Woke up earlier with an awful migraine, the kind that makes you not want to move a single muscle in your body. Put on my uniform and tried to go to work, but Elster, bless her heart, saw what a sorry state I was in and insisted I get more rest. We argued a little bit, she does so much for me and for the ship, sometimes I wonder if I even need to be here, but then Elster smiled and brushed her hand against my cheek before giving me the most adorable little kiss on my forehead, and I remembered why, she needs me just as much as I need her. She sat me down on my bed and left briefly, came back with one of the mess hall trays loaded with a toaster pastry, a glass of water, two aspirin, and a risperidone to help me sleep. She said ‘First you eat, then you rest up and get better.’

I love this woman.

Changed back into my nightgown right in front of her. She’s already seen me naked enough times at this point that taboo is long gone, plus it’s super adorable how she tries to both look and not look at the same time. She also doesn’t seem to mind that I stopped shaving my body ages ago, it was just getting to be too much of a hassle, and used too much water. I just worry about my face now, that’s the one place I’ll never be okay with having hair on. Elster understands me so well in that regard, like when she told me about developing certain awkward feelings related to ‘missing’ parts of her body she remembered having from her Gestalt memories.

She said it was about not having feet, but, I think she was actually concerned about missing ‘something else.’

But, I won’t push her. If she wants to talk about it, I trust her to bring it up to me.

She tucked me into bed like she’s grown so fond of doing. I was already feeling guilty over missing my duties yet again, so I asked her to just stay a while. At first, Elster pulled up a chair and held my hand next to my bed, but then, and without asking, she climbed into bed behind me and held me until I fell asleep. It was the best sleep I’d had in many cycles. I think I will try and ask her to come sleep with me more often, I know she wants to, and I know she doesn’t need to be in her pod every night.

I want to do something special for her.