I spent most of the drive over to the party thinking about the exchange from earlier. I knew I was embarrassed about the whole incident and a little upset, but couldn’t quite figure out why. I know she meant no harm, so I didn’t mind what happened. But then, in contradiction to that, I still felt embarrassed at the same time. I don’t really want to admit it to myself, but I think the reason I feel that way is not because of what she did, but because I wish she liked what she saw. Or, at least, that she didn’t think my dick was small or unkempt. I tried not to think about it too much. Like I said to myself earlier, having a girl’s hands in that area will make you a little sensitive and the feelings will pass. I don’t want to be thinking weirdly sexual thoughts about my best friend.

As we walked down the unfamiliar pathways of the university, Kaitlyn turned to me and says, “Ah, look at us. A matching pair.” I give her a quizzical look. She is brightly-coloured and beaming, while I am wearing plain, dark clothes and an even plainer expression. We both look great, however; no one ever said that jeans and a collared shirt looked bad on me. And Kaitlyn radiated cuteness in her outfit.

“I guess my brown hair looks exceptionally green today. And look at that! My legs look great in this skirt,” I sarcastically joked, while striking a pose with my right leg in front of me.

“Ever the comedian, Jake. Let’s see you keep that energy when we get inside, huh? Or are you all bark and no bite?” she asked, as the large hall loomed over us. The sound of music and people grew louder with each step.

“Oh, I’ll be the life of the party,” I replied, with a deadpan voice.

We stepped into the large hall and were immediately bathed in the radiance of Kaitlyn’s outfit. The room had several black lights that made every bit of her shine brighter than anyone else in the room. Immediately dancing, her face came alive with a green glow as her hair moved and simultaneously cast colour and shadow over her. She was a walking, talking strobe light, beaming her excited energy to everyone in the room.

I, on the other hand, immediately felt anxious. The room was huge and filled with people I’d never met. The music was louder than was really necessary, and I realised I had no idea where to get drinks or where the toilets were.

“Kaitlyn!” I yelled, barely louder than the surrounding noise.

“What’s up, Jake?” she replied, as she swayed her hips in time with the music.

“I don’t know anyone here…”

“That’s the point,” she interrupted, stopping to face me better.

“I don’t even know where the toilets are, or who to talk to. And you know I can’t just dance with everyone watching me!”

She reassuringly placed a hand on my shoulder. “That’s okay, I’ll stay with you all night. You can talk to me, and I’ll find out what’s what.” I smiled at her, feeling less anxious about the situation. “Here, let’s ask them. They look like they’re having fun.” She skipped away, pulling me with her, towards a group of people before I had a chance to oppose.

“Hi!” She beamed at the crowd while titling her head to the side. Our hands were still interlocked.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Two members of the group answered.

“I like your style, girl,” said the woman who turned to face us. She didn’t seem to mind that Kaitlyn had just approached them out of the blue.

“Yeah! Your hair looks so cool in this light,” added the man she was with.

“We don’t go here and Jacob is very shy. What’s the info on this place?” Kaitlyn asked them, while gesturing to me. I tried to not look so awkward and smiled, mouthing a silent, “Hello.”

“We’re Jess and Jesse,” Jess said, while gesturing to her partner. 

“There’s food over there, a bar at that end and toilets somewhere in the corner over there,” Jesse added, while pointing around the hall.

As I looked around the building, searching for the highlighted locations, Jess pointed at Kaitlyn, “So are you…”

“Kaitlyn.”

“…and Jacob dating? Or…” she asked innocently.

Kaitlyn, while still holding my hand, put her other hand on my bicep and hugged my arm tight. “We sure are!” she said, before I had a chance to say otherwise.

“Oh, that’s great,” Jess replied.

I stared at Kaitlyn and began a telepathic discussion with her. I furrowed my brow and showed her I was unhappy. She replied with smugness and stuck her tongue in and out quickly, followed by a cheeky grin.

“How long have you been dating for?” asked Jesse.

“Um, about a month now.” Kaitlyn replied, sounding like a love-struck teen. She pulled me in closer as I tried to subtly move out of her grip. “Isn’t that right, sweetie?” she added and gave me a loud kiss on the cheek.

This surprised the crap out of me. I wasn’t so shocked when she decided to play couple—just another one of her antics getting me into uncomfortable social situations—but this was further than I thought she would go. Realising I was trapped within the lie, I gathered all the confidence I had, to get the better of the situation and one-up her.

With a deep breath, and a fake bravado, I replied, “That’s right, babe. Celebrating our one-month next weekend.” As I said weekend, I slapped her hard on the butt, gripped an ass cheek fully into my hand and squeezed. “By the way guys, I hope you don’t mind PDA, because she is a little deviant.” My confidence had worked. I had now turned the tables on her, and she was beginning to be embarrassed. I kept squeezing her butt and used the grip to keep her in close to me as she tried to leave.

“PDA is fine, my dude. Usually, Jess and I are the ones who have to be told to stop when we’re out in public.”

“Sounds like you guys will get along like wildfire. Kaitlyn loves to talk about sex, don’t you Kait?” I asked rhetorically. Before she had a chance to interrupt, I added, “Tell them about that new whip you bought yesterday.” Kaitlyn was lost for words and was stuttering trying to find a way to stop me talking. “I’m going to go get some drinks, I’ll leave you three to discuss it.” So off I went, leaving a defeated Kaitlyn with the couple, eager for the details.