Going back to 1 day ago, Kate had gone to pick John up from the train station. Seeing her son after almost two years apart had stirred something in her soul, despite the turmoil it brought.
She almost did not recognize him if not for his iconic auburn hair and blue eyes. As John approached, Kate was struck by his imposing stature. Standing at 6 feet tall with wavy reddish-brown hair reminiscent of her own, he exuded an air of maturity beyond his years. His piercing blue eyes seemed to peer into her very soul, leaving others mesmerized in their gaze.
Despite his composure, there lingered a hint of youthful innocence in his demeanor. His facial features were soft, almost girl-like but gave one the feeling he would become sharp and domineering the moment he was pushed too far.
Waving awkwardly as he approached, John wore a simple black T-shirt and blue jeans that accentuated his athletic build. His deep voice resonated with warmth as he greeted her, “Hey stranger, how's it been?”
Stopping a short distance away, the man—her son, John—stood somewhat awkwardly, neither too close nor too far, as if unsure of the appropriate distance. In the end, he stayed where he was and left it for her to decide.
The moment she saw him, a maelstrom of emotions took hold of her—anger, sadness, guilt, love, happiness, relief, and uncertainty. Without hesitation, she rushed at him and pulled him into a tight embrace, her face nestled against his chest. She breathed in deeply, trembling as she wrapped her arms around his back.
A familiar scent enveloped her, offering a sense of comfort she desperately needed. "I missed you…" Her words were barely a whisper against his skin. He looked down at her, his own emotions swirling within him, but ultimately, he closed his eyes and returned the embrace, gently caressing her flowing hair.
"Yeah… I missed you too," his voice carried softly on the summer breeze. From a distance, they looked more like lovers than mother and son.
***
On the car ride home, no words were exchanged. John had offered to drive seeing his mother’s current disarray and Kate did not refuse, surprised to learn he could now drive. All that accompanied them was the sound of the running engine and the air conditioner.
Hands gripping tightly on the steering wheel, he was attentive to the current task while Kate sat comfortably beside him. Now and again he would turn his head to her and catch her stealing glances at him, each time this happened she’d turn back and face the road.
Kate felt so embarrassed once that she’d chide him somewhat clumsily telling him to keep his eyes on the road. To that, John would just snort, but still silently agree.
After what felt like an eternity they pulled up to the house. Kate got out and began unloading John’s luggage for him,
“Wait, stop Mom those are heavy. Leave it.” John got out while cautioning his mother. Still, though, Kate tried nonetheless but quickly realized that she couldn’t even make it budge.
Turning to him with wide eyes, Kate jokingly asked, “Why’s this so heavy? Do you have a body in there or something?”
“Just my workout stuff, mom.” John chuckled slightly. Kate was surprised and turned to him wide-eyed, now that she thought of it when she hugged him earlier his body was surprisingly hard.
She took a good look at him and realized that he had not only grown taller but his shoulders had grown broader, he also lost a lot of the weight he had in the past making his waist appear small in contrast to his broad shoulders.
“Why did you bring all of them?” Kate asked, he replied while closing the trunk, “They aren't all, just enough to keep me conditioned over the 2 or 3 weeks I'll be missing.”
“You’re only staying for three weeks?” Kate questioned with disbelief, anxiety, and hurt apparent in her voice. Without looking at her he said, “Not three, maybe two. It depends,” John picked up his luggage and began walking to the house, he paused and glanced at an area of the yard that looked upturned, just steering for a bit.
“Depends? On what?” Kate caught up and continued to probe him. John just turned and shook his head and continued walking, “Unlock your house please, Mom.” Already with keys in hand, she unlocked the door and opened it. "It’s not ‘my’ house, It’s ‘our’ house,” Kate corrected him, her voice tinged with frustration, to this John just snorted and waited for her to enter, but Kate wasn’t having it.
She folded her arms. Then, she tapped her foot against the floor. “What’s with the attitude, young man?” John just steered at her then steered at the open door, he wondered a bit if he should just push by her and make his way inside, but as indifferent as he was that was too much after all.
