The power withheld

 

Cameron

 

Cameron wished very much that he hadn't died of cancer, that he had met Andrea beforehand, at least to feel her touch once. These wishes, they made him feel strange, like...Like he did not belong where he was currently.

But, even with the strange feeling that was quite overwhelming to him, he could not help but continue to wish for these events to either not occur or to have occurred.

How nice would it have been to have seen her with human eyes? He may not know how to go beyond the first meeting, but he was sure that they would have been with each other very often after that!

Already he knows of wanting to comfort her, what else could be there to experience and do!?

What did the humans do in a case such as this?

Spirits did not have intimate relations, we rarely spoke unless we had too...This life...To Cameron...It was now...Lacking...

An unspeakable amount of want went through him, to experience more and be with Andrea, and even though he was a spirit, and not a being that should have a want for something, he felt like he was still supposed to feel this way!

 

He did, though, find it strange that both he and Andrea's sister both died of cancer and at the same time in the past.

Cameron stood up, startling Andrea, he looked down and said, "I apologize, I didn't have the intention to startle you. I thought of an idea...If by chance things were determined, then I believe certain events went wrong with your sister and I. They doubled up, as though being twins had crossed over...It is hard to explain but what I am trying to state is that somehow, perhaps, her and I are linked...Tell me Andrea, what kind of cancer did Amillia have."

He got down closer to her again, waiting for her response, "She had two at the end, breast cancer, and then not long after she was diagnosed with lung cancer."

 

Andrea turned abruptly again, away from Cameron. He waited for Andrea to think of what was happening, he could feel her getting worried, getting panicky and then he heard her think that it wasn't fair…

Cameron couldn't take it anymore and he asked her what was going on. Andrea didn't move back to him for another minute and then she sighed, closing her eyes.

He saw pictures in her head of puppies and patterns and her sister, and then she opened her eyes in search of his. She told him silently that she was getting transferred, to clean at another hospital. She was being watched, already being on the 'last line', which made Cameron confused upon what it meant.

 

Her boss was worried about her and wanted her to go somewhere else and take it easy. Apparently, this 'hospital' that she worked at was quite a heavily populated hospital. But to Cameron, all that meant was that a lot of people were hurt upon her planet.

To him, in the spirit world, no one was ever hurt, they never needed such a thing as a 'hospital'…

Andrea kept repeating to herself that she wasn't going to cry, making him completely forget upon his own thoughts and immediately want to comfort this beautiful being in front of him.

 

Cameron thought of Andrea as a very strong woman, a woman that was capable to overcoming hardship and loss, one that could feel a tremendous amount of emotions!

Not one tear escaped her eyes and he felt another type of emotion surge through him, yet he didn't know or understand what it was!

 "Please, do not get upset, Andrea, we will still be able to meet, do be at ease and please do not cry."

Andrea smiled at him and thought that she was told to go to the boss's office, then to go home for the rest of the day.

Cameron watched her pack up a few items and then turn to him, and said, "I will see you soon."

And within moments, she was gone...Again...

 

***

 

Cameron sat still for a moment, hoping Andrea will be able to endure on her own. He knew that she would see him, that not much time would pass before she would appear right back up again, so he was not going to just sit there.

Yet…It bothered him that she was upset, yet what was he to do?

At least until the next time he sees her, he could at least find some information upon how he could become real in that world, so that he could comfort her the next time that she is upset...

Cameron wasn't going to waste time, the sooner he could show up to her in the flesh, the better the situation will be for her.

 

He picked a book and started skimming through it, it all seemed to be rather unknowledgeable, as he knew already that he could do a better job at writing it. Yet, a question also came up to him in a surprise…Where did these books come from in the first place?

Frowning, Cameron decided to think of this later as he had more pressing matters to attend to!

Another book later, with somewhat the same text, was making Cameron feel wrong, something was wrong. He felt like hitting something, he hadn't felt this kind of feeling very much and it was new...But that seemed like what he wanted to do…

 

With all the questions bouncing inside his head, and now Andrea getting into trouble, it felt like what Andrea had said before…That it wasn’t fair…He felt like, right now, it wasn’t fair!

He knew that Andrea was still raw, so breaking down and becoming depressed again could still happen...With her ‘boss’ pressuring her to change, it will not help her!

