Chapter 1
Tragedy (1)

I wanted to become an actor.

so eagerly.

The dream I had hoped for had become everything in my life before I knew it.

Because I didn't want to give up in the reality where the chains of poverty were terribly pulling my ankles.

I re-read the script that I memorized like crazy and ate it over and over again.

As If I was waiting for the script to completely assimilate into my head.

I didn't get bored even reading it until the end fell off, and just being able to live buried in the script brought a smile to my face.

'Today there are six lines of dialogue.'

That was the reason I was able to be satisfied with my life as an ordinary minor-actor in Daehak-ro.¹

In addition, sometimes I felt rewarded when I heard the reviews of the audience passing by in whispers.

"Isn't that guy that minor? The one good at acting?"

"That's right, it's a bit wasteful for him to play a small role though."

according to their words.

I believe I would see the light, and finally I seemed to really see the light at the end of the grim dark tunnel of life.

A leading role in an independent film that came unexpectedly.

"Director Hwang Cheolsun's work?"

"Yes"

Even the director was Hwang Cheolsun, who is called the Midas of the independent film world.

Hwang Cheolsun's movie, and for a lead role?

It was natural that there was nothing to repeat or second guess.

"I will definitely do it!"

I finished the contract right on the spot after reading the scenario, and I thought it was an opportunity that would never come again if I let it go.

"Cut!"

Because the director's cue sign, which wasn't always directed at the main character, was directed at me this time.

"Kim Seonwoo?"

"Yes!"

First shot with a director who is classified as a big player in the independent film industry.

In addition, the pressure of being the first leading role in his life.

Somehow, the answer was full of spirit, and it seemed that my mouth was drying up.

"Hmmm"

The Director was staring at the camera.

What am I worrying about?

Wasn't the acting good? Maybe in that scene, I should have shown a more serious tone.

The time when I automatically captured it in my head.

"Didn't you say this was your first lead role?"

"Y-yes , it is."

Somehow, as the ominous question came up, my expression hardened even more.

'As expected, I should have saved a little more tone.. huh?'

It was unknowingly that the worries that had been raining in his head had been sucked somewhere.

All the tension seemed to wash away.

"Huh.."

Midas was smiling, and that too with a very satisfied face.

"I heard that you have been rolling in Daehak-ro for a long time, but this is.. It's great, splendid work."

"y-yes?"

As he looked back at the camera that had just recorded the scene, a question came to him without even realizing it.

As If I had heard nothing but nonsense.

"Why are you still unable to get out of Daehak-ro with these skills?"

"..."

"It's good, both the pace and the sense of immersion. One picture will come out right."

"That's... what you are really saying is-"

He mumbled something he couldn't believe before bursting into laughter once more.

"Puha! Why would I tell a lie just to cheer you up?"

"..."

It seemed like a dream for me.

NO, the days that seemed to come into a dream unfolded in succession.

Both the first and second shoots were completed successfully, and the atmosphere on the set became more and more friendly.

Little by little, it seemed that the relationship with the staff as well as with the director was becoming more comfortable.

"Hmm... Seonwoo seems to be improving his acting skills."

"Hahah.. n-no"

"To be humble, Do you know? Will we be filming something together next time?"

"Y-yes?"

It was a passing compliment, but it also meant a lot to me.

Even if he is a big player in the independent film industry, it is not common for Director Hwang Cheolsun to say this.

As the shooting progressed in the middle, the movie was promoted as the first leading role in my life.

Thanks to the title of Hwang Cheolsun's name, the public's expectations were never low.

'really..'

One can finally see the light.

I could feel the light coming towards me.

Forgetting the chains around my ankles.

"Here, Seonwoo."

In the middle of the outdoor shooting, a staff member approached unnaturally and pointed with a finger.

"Continue over there."

One side of the closed area beyond the set.

On the side pointed by the frightened staff, five or six strong men were looking at me with a ferocious atmosphere.

Even a young child could notice that their gaze was not friendly.

"Hey! Kim Seonwoo!"

Fortunately, the slate had just come down, so I tried to avoid the place quickly.

Approaching the young men, I carefully grabbed the arm of the one in the front.

"Sorry, don't go here, go over there for a minute and sa--"

*Smack*

And my head turned on its own.

"Where are you touching this ignorant bastard?"

Saying that, the man stuck out his tongue like a snake and grabbed me by the collar.

Like a rough, heavy chain.

"When are you going to pay me back? Your father's debt?"

"I will pay you back, As soon as the performance fee comes in.."

"When will the appearance fee come in? you bastard!"

I could feel the bright glow and sting burning on my cheeks.

At the same time, the staff's bewildered gazes looked at him from behind.

"P-please, please go away. I will definitely repay the debt."

"Haaa.. This bastard!"

A man who began to roll up his sleeves.

Soon after, the atmosphere at the filming site became a mess due to the strong men who started assaulting me.

"N-no, someone stop them."

"Hahaha!"

Thanks to Juyeon, who was bruised and covered in blood, the filming of that day had no choice but to come to a halt.

It was when the same thing was repeated for the third time.