As John turned to look at Kate, who tried to appear threatening, he struggled to suppress a burst of laughter. The more he gazed at her, the harder it became to contain his amusement. His mother had never made him nervous, not back then and certainly not now.
After a moment, he raised a brow and replied, “What attitude?” Kate stared at him for a while, then let out a sigh and unfolded her arms. Without another word, she turned and entered the house, with John following behind, leaving his shoes at the entrance inside, he turned and closed the door, not forgetting to lock it.
Kate turned to him once more, her tone almost pleading as she asked, “What’s wrong, sweety? Why are you so snappy?” John remained silent, his gaze fixed on her. After a moment, he finally asked, “What happened out front?”
It took Kate a while to process his question, but eventually, a look of realization dawned on her face, and she smiled sadly.
Seeing this, John shook his head and headed upstairs to his old room, with Kate following closely behind. He opened the door and found that it was surprisingly clean but with a lot of his belongings missing and unfamiliar items scattered around. There was also an unfamiliar scent lingering in the air.
Turning to Kate with a puzzled look, John asked, “What’s up with this?” She looked at him sheepishly and replied with some hesitation, “James…moved your things to the basement and turned your room into a storage/hobby room.”
Surveying the room, John noticed exercise equipment strewn around, including dumbbells, ropes, kettlebells, and other items he didn't recognize. He also spotted a yoga mat and ball. John's expression remained indifferent as he processed the information. “Did you take up weight-lifting?” he asked, somewhat surprised, noticing the 5-pound dumbbells. He couldn't imagine James doing weightlifting, especially with such light weights.
Kate shook her head and explained, “No, those were James’s. The yoga mat and ball are mine. James didn’t stick to working out; he said it was exhausting and he had better things to do.” John gave a derisive snort at the thought of James struggling with 5-pound dumbbells.
Kate looked at him nervously, but he just turned and made his way back down the stairs. He headed straight for a door, the door to the basement. Kate followed, asking where he was going. "To my room," he replied curtly.
He opened the door and flipped on the light, making his way down into the windowless basement. What greeted him was a myriad of stuff, some of which threw him off and gave him a feeling of nostalgia. He quickly realized why—they were the belongings of his father, as well as himself.
Turning to Kate, who was just behind him, he clenched his jaw so hard it hurt but said nothing. Kate felt her stomach tie up in knots from anxiety and chose to retreat to the kitchen. She sat at the table and buried her face in her hands.
Meanwhile, John wasted no time and began to sort through things. He quickly realized that despite everything being down in the basement, they weren't neglected. While they weren't organized, they weren't dusty either, as if someone cleaned them daily. John began organizing everything and moving his father’s tools into a corner—they were quite heavy.
How did she even get these down here? Well, that guy probably helped her.
After he moved a basket of his Dad’s old clothes, something fell over—an old yet familiar book. It was Kate’s diary. He picked it up, remembering his many adventures with it. Often, he’d go through his mom’s diary as a child. He wondered why it was here but didn't care too much either. He opened it and began flipping through it, knowing most of its contents, so he didn't bother to go through most of it and just flipped to some of the more recent entries.
What surprised him was that there weren't too many recent entries. There were some right after he left, detailing how alone Kate felt and how much she missed John and the things James would do. John felt anger boiling over as he continued to read. In the end, he put it back on top of the pile of clothes and continued his cleaning.
John spent the entire day sorting through stuff and tidying the basement. Finally, it looked a bit spacious and inhabitable. Now that he was finished, he made his way back up the stairs and found his mother sitting in the kitchen, fast asleep.
Did she sense him? Kate was stirred awake, lifting her head, she stretched and said, “Sorry sweetie, I'll make something for us,” She wiped the drool from her mouth, attempting to get up. John just looked at her and said, “Nah, it's okay. It’s late; let's just order pizza or something.”
Despite his appearance, John wasn't too hung up on eating junk food; he’d just put in twice the effort later on to work it off.
