When I woke up, I was being carried up the stairs of my tower headed towards my bedroom. Last I remembered, Rose had started being really fatalistic and I jumped in front of her. What happened after that? Ummm. Hmmm. I remember being in pain, but not as much as I thought I’d be in. Rose had been looking at a near empty patch of air, but the woods were silent, and I could…I don’t know, feel, the energy of the forest flowing around the patch of air. And then it started to glow with this malevolent light and I knew it was going to hurt her, kill her, if I didn’t stop her. I was scared but like hell I’d just let her disappear and leave me alone. 

Gods I hurt all over. It feels like I was trampled by a whole stable’s worth of horses. Sleeping would be nice but I don’t think I can go back to sleep with this much pain. Wait a minute, who’s carrying me? 

I look up into the sharp red beard and, as Rose has described it in the past, grizzly bear face of my father, who is looking determinedly up the stairs as he holds me close to his chest. I don’t know what to feel right now. Why was he in the woods? Why is he carrying me? Why don’t I feel safe here like I used to? It feels like the hug I waited years for and never thought I’d receive, but it doesn’t hold the affection that Rose said it would. Instead it feels…possessive. Like he’s scared someone is going to steal something from him. I don’t like that feeling. 

I suppose he sensed me stirring and moving my head as he looks down into my face, his still a flat mask of the Eternal Sword of the Empire, never showing weakness, or any emotion for that matter. I’ve been told by the knights that on campaign he smiles and laughs regularly and feels like “one of the men”. I’ve never seen anything close to that from him.

“You’re awake. Good. Can you stand?”

“I… I’m sure I can.”

I want to get out of his arms and away from him. I want to find out what happened to Rose. I need to get out of here, no matter how hurt I might be. He puts me down on my feet on the stairs and oh gods it hurts. Bile rises in my throat but I won’t show weakness. Not to him. Never in front of him. I wobble and nearly tip down the stairs but I catch myself, planting my feet in a wider stance and look up at him with a mask to match his. Expressionless, devoid of any hint of what I felt underneath. I learned from the best after all.

“Good. Practice is tomorrow at the usual time.”

“Fine.”

And with that winning exchange between parent and child, he about faces and returns down the stairs. As soon as he’s out of earshot I collapse to the ground and sit on the stairs limply. God it hurts. Nothing feels broken but my head is swimming in acid and my legs are water. I rest for all of five minutes though it feels like a moment and then get back to my feet. I climb the rest of the stairs to my room and collapse on the bed. I want to find out what happened to Rose, why she would do that to me. Does she hate me? She was so quick to try and leave me. I know she’s trapped here next to me but I thought we… that we loved each other. Why would she want to abandon me at the first chance. I… I just… WHY?!?

And the tears start flowing and I can’t stop them. Limp in bed all I can do is choke back huge heaving sobs. Why this? Why now? I haven’t cried since I was 7 why am I now? I love her so much that when I heard her say that awful incantation something felt like it broke in my heart. It hurts, it hurts so much. My heart hurts. I need to find her. Need to make sure she’s alright. Why isn’t she here? How can she be gone? She’s always there but now she’s not and WHY?!?

---

 

When I woke up, I was still a prisoner. Still leaking blue mist from the rents in my soul. Fucking horseshit why can a ghost feel pain? There’s no magic that heals the soul, at least, not that I know of. Fuck I’ve never heard of a soul being hurt before. Captured? Destroyed? Banished? Moved like a doll? All possible! Hurting a soul? Never. How on earth did this happen. Wait! Where’s Val?
“VAL!?!??” VAAAALLLL!!!! Where are you!?”

The only response to my call was the sounds of a forest at night. Though I was no longer in a forest. The trees and shrubs and cute little animals were all gone around me. Instead I was floating above the floor of a large crater. It looks like either the largest artillery shell detonated here, or like some god took a spoon and scooped out a piece of the world. Except for the center. In the middle is a small pillar of earth still standing. Wait, it’s coming back to me. Val was hurt defending me like an idiot when I was defending them! That fucking little twerp I’m gonna scold them so much when I get out of here… in a week. Oh god that’s gonna be so boring! 

