Liam stood out from the crowd. He was naturally popular, because he had the trifecta - attractive, athletic and smart. It was probably just wishful thinking but whenever I saw Liam crowded by everyone vying for his attention and friendship, I got the sense that he was all alone. Like me.
Although curious about him, I wasn’t about to elbow my way through the crowd only to wave my hands in front of a wall. Because that’s what he’d built up. A Great Wall of China between himself and everyone else.
Lunch time was a haven for those who have their own gang. A nightmare for someone like me, scarred and unable to open up for fear of being hurt again. I used to try to find an empty seat in the cafeteria and scarf my lunch with my head down, but I would be rewarded with painful indigestion for my efforts. So I switched to skipping lunch. Practicing piano was my excuse. It wasn’t really practicing, since I never learned to properly play. But tinker around on the black and white keys enough, and you’ll find your way around them.
I loved to let my mind go, let my fingers have a will of their own and see what sweet and sorrowful tune emerges. Mid song, the untouched sheet music on the stand that I couldn’t read flew off the stand and into my chest. I froze. Was I so in the zone that I accidentally activated my powers? No, that can’t be right. It’s day time. Also I’m indoors. I whipped my head back and saw Liam towering behind me.
“Sorry,” he turned to leave.
My hand snagged the edge of his teal polo. Shit what did I do that for? I let go, but Liam had already turned back in surprise.
I cleared my throat. “Umm you can listen if you want. Or did you want to play?” I quickly got up from the bench, offering him my seat.
“I don’t know how.” Liam seemed hesitant. Vulnerable. Like the walls he puts up at all times seemed to be lowered for some reason. Why here? Why now? I just knew I needed to jump on this opportunity.
With almost out of character confidence, I scooted to the edge of the bench and patted beside me, inviting him over with a smile like it was the most natural thing. “I don’t know either, but these keys sound good together” I explained as I showed him what keys to press. I folded and tucked the fluttering sheet music into my jacket, as if I was guarding against the wind. The hum of the sheets soothed my soul, reassuring me that I wasn’t alone.
After that Liam often came to play piano with me during lunch time. He had a good ear, and in no time was producing melodies of his own. I would add a counter melody, or some supporting arpeggios. Whenever the music we produced was particularly in sync and captivating, we would grin at each other, and I would be lost in his brilliant smile. This smile of pure bliss unlike the mere curving of his lips that he showed others.
Even when he wasn’t revealing his brilliant smile, I could tell he was happy because the pages in my jacket would vibrate like a cat’s purr when he was near. And my heart would thump happily beside it.
I liked him. Maybe… he liked me back.
Except outside of our 1:1 time in the piano room, he would avoid me. At first I thought he just hadn’t seen me. But there couldn’t be so many coincidences. It hurt. But I guess this was reality. I was a loner afterall. And he was the most popular kid, mobs of girls and boys chasing after him out of admiration. I was delusional to think he’d like me.
I stopped going to the piano room. I didn’t go to the cafeteria either. I hid on the roof. What was wrong with me? I was pathetic. I should at least talk to him about this. All I know how to do is run from my problems.
I thought back to middle school. When I’d accidentally kissed my best friend who I’d secretly been crushing on for ages. It was a disaster. He’d been horrified calling me a fucking homosexual while venting with his kicks. His cleats had rendered me bloody and in a panic I’d lashed out and given him a concussion. That’s how I found out I was star-fated. One of the .1% of the population that had telekinetic powers under the light of the stars. Afterwards rumors of me being a violent gay spread throughout school and made my life a living hell. I couldn’t even defend myself because if the government found out I was star-fated I’d be taken away. Made into an emotionless human weapon.
I’d broken down. Fallen apart. So traumatized from social situations that I’d rather jump off of a building than go back to school. I felt bad, but Mom gave up her job to move to a new city to give me a new lease on life. And here I was being a coward and hiding on the roof just because the most popular guy in school wasn’t saying hi to me.
The door opened. It was Liam.
“I finally found you!” He smiled, and I felt a strong wind push me towards him.
“Go away.” I turned back to look at the view, but from the corner of my eyes, saw his hurt expression, and paused. Even when the school bullies had ganged up on him or the teacher had scolded him, he hadn’t revealed such a vulnerable expression. Only to me. I immediately regretted what I said. Maybe I should let him talk. I lunged for the door and grabbed it as Liam started to close it. Liam’s eyes opened wide in surprise at how close our faces were. Who knew whether it was him or me, but his face loomed even closer. Suddenly his lips were on mine. He pulled me, or maybe it was the wind, but I was on top of him and we were making out in the stairwell. My mind was a mess. My grip on rationality faltered and I let myself drown in the kiss that made even my toes tingle.
When our lips finally parted, gasping for air, I pushed out the question that had made me so insecure. “Why do you avoid me in public?”
Liam paused then gently untangled himself and placed me down beside him, carefully, as if I was fragile glass. He undid the watch on his left hand, revealing the star birthmark matching my own.
“I know,” I whispered.
Liam looked surprised.
“I have one too.”
Liam’s gaze swept over me, asking with his eyes where it was. I blushed and cast my eyes down. “I’ll show you another time.” I peeked up at him and saw understanding dawning his eyes, his ears blood red. I buried my face in his chest and he wrapped his long arms around me. The steady beating of his heart calmed me down enough to ask the question that had always lingered at the back of my mind. “I thought star-fated powers only work at night under the light of the stars. But you moved the sheet music during the day. And indoors.”
“And here I thought I’d hidden it so well.” Liam chuckled, vibrating his chest and tickling my ear. “That’s because my star is the sun.”
It took me a moment to process his words. Then suddenly everything clicked. Why he put up walls. Why he only let them down when he was in an isolated room far from the rays of the sun. Why he had avoided me otherwise. He was trying to keep his emotions in check. Never let himself feel to never give others a clue that he could be star-born. He was hiding in plain sight.
My heart hurt thinking about how hard it was for me carrying the weight of abnormality, and how much harder it must’ve been for him to have to fight this every waking moment.
That night I snuck into his home. His room echoed mine. No windows. The walls covered with posters, art and lyrics. This was the only place he could completely let loose and feel. I spied sketches of me laughing, biting my lips in concentration, being silly as I played the piano and my heart sung. I didn’t even know I was capable of expressions like that. I pulled him close, teased him. He teased me back. With gentle fingers, he traced my birthmark mirroring his own, as he sent me to the heights of ecstasy. Again and again.
