“Morning sleepy head.”
“Mrrrnngghhh. Goood morning.”
“Have any dreams last night?”
“Yeah, yeah I did. It was weird, I was in the middle of a nightmare and then it changed to a really…ephemeral feeling scene.”
“How well do you remember it?”
“The nightmare? Not at all. The second part of the dream? Really clearly actually.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“...No. No, I think I’ll keep it for myself.”
“Aww, not willing to tell your best friend?”
“Nope, not telling.”
“Alright then, I won’t pry. What’s on our agenda for today oh noble of the messy hair?”
“Well first I’m going to get dressed and such, from there the day is what we make it I suppose."
“Sounds good! I figure you’ve got sword practice and lord’s studies, right?”
“Yeah, seems that way. It’s what I do every day so why would father change up a perfect formula?”
“Yeaaahhh ‘perfect’ alright.”
“At least he gives me time to myself.”
“I suppose that is a point in Robutt’s favor.”
“So, what am I really going to be learning today?”
“Weeellll, considering you know one of the greatest mages to ever live, according to your own account I might add so you can’t take it back, I figure it’s magic teaching time.”
“....But I couldn’t do it.”
“Oh pish, don’t worry about it. Magic can be difficult for some people. Open up your status screen. See, right there, ‘Mana: 20/20’, that’s probably your biggest problem.”
“What do you mean? Isn’t that normal?”
“For your average joe schmoe farmer or whatever? Sure, probably, might even have less. For an aspiring mage? Terrible, can’t do anything with 20 mana really.”
“...Oh. So, I can’t cast magic then?”
“Errrr. WRONG! Try again!”
“Um. So, I can cast magic?”
“Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Come on George! Tell ‘em what they’ve won!”
“I. I’m sorry?”
“Yes that’s right, they’ve won an all expenses paid course on Mana Expansion!”
“I am so confused right now, what are you talking about?”
“The package includes a week long mana training boot camp where they’ll learn the tips and tricks the greatest mages use to expand their mana past the regular bounds imparted by circumstance! During the course if their mana doesn’t expand tenfold the instructor will find a way to eat a boot!”
“I see you’re just ignoring me now. I hope you finish soon, I’m getting dressed.”
“Nooo wait I’m not finished yet!”
“Too late! Your bit ran too long and I’m sick of it so now I’m ignoring you.”
“Awwww. If only you’d seen Guess the Price you’d get the joke.”
“I’m not from your world! How could I have seen it?!”
“That’s fair. Sorry I got too into the bit.”
“That’s alright but I do have to get dressed now. Can you explain what you were trying to convey with normal words this time?”
“Fine, party pooper. Essentially, there are ways that you can expand your mana capacity, so I’m going to use this next, like, week or so to show you how to do them and then you’re going to do them for the foreseeable future.”
“How long is that?”
“Until we think that you have enough mana to comfortably and safely do what you want to do. If you only have a bit of mana and try to challenge a dungeon on your own, you’re gonna get wiped out real fast and I’m not ready to lose my best friend just yet. Alternatively, some of the methods are somewhat intensive and one requires access to potions as such aren’t that feasible for permanent use. There are also some methods that I didn’t use myself that I’ll show you just in case you click with them better. All the mages I knew had slightly different routines for mana expansion. Eventually it’ll become second nature to you, just another daily habit. Also, if you want to cast the really big spells, you’ll need just… so so much mana that it’s not even funny. A lot of them are mana guzzlers that’ll leave you passed out after casting them if you’re not careful.”
“Alright. Something to look forward to I suppose.”
“Yeah! All you have to do is suffer through the most boring classes I’ve ever experienced and then a bunch of strenuous physical activity!”
“Why do you make my routine sound so awful? It’s not like it’s that bad.”
“Au contraire mon amie. To me it seems like torture.”
“Did. Did you not do well in your lessons?”
“I did swimmingly in class. But math was my worst subject. English? Shop? Science? All fine, except chemistry and physics, I did horrendously in those.”
“Wait a minute, didn’t you tell me that chemists were your world’s alchemists? How could you do poorly in chemistry when you’re such a good alchemist?”
“Well the thing about that is that I experimented quite a bit to get ratios correct and for the most part I eyeball quantities. But I still have no idea what a mol is.”
“Isn’t. Isn’t it a blind animal that burrows?”
“No. I mean, yes it is, but there’s also a unit of measurement I think called a mol. It uses stupid big or small numbers in its calculations and I was never good at that math. I mean, I never wanted to be a chemist. Alchemy is so much more fun ‘cause I get to find ingredients and then figure out how to prepare them and then combine them to get the desired effect as well as change ratios in order to find the most potent combinations. It’s super fun when you’re teaching yourself like I did because you have to figure out what effects an ingredient has on its own, whether it’s poisonous, restorative, gives a buff or debuff, or something else entirely! This process usually involves eating the ingredient at some point.”
“That last part sounds awful! You had to eat all your ingredients!? Including stuff like viper venom and fire salamander eyes and all of them!?”
“Yeah! I mean, a lot of them taste nasty or have awful textures but it’s necessary to find out what oral consumption will lead to. Like, the effects of tear grass are completely different when applied in different ways! Consumed orally it induces a state wherein you start to cry uncontrollably but if you grind it with a little fairy spring water you get a cream that when applied to the skin grants a decent amount of mana regen and water element resistance! Isn’t that cool!”
“Yeah, it does sound interesting that it has different properties when applied in different ways but I don’t think I could just eat random things to find out if they poison me or heal me or, I don’t know, make my hair teal or something.”