A fleeting image came up from being with Andrea before popped into his head and he wondered if that was her ‘boss’. After he questioned if that person was her boss, he knew that if it were, he’d want to hit them for being too insensitive to Andrea!

Yet, even if he wanted this, it wasn’t like he could literally do it…He was stuck here, while she was on another planet entirely!

Cameron felt hopeless and concerned for something that he can't seem to reach out too...It was the most...Anger that he has felt in his spiritual existence!

 

A calling came, he could feel it growing inside of him, he could see what was transpiring before he even got there. He already knew how to help the transper in need, however, how to help the transper wasn’t what he was searching for. Transportation wasn't something he cared to put too much effort into, as it was the calling that he wanted to know about. The connection that is made so that he can transport, is what he was looking for!

Upon knowing how a connection is made, so that he could teleport to the so-called connection, should be similar to that of a calling. Or so he thinks.

This was his only led so far into coming up with ideas and he was going to do his all into seeing if this idea could become a prospect into finding out more upon callings and connections...

The problem was, he was unable to identify anything along the time of teleporting from one place to another…Because it happened too quickly!

So…He was just going to have to make a better observation when he was finished with the transper and was to go back to his room!

 

The transper was quite unpleasant, Cameron could tell that it was an old transper, to the knowledge that went into his system.  He could feel death, leadership and cruelness. Cameron didn't like what he was seeing and gave up trying to help, he filled up the nutrients and stood there.

He saw someone in his head go lifeless, then another coming at him with something he'd seen before with other transper's memories, another with another common object, books, a colour hair and humans, lots of humans looking at him.

The transper's turmoil was getting very strong and Cameron knew that he had to stop it or at least slow it down…

He put his hand into ghostly figure and felt the spiritual feeling go through him and into the transper.

 

He did that ‘til the images changed, and seeing younger people felt like a better experience to Cameron. He went to pull his hand away, but a picture stopped it.

Cameron felt like hitting something again, really hard. This transper wasn't getting better with this image, it was getting worse. Cameron concentrated on flowing more spiritual feeling into the transper, but he still wanted to hit something, seeing even more unnerving events. He pulled his hand out and fell with a thump onto the ground, next to the transper holder.

Straight away, his instincts taking over, he crossed his legs and went into meditation.

 

Moments went by before Cameron felt it was satisfactory to get up, he has had this happen before, some transper's are unable to be helped, and this one was one of them.

Cameron wanted to get out of there that fast that he forgot to think about the ‘calling’ as he transported back to his room.

Transported back now, he felt like yelling, things weren't simple anymore! Waking, like Andrea, to this life, was not something he could easily fall into routine to!

Cameron pictured the transper and punched ‘it’, wanting to feel better but suddenly a hand came onto his, making him feel refreshed straight away. His eyes closed and he smiled, waiting for his core to be washed out.

Feeling as normal as he had since he first remembered being here, he opened his eyes to see the hand holding his arm was flashing with white sparks. He turned his head to see the owner and saw Andrea, "Andrea?"

Her smile was full of patience and showed gentleness, "No Cameron, Amillia."

Cameron stopped her from pulling her hand away, he wanted to talk to her, ask how she found him and ask about Connor. "How did you come to be here Amillia?"

 

She turned her head slightly, "You called for me Cameron, my job is to help those who help the transper's. One transper made you very weak and I was too late to stop you in taking out your energy. I am sure you know that is not the way we use our spiritual essence, Cameron"

Cameron nodded, "Yes. Of course, it is not and you are right…How do I find you again Amillia?"

"I will find you, as you need me." Amillia tugged slightly at her hand but Cameron didn't want to let her go, he wanted more answers!

He thought it wrong though, to keep her, whom was a higher spirit then himself, against her will and let her go, as he already figured out that if he wants to hit something, she will come.

Reading his thoughts, Amillia shook her head. "This is not a place to hold such emotion Cameron, I would take you back to be one of those that you are now trying to transition."

 

Cameron frowned slightly but nodded his head…He knew that meant that he would become a transper again and that would mean that he would be even further away from Andrea then now…

That was something that he could not do!

Cameron, knowing that she was right and wished to continue as a spirit, smiled and said, "Thank you Amillia. It would be a privilege to see you again under different circumstances."

Amillia nodded, "Likewise my friend."

And then, she was gone…

 

***