..." He retracts his mic staff.  "Fair enough!"

Charlie sighs in relief. "Cool beans." She gives two thumbs up

Alastor hims as he looks around the hotel, then stops in front of Vaggie. "Smile, my dear!" He tickles the underside of her chin, causing her to glare at him. "You know you're never fully dressed without one!"  He walks away as he continues humming. "So where is your hotel staff?" He asks as he walks over to Charlie.

"Uh, well-" Charlie just glances at Vaggie, who's starring Alastor dead in the eyes.

"You're tryna' run a hotel with only one other person?" Jake asks.

Charlie nervously laughs as she rubs the back of her head.

"Kids these days..." Jake shakes his head.

Alastor adjusts his monocle. "Ohohoho, you're going to need more than that." He walks towards Angle Dust. "And what can you do, my effeminate fellow?"

"I can suck your dick!" Angel gives a toothy smile.

Mic feedback can be heard in the background as Alastor tries to process what he was just offered. Jake looks over with widened eyes.

"HAH! No." Alastor responds.

Angel Dust scoffs. "Your loss."

"Well this won't do!" Alastor takes out his mic staff. "I suppose I can cash in a few more favors to liven things up."

At the snap of Alastor's finger, a new fireplace has replaced the hotel's worn down one as he approaches it and picks up a mysterious figure covered in soot. Which then opens up its eye and stares at the four behind Alastor.

The demons poofs off the soot from her body.

"What a tiny little thing..." Jake Observes.

"This little darling is Niffty." Alastor informs.

Niffty gets dropped to the floor, but she's unaffected by it. "Hi, I'm Niffty! It's nice to meet you! It's been a while since I've made new freinds!" She spots Jake. "OH, A MAN!"

"Ha?" Jake raises an eyebrow.

Niffty suddenly appears on Jake's back. "Hi, I'm Niffty! We should be really close freinds!"

"Hey!" Jake tries to grab Niffty off his back, but she just crawls around him. "Get this damn, chipmunck off me!"

"Oh wow, such strong legs~"

Jake grabs Niffty off his leg and holds her up. "Got ya!"

Niffty only disappears out of his grasp, and stands on his head and looks around. "Ooooh, man! This place is filthy!"

"Get off me, you damn chipmunk!" Jake shouts as his tail rattles and he swats at her.

Niffty zooms onto the floor, just out of Jake's reach. "It really needs a lady's touch." She grabs a spider and crushes it. "Which is weird because there's three ladies, no offence." She suddenly takes out a feather duster. "Oh, my gosh! This is awful!" She speed cleans throughout the hotel. "Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope!" She spots a cockroach and stabs it with a sewing pin. "Nope!"

Jake rubs his temples as his tongue flicks out.

A light shines behind the other five and they look back to see a car demon sitting at a car table.

Husk lays his his cards down on the table. "Hah! Read 'em and weep, boys! Full ho-" Demonic illusions and voices distort his surroundings temporarily. "-tel? What the fuck is this?" He looks around and spots Alastor, eliciting an angry purr as he points at him. "You!"

"Ah, Husker, my good friend!" Alastor greets. "Glad you could make it!"

"Don't you 'Husker' me, you son of a bitch! I was about to win the whole damn pot!"

The jackpot disappears into nothing ness.

"Good to see you too!" Alastor says with a smug grin.

Husk facepalms angrily. "What the hell do you want with me this time...?"

Alastor puts an arm around Husk. "My friend, I and Jake-" He motions to the snake demon. "-are doing some charity work so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services! I hope that's okay!"

"Jake?! He's got you roped into this?"

Jake doesn't respond as he only stares off to the side, but his tail does rattle slightly.

Husk groans. "Are you shittin' me?!"

"Hmmm..." Alastor hums. "No, I don't think so!"

Husk pushes Alastor off. "You thought it'd be some kind of big fucking riot just to pull me out of nowhere?! You think I'm some kind of fucking clown?!"

Alastor grins as if he's about to laugh. "Maybe!"

"I an't doing no fucking charity job."

Alastor teleports behind Husk through his shadow. "Well, I figured you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment." He gestures towards the bar he made out of his magic. "With your charming smile-" He pulls Husk's lips into a forced smile. "-and welcoming energy, this job was made for you! Don't worry my friend." He walks over to the bar, revealing the soles of his shooes to have deep prints. "I can make this more welcoming! ...If you wish."

A bottle of 'Cheap Booze' appears out of thing air.

Husk stares at the booze for a second, then walks over to the bar. "What? You think you can buy me with a wink-"" He winks sarcastically. "-and some cheap booze?!" He grabs the booze and looks at it. "...Well, you can!" He downs the booze.

Jake smiles as his tail shoots up. He walks over to the bar and slides a stool over. Husk pours him a drink and he sips on it.

"Hey, hey!" Vaggie calls out. "Hey, hey, hey! No! No bar, no alcohol! This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of mouth...brothel...man cave!"

Angel Dust launches himself at Vaggie, and tackles her to the ground. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! We-" He pouts to the bar with all his fingers. "-are keeping this!" He then slides over to the bar and flits with Husk. "Hey-"

"Go fuck yourself." Husk glares at Angle.

