Those would be the first thoughts on Jake’s mind, if he hadn’t been confused as fuck. He was sure that guy with a circular saw was a killer, because his friend John now had a silt through his torso where his heart should be. It might have been the shock but Jake felt something was off. Beyond the whole, y’know, murdery guy chasing him, John wasn’t first victim material. Not a woman, minority or black. He was blonde with hair down to his ti – pecs, that did fit with the trope of blonde cheerleader dieing screaming. From his corner in the flimsy closet, Jake went over what did happen that night.

It was a cold night in October. Not Halloween, but the frat bros already had their haunted house set up. Jake and his roommate had decided to endure a horror movie marathon on a frat bet. John was a member of the frat, but didn’t live in the frat. Somehow, being in guys only dorm freaked John out. Jake shared the feeling, but he was too geeky to ever be a frat guy. They had just made it through Evil Dead 2 and were moving onto the Aliens portion of the marathon bet. No army of darkness, just horror. A ring on Jake’s flip phone confirmed the pizza was there, and John offered to get it.

That was the first mistake.

The second was John running back to the dorm room, whisper yelling Jake to hide in his closet.

The third was counting on the dorm door to be anything but cheap.

The fourth and final mistake was John trying to tackle the stranger to the ground.

John didn’t last long, The shower of blood was not hard to see. As Jake held his breath, blood sprayed through the shody doors.

“Heheheha….one down….seven….seven cheerleaders to go. Seven more, seven more~ dumby dumb fakey fake cheerleaders~ Hehehaahahahha!”

Jake was stuck on that line, why did that stalker call John a….Hang on, what was that next to Jake

“Wh-what’s this box? Strange, I’ve never seen John take this out. ‘Private, keep out unless John has told you can open this.’ Well, its a little late for secrets roomie, was this why that guy…”

As John opened the lid, noting a lack of dust on it, he was stunned.

“What the hell? Isn’t this the uniform of that chick Titania on the cheer squad? And….rubber boobs? Oh gd, theres a pink diary. What was John hiding this for….maybe the diary has answers?”

Jake flipped to the back, to the recent entries

‘October First, 2005.

Oh God, I think someone’s stalking the GSA now. It’s hard to get evidence but I swear I saw someone outside the window of the abandoned house we meet in. I keep begging Peggy Bickering to cancel the Halloween drag show, but she swears no one’s gonna do anything. “We’re in Connecticut, its a queer friendly state.”

I hope your right Peggy, for all us trannies sakes.

October 5^th

Tiffany has the same feeling as me, someone followed her to the frat. Rather, followed ‘Sebastian’ to the frat. This isn’t good. Are they targeting the cheer squad? I thought we passed pretty well. For Christ’s sake, preppy Jenny is our flier. Thank god she’s had the chop otherwise those footballers would get an eyeful of sausage with a side of meatballs. How does she have that kind of confidence, what a bitch.

October 9^th

We’ve swapped people around a bit, the cheer squad let the trans women among us stay over at the sorority. Strictly temporary, because they merely tolerate us. I can’t pass and I’m not out to my roomie, so no dice for me.

13^th

Peggy, you homosexual idiot, you’ve doomed us all. It ain’t a friday the thirteenth, but our luck sure is that bad. The Stalking’s gotten worse, the meeting house is being torn down, but the frat has issued a Halloween themed hazing. And Peggy, oh that bitch. She’s gone into the closet and doubled down on the drag night. I’m to go as Sally from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. At least the costumes….kinda easy? At least it ain’t fucking Buffy.

17^th

Peggy changed her mind, I’m going as Buffy. God. Fucking. Damn. It.

21^st

Movie Marathon’s tonight. I can’t wait anymore, I have to out myself to Jake and book it to the sorority. They’ve got a safe room in the basement. I’ll wait until after Aliens to tell Jake. Just in case I don’t make it that far, and you’ve found this Jake. Well, heres my truth.’

“I, Johnny Winters, am actually a transgender woman named Titania living incognito as a frat bro for my own safety. If your reading this, I assume I’m dead. You can have all my shit and, just in case, wanting to be a girl is a sign of being a girl. Love, Titania. What the fuck? Oh, there’s a PS….taser in pompoms what does she mean taser in….”

Jake’s wandering hand felt something cold and hard. He pulled on it and found he was holding one of the pompoms. Holding it properly, he felt a covered switch resting under his index finger. He flicked the cover and upon a press the bottom zapped to life.

