Okay, guys. So here’s the deal. Beneath this public health announcement is a decently sized portion of fully explicit, hardcore smut. All I want you to do before you access it is read the healthcare instructions in their entirety. That’s the deal. You read the health and safety steps, you get the fap fodder. Capische?

Good. Here goes:

One: Remember to wash your hands frequently, for a minimum of twenty seconds, using soap. 

Two: Remember to keep a minimum of six feet distant from other people when outdoors or in public spaces, and, where possible, avoid large gatherings of people. This is called social distancing, and is very important for slowing down the spread of infection so that state and local medical facilities don't get perpetually overrun with new cases they have to deal with.

Three: Try not to sneeze into your hands. Firstly because it's gross, and secondly because it's a very easy way to spread germs to everything you touch. If you can, sneeze into the crook of your elbow, or a gosh darn tissue.

Four: Try not to panic. Yes. Things are weird. And they're going to stay weird for a while. That's okay. We can deal with weird. The biggest problem is when people panic, so don't do that.

Five: We are heading towards what looks like a lonely and isolating few months. Remember that you are not the only person who might be isolated. If you have family, loved ones, or friends who you think will be lonely because of what's going on, be the person who gets in contact. Sometimes, the most important thing you can do is remind others that they're not alone.

Thank you for reading this basic set of guidelines. You have now earned your reward.

I wake before she does, the chill of the winter morning drawing the air from my lungs; a sporadic spray of goose-pimples along my forearms. I shiver.

The pre-dawn is not entirely cold, though. I can feel the warmth of her body laying against me; her shoulder resting on my chest; the softness of her breath tickling at my skin with every exhalation. I wrap an arm loosely around her waist, and hold her close. How could I be cold with her presence to keep me warm?

I open my eyes, and the sight that comes to greet me is her face. She looks so untroubled when she sleeps; that cute button of a nose nestled against my ribs as she just lays there with me, breathing softly in and out. I crane my neck, and press a single kiss against her forehead. She is perfection, pure and simple. No other words would do her justice.

Her eyelids flutter as my lips press against her scalp, and she mutters a quiet nothing into the morning air; still more or less asleep. I chuckle. How best to wake her up?

She stirs only slightly as I shrug her off me, shifting her head against a pillow. She shivers for a moment as her skin is exposed to the sudden cold, then returns to the quiet of her rest.

I crawl down beneath the sheets. It’s difficult not to feel silly doing this, but I bear with it as far as needed. Within a moment or two, I am down beside her legs, and my view is drastically improved.

I can see her now. All of her. The slender framing of her waist beneath the sheets. The supple arch of those perky, beautifully proportioned breasts. I have to imagine her nipples are like diamonds in the current cold.

Actually no. I don’t have to imagine it. She mutters something indiscernible as I lean forwards to give one of her nipples a little lick. I thought as much. Hard as diamond. I give it a small kiss, then return to the task at hand.

There’s only one way to wake up the perfect woman on a day as cold as this. I place a hand between her legs; easily, gently putting pressure on her thighs, shifting them apart. She stirs once or twice. That’s okay. She’d find this all hilarious.

I gaze at her crotch a moment then; a small smile rising unbidden to my lips. She told me I was the reason she’d started shaving. I remember to count my blessings. 

I lean forwards, and give that perfect crotch a kiss. She sighs, shifts gently against the pillows, and murmurs something that sounds an awful lot like my name.

I grin.

I use my tongue next. It’s the obvious second step, I suppose; parting my lips just a little to let the tip of my tongue press against her, trailing up and down the length of those delicate folds of hers. After a few iterations, I turn my attention to her clit; trailing the tip of my tongue in slow, smooth circles around the nub of it as she slowly pulls to consciousness.

She moans a little harder now, one hand rising, half-unconscious to tangle in my hair. Now she’s definitely murmuring my name. I can taste her. I continue.

She doesn’t exactly jump when my tongue is pressed inside of her, despite the last of the sleep being swept directly from her mind. It’s hardly the first time she’s been woken in this manner. She groans, the hand at my hair giving me a tug to deepen my insertion. I feel her ankles meet behind my head.

“Harder,” she says.

I obey. What fool wouldn’t?

I dig deeper, harder; grinding my tongue against the walls of her as I go; tasting, teasing, licking at every spot, and glorying in the slight saltiness of her fluids on my tongue. 

