Out here on Puran, another backwater of the galaxy, with nothing but vast grass stretching to the horizon and the sun beating down hard, my mind can't help but wander back to Renee. I'm stranded, waiting for a ride to take me deeper into this desolate wilderness, all for a chimera that Renee believes is hidden in the planet's core. It feels like a wild goose chase, but for Renee, I'd trek to the edge of the galaxy and back. As the heat shimmers in the air, I feel the urge to write down about my journey so far away from Earth, where I was born. For me, Renee is the journey and the destination. I'm thinking back to a defining moment in our days together—the recent Festival of Becoming.
That night was an assault on the senses, a riot of colors, sounds, and bodies in motion. Amid the festival's buzz, I found myself adrift, my Earth-style one-piece suit marking me as an outsider. I had spent the past few moons in the absence of Renee, who was traveling to another system. The days of solitude, filled with anticipation for Renee's return, had led me to this moment. I had dedicated myself to transforming my body, hoping to make Renee happy, to show them my commitment not just to our connection but to this new life in the galaxy.
Yet, as I stood there, the physical changes I was so proud of felt insignificant, overshadowed by the awkwardness of my attire and the pronounced bulge beneath the fabric that spoke of an Earth-bound masculinity I was still unlearning. Humans from many worlds moved around me with confidence, their appearances ranging from translucent fabrics that played with light to natural, unadorned forms, each one a sight to behold. On the other hand, I had hidden my attire with a long coat.
As I walked among the crowd, Mardina, a friend of ours, stood out like a megastar. Towering and statuesque, her very presence commanded attention, her physique a masterpiece of strength and grace. Clad in attire that seemed to enhance rather than conceal her formidable form, she moved with a self-assurance that seemed to warp the space around her. The subtleties of her interactions, the ease with which she navigated the crowd, her sheer power, it all made sense that she was one of Renee’s most intimate and trusted friends. This bond between them stirred a complex wave of emotions within me, a blend of admiration, envy, and a still-developing understanding of the intricate web of relationships that defined this galaxy, beyond the forgotten concerns of Earth.
At the heart of this whirlwind of activity and light was Renee, the true embodiment of the festival's exuberance and majesty. They were surrounded by a group of their closest friends, each drawn to Renee's radiant persona like moths to a flame. The moment I saw them, my heart skipped a beat. Renee's outfit was striking, designed with a weave of fabrics that caught the festival lights, making them shimmer with every movement. The materials were crafted to complement their supreme muscular physique, each piece tailored to enhance the definition of their muscles.
The outfit was both a celebration of their physical prowess and an artistic expression. It was clear that every element, from the choice of fabric to the cut, was chosen with care to accentuate Renee's commanding presence. On top of it, Renee adorned a rich hat or a crown I would say, whose feathers rose high.
Witnessing Renee in their element always led to a small, but profound shift in my perception. To them, gender norms mattered not. Feeling dwarfed by the spectacle and the ease with which others celebrated their forms, I retreated to a silent sitting spot, wrestling with a sense of exposure that clung tighter than my attire. I was trying to keep to myself and just nibbling on some snacks, when out of nowhere, Renee made their move. Without any warning, they grabbed my arm firmly but not too hard, and we were suddenly passing through the crowd at a brisk pace, with Renee dragging me along.
The whole thing happened so fast that I barely had time to react. One moment I was sitting there, feeling out of place, and the next, I was being led away, dodging between clusters of partygoers as Renee guided us with purpose. We slipped through the mass of bodies and lights, the music and laughter fading behind us as we entered a quieter, more secluded room, away from the festival's fervor. Renee's confident grip assured me as we moved, their intent clear even in the absence of words.
Inside the room, Renee dropped my hand and had me standing against a wall. Seeing them from a distance was one thing, but to witness them—clad in the most gorgeously vivid outfit, sexier than anything I’d seen on earth—was another experience altogether. I am sure that my face must have gone red with blushing as a smiling Renee stood in front of me, the tender touch of their eyes holding me in complete command. At the same time, their familiar scent had taken up whatever senses I still had remaining.
“Running away from me, Cuco? That’s not very good, my jaanana,” Renee's soothing, authoritative voice seemed to echo in my mind.
For a moment, I was just silent. I had long imagined what our meeting after months would be like, I had rehearsed lines I would say to them. But now, I was out of words, and breath.
