I watched as the city disappeared into the horizon. The glowing lights of the buildings illuminated the sky as if it were daytime, even though the sun had set over an hour ago. Dad was driving a little fast, as if in a hurry to get outside of the city as soon as possible. Like the buildings were going to collapse on top of us. He lived in the city, so I had no idea where we were going.
“Why did we leave Mr. Terrell behind?” I asked.
When Dad first showed up, Mr. Terrell introduced himself and took him off to the side to have a chat. I couldn’t see his face, but I watched as Dad’s face whitened with shock, and then turned to annoyance. I didn’t see it often, but when he was annoyed, his nose would start to twitch every so often. He would start tapping his foot impatiently. When they were done with the conversation, Dad said that we were leaving.
“Here, take this,” Mr. Terrell had said as he gave me a small stone carving in the shape of a lion. Or at least the body was shaped like a lion. The head was that of an eagle, and it had wings. I knew that I had seen something like this before in textbooks, but the name was alluding me at the moment. I asked him why he was giving this to me.
“You’ll understand soon enough.”
I was waiting for my Dad to answer the question, but he didn’t seem to be in the mood to talk. I instead focused my attention on the road. It was quickly turning from suburbs to rural, and then to forest as the signs of civilization crept into the background, fading away into obscurity.
It was hard to stand the silence. I didn’t really understand where we were going, or why Dad was so quiet. He was never like this unless something was seriously wrong.
“Dad, I —”
“Al,” he interrupted. He always called me Al, but for some reason the tone in his voice was different. He wasn’t angry, but he seemed distraught. I wondered what he talked with Mr. Terrell about. “Please, just wait until we get there.”
“Where are we going?” I asked. There was a brief pause before he answered.
“To the cabin.”
The cabin? Why were we going there? Dad was talking about this little cabin in the middle of nowhere up North. Maine, I think. It was originally owned by my mom, but when she disappeared, Dad started taking care of it. It sat on the edge of a cliff looking over a nice lake. We would go there every summer to enjoy a long weekend together. A break from my troubles in school and his busy work schedule. I almost felt relief that we were heading there, but from the look on Dad’s face, we weren’t going so that he could let me take a sip of his beer on the patio overlooking the sunset.
***
I drifted off to sleep for a bit, knowing that we had at least six or seven hours of driving before we would get to the cabin. I had a dream.
I dreamt that I was in a forest. The trees around me were tall, towering over me by at least fifty feet or so. The canopy was thick, barely letting any light through. I could just make out the whispers of starlight and the moon peeking through. The ground was damp as if it had only just rained. Moss was spreading all over the bed of the forest, and the smell of fresh dew hit my nose. Something about it all felt otherworldly; like a mystical fog was rolling through the canopy. It was relaxing, at least until I heard the brush move to my left.
A person came sprinting out from behind a tree, right in my direction. I backed up instinctively, too frozen in shock to dodge out of the way. They were coming at me fast, and about to knock straight into me, before they passed right through. As if I were a ghost. I could just barely make out their features. It was a woman with silvery gray hair that almost shined like metal in the moonlight. It was long, going down to the small of her back, but it was messy. There were twigs sticking out as if she had just been rolling around in the forest. Her face was soft and pale as a look of terror was strewn across it. There was something else. Her eyes; they were a bright green and they looked familiar. I knew this person. I couldn’t tell you where from, but I knew them.
She disappeared behind a tree, continuing to run, as I heard voices from the direction she came. They were shouting, and I could hear something that sounded like a mix of a dog barking and a snake hissing. I turned and followed in the direction she ran. I figured it was safer than encountering whatever thing made that noise. Even if they couldn’t see me, I didn’t want to take the risk.
