216 Church Street, New-Heaven, that’s the address Nymph gave me. For a while I thought about not goin, there’s no way she could be serious, right? Like really me, in a band, in that band, my favorite band? I still felt like I was dreamin. Candice, however, would not take no for an answer. He packed my bass guitar up in his car, and told me, “Get in bitch!” So I guess I had no choice.

Grow a spine girl! I kept tellin myself, This is an amazin opportunity! Oh, maybe it’s too amazin, maybe she was just teasin me? Honestly I really did expect to show up and it be some rehab meetin for junkies or somethin, wouldn’t be the first time I had been tricked like that. 

Like a baby back bitch I slumped into the car, huffin and puffin all the way there. New-Heaven was a good twenty minute drive from Copper City and the traffic in Conn-state always sucked. Too many people commutin to Nu-yorksire cloggin up the freeway. So luckily for me that meant I had a good long time to get myself psyched for an audition I didn’t even believe was happenin. What if it was real though? Like  I know it's unlikely, but what if? My optimism and realist natures clashed with each other, a war of ideologies that ended up in a stalemate. A conflict of hope and pragmatism with no clear victor. I wrestled with ideas; if it was real, what would I play for them? Their own songs, right? No that’s stupid, I could never play those as good as Athena did. Well what about something original? No no no no, they won’t want to hear my original music. Why even bother worryin, they aren’t going to be there when you arrive. My inner turmoil went on like that for a good half an hour, till we began pullin up into the city. 

New-Heaven was a mixed bag of premodern and straight up old industrial garbage, ironic given the name. The streets were either perfectly pristine, or cracked like my knuckles in the cold winter months. Beautiful gothic architecture was squished between borin corporate buildings, makin an almost pattern as you drove past them on the street. Old, new, old, new, old old old, new, new new, and so on… Not havin a car of my own, and only workin a crappy retail job, I didn’t have much reason to come to the city. It was kinda cool seein it for the first time in years. I began wonderin if I'd be makin this commute more assumin I actually joined the band. If I did, would I get around and see the city? Finally break outta the cocoon I weaved myself in that stuffy little aoartment. Nah, Marsha's of Copper City was where I spent almost all of my time that I wasn't hiding away like a hermit. Though, it wasn't always that way. Before I began my transition, I’d occasionally get out with friends, but those friends are now all long gone… that's okay though, I made some new friends online and even started a fun and fulfillin hobby, albeit one I kinda gave up on when the girl who inspired me just disappeared. 

“Here it is 216 Church street,” Candice announced as we pulled up into what looked like an old Shepherd church. 

Oh shit, it is an AA meetin isn’t it? Reluctantly, and with a lil more of a tantrum than I'd like to admit, I allowed Candice to pull me out of the passenger seat. He shoved my bass in my hands, a little more carelessly than I would have liked, and said “call me when you’re done.” 

“Where the hell are you goin?” I was a bit perturbed. 

“I don’t know, probably get some ice cream at the B and J’s. Or percs, whichever I come across first.” Bastard was abandonin me, he had better get me ice cream!

He got back in his car, and peeled out of the driveway faster than I could call out to him, officially leavin me to fend for myself. Well, there was no use just standin there, might as well go in and see if it was all an elaborate prank. I walked in the church’s main doors, which were not locked, and wandered the halls, half expectin some celebrity to jump out with a camera crew and tell me I’ve been “Duped!” Enterin the sanctuary I took a look around. Altar, pews, lectern, yep this was a church alright. But Wait… then I noticed somethin weird. The Shepherd's Crux was upside down, with the words “In Bad Faith” written across it. That was PoTA’s third album cover! Which means, that was the very abandoned church where they shot the music video. Was this not a prank afterall? How did I not recognise that address!

“Connasse! what the hell are you doing trespassing like that?” A cold hard voice caught me by surprise. Spinnin around on my heels, I saw the guitarist, Siren, standin on the threshold, a beer in one hand, and in the other she had what looked like a… a ridin crop? Yeah, a ridin crop… I didn't even wanna ask why.

“I’m just… you see, Nymph…”

“Oh, no I’m just joking with you,” She cracked up in hysterical laughter, “your face went so white! What, did you think I was going to beat you with this?”

“Um, I don’t...I don’t know?” I read the biographies of each of the band members, Siren in particular was one of my favorite members. Monique Chanteuse was her real name, and her accent was as strongly foreign as that name was. She had a pension for mischief, though it wasn’t that she was very good at it, rather she just loved horsin around… no pun intended. Outside of PoTA she’s an ex-Shepherdess who set up a non-profit to help victims of religious shunnin and abuse.