She pulls me closer, pressing my face so hard against her as to grind my nose against her clit.

She is wet now. She enjoys me. I can hear it in her moans. 

I raise my hands, one shifting up to stroke at the silken skin of her thigh, tickling her where she’s most sensitive; the other moving up to caress her chest, my thumb grazing at the underside of a breast.

Her moans grow slow and even as we proceed. One minute. Two minutes. Ten. Why rush on a lazy morning such as this?

I’m more than perceptive enough to tell when she grows close, yet she tells me it's coming anyway.

I speed my pace a little, my tongue sliding in and out and in and out, again and again, each time in a slightly different direction, grinding at the sides of her as she gasps and whines and rises to completion.

Her first orgasm is a thing of quiet bliss. Her hand momentarily squeezes into a fist, yanking a hair or two free of my scalp as her form begins to shake. She lets out something less of a moan, and more of a solitary gasp as the tension in her body hits its peak.

Then comes warmth, wetness, and a crushing pressure hard enough to hurt my precious tongue. 

Her satisfaction in the aftermath makes it worth it all.

I pull up alongside her, and my emergence is greeted with the warmest smile in the world.

“Morning, stranger,” she murmurs, leaning her forehead in against mine, the tip of her nose tickling at my own. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“Guess not,” I reply, my tongue a little tired from my work, trying not to lisp. “You?”

She shrugs, a coy smile playing at her cheeks as her hands press lightly on my arms, her fingers pushing me easily against the bed frame.

“Not bad. Started my day out pretty good. You interrupted a really cool dream I was having, though.”

“Oh yeah?” I ask. “That was rude of me. Does that mean I’m getting punished?”

“Yeah,” she says, the words trying to come out as a growl, but aborting into an easy laugh. “I’m gonna punish you super hard.”

She rises up at that, the bedsheet hanging about her waist like a gown, her shoulders framed so wonderfully by her hair. She kneels over me, one leg to either side of my waist, those perfect breasts so tantalizingly close before my eyes. I lean forwards, and give one of them a nip. Not hard enough to hurt. Never to hurt. Enough to tease; to play. She snickers at me. Then, her hips begin to fall.

I feel her hand then, grasping my groin, holding me steady as she lowers herself upon me. Guiding me in.

The sensation as I enter her is beyond my capacity for words. There is pressure, and heat, and wet; but none of those descriptions does her justice. This girl is warmth. This girl is life.

She gasps as she presses me inside, as if, somehow, she’s surprised to feel the girth of me. That’s as far as she really gets before my lips move in to meet her own. 

The final part of the insertion is under my control. I lean in forward from the bedpost, my shoulders easing her back, one hand moving to the base of her spine to steady her, the other resting lightly on the crook where her hip becomes her leg. Our tongues play together in the light of the morning sun, and I push myself inside her to the base.

She whines. I growl; a low, primal thing in the back of my throat. Then I begin to move.

It’s slow, at first, an even rhythm of insertion and release, both of us taking time in acclimating to the feeling. It takes restraint. I don’t want to push too far too early, nor to be so rough as to hurt her. Such things take time when you’re blessed with decent size. Over time, however, she adjusts, and my movements become more rapid. In and out, in and out. Again and again, like there’s a wildfire sitting in my gut. I feel her teeth against my neck, her nails digging red lines across my shoulder blades as she pulls herself upon me, her thighs wrapping about my waist.

I pull us off the bed, one arm still holding her against me while the other presses her shoulders up against the bedroom wall. My thrusts grow harder.

She lets out a cry. High, loud. Heedless of our neighbors. 

She tells me to do it harder.

I obey.

Minutes pass like this. Possibly hours. It’s hard to tell; seconds measured in ragged gasps and whines. On the hour, she cums again, giving me no warning besides a shriek, her nails drawing a trail of thin reddish lines along my spine. I try to hold myself back from joining her, enjoying the continued nature of sensation, but she doesn’t allow me such a choice. Her legs clamp around my waist as I try to pull away, crushing me deep inside of her as her pleasure tightens her around me.

The feeling is enough to break me.

It is with a moan of my own that I join her at the peak, pressing myself inside her to the base and surrendering fully to her embrace.

We spill our heat together there, before I slump backwards, falling in a heap with her upon the bed.

I let my eyes drift closed at that. She murmurs that she loves me.

All is well upon the earth.