Chapter 29: Psyche Ward, Day #1

I was not taken to a police station. This was strange to me. I was dragged through a tiny door in an area with no signage. I figured I was being trafficked or something. I let it happen. I was stripped down naked in a room with three men, told to turn around, touch my toes and cough. I cursed at them but obeyed. I did not want to get raped. They sprayed me down and gave me a robe.

I was led to a wide-open room. The building was huge. I looked around at the other patients that wore the same robes. They curiously spectated as I got pushed into a tiny room that reminded me of a solitary confinement cell. A toilet and bed, that's it. It had a little square window so I could at least see people in the main room.

As the comedown hit me, I became angry and volatile. I cursed my father and Stormy for setting me up. How could they do this to me? Where the fuck am I? Why am I locked in here while those other patients get to wander in the main room? I didn't want to make any friends. In fact, I began to hate everyone I saw. I wanted to scream and shout, but I somehow refrained and chose to suffer in silence.

The detox was killing me. The same fly that bothered me at Gordo's house had followed me here, wiggled through a hole in the wall and was terrorizing me. It had grown fatter, so fat that I could see the grid of its eyes. It spit out a maggot on the floor that started to vocalize in an eerie language I did not understand. I screamed and screamed but nobody came for me.

An old lady sat at the table across from me while I sat in a chair, my hands zip-tied as a guard hovered over my shoulder. The lady looked at my file then smiled at me. "Good evening, Mr. Katz. How are you feeling?"

I shook my head. My eyes felt like boulders. My right eye was leaking tears, despite my angry expression. I didn't understand why my body was doing this. I clenched my teeth as the lady asked me a series of questions.

"When was the last time you used? How long have you been awake? Where do you work?"

My original strategy was to keep silent. The lady explained to me that the best way for me to get out of this place was to cooperate. Fuck that, I thought at first. But she was right. I should play the game. I didn't want to stay here… But I could not focus on that. Just one more hit, just one more hit… Maybe there were a few particles in my pockets? Maybe they'll let me have my original clothes? Maybe…

They released me into the main room. It was one large open room with nurses watching from every corner. The other patients were sitting on couches in the center. Some patients wandered aimlessly. A few were staring at the walls like they were in timeout. I was tired, angry, upset, so I kept my head down and went back to the solitary confinement room.

I boiled in my anger, my bones shaking for some dope. An alarm rang in my ears. I looked out the window and saw nurses breaking up a fight. Some patients were on the ground in a fetal position, but they were far away from the scrambling of bodies. I sat back down on the bed. I was soaking the sheets with sweat and I felt like I might have a heart attack. My soul felt like it was in prison and the key was another hit of jib.

I had the idea that there was still some g funk left in my lungs, so I held my breath for a few seconds. I got dizzy and decided it was pointless. The nurses finally found me and forcibly injected me with a serum that made me pass out. When I woke up, the whole world was spinning. I threw up on the ground and laid back down, groaning in pain.

I woke up again and tasted blood. I spit chunks of flesh onto the bed sheet. The nurses came in and injected me once again as I mumbled something before drifting off to dreamland.

They transferred me to another hospital. I had to be carried on a stretcher while tied down. At this second hospital I was given back my clothes and shoes but my laces and belt were gone. They gave me zip ties as a replacement. I was shown my living quarters, but I do not remember much of this part. I laid my head in bed and drifted off to sleep to avoid the pain. I heard demonic whispers constantly, but I was so tired that I tuned them out…

For a week I was routinely woken up, injected and went back to sleep. I do not remember eating or using the bathroom. Only sleep, injections, sleep, injections… I awoke one night to a dark room with a line of light from the open door. In the corner of the room I saw a pair of white eyes and the outline of a shadow person. I shut my eyes…

I realized I had two roommates but we did not speak. I wondered how long they had been watching me sleep for. Did they witness the forced injections? My crying in the night? My mumbling? My constant groaning? I tried to stand but my body felt like a bag of bricks.

I wobbled outside my door and saw the nurses office with its glass panels, the long hallway, the floors and walls completely white, the color of death. I was escorted to the bathroom. I didn't think I needed to go, but somehow the nurses knew. My piss was a putrid brown. I was taken back to my bed and expected another injection. None came. I went back to sleep.

I was woken up to a flashlight in my eyes and a gaggle of nurses above me.

"It's time for your medicine, Mr. Katz."

I offered my arm, but this time they gave me pills and a cup of water. I took the pills, swallowed, then a nurse stuck her latex hands into my mouth to inspect. All clear. They left me alone and I drifted to sleep. This happened a few more times.