Wait, fuck my stupid brain, I remember Robutt swooping in to save Val while I couldn’t move and tearing the thing apart like it was made of wet paper. Then he looked at me and threatened me, all while saying I had to be Val’s protector. No shit sherlock, Protect them from your fucking piece of shit crazy ass! GodsDAMN I do not feel good. I haven’t felt…well, much of anything for the last 8 years and now I get to savor the feeling of being eviscerated! God I wish I could see Val. But they don’t know the Message spell, so even if I send them a message I won’t get a reply. What time is it anyway? We got attacked in the late afternoon aaaannd the sun is rising. Man I was out for a grip, huh? Better send a message to Val telling them I’m alright, wouldn’t want them to worry or nothing.

“Swift wind carry my voice to whom I choose and let them receive my Message. ‘Heya buddy! Sorry about the radio silence, I just woke up! Crazy right? I’m fine, no need to worry. Sorry I can’t be there right now!’”

Message is a spell that allows the user to contact anyone they’ve seen in the last 72 hours. It’s limited to 25 words though, so you can’t really hold a great conversation with it. Good for this case though, cause I just needed Val to know I was ok. I’m sure they’re worried. God they haven’t really been alone for 8 years? I wonder how bad that is for a kid. Was I too invasive? Should I have left the room more often than I did? Ah Jeezy Creezy I hope I didn’t mess their brain up by haunting them. Not like I had a choice but I… would also have been lonely without them there. It’s not like I could’ve gone and talked to anyone else. Well, ok, now I know that seeing ghosts runs in the family, cause Dickhead Maximus over there decided now was the time to shit on me.

Whelp, nothing left to do but sit here and wait… aaaaannnddd wait… Fuck I’m bored.”

---

 

I lay in bed, limp, eyes surely red and puffy. I feel like I have nothing left in me. No tears. No soul. No emotions. All of it’s gone. Everything’s gone. Because she’s gone forever. She left me behind and went off somewhere else. She’s not dead. She can’t be dead. I’d know if she was dead, right? So she’s not dead. Just gone. And I’m here. Dead instead.

Someone’s knocking on my door again. Just like 2 hours ago. Just like 4 hours ago. Like fucking clockwork they come to bother the dead. I keep ignoring them. My door’s locked, they can’t get in so I’m safe to be dead.

“Young Master? Please let me in. I have some food for you! It’s been two days and you haven’t left the room, surely you must be hungry by now. Please let me in.”

Hungry? Hah, how can I hunger for anything except her? I’m empty inside and that’s how it should be. I don’t deserve to eat because I couldn’t stop her, couldn’t save her, couldn’t tell her how I feel. She’s gone now and so is everything I care about. Hungry? Hah.

“I’m… I’m going to leave this here across from the door. Please eat it soon. I made sure it was warm before I brought it up but it will cool soon so please eat it before then. We’re all worried about you, so please come out soon Young Master.”

What a joke. Care about me? No one cares about me. I thought she did but she’s gone and all I can do is lay here empty. My hand falls off the side of the bed and hits something instead of the floor. With immense effort, because I have no soul or anything else in my body, I turn over and look at what I hit. It’s… It’s Boar’s Thorn. With the pommel that made her so happy she said. The nicest thing anyone’ ever done for her. Ever, she said. I guess it wasn’t enough. But, but I can remember how she looked when she stopped crying. Her smile is like the sun, blinding in its brilliance. Her hair seems like snow with light shining from below, White with light blue accents. Her eyes like sapphire. No! Like the sky at dusk as the sun is just about to finish setting! A blue so dark it seems purple! The way she laughs isn’t like tinkling bells like some people describe women’s laughs as. Instead, it sounds unique every time I hear it, always shifting around, not bells, no, but an entire room of musical instruments, each played according to the rhythm and beat of whatever sparked the reaction from her. 