It took me a bit to find her, but eventually I settled up next to her behind a large rock. I looked just beyond the tree line in the direction we were headed and gasped. It was as if I had been transported into a fantasy world. A circle of mountains surrounded a large basin of land. You could see rivers flowing down the mountains past lush greens to a large lake in the center. Standing next to the lake was a tall hill, on top of which was a castle. It looked Gothic, with three tall spires that soared into the sky, and a final one near the center that seemed to go up even beyond the clouds. A road spiraled around the hill down to it’s base, where there was a town. There were lights all over of many colors. It looked as if there was a festival going on. Where was I?
The woman was breathing heavily as she looked around, checking for anybody following her. She hadn’t noticed me standing right next to her; she looked right through me. She held out her right hand, and I noticed a strange-looking tattoo all across her forearm. There was an intricate design of what looked like old Greek or Nordic runes starting at her elbow and making its way towards her wrist, ending in a solid black line. There didn’t seem to be rhyme or reason to the pattern, but as she held her hand out the tattoo started to glow a burnt orange color.
“Caylin, it’s me. I don’t think I’m going to make it back in time for the ship. Just go without me. I’ll figure it out.”
There was a brief pause. I watched as her face, illuminated by the moonlight, was scrunched up. As if trying not to cry.
“Tell Alexandra…that I’ll see her soon.”
“Mom?”
I blurted it out without thinking, but there was a sudden realization as the word left my lips. The silver hair, the green eyes. I knew her because I remembered her face. How could I have forgotten it? I could vividly see my mom’s face looking down at me as she held me in her arms. The smile on her face was beautiful and bright, but now it was dark and scared. My mom was right in front of me, and she had heard me.
Her face, now in shock, turned directly towards me. She wasn’t staring through me anymore. She was looking into my eyes.
“Alexandra?”
***
I awoke with a start as Dad was shaking my shoulders.
“Hey, Al, we’re here.”
I could feel a tear running down my cheek. What had I just been dreaming of? I sat up, wiping the tear away, and took in the familiar surroundings. We were at the end of a small dirt road, surrounded by trees. The cabin was a five or so minute walk from the road, and the paths were too narrow to take the car.
“You okay?” my Dad asked, getting in close and wiping away another tear that was falling down my other cheek. I shooed his hands away.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just…had a weird dream.”
“Come on, it’s late. We should get up there.”
I got out of the car with the backpack that my Dad had prepared for me. I was afraid to look inside and see what combination of clothes he had picked out for me. Probably my old clothes that I didn’t wear anymore, as that’s all he would have found in the closet, but I guess it was better than having nothing. I assumed he wanted to stay for a couple days, cause he also had a bag with provisions and food.
The moon was high in the sky as we walked up the path towards the cabin. Crickets were chirping as the wind blew through, rustling the trees. I really wished that we were just going to relax at the cabin after all that happened in the museum, but my heart knew otherwise.
When we finally arrived at the clearing, I could see the cabin standing atop the hill at the edge of the small cliff. There was a bonfire pit in front of the porch where we would make s’mores and grill fish on the days when we would actually catch something. There were four chairs, all of different varieties. That was our thing, making sure that when we had multiples of something, they were all different in some way. I could make out the silhouette of my chair. I could feel the cushion and the sensation of running my hand over the wood. I would rock back and forth and sometimes feel under the left armrest where there was a screw sticking out. I got tetanus once from that, but it was still a nice memory.
The cabin itself was small, technically a single-story building, but there was enough space with the tapered roof that we made a small loft up there. You weren’t able to fully stand, but it was a great spot for me to climb up in and read as a kid. There was a no technology rule at the cabin, so reading was my favorite pastime while here. I couldn’t even remember how many hours I spent up there, lying next to my Dad while we read and talked.
The inside wasn’t very glamorous either. The entrance led directly into the small living area. There was a couch, love-seat, fire pit, and a small coffee table with board games stacked on top. There was a small kitchen separated by a bar. A stove, sink, and two cabinets were all that made up the kitchen. Instead of a fridge, there was a freezer chest out back that was solar-powered. Above the kitchen, I could see the loft. There were still blankets and a bean bag up there from last time. Another room was to the left, housing the single bedroom and bathroom. I often slept up in the loft cause when the fire pit was going the heat would rise up and keep me warm. Plus, there was a window up top that had an amazing view of the lake at night.