Angel holds Husk's face. "Only if you watch me!"

Husk pushes Angel away, and he lands next to Jake. Angel smirks as he leans onto Jake.

"Snakey boy-"

A click is heard and Angle looks down to see a Revolver pointed at his privates.

"Back. Off." Jake orders with a hiss.

Angel takes a step back.

Charlie runs over to the counter and greets Husk. "Oh, my gosh! Welcome to The Happy Hotel! You are going to love it here!" She tries to go for a handshake.

Husk reaches for his booze. "I lost the ability to love years ago." Continues to down his booze.

Jake chuckles and holds up his drink; he and Husk clink drinks then down them.

"So, whaddya think?" Alastor asks Charlie.

"This is amazing!" Charlie rubs her cheeks excitedly.

Vaggie crosses her arms. "It's... okay."

Alastor reels Charlie and Vaggie towards him. "Hahaha! This is going to be very entertaining!"

Alastor then lets go of Vaggie and summons a fireball, launching it to the hotel ceiling just so he could distract Charlie fast enough for him to shove Vaggie away. Then he dresses himself in a tux and matching top hat.

Alastor starts to sing and dance. "♫You have a dream!" He twirls Charlie and dresses her up. "You wish to tell!" Alastor turns to Vagiie, who's now on the floor. "And it's just laughable." He turns back to Charlie and tosses her mid-air. "But, hey, kid, what the hell?♫"

The background behind Charlie changes to neon colored lights featuring two apples and a skill.

Alastor catches Charlie by the hand as they both dance together. "♫ 'Cause you're one-of-a-kind! A charming demon belle! ♫" The two slide down the railing of the stairs. "♫Now, let's give these burning fools a place to dwell! ♫" He dresses up the rest of the hotel staff.

Jake's cowboy outfit changes to a suit and tie. His hat disappears revealing a pair of black horns, that slightly curve back, with red diamond patterns on it. Jake's eyes twitch as the glass in his hand shatters.

"♫Take it, boys!♫" Alastor sings.

Shadow demons appear from the floorboards and begin to playing their instruments as Vaggie tries to talk to Charlie, who is having too much fun. Alastor pulls her in with him and the others as his shadow demons surround them. Jake's rattle shakes, providing some music.

"Boo!" The Shadow Demons yell.

"♫Why must we sing all the time♫" Jake sings as he holds a hand out to a glass bottle of booze and black whips surround the bottle. The bottle then flies to his hand.

"♫Haha!" Alastor laughs. "Inside very demon is a lost cause!" he puts a fedora on Angle's head as he snaps his fingers back at Alastor. "But we'll dress 'em up for now, with just a smile!♫" He slaps Vaggie's ass.

"♫With a smile!♫" The Shadow Demons sing.

"♫And we'll chlorinate this cesspool with some old redemption flair!" Alastor kicks off a skull which Niffty rushes in and cleans off. "And show these simpletons some proper class and style! ♫" He summons a shadow clone of himself.

"♫ Class and Style! ♫" The Shadow Demons sing.

Alastor snaps his shadow away. "♫ Oh! Here below the ground,-" He pinches Charlie's cheeks. "-I'm sure your plan is sound!" He holds hands with Charlie as they both twirl. "They'll spend a little time, down at this Hazbin Ho-"

The door to the hotel explodes, knocking Niffty far away as everyone looks outside, back in their normal clothing.

Sir Pentious' war ship has made an appearance outside the hotel.

"Hah!" Sir Pentious appears at a window and stares down at the group. "Well, well, well. Look who it is harboring the striped freak! We meet yet again, Alastor!"

"Do I know you?" Alastor asks.

Sir pentious' ego deflates. "Oh, yes you do!" His hood flares open as he heads back inside his air-ship. "And this time, I have the element of-" he pulls a lever. "SURPRISE! Ahahah! I'm so evil!"

A large laser cannon comes out from the bottom of the airship and points at the group. Jake sighs as takes a swig from the bottle in his hand.

Alastor snaps his fingers, an otherworldly dimensional portal opens with tentacles and shadow demons emerging from it, destroying Sir Pentious' ship with him inside. Alastor then finishes it off as he clenches his fist, with a few drops of blood dripping off his hand. The War ship explodes, and Alastor then grins menacingly in satisfaction for a moment as the other, but Jake, look at him in shock and horror. Jake just has a bored look as he spits some saliva off to the side.

Alastor then breaks the tension. "...Well, I'm starved! Who wants some Jambalaya?" He heads back to the hotel and everyone follows. "My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for Jambalaya. In fact, it nearly killed her! Hahaha! You could say the kick was right out of Hell! Ohohoho, I'm on a roll! Yes, sir! This is the start of some real changes down here! The frame is set! Now..."

Alastor uses his magic to change the sign atop the hotel from "Happy Hotel" to "Hazbin Hotel".

"Stay tuned." Alastor says sinisterly. "Hahaha...!"

"This isssss gonna be a long eternity, issssn't it?" Jake sighs.

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02-08-2024

4653 words