“Come on, mon ami, Nymph told us you were coming. We’re set up in the back.” She waved her ridin crop and led me deeper into the abandoned worship hall. We walked down a wide, dimly lit hallway, and she prattled off information about the place, though all things I already knew. The building had formerly belonged to a notorious hate church, a big blight on our little state. They were not quite Terror group levels, but they were still really bad. Bad enough, that they got shut down by the local government, though the specifics were never shared with the public. After that, Athena swooped in and bought the buildin in a public auction. Originally intendin to demolish it, it instead became a sort of second home to the band. The sanctuary was trashed, that was all part of a music video, but other than that the building was well maintained. 

We reached the end of the hall, after some twists and turns, and found ourselves in what I could only imagine was once a sunday school classroom. There Gryphon was, sittin at her drumset, the sound of her percussion nicely dampened by the soundproofing in the room. The moment Siren opened the door, however, the drummin flooded my ears.

“Gryph! Step it down love, the new tryout’s here.” she yelled over the clamor. 

“Hey, so you’re the girl Nymph has been yappin’ about? I'm Gryphon~” Gryphon introduced herself, although I had already known all about her. Rashida Grifin, formerly a part of an oppressive cult herself. Now she was a black rights activist, and the closest thing to another transgender member, bein genderfluid herself, though she didn’t typically use the trans label for personal reasons. “So tell me girl, did Nymph harass you into doing this?”

“Huh, no… I mean not exactly,” I stuttered, holdin my arms behind my back shyly. 

“Oh lord, what did she do this time?” Gryphon rolled her eyes. 

“We uh, sung a duet together… Her request,” I answered, “It was, it was fine.” 

“Oh, doesn’t sound like you’re all too happy. She get too handsy with you?” She raised an eyebrow, “I will kick her ass, just let me know.”

“Oh no, that won’t be necessary,” I waved my hands frantically. 

“Kick who’s ass?” Nymph entered the room from behind us, “Oh shit I forgot you were coming!” She was a disheveled mess, though to be completely honest, it was kinda hot. Her white oversized tee-shirt was stained with booze and the goddess knows what else. Her hair was a tangled nest on her head, takin the term bedhead to the extreme. Her eyes were a bit glazed over, and she reeked of cheap whiskey. Oh... my taste may not be normal...

“Damn it Nymph, did you just get here?” Gryphon sounded angry, yet not surprised.

“No moooom, I’ve been here all night!” She rolled her eyes, “Oh shit, I should probably of gave her back her shirt before she left…” she mumbled, givin her shirt a quick sniff, “oh maybe I should wash it first?”

“You get your ass in gear, this girl here’s got an audition that you set up!” the irate drummer ordered the delinquent singer. 

“Yeah, yeah… I’ll get dressed real quick,” she groaned, scratchin herself as she left. Seein Nymph in that state eased my tension… just a little. 

“Sorry about that, hun,” Gryphon sighed. “She’s a real handful.”

“You get used to it,” Siren added, “though I’ll warn you now, it gets worse.” 

Hahaha, great, I might be joining a dysfunctional family! Ah who am I kidding, I longed to be in that family. 

After a bit of small talk and some coffee with the two girls, Nymph emerged back into the room, this time fully dressed and lookin well, incredibly hot. This woman lived and breathed punk, it’s like she refused to wear clothes that weren’t either skin tight, torn, and evokin some kind of childhood fantasy. Perhaps in tribute to our little duet, she wore form fittin white top, with black checkered trim and a big cross cut out the center to show off a significant amount of skin. She also wore a short pencil skirt with a slit that went up the side all the way to the belted band around her waist. The outfit was clearly made to resemble a nun's habit  

“Hey you gonna keep gawking, or start rocking?” She asked, a rhyme so cheesy it made my stomach turn. Or maybe that was just my nerves comin back to kick my ass again. 

     “Alright, I’ll just set up here I guess?” I walked over to an amp, and plugged my bass in, producin feedback so loud it was like it was yellin ‘not like that dumb ass!’ at me.

“Goddamn, girl, no one ever tell you not to plug into a live amp?” Gryphon scolded me while coverin her ears.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” I bowed my head several times apologizin profusely.

“Okay, geeze, calm down. Everyone makes mistakes.” Nymph adjusted the volume dial on my amp, and looked me in the eyes, “so, you ready to knock us dead with your performance?”

I stared blankly, mesmerized by the emerald glow of her eyes, nodding as I gulped down the frog in my throat. Gettin myself together I managed to say, “Yee… ahem…  yeah, I’ll do that now.”

