The day finally came, Elisabetta and Florina were bundled up in the carriage at first light and wouldn't return until nightfall.

I still had some trepidation about finally speaking with Ariane, so it was lunchtime by the time I found myself tapping at the door to her study. Upon seeing me, she quickly rose from her chair, but I ignored her as I moved to set the tray down on the table. She watched me warily as I sat on the sofa and began serving myself lunch.

"Just so we're clear, I'm still very upset with you," I said, finally breaking the silence.

She offered a weak smile and motioned to a stack of thin volumes on the tea table.

"This is everything that survived the fire. They are yours to keep or destroy as you please," she said stiffly.

"Thank you"

She sat on a seat across from me. Her body was tense and fidgety and she avoided looking directly at me.

"Why?" I asked her. "Why did you do it?"

She hunched her shoulders defensively. When she opened her mouth to speak, her voice was soft and flat.

"It started out as curiosity. After that first night I heard your music, I decided I needed to know everything about you. I wanted to know what you were, how you worked. I wanted to know why he did it.

"I picked the lock to the cellar. As far as I could tell, everything was just as he had left it. I took his notes and I read them. I began to understand. I… I'm more like him than I like to admit. I began to get a glimpse of what he had intended you to be.

"But those notes you left for me in the books," she continued, "the way you played, they were at odds with his descriptions of you. I realized that you were so much more than what he made you to be. I realized that you were a whole person, unbound from his original intentions."

As she spoke, her voice began picking up speed, building into an almost manic rush.

"I should have told you sooner. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I didn't know how to approach the subject. To be honest, I was afraid. I was afraid of how you'd react."

I scoffed and she paused to offer me a pathetic self-deprecating smile.

"I know, it was stupid," she said. "I valued my own comfort over honesty and I was dreadfully wrong. I got caught and my worst fear came true. I truly thought I had lost you."

She paused to take a ragged breath.

"Ella, I'm so sorry."

I was quiet for a long moment.

"I forgive you," I said finally and she sagged slightly with relief.

She sat and reached tentatively towards lunch but withdrew her hand nervously. Neither of us really knew how to address the other pressing topic. The silence stretched out awkwardly and I realized I needed to say something, anything, lest she get the wrong idea about my silence.

"I… um… I really enjoyed that poetry"

She flushed. "Ah…"

"You didn't need to expose yourself like that."

"I know, I just…" she sighed. "I thought a lot about it and I don't want to keep secrets from you. I thought… I thought you might understand and then I would finally have someone to share this with."

"I'm glad you trusted me," I replied. "I meant what I wrote, you do deserve happiness. I hope one day you can find someone who can give that to you."

Her eyes were shining and a corner of her mouth quirked up briefly, but she shook her head and averted her gaze.

"If only the world worked that way. This isn't a fairy tale or one of your romance adventures. There's no lady knight coming to rescue me and carry me away. That's just not how it works. There aren't happy endings for people like me."

"But why not?"

"It's just not possible," she said, her voice cracking. "You've seen how my family reviles people like me. And it's not just here, there are people like them everywhere. Besides, I don't know that I do deserve happiness. I've treated you horribly for years, there is nothing I can do to ever make up for that. I'm a terrible daughter and a terrible sister. Ella, I'm not a good person."

Inexplicably, I felt a protective urge come over me

"Ariane, listen to me. Yes, you hurt me, but you also found me when I was at my lowest and you chose to reach out. You chose to be better. You're still trying."

I reached out and took her hand in mine, shocking us both. After a moment, I gave it a gentle squeeze and pressed on.

"As for who you love, I have to believe that there's a place in this world for people like you, because maybe that means there's a place for people like me. I have to believe that things can be better, otherwise what's the point?"

She gaped at me.

"You… you really do believe all that, don't you?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but hesitated. Did I truly believe it? The words had tumbled out, almost on their own accord. At some point in the past few months I had begun allowing myself to hope again.

"I suppose I have to," I said finally.

She smiled thoughtfully at that.

As we shared our lunch in companionable silence, a thought occurred to me: the unspoken request that I had mulled over since I read her book of poetry.