“Haven’t found a material that color changes hair on its own yet, though there are plenty of compounds you can make that permanently dye your hair a different color, including new growth.”
“That’s interesting. Anyway, time to get to my lessons. Lord Garrus won’t wait forever and might have me write an essay on the Torrent Wars if I’m late.”
“Then onwards young scholar! We must sally forth and, um, verily conquer the eternal foes of humanity: Death and Taxes.”
“Please never speak like that again. Also, isn’t the saying that nothing is certain in life except Death and Taxes?”
“RIght you are, but consider that if we managed to kill Death and end Taxes we’d be heralded as heroes?”
“I think we’d be the greatest anarchists to ever live if we did that.”
“Yeah that sounds right to me. Well, maybe we’d be Libertarians. Yeaaaaah maybe we should scrap that plan and just take the lesson like normal.”
“Pffft. Sure, a normal lesson for normal people.”
“In conclusion, the Torrent Wars were one of the most terrible conflicts to ever happen on the continent of Vanderilex. Some of the greatest atrocities to ever happen were committed during the war, including the genocide of the Jickien ethnic group and the siege and subsequent razing of Danzhold which was the largest settlement on the continent at the time. This war is the reason the term “all-out war” was coined. Though it happened nearly six centuries ago its ramifications are still seen today.”
“Lord Garrus, I understand that the ramifications include the loss of the Jickien people which is an undeniable tragedy and the loss of Danzhold, but are there other ramifications?”
“Think of it through the lens of precedent.”
“Oohhh. So because the Kingdom of Reyful set the precedent of genocide and all-out war, they planted the seed of the idea that atrocities are supposedly permissible if the one that commits them is the victor.”
“Correct! Well done Percival! The greatest ramification of the Torrent Wars is the fact that for as long as people remember the tragedy that occurred at the hands of King Cesvar du Reyful, some will see his failure being that he didn’t do more. There are many people born to power that do not know that people are valuable, both in the idea that every life is sacred as the patron goddess of the empire teaches, but also specifically to rulers. They forget that fealty is not a river flowing in one direction, but a road upon which one treads both to and fro. The people of the country are the ones that grow the food and prepare the meals you eat, manufacture and sell the clothes on your back and the ink you write with. Frequently it is the common folk that create trends that the nobility adopts. They are the main body of the military that keeps the empire safe from monsters and invasion. Meanwhile, it is the ruler’s holy duty to provide safety for the people, to be wise in their decisions about infrastructure and laws, or to appoint competent people to positions in the bureaucracy that can do so in their stead. They have the heavy duty of authority, of holding the law in one hand and passing judgment with the other. It is their duty to lead the empire in such a way that it prospers and does not fall into decline. Rulers must also remember that if the common folk are dissatisfied with their rule, that there are more of them than there are of us.
“Many among the nobility would consider what I just said seditious, but it is the truth that the wise recognize and keep in their minds while they make decisions that affect the masses. We need only look to history to find examples of such actions. In fact, the fall of Reyful was due to the desertion of the vast majority of their armed forces after the Week of Wails, when the genocide of the Jickiens occurred. So disgusted by the orders of their superiors and actions of many who followed the commands passed down to them that two thirds of the army of Reyful vanished into the night. Without the might of its army, Reyful could no longer hold off the counter attack by the Danzhold Alliance. Remember this if nothing else I teach you throughout our time together: History is not simply past. It is our present and it is our future. History is a wheel and when it turns, it crushes those that do not heed its path.”
“I will remember this lesson, Lord Garrus. Also, I disagree with those that would accuse you of sedition. It seems to me that by teaching the next generation of nobility this lesson, they would in fact act more so in the interest of the empire as a whole.”
“I would be glad if you kept that thought in mind when you inherit your father’s position one day, though I hope that that day is far off in the future.”
“I too hope that my father rules for much longer.”
“Alright then, class is over for today, however, I will require a twenty page essay on the Danzhold Alliance: why it was created, why it lasted past the purpose it was created for, the advantages and disadvantages for the member nations, and ultimately why it failed. That will be all I think. Next class will be next Dina's Day; please remember to show up on time then.”
“I. I will remember to do so, Lord Garrus.”
“Alright, with that, I hope you have a productive swordsmanship lesson Percival, and a good day overall.”
“Take care Lord Garrus.”
…
…
“Alright that’s it, Rose stop pretending to be asleep.”
“Honk, shoo, honk, shoo.”
“Oh come on, that’s not even convincing as a snore. You’re just saying the words “honk shoo.”
“Nope. I’m totally asleep, mimimimimi.”
“I’m going to count to 5 and when I finish I want you to be serious.”
“Impossible.”
“1”
“Not gonna happen buddy, I’ve never been serious in my life and I’m not-”
“2”
“-about to stop now.”
“3”
“Ok listen up twerp, you keep counting and I’m gonna stay max distance for the rest of the day.”
“4”
“Hrrrnnnnggg. Fine! Fine! I’m sorry that I can’t sleep so I have to pretend and even then I can’t do so convincingly! Are you happy now? Feel like a big girl, bullying a poor insomniac?”
“...”
“...”
“Fine. I’ll apologize for not taking your feelings into account, but I will remind you that I have stated in the past that if you want to pretend to go to sleep, to do so convincingly.”
“I’m totally convincing, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“When people sleep they don’t talk.”
“That’s factually incorrect for a subsection of the population.”
“Whatever, let’s just drop it.”
“Fair enough. Also, by the position of the sun in the sky and the chill in the air I believe that you’re going to be late to another lesson.”
“Aw crud puppies, let’s book it!”
“Gods’ speed young one!