“I see the habit of going deep in thought has not changed, my jaanana,” Renee’s long, soft, beautifully crafted hand rose and they started caressing my left cheek with the back of their warm fingers. “But come out of it for me, would you? I have not heard your voice for so long.”
My face was tilting towards their hand. “I…I…am happy to see you again, Renee.”
Their response was to keep smiling and softly running their fingers over my face.
“You look…you look so…so…unreal,” I barely managed to translate my jumbled thoughts into a sentence.
At this, Renee just gave a small chuckle. “Ah, the words I desired to hear. Come here, janaana, let me feel your warmth,”
I was about to lean into them to embrace them when suddenly their hands went to my shoulders and held me back.
“What is this, janaana? You are not dressed for the festival?” Renee said softly, but to me, it felt like a rebuke. I was still donning the long coat to cover what I had worn beneath.
I leaned back on the wall. “I…did, my Janama.”
There was a subtle, but palpable shift in Renee’s expression. Their hands slid from my shoulder down to the front where the coat was tied in knots. They went about untying them, one by one with deliberation, while giving me glances. At that moment, I simply wanted to be taken by Renee but if they had taught me anything, it was patience. I was deep in these thoughts when the coat fell to the floor. I stood there, in front of Renee, all exposed and vulnerable. The most embarrassing part was my rising bulge.
There was a muted gasp from Renee. Their playful eyes met mine.
“Janaana, your beauty stuns me,” Renee said, and then drew me close to them, with our bodies touching. With one hand holding my back, they started feeling the curves of my arms with the other one. “Mmmm, you have been working,” Their fingers pressed into my skin, leaving temporary imprints. “This is the greatest gift, Jananaa,” Renee said while appreciating my body.
Of course, I was ecstatic. This was the moment I had waited for many moons. I had imagined, mulled over, and rehearsed this. But now that it was happening, I only found myself lost in it. Only a soft peck on my lips from Renee brought me back to reality.
“You look delicious. If I could, I would eat you now. But Janaana, we must make our appearance together at the festival. The fireworks will start soon,” Renee said and slowly let go of me. I was still reeling from that moment.
Renee looked directly at me. “Also, my dear Cuco, I want to decorate you with something that befits you. Will you allow me?”
I could say nothing but simply nod. When Renee asked me for something, I only nodded. So, they again held my hand and took me outside the room, back into the party.
Back in the main hall, Renee found a pair of earrings, their design simple but striking, catching the festival lights in a way that drew attention without being overly ostentatious. They sat me down and placed those heavy earrings on both my ears. Then, in a move that was pure Renee, they topped off my transformation with a hat adorned with feathers, styled like an Earth-type mohawk. It was a bold choice, far from anything I'd have picked for myself, but at that moment, it felt like the missing piece of a puzzle I hadn't realized was incomplete.
With my new attire, we moved through the festival crowd, Renee introducing me with a sense of pride that was hard to miss. The way they spoke about me, you'd think I was someone of significance here, not just a stranger from a distant world. The crowd's reaction shifted noticeably, their looks now tinged with respect or perhaps curiosity. When the night sky exploded with the colors of the fireworks, Renee pulled me in for a kiss as intense as the lights above us, sending a rush of blood through my veins.
Then Renee took me to their private balcony, sitting on top of the court. On that high balcony, the skyline of Chamaktasi appeared beneath us. We sat in the Capital of the planet Shimara, the center of the Talahaya System, the heart of the galaxy. The once overwhelming sounds of the festival now felt distant, a muted soundtrack to our private moment. Renee and I sat close on the diwan. The rhythm of the city's pulse below mirrored the steady beat of our hearts. The skyline, with its soaring structures and the graceful arcs of flying vehicles, painted a picture of a civilization at the peak of its flourish, yet at this moment, it served merely as the backdrop to this moment with Renee.
Here, on this balcony, with the panoramic view of Chamaktasi, Renee and I shared a moment that transcended the physical space we occupied, a connection that was as profound as the endless night sky and as intimate as the quiet that surrounded us. In many coming works, I will be elaborating more on these kinds of moments.
For now, I think I have found a ride into the grassy deserts of Puran. I must go deep into the continent to find what Renee seeks. It is going to be a long journey and only my memories of Renee will serve as my companion. So, I’ll be back.