She chuckled, took a seat in a metal folding chair, and leaned over to watch me, intently. “Ready when you are princess.”

“Right!” My brain fumbled for a second there, frantically tryin to figure out what to play. Oh damn, oh shit, I should have put more thought into this. What songs are you best at? I can’t remember! My last two brain cells shouted at each other. Okay, 'Glory, glory gloryhole!' I’ll play that one! Resolute in my choice, I played out the melody, and I played it damn good! I’d say it was perfect even. I finished the song, and looked at my audience of three. Their expressions weren’t very promisin, disheartenin even. 

“That it?” Siren asked.

“Oh, should I play more?”

“Yeah go on girl, we’re listening.” Gryphon encouraged me.

“Oh, okay… how about this one.” I began to play another one of their most popular songs. ‘Saved by Disgrace’, and it was probably one of the more complex ones to play. Surely they’d have to be impressed by my performance this time. I played the whole song, even the tricky parts, and ended the song feelin a bit out of breath, despite havin not sung a single word. 

“Alright, not bad, not bad,” Gryphon nodded, her expression lookin more pleased than before. Oh thank goddess, I thought.

“You sing too, correct?” Siren asked me. 

“Oh yeah, I sang with Nymph,” I reminded them.

“Yes, but what about write? Give us something original, something that is completely you,” the drummer requested.

 "Alright, an original song… well… I did write one about growin up transgender… you probably don't want to hear that though," there's no way I could share my silly little song with them…

"What are you kidding? What's more punk than saying 'fuck my birth gender'?" Siren joked.

"Seriously girl, let us hear it," Gryphon egged me on.

"You aren't getting in the band if you can't write, so might as well prove you can," Nymph reiterated.

"Alright, it's a work in progress, so please don't laugh," I cleared my throat, and started strumming on my bass.

"Little Izzy what's that in the mirror? Mother came in but you didn't hear her. 

You were caught in a compromisin scene. Lipstick, sisters dress, how obscene. 

Time for therapy and straight conversion, theyre gonna pray away your perversion. 

All cause the good book told them so, you were made perfect didn't you know? 

They say we were made di-vi-iii-ine, well I say fuck intelligent design! 

I know who I was meant to be, I'm not the person you think you see. 

They call it a perversion, I call it emergence.

This life is miiiine, I was made by unintelligent design!

Desiiiign, Design

I was made by unintelligent design." 

I continued strummin off a couple chords, hummin the tune, before stoppin. "So yeah, that's all I got for now."

They stared, their pretty eyes passin judgment that bore deep down into my nonexistent soul. My body melted under the heat of their gaze. Oh goddess I messed up!

"Fuck yeah, I love it!" Gryphon finally cracked, "you got some real passion girl."

"Wait, really?"

"Yes, really," Siren agreed.

"I don't know… you're kinda a nervous mess. A real pushover even," Nymph said and my heart dropped into my stomach. 

"What, seriously Nymph?"

“C'est que ce bordel? ” The other two protested.

"Yeah, I'm serious. Punk ain't just slappin on a school girl skirt and ripped tights. It's not an aesthetic. It ain't just yelling out profanity about hating your father. Take that shit to an emo band. No, punk is biting the hand that feeds you. Putting the rich racist ass holes that run this awful little world in their place. You can't do that and you're worthless to us," my poor little heart was reduced to torn up scraps of confetti at that point. "Besides, why would we want another tranny in our band?"

I balled my fist and clenched my jaw. No, no, you do not get to say that! Not after what you put me through to get me here. Hell fucking no! I stomped right up to her, and shouted right in her smug face, "Don't call me a fuckin tranny you condescending, egotistical, nymphomaniac bitch!" I was blind with rage, but not too blind to see the wide, cheshire cat, shit eatin, self satisfied grin spread across her unperturbed face.

"Okay yeah, that's what I'm talking about." She said with a tinge of admiration, "that's the rage I'm looking for, girl!"

“Huh, What?”

She patted me on the head before standin up to leave, “congrats, you’re in.”

“What?”

Siren slapped me on the back while lost in a hysterical fit of laughter, “the look on your face was priceless, oh mon Dieu, she had you going there,” she calmed down just enough to congratulate me, “C’est parti! I’m sure it’ll be a pleasure having you here.”

“Huh?”

“For the record, this was all on Nymph, I had nothing to do with this,” Gryphon raised her hands and shook her head, “she insisted tho so my hands were tied, but happy to have you in the band.”

“What’s goin on?”