She. She’s so kind. She makes me feel like I’m…like I’m me. Not the ‘Young Duke’, not ‘Percival’, but me. Val. I love it when she says my name, it feels so nice to have someone who knows who I am and loves me anyway. She’s funny, always with a comeback or something snarky to say about anything. She doesn’t take shit and when she gives it she either knows how much to give or apologizes if she goes too far. She’s so smart, she knows more spells than the Archmagi! And how to make anything! She’s gentle when I need her to be and serious when things call for it…

Yep. Still imprisoned. Still in the same place. God I’m glad my legs can’t cramp or else I’d be in so much more pain. It’s Day 5 of the Week of Regretting Life Choices and that means that, yes, I’ve been floating here, against my will mind you, for 

“5. WHOLE. FUCKING. DAYS!!! AAAAGGGHHHHRRRRHGHGHGH!!!”

Unfortunately, screaming my non-existent lungs out doesn’t actually make me feel better. If a ghost screams in a forest and no soul-whisperers are around, does she make a sound? The answer? Who gives a fuck I’m so bored. SO. BORED. It’s torture. Goddess of Mercy? Peh. Ma’am I spit in your general direction… or I would if I could. The sentiment is still there by gods! Gods OTHER THAN YOU YOU WICKED HARPY! 

I’ve done EVERYTHING that I can POSSIBLY THINK OF to pass the time, which, NEWS FLASH for you folks, AIN’T MUCH. I tried casting spells for all of 20 minutes before I started feeling lightheaded, which means my mana regen is off? For some reason? Looking at my status, my mana is suuper low. Which, great, 4 fucking days and no mana to speak of. Fuck me and my afterlife I guess! Now you might be thinking “Oh silly, stupid, naive Rose, don’t you know there are things you can do that aren’t magic? Wow, gee, thanks random fuckwad! I never thought to try I Spy when I’m trapped in a GODSDAMNED CRATER! What’d’ya see Rosie?! I SEE DIRT! FUCKING DIRT FOR A HALF MILE ALL AROUND. Well look up you stupid bitch! GUESS WHAT?!!? I! SEE! BLUE! AAAAAGHGGGHHH!

Why did I do it? Because Val was in danger and it was all I could think to do. Didn’t think about, I dunno, SOUL CAPTURE?!? Banish Life’s Essence?!? You know, SPELLS THAT AFFECT SOULS!?!? Nope! Not me! My dumb. FUCKING. Ass. Could only think of the TOP TIER DEFENSIVE SPELL IN THE GODDAMN GAME!!! A spell once described in an interview with the devs as a “SORT OF SOCIAL EXPERIMENT!!!” 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Let me out let me out let me out letmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeout

I’m going FUCKING INSANE! And I’m here alone for 2 more. FUCKING DAYS! ALONE! AAAAAAAAAGHGHGHGGHHHEOAJFNALFNALDKFNDMLFNNOIQNWNDDNCLCNCNAONQNCNX

I’ll never make it. 

---

 

And. And she’s gone. She left. Nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. Ha. haha. ha. ha. Oh gods she’s gone. She left me. Why would she leave me. I love her and I thought she loves me but now she’s gone and I… I’m alone. Why does this feel so bad? But she was my… my best friend. Only her friend. Ha. hahaha. Yeah. Yeah that’s right. I was never anything but a friend to her. God of course she wouldn’t love me like that. She’s amazing and I’m nothing. Why wouldn’t she leave me when she could? She’s free now, she can go anywhere and do anything because she’s amazing and I’m stuck here, trapped just because I was born. 

Oh gods why was I born if it was going to turn out like this. Master of Fates I curse your name! It should’ve been me instead! I just! I just. I. I just want to see her again! It’s so unfair, Rose. Why did you leave me behind? Weren’t we supposed to stay together through everything?

 

It’s Day 6 and I’ve been banging my head against my self-inflicted prison for the last few hours, to no result. I don’t know what result I want: To break the prison or to knock myself out somehow but either way, no luck. Just as I stop and slide down the side of the bubble to the bottom and lay there lifelessly. haha. What a joke this afterlife is shaping up to be. God I miss Val. I wondered earlier if I had messed Val up by being near then 24/7 for 8 years but now I know that I was the one that got messed up. I miss them so much. Their smile when they make something. The excitement they only show me. I miss them. I want to protect them. Fucking Robert Quentin is… a protective father sure but he’s not a good father, and I need to try and mitigate any damage he might’ve done to Val. But instead of that I’m stuck here. In a prison of my own creation.

