Cycle 870

Today, I decided to dig deeper through my bags of personal items.

I know! I’m years into this mission, and I still haven’t fully unpacked all of my bags! I just lost my damn pair of nail clippers and knew I had one in my old makeup bag.

But when I found it, I got to thinking.

I’m not entirely sure why I brought this with me, I knew there was going to be only one other person on this voyage, a Replika, even, so why would I need to bother with such time-wasting girly things like hair styling, shaving, and makeup?

At the time, my thought process was just, ‘Well, a girl’s gotta feel good about herself,’ but that’s why I tried to bring other things aboard the Penrose… things which unfortunately got confiscated, but I’ve been able to improvise with some things I’ve found around the ship.

But now, right after I’ve put on my eyeliner again for the first time in years, I’m truly glad I have it with me.

Cause Elster did a double-take when she saw me with it.

Oh, she can try to pass it off as just surprise, or ‘not recognizing me’ or whatever excuse she has, but I know what that exact reaction and look she had was. I’ve seen it before, I’ve done it myself before, there’s no denying it.

She thinks I’m pretty!

My heart does a little sing just thinking about it. My own precious Replika engineer Elster thinks I’m pretty, it was all over her face. I don’t know if Replika can blush, but I can guarantee she must have felt as though she was blushing.

In hindsight, I can’t believe I ever felt bad about being assigned her on this mission.

I don’t know what I’d do without Elster. She’s easy to talk to, she has a cute laugh, she takes care of me when I hurt myself or when I’m not feeling well, she doesn’t demean me, or try to control me, she’s genuinely interested in me as a person, as a woman, and seems happy to be a part of my life.

She’s become special to me, in a way. I feel like I could talk to her about anything, and I feel more at ease just when she’s in the room with me.

I don’t know how else to describe it but I just feel safe around her. I feel like I can be myself in every way I am and she’ll like me more for it.

I hope she feels the same way.

You’re such a good friend, Elster, I want to be a good friend to you as well.

Cycle 871

Oh my Goddess.

I’m in love with her.

I’m in love with Elster.