“….oh. Well, best I can get I guess. I’d better try and call the other….cheerleaders? Would J- Titania have their numbers?”

Jake clambered out of the closet, holding tight to the pompom. He tried to not vomit at the sight of his roommate’s lump of a corpse. Then he realized he have to get the phone. He gulped, and went for the right jean pocket. The body was still warm, and so soft. The jeans resisted, but the phone slid out. And now Jake’s hand was covered in blood. He shuddered, and thumbed through to the contacts to find a group text labeled cheer squad. Squinting, he realized that the one labeled Matilda was also among those not safe at the sorority, and so was Bitch. That was probably Peggy.

He dialed Matilda, who picked up almost immediately.

“Hey girl, how did it go?”

Jake froze. Of course she knew about Titania’s plan, they were bffs. Apparently his gulp of despair was heard over the speaker.

“You good Titania?”

“I- this is her roommate. I uh, her plan didn’t happen.”

“What?! What happened?! Don’t tell me you kicked her out?”

“God no, but Its worse. I read her diary and uh. I think I met your stalker, and the fucker has a circular saw.”

“Okay but like, how the fuck do I know you aren’t the stalker?”

“Did that creep ever harass you over the phone?! There isn’t time for that, I’m holding my roomates blood covered phone and trying not to hurl! John’s dead! Er, sorry Titania’s fucking dead! Matilda? Matilda!”

“He’s not going to annnnnswer~”

“Oh no.”

“Looks like I missed the benchwarmer, silly me! I’ll take care of you very soon, you elusive closet case~ First, I need to finish off number 2, hee-hee! Say goodbye faggot. C’MON SAY IT!”

“I….Guhgoodbye girl, run peggy-doesn’t-answer Tandshe’sinTo- KHUTHHHHH”

Static filled the reciever, and Jake knew he was a dead man standing. Well, dead person. Titania’s final message filled his head like a sour warhead. Too sour, and it damn near overwhelmed him.

“C’mon j...well, whoever I am. No time for that shit, get the maglite and get to….the Townes dorm. Yeah, theres only one with to. Sorry, Im taking the trainers slippers arent made to run in.”

Jake made it, completely out of breath. He pounded on the dorm door to be greeted with a bored RA, slightly high.

“Chill out! Jeez, what’s with you, your in cat pjs and holding a pompom? Shit, are you one of the cheer squad? I can never remember their faces.”

A stroke of luck. Jake tried to pitch his voice up a bit.

“I uh, like, I’m here to see Peggy? She wanted to go over makeup and stuff, I’m the benchwarmer.”

“Peggy? Shit uh….wait do you mean patrick, the fairy on floor two. Dude’s suuuuuuper chill, I’ll take you to him.”

“Oh uh, yeah him. Please hurry, I uh.”

“No worries follow me. Elevator’s busted so I hope you don’t mind the stairs girl.”

On the second flight of stairs his brain caught up with him.

“Say, what’s your name?”

Jake panicked, he hadn’t thought this far. Something, anything. Not titania, not matilda. God that voice hurt his throat fierce. Anything not taken.

“S-sorry, I don’t get out much.”

“Sally? Nice meetin you Sally! Shit, I was just watchin a movie with a gal named that. Some blue chick? Anyway, lemme just- HEY PAT ONE OF YOUR CHICKIES IS HERE, IM LETTIN HER IN.”

The door was unlocked and Sally was pushed in.

“Okay, Who in the fu-”

“Sally, er I mean jake. Titania’s roomie, and she was right dickhead. Someone’s after the cheer squad and he thinks im one of them. He’s probably on his way here.”

“Pfffft what is this? Did Titania put you up to this?”

Jake grabbed the short theater kid by the shoulders and shook him.

“TITANIA’S DEAD, MATILDA TOO. I SAW TITANIA GETTING CUT LIKE A BLOCK OF MAHOGANY, WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE GIRL.”

“Oh….oh god this isn’t a prank, is it?”

“No shit! Now get a weapon, he can cut through the dorm doors.”

“How in the fuck?”

“Circular saw.”

As if on cue, a reving tore at the door, and a spinning hunk of silver peeked through.

“Jesus h christ. Alright Ill-oh sugartits. Girl, window now. WINDOW NOW.”

The theater kid, in nightie and tights, dove through the window, and Sally followed suit. A sickening crunch broke Jake’s fall.

“fuck.”

“Did I break something?”