“♪ You do it to yourself, it’s true, and that’s what really hurts! You do it to your, seeelllfff~♪”

“Who’s there? Wait a minute, how do you know that song?!” 

“Why I know many things! I’m a traveler, you see, and I wander hither and yon collecting people’s tales. I figured I would see what story a damage soul in the sacrificial prison of Mercy’s Prison of Sacrifice had to offer me.”

Looking out of my bubble I see a short figure at the edge of the crater. I can’t make them out well in the dark from so far away. It looks like they’re holding something, repeatedly holding it up to their mouth and then taking it away. Guess it’s one of those long pipes you see sometimes in fantasy. Are they a gnome? A halfling? Dwarf? They’re humanoid but indistinct. 

“I do say, are you alright there? You have been staring a hole through me for the past few minutes. I dare say an honest chap would see that and start to feel things that would not behoove a beautiful young lady such as yourself.”

“Oh! Um, sorry! Also, kinda gross. My name’s Rose! What’s yours?”

“My! What a polite young woman! My name is inconsequential but you may refer to me as Dal, at your service.”

Saying that, he swept off what must be a very wide hat and I think did a deep bow. That’s the first time someone’s bowed to me. That’s…a weird feeling. 

“Um. So, uh, what do you want to know?”

“Why your story, Miss Rose! Where you came from, where you’ve been headed, and everything in between! I do believe, judging by the prison, that we have at least 2 days during which to converse so please! Regale me!”

“I. Okay, sure. I’m happy that you can see me and even more so that you’re happy to talk to me. I’ve been so bored. Oh! Are you related to the Quentin family perchance?”

“The Ducal Swords? No, what a silly question. There’s only three of them left after all!”

“Yeah, makes sense. So, my story?”

“Yes please!”

And so I started to talk. About my life, my death, and my afterlife. Dal’s a great audience, asking questions that stimulate conversation and my memory. I found myself talking about things I normally kept in my mind’s closet. It… didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would, talking to Dal about it. I also found myself remembering a lot of little things, little moments of happiness and joy, that I’d forgotten about. It was…nice. Really nice, actually, to tell someone about the fucked up shit that I went through, and to remember good things that I forgot about. By the time I knew it I was sitting next to Dal on the edge of the crater, both of us dangling out legs over the edge while I spoke about teaching Val how to make a sword, how they made me realize I could do magic still, how I was going about teaching Val magic, and then the fight in the woods. 

Dal was a halfling it seems. With brown hair cut short on his head with mutton chops and a chin-strap beard, all in brown with flecks of white and gray sprinkled in. His hat was a wide brimmed traveler’s hat, travel worn and water stained. It had a feather in it the color of dawn in pristine condition, standing out against the plain hat. He did, in fact, have a long, curved pipe, carved in the shape of a bird at the end, which he shared with me as we talked. I’ve never smoked before but it wasn’t a bad feeling per say, just, a way to share a moment with someone it felt like. 

As my story came to an end with me explaining how I was going loopy inside the prison, he laughed heartily and told me that he was glad he’d wandered by to listen. 

“It is a good story. Very good. The First Act ends in tragedy but with a rebirth into a happier time in the Second. And then the start of the Third! So dramatic! I can see exciting things in your story coming up, Dear Miss Rose. I eagerly await our next meeting, such that I can hardly contain my excitement!”

“Oh! Are you leaving already?”

He threw back his head a guffawed. A sound that was really nice to hear, like someone who knew life was a joke and he wanted everyone to know it.

“Whaahahaha! Already she says! My dear, it has been three days since you started your story!”

“What! THREE DAYS?!?! I have to go! I have to get back to Val!”

“Indeed! Go see her, tell her how much you love her, and make sure to give her a hug for me!”

“GreattalkingwithyoubutIgottagobye!”

As I started sprinting as fast as I could and cast magic to make myself faster he laughed behind me, that same glorious guffaw, and shouted after me. 

“Great things await you and her! A story for weary hearts and tired souls!