Dad put his stuff down in the bedroom while I let my bag down on the couch, sitting in the love seat, as Dad unpacked and got a fire going to keep things warm. Even though it was nearing the summer, the winds blowing from the lake kept the air around the cabin cool at night. When everything was settled, I mustered the courage to ask.
“Why did we come here?”
“Let me make us some hot chocolate,” he said, trying to ignore the question and change the topic. “We can also get some s’mores go —”
“Dad, please.”
I stared at him, and I could see the worry on his face. He couldn’t hide it from me, but I was scared. I needed to know.
“I need you to talk to me. I don’t want s’mores, I don’t want hot chocolate, I don’t even want to go to sleep right now. I want my Dad.”
I guess finally being in a familiar place allowed me to relax a little because it all just came pouring out. I told him everything. From the odd things that always happened when I was a kid, to Harmony Hills being such a horrible school, to Mr. Terrell being one of the only good things I had going, to the field trip. I exclaimed about the museum. The way everything went down. The things I saw. The fact that I exploded and what Mr. Terrell had told me about magic. I didn’t know if he was listening. He was looking at me intently, but I didn’t know what he was hearing. It didn’t matter. I had to let it all out. I didn’t normally break down like this. I was always the cool and collected one, but I think after everything that happened I deserved a chance to let go.
When I was done I was breathing heavily, but it felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had tried to tell him about these things previously, but it was always pushed off. Those things didn’t happen. They didn’t exist. But here he was, listening intently. Part of me wished that he could understand what I was saying. That the Veil wouldn’t affect him for once. It took a moment before he spoke.
“When I first met your mother…” he started. He hadn’t heard any of it. “…It was love at first sight. I know that it’s a cliché, but it’s the truth. We were on a trans-Atlantic cruise heading back towards the States.” He chuckled a bit, grabbing a pillow from the couch and fidgeting with it, running his hands through the frills. He was blushing.
“I was actually there with my girlfriend at the time. I know, I know, how could I fall for someone else when I was on a cruise with her? I felt horrible about it. Still do. But I couldn’t help it.” He looked off into the distance, as if seeing it again for the first time.
“I was walking down some stairs with drinks in hand, bringing them from the upstairs bar, when I tripped. I was about to go tumbling, but your mother caught me.”
I had never heard this story before. Dad rarely ever talked about Mom. As much as I didn’t want to, I couldn’t help but listen intently.
“One of the drinks went flying, and she caught that too. Not a single drop spilled. She looked down at me, dipped down in her other arm, and said, ‘Aren’t I supposed to be in your arms?’. I could only stare at her. The way her hair gleamed in the moonlight. Her eyes; they were almost glowing. How could a man not fall in love?”
He had stood up and walked towards the mantle, grabbing a picture frame off of it. I could just barely make out two figures standing together, posing for the photo. I had been here dozens of times, yet somehow I never noticed the photo until now.
“We dated for a couple of years…” he continued “…before I got the courage to ask her to marry me. I had it all planned out. A dinner on the pier, a nice romantic walk on the beach, and wine on the sea. That was until I slipped and fell overboard.” I couldn’t help but chuckle a little. That definitely sounded like something he would do.
“She didn’t even hesitate. She dived in to get me. We were both soaked in the middle of the night on a boat. I was so distraught about losing the ring, but she just smiled at me. She reached into her bag and brought out a different ring. Of course she would be the one to propose.” He set the picture back on the mantle and walked back over to the couch, sitting down and looking directly at me.
“But before we could get married, she had to confide in me. She had to tell me the truth.”
I knew what he was going to say. At this point, there was only one thing he COULD say. Some part of me didn’t want it. I wanted this to stop. I suddenly wanted s’mores and hot chocolate. To sleep in the loft and look out on the lake. I didn’t want it to be real.