“My shin. Hurry up and give me a hand, we gotta run. Theater. Now.”

“Why not the sorority?”

“Ill explain in a bit, now fucking help me uuuu-oh that foot shouldn’t be that direction should it?”

Peggy’s foot was at a stiff right angle, lined up with his calf. Jake offered a shoulder and the pair stumbled across campus to the theater. Upon staggering to the backstage area, Jake got his answer. The building was cinderblock and the doors were metal. Ones which he locked behind him. He propped Peggy up on the couch and sat in an armchair across from her.

“Fuck, you did a number there girl.”

“Sorry, but it was your idea. So uh, yeah things went bad.”

“How bad?”

“Well, I got rung from the pizza place, then Titania went and got it. Then she raced back in, and told me to hide in the closet. Then….that creep cut her open.”

“I….jesus fuck you alright?”

“Not realy but that’s not the part getting to me. We’re in a fuckin horror movie and thats still not the problem.”

“Then what is? I mean, we aren’t goin anywhere soon. Got nothin to do but talk, there’s no reception here.”

Jake let out a sigh.

“Well, I found her diary, and she was planning on coming out to me tonight after aliens. Then book it for the sorority safehouse. Her last message ended with something like uh, ‘if you want to be a girl thats being a girl.’ Don’t know why but that shit’s stuck with me. You’d think it would be the geyser of blood but no.”

“You got some on your face, but uh gender’s givin you trouble?”

“Why should I care at this point, I’m just a nerdy guy who’s gonna die in the second act. “

“Well….shit. You got a point but uh, if your just a nerdy guy why was titania the first victim?”

“Well she’s a blonde, its either a blonde girl or a black person who are the traditional first victims in horror.”

“Okay, so uh. I’m not an expert on horror, but isn’t usually the best friend of that girl the one who lives? The whatcha call it.”

“Final girl, but how could I be a final girl? I’m not mousy enough.”

“God your dense as shit.”

“Huh?”

“If you wanna be a girl, you ARE one. This ain’t a sorority hazing….”

“huh. Well, I’m gonna try and process that.

“My turn. Question: what the fuck do you mean, safe room?”

“What?! Titania said there was a safe room in the basement of the sorority?”

Peggy chuckled, “Oh girl, that was torn out when title 9 went through. They had a whole party. Did Titania seriously think there was one still down there?”

“B-but she wrote about it in her diary? If there’s no safe room then….”

“The other cheer squad members are in danger. Oh god, thats at least 20 girls. There’s no fuckin way you’d be able to help them.”

“20? That guy only mentioned 7, and then listed me as the benchwarmer.”

“7? 7….oh shit. He’s going after the transwomen on the team. Well, transwomen and one drag queen, moi. Counting me out, along with T and M that leaves 4 girls. You have a chance, a slim one, but a chance to save em. I sure as shit can’t do anything for them, but theres a landline in here. I can call the emts and cops.”

“Cool, anything else I should know?”

“Yeah uh, the Sorority kicked most of the girls out yesterday. So their probably at their dorms, I’ll make you a list. Tifany lives in a frat so the creeper would have to be plain stupid to attack there…”

“Shit! Someone’s broken in! Get the bats! Why would anyone break in here?!”

A revving started upstairs.

“shitshitshitNO YOU FUCKING DON’T!”

And then the sound of a someone tumbling down the stairs. The reving continued.

“Just what the hell is this dude?”

“I….I think he’s after me guys.” said Sebastion

“Oh so now the crossdresser admits it. Four bodies into a frat. Well now, if you’ll just step aside this’ll only take a minute~”

“I….no time to process that. I’m the quarterback and you ain’t getting near em.”

And then something the creep didn’t expect. He was tackled to the ground. Barely.

“Jesus he’s ripped, Seb get the hell outta here. I’m pretty sure the theater has metal – “

BANG

“hcuk!”

“Aw how sweet, the star jock protecting his cheerleader crush. How quaint. Too bad it’d never work out in bed. Now, little cheerleader, where were we?”

“Okay he took down Brad, everybody fucking scram!”

“B-brad….I loved you.”

“Oh how Romeo and Juliet of you. Now just run into my saw and we’ll call it suicide on the coroner’s report.”

“Oh fuck you. Seb, get out now! Run you idiot!”

“What’s the point if Brad’s not there…”

A football teammate picked up Tiffany in a fireman carry and lept out the window at the end of the hall. He landed in a roll, protecting her.