"I'm sorry... Seonwoo"

The director, whose face had changed from a flowery color to a gruff before I knew it, looked around and started talking.

From an ore found in a grain of sand, to an instant trouble.

The changed gaze was colder than ever.

"Anyway, the atmosphere on the set is like that, and it's hard to maintain the leading role as it is."

He said it was going to be hard for them.

I was able to understand it even if I didn't have to tie the knot.²

"No, Director... I am... truly sorry for what happened."

In a way, it was a natural process.

From his point of view, there is absolutely no reason to proceed with filming with dangerous risks and handicaps.

The filming set, which had become threatening whenever gangsters came, soon changed the lead role, and as expected, the independent film received good reviews and announced the splendid debut of another unknown actor.

Perhaps that actor will go up to the majors as if to show off.

There was no story about actor Kim Seonwoo in it.

It has been like that until now, and it will be like that even in the future.

"Kuuhhh"

Even if someone showed interest for a moment, no one would want to share this kind of heavy burden on their backs.

*Bang!*

"I know you're at home, you bastard! Won't you open the door?"

At best, it must be the fate of having to deal with the thugs who came to demand the debt.

A fate that will continue forever and ever.

This damn fate that started from childhood due to the debt of a father who I can't even remember his face.

Finally grew sick of it.

To the point where I couldn't stand it any longer.

"Don't you want to open the door? Before I break it down?"

*Crash*

Through the open door, a man stepped in, trampling the scripts on the floor with his shoes.

After that, he and the thug were together in the room, but he couldn't see them properly.

"Haa... look at this bastard?"

The man who flicked his tongue like a snake back then immediately picked up a script and giggled.

"Haven't you been thinking about repaying your debt? And you've been working on something like this all day?"

*Chiiikkk*

The shredded script was thrown and scattered on the floor like garbage.

"Hey! Kim Seonwoo, are you out of your mind? Because this bastard is asking you if you...."

The unknown actor of Daehak-ro looked at the script on the floor with his head down.

Only a soft, thin voice came out.

"...The appearance fee was used for the medical expenses that I had."

"What?"

"I paid for the bruises and wounds I've suffered.

"..."

"But is it still not enough?"

I've lived in debt since I was a child and I can't even remember when it started.

Following the mother who abandoned me immediately, and the father who also ran away.

However, he preserved despite living in an underground room like a gutter where an orphanage would be better.

Endured till the end.

Because he believed that it would all end someday.

"Yes... It's not enough"

But that dream was only an illusion and disappeared like a mirage.

"What damage did my father do? Even if you catch my father who ran away and stole my whole life? Is this not enough? even if you steal the rest of my life as a child? Do you understand, Fuck!!"

A field that looked for light in an underground room where there was no sunlight, it was an impossible dream.

It was an unattainable light.

"P-please"

"What? you shit!" You bastard, what are you muttering about?"

The actor who lost the light poured out a scream that has been lingering in heart.

"Please leave me alone, you fucking bastards!"

The violently swinging fist hit the thug's right cheek.

Instead of strength, the fist filled with anger and resentment returned to the actor's cheek without stopping.

Of course, it was impossible for the two young men in the back to stand still after seeing one of their own get hit.

"Oh, This bastard is out of his mind!"

Soon, a one-on-three melee broke out, and all four were covered in splatters of blood.

Seriously, as if one would die if the brawl continued.

"Keuk, kuck.. Fu-wook, fucK!"

After a while, a creditor breathed heavily and wheezed as he wiped the blood from his nose.

"You bastard! Do you think we'll let you off if you do this? Just wait, We'll come back tomorrow and step on you so you can't even raise your head."

Kim Seonwoo hoped that the three men who growled at him so many times would get away from sight.

Seeing the pile of blood-splattered and torn scripts left on the ground.

A laugh suddenly burst out of him as he lay down on it, which had already turned into garbage.

"Pu- hehehe"

He couldn't stop laughing even as he spit out curse words that he couldn't say back then.

Ironically, the tears on his eyes mixed with blood stained it with the color red.

"...Acting"

He wanted to perform.

That's all the thought currently swirling in his mind.

He guess, he was expecting too much.

*shivers*

Drip- Drip

A drop of water running down on his cheek soaked the words written in the script.

No, it permeated throughout the writing.

Tragedy.

Even the swaying eyes gradually distorted.

The throbbing pain screamed out, but somehow he didn't care.

'Acting...'

Just one word that sounded like a complaint from his heart, for quite a long time.

'I want to do it, Acting...'

Relaxing after a few deep breaths.

'....'

Eventually, the pain in his body gradually faded, as if the sensation was cut off.

The moment when the dark clouds began to rise in front of his roaring eyes.

A strange sensation covered his whole body.

'W-what is this?'

And then.

The trembling eyes were completely closed for the final time.

As if to prepare for the next act in life.

Like on a stage closing the curtain at the end of a play.

** ** **
TL/N:

1.popular area for its hip student bars and cafes, and artsy hangouts like Marronnier Park, with outdoor musical and theater performances.

2. MC speaking that noose on his head being secured tightly