“She told me about magic.”
***
Ya know…realizing that your Dad has been keeping a huge secret from you, about you, for your entire life can be a little hard to handle, but I think I took it with grace. As long as grace comes with a lot of confusion and yelling…
“Why?”, I asked. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I was more in shock than angry at the moment, but I was only a few short sentences away from a total meltdown.
“Was it Mom? Did she force you to hide it from —”
“No, Al,” he said. His voice was soft. He was being kind by tiptoeing around me, but it only made me more upset, “It was me. When your Mom disappeared, I —”
“You what? Decided that It was for my own safety? That I would be better off not knowing about it?” I was getting heated up. I was raising my voice. I felt angry, but most of all I felt betrayed.
“Is that why I’ve never been able to remember Mom until now? Because you erased it? Did you think It would make me feel better?”
He was about to speak, but I cut him off.
“No, you don’t get to say anything right now, I’m the one whose life just got destroyed.” I tried to talk myself down, to hold my tongue, but it wasn’t working.
“You of ALL people should know how horrible my life has been. I have been seeing things that I couldn’t explain for my entire life, and here I learn that you KNEW about all of it? That you IGNORED it! All those therapists, the school counselors, you sent me to all of them for ‘help’, but you KNEW. Were they in on it too? Were they the ones keeping my Veil intact? Making sure I didn’t realize anything?”
I waited for a response, but all Dad did was lower his head. It was enough; I had the answer. I could feel the tears starting to run down my face.
“All I wanted was a normal life. A life with you. But you kept sending me away. You kept me at arm’s length. And now I know why. You were scared of me. I reminded you too much of Mom, didn’t I…”
“Alex, no. It’s not like that.”
“Then what is it? What is it that made you send your daughter away time and time again? Why did y…why did you leave me?”
“It’s more complicated than that, Al. Your abilities are…rare. Even among your people…”
“My people? Dad, YOU are my people. I don’t care about magic right now. I want my DAD. I want to sit here and have hot chocolate. I want to enjoy reading books together. I want to come home from school and have my Dad ask how my day was, and I casually brush it off but he sits me down and makes me explain because he cares. Then he awkwardly tries to make dinner and ruins it, so we have to go out to a restaurant and I get to order whatever dessert I want. I don’t want this. I don’t want magic. I want you.”
There was a moment of silence.
“We can’t go back anymore,” he said, wringing his hands together. “Your teacher, Mr. Terrell, he told me. Now that it’s been broken, a new thingy won’t work as well.”
“So because I know about magic, I can’t be with my Dad anymore? How is that supposed to work?”
“Al, because of your abilities, people will come for you.”
“Then we can face them together.”
“No, you need to go somewhere that you can learn. Somewhere that will be safe for you. The Sanctum.”
No…no,no,no,no. He was NOT about to do this again.
“Y…you’re sending me away again?!” I could feel by blood beginning to boil. “After everything I just said. After pouring my heart out and trying to get you to understand, you’re choosing to pretend you didn't hear it?”
“Alex, it was your mom’s —”
“I DON’T CARE ABOUT HER!” I screamed. One of the light bulbs near the kitchen popped, but I was too far gone to take notice. “She’s gone! She doesn’t matter! She doesn’t mean anything to me any —”
“Alexandra Paige!”
I fell silent. I couldn’t remember the last time he used my full name. It was like taking a dagger to the heart.
There was a loud silence that hung in the room. My heart was racing a mile a minute. I felt as though I had just gotten done with a five-mile sprint. My mind was going into overtime trying to make sense of everything that was happening.
“You care more about her than me.” I was taken aback as the words left my mouth. Dad was maybe just as shocked. I could only gaze at the expression on his face. It was like I had just taken his heart in my hand and crushed it. I quickly covered my mouth with my hands to prevent me from saying anything else. I regretted it. I shouldn’t have said it. I didn’t mean it. Or maybe I did, but none of that mattered now. It was out in the open.
…I ran away.