"Um… speaking of… things," I began, softly, nervously. "Do you… have any novels with lady knights rescuing princesses? I mean… that is to say, I do enjoy those romances you stole from Florina. I just think, I don't know, maybe it'd be good to have some variety."

I spoke the words in a rush and I felt myself cringe slightly afterwards. Ariane narrowed her eyes at me and I felt my face warm under her scrutiny.

"Nothing quite as explicit as that," she said carefully. "But I may have some recommendations. The subtext is there if you know where to look."

She stood and limped over to one of the shelves. She tapped her fingers on the shelf as she considered the titles. Finally she gave a curt nod and plucked a volume. She handed it to me with a knowing smile, and I realized it was the very first one she had lent me: the adventure with the frivolous romance.

"This is-" I began.

"Just read it again," she said with a wink, "but pay closer attention this time."

I stared at the book and tried to dredge up what I remembered of the plot. Could there really have been something I missed?

My thoughts were interrupted by the chiming of the clock. Ariane let out a frustrated noise. Elisabetta and Florina were due back soon and would certainly be expecting dinner on the table.

Ariane and I simultaneously glanced at the pile of Victor's journals that had gone untouched.

"I want to read them," I told her. "Can you keep them safely hidden until next time?"

She arched an eyebrow. "Are you asking me if I can keep a secret from my family?"

 

---

 

It was another before we had the house to ourselves again. When I entered the room, the journals were carefully stacked on the tea table by the sofa. Ariane didn't say anything, just glanced at me and looked away quickly, busying herself with her studies.

I sat down and stared at the pile. I contemplated them for a moment, terrified of what I might discover inside. I began to feel a chill go down my spine, as if Victor's ghost would be reading over my shoulder.

Finally, I opened the volume on top and began to leaf through it. His thoughts were scattered and disorganized. I had expected anatomical diagrams and alchemical and galvanic equations that quickly went over my head, but scattered among them were manic, rambling screeds that simultaneously glorified the perfect designs of God and nature and bemoaned their inadequacies. He spoke of me, not as a person, but as a project, as an obsession.

The ghost of him was almost a tangible presence now, and I had to glance up to confirm that it was Ariane sitting at his desk and not him. She herself was staring at me, having abandoned any pretense of studiously ignoring me. Her forehead was creased with concern and I realized that I was trembling.

I set the journal down.

"What should I do with them?"

Ariane set down her pen and stood. She moved to sit next to me.

"It's up to you," she said, choosing her words carefully. "I’ve told you that I wanted to be a doctor, but I never told you it was because of him. When Ella and I got sick, he dedicated every ounce of his being to saving us. I’m alive today because of him. Ever since then I always wanted to follow in his footsteps. I suppose I still do, just not the same way.

"There is… a trove of information here. Some of his theories challenge everything we know about physiology. His methods were questionable at best, but he accomplished things that nobody else did."

She paused, considering.

"Can I show you something?" she asked.

I nodded.

She pulled up her skirt, revealing an elaborate leg brace. It was elegant and functional, unlike anything I had seen before.

"I made this. I made it using his notes and supplies from his lab. It redistributes the weight and makes walking so much easier. It helps me stay active longer without pain.

"The things he did, he could have helped so many people. I can't help but wonder what he might have done if he hadn't let grief and obsession consume him. The information in here could be used to help people in ways we can't even imagine. There may even be something in here that could have saved my sister."

She took another breath.

"Or… in the wrong hands, someone could make their own version of you… their own monster. My father had only the best intentions, but can you imagine what might have happened, what he could have created if he got something wrong?"

It was not a pleasant thought. I looked at my hands. I forgot sometimes, but my strength was inhuman. If I so desired, I could reach out right now, snap Ariane's neck like it was nothing. The realization hit me with a sickening lurch.

"Do you trust me?" I asked. "Do you trust my judgment?"

"Absolutely," she replied. "Unquestioningly."

"I want you to keep them," I told her. "Copy what you deem useful, salvage only the parts that you believe can help people and then… and then I want to burn them."