“More importantly, we need to talk, Mom,” John said, breaking the silence. Kate rubbed her eyes and sat up straight, fully focused, she nodded. She said nothing but waited for him to speak. After a while, John opened his mouth with great effort and said, “I’m sorry for how I acted today.
It was beyond childish. I came here to support you but treated you like that the whole time. I'm really sorry, Mom.”
John clasped his hands on the wooden table, his thumbs twiddling nervously as he locked eyes with Kate, remorse etched across his features. Kate responded by gently wrapping her hands over his, a reassuring smile softening her expression.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. I understand why you acted the way you did,” she said, her voice gentle and soothing as she stroked John's hands. “It's the rose bed, right? I think James... that man... he was the one who did that. But it’s okay. I've prepped the ground to plant some new ones. We can do it together tomorrow.”
As Kate spoke, John felt a wave of gratitude and warmth wash over him. How long had it been since he last felt his mother's comforting presence? Moved by an impulse, Kate got up from her chair and approached John, enveloping him in a tender embrace. John wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling into her bosom, feeling the warmth and reassurance of her presence.
For a time, no words were exchanged, Kate caressed John's head in silence. In the end, it was John who had to break the embrace, staying like this for too long wasn't good for… Various reasons.
Feeling him pull away, Kate reluctantly let go, dissatisfaction apparent on her face. John just grinned shyly, “So then, what should we order, Mom?” He asked, trying to lighten the mood.
Kate thought for a bit then said, “Let’s just go with pizza after all,” She pulled out her phone to make the order but then turned to him and poked his chest, “Oh, but can you eat that, Mr. Hunk? You won't say it’s unhealthy or garbage?”
Her playful jab elicited a laugh from John, he just laughed and said that it’s ok once in a while. As they waited for the pizza to arrive, Kate looked at John with a pleading expression. “You're not really going to sleep down there, are you?” she asked, concern evident in her voice.
John hesitated for a moment, but seeing the earnest look on Kate's face, he relented with a sigh. “Okay, okay, I'll sleep in my room,” he agreed, eliciting a joyful grin from Kate.
When the pizza finally arrived, they enjoyed their meal together, engaging in lighthearted conversation. Despite Kate's attempts to appear cheerful, John could sense the underlying sadness in her. After all, her husband had passed away, though he was not a good man, considering Kate’s personality it must have weighed heavily on her heart.
John didn’t bring up matters of the past, deciding that he put her through enough today. Time flew by as they spoke and it was now time for bed, John got up and told Kate that it was time to sleep. Kate reluctantly agreed and they both retreated to their rooms.
Standing at the doorway of his room, John surveyed the clutter of dumbbells and exercise equipment strewn about, but he couldn't bring himself to tidy up. With a shrug, he entered the room and threw himself onto the neatly made bed that his mother had prepared for him.
The familiar comfort of his bed enveloped him, and soon, John found himself drifting off to sleep, the events of the day fading into the background as he succumbed to the embrace of slumber.
***
Meanwhile, As Kate sat on the edge of her bed, bathed in the soft glow of the bedside lamp, she found herself lost in deep thought. She had tried her best to uplift the mood but she had sensed John's desire to address certain topics. Despite this, he had not asked, leaving her feeling a mix of gratitude towards him and disappointment in herself.
“...” She could make a few guesses, but she wasn't brave enough, she was afraid that bringing up things from the past would further drive a wedge between them.
Why am I like this? Frustration knitted her brows as she reached to turn off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness. She slipped beneath the covers, her heart heavy with the day's emotional toll. Despite her inner turmoil, exhaustion quickly overtook her, pulling her into the embrace of sleep.
***
Kate stood in a daze as she recollected all the events of the other day. Watching John clean up the broken glass she suddenly turned and headed for the living room, sitting and burying her face in her hands.
She was not deserving of John’s kindness, she had tried to help all day but got in the way.
It was better when he gave me the cold shoulder. She couldn't help but think about this. At least if he had she wouldn’t have felt so guilty. She couldn't stop her thoughts from spiraling down a dark path of self-pity and guilt as she recalled the past and how she had let her son be mistreated.
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