“You good?”

“Yeah I think I’m-

BANG

“AGUH.”

Blood poured from a seared hole in her thigh.

“Now now, where are you going, my prey? Good faggots roll over and die~”

“I’ll buy you time. I think Brad said to get to the theater. RUN!”

Tiffany obliged, and broke into a hindered sprint.

“My goodness, you jocks really do just have one braincell between the lot of you.”

“Two of them, dipshit!”

Brad did a flying tackle from the window onto the creep, knocking the wind out of both him and the creep.

 

“Alright, that’s four girls out of the equation. Now you’ve got preppy Jenny, goth Jenny, and Alex to worry about. You get to the Jennies, and I’ll call Alex once I hang up. Lucky for you, the Jennies live in the same dorm. Different floors, since preppy Jenny’s full transitioned.”

“Okay cool, but why did you insist on putting me in a costume dress?”

“Blood on your clothes, and you look more like a scared girl right now. Gotta call Alex now, bye!”

Clack!

“Well, that was rude! Hey, why are the lights out? Oh god whats this….”

A yellow piece of printer paper informed her that power was out in the dorm. Yellow, with blood on the corner.

Jake steelled….themself and entered. The maglight was very effective, but Jake wished they hadn’t turned the damn thing on.

Bodies and blood. Parts, everywhere. At least five people if not more. How long had the killer been here? They stepped over a stretched out intestine, and squeeze past a body and onto the stairs. They made it to the floor of the first Jenny. The goth. There was more blood, no bodies. More like a dripping trail, ending at the door of Jenny’s room. Jake braced themself and peered in with the light to find….nothing. Just a disarray of furniture. No blood anywhere. Jake sighed heavily.

“Hey uh, Peggy sent me. There some kinda stalker around campus. I….I was Titania’s roomie. If either Jenny is here, I’m here to help.”

Dust fell in the flashlight’s beam. Jake shined it up and a drop ceiling tile slid aside.

“Preppy Jenny needs a shoulder, she got her leg cut off. Where are we heading?”

“Theater, last I checked circular saws couldn’t cut through concrete and metal.”

A tiny, shivering girl was lowered into Jake’s arms. Her right leg ended at the knee, the stump wrapped up in a bloodied sweater. Another girl dropped from the ceiling, and finally one more.

“Okay so uh, I know there’s two Jennys, but whose that?”

The third girl made an eep and goth Jenny whispered in her ear.

“I….I’m Heather. I’ve been in a situation like this before. Back when I was….a monster.”

“I think we’re all transwomen here, is what she’s saying. She was with preppy Jenny when that guy attacked. Preppy Jenny here defended the poor new girl and then Heather told us to hide in the ceiling when they got to me. I think it’s been a couple of hours.”

“We can talk more later, but we gotta get to the theater. Peggy’s waiting for us.”

Heather snapped her fingers, “Good call! Lots of stuff that guy couldn’t cut through, and lots of hiding spots that don’t involve getting into a ceiling.”

Titania’s phone rang, and Jake answered it.

“I found the Jennies! And a Heather!”

“Alex won’t answer. Tiffany is here and bleeding out. We’re going to hide because the doors have started to rattle. For the love of god I hope you guys make it out. Cops are on the w-”

The line went dead.

“Oh. Oh god. Peggy’s in danger we gotta hurry.”

“How? How in the fuck do we take done someone who took down a fraternity just to get to one of us? We’re fucking dead.”

Heather cleared her throat.

“Ladies, have you heard of cherry bombs?”

The creep sighed, pleased at his work. The room sure couldn’t be called a green room anymore, more of a red or scarlett now.

“Hehehhehoho, I’ve outdone myself tonight. Just three more brats, and one surprise guest.”

“You rang, fucker?”

“Oh who the shit are you-”

Something rolled to the creeps feet.

“You really think this is gonna stop me?”

The cherry bomb exploded, burning the shins of the stalker. He fell backwards.

“No, but I think this’ll shut you up. The name’s Sally, creep.”

Sally accentuated the word creep with a jab of her pom pom. The electrified pom pom. He fell limp onto his back. Sally quickly tied up the creep with some cord provided by Heather. Sirens sounded in the distance. Sally sighed and fell back into the armchair, trying not to look at what was left of Peggy.

Sally didn’t drink, but this was certainly the time to start. She wasn’t sure when she passed out, or when the cops found her. Sally just knew she was, for the first time, truly alive.