"Em. Are you ready yet?" Cáit grumbled, a little annoyed that it took me half an eternity to eat breakfast. "Don't worry," I giggled, "Sara said yesterday that the quest wasn't that difficult and should only take a few hours."
"Okay lass. Listen up. Lesson number one - when Sara says a quest isn't very difficult," Cáit muttered, "You should never believe her. Especially not when you're supposed to find a few odds and ends for a client. Needle and haystack... need I say more?"
"All right," I nodded as I calmly finished my coffee, "So if I ever need to find some screws in a dungeon full of scrap, I'll know now."
"You're not taking me seriously, are you?" Cáit muttered miffed before asking, "What do we need to get anyway?"
"Some large metal plates for a carriage. Looks like some coachman is trying to save money, and it seems cheaper to hire us than to have someone make new ones. Fine by me," I shrugged, but Cáit's face twisted into a grimace, "What kind of shitty job is this? How many do we need to complete the quest?" 
I looked at the note and grinned, "Only five. Any more we find is extra money. But hey... you have to look on the bright side. At least the metal plates are big. Looking for a few screws would actually be a lot more annoying."

It was a classic beginner's collection quest - absolutely unspectacular and, above all, not particularly challenging. Search for a handful of large metal plates in a dungeon full of junk and rubbish.

"I really had to get up for that," Cáit said frustrated.
"And I thought you got up for me," I teased Cáit.
"Yes. I'm just too good a person," Cáit murmured, "How about taking me out for an ice cream later? Or a piece of cake? As a little thank you for letting me look after your bum."
"Whatever you want," I replied, "I'm in the mood for chocolate anyway.
Let's ignore the fact that Sara had ordered her to accompany me. I didn't really care about a couple of Yorkies for some ice cream and Cáit seemed happy with this promise and stopped nagging for the time being.

After I put on my jacket we set off. 

She took me out of town and I was able to see a bit more of the surrounding countryside for the first time. It wasn't very spectacular, and it quickly became apparent that the further we got from the city, the less impressive and the poorer the area became. 
"Sara should have just refused this quest," Cáit said on the way, "At your speed it will take us a good two hours to get there and back for just a few Yorkies. Fortunately, we only have to enter the dungeon you already know. None of the more distant ones."
"At least I'll get to see a bit of the area," I said indifferently, "And think about it in a different way. We will go to the dungeon, look for the items and leave the dungeon. I'll even make it home unscathed. Easy money."
"I'd be very surprised if we didn't," Cáit winked at me, "You've got your oversized walking stick now. I'm sure it'll keep us safe."
I figured she'd make fun of my choice of weapon at some point. But Cáit knew that I preferred blunt weapons and that I knew how to use them.

Cáit was wrong in her estimate - it took us an hour and a half to cover the distance, although I hadn't even dawdled. But when we arrived at the entrance, we were surprised to find a large crowd waiting to be let into the dungeon. 
"What's going on?" Cáit asked one of the men present and he angrily replied, "We have no idea. Yesterday we got in without a problem. Today there are some guards blocking the way."
"Interesting," muttered Cáit, "the security of this dungeon is the responsibility of the Treasure Hunters Guild. No one informed us of this. And I know that the Steam Ghost has definitely been defeated, as Em and I personally dealt with it on the sixth level last week."
"I don't know. They won't tell us the reason," the man replied, annoyed, "All I know is that they won't let us in today. We are all losing a lot of money right now."
I could understand the man's anger - if my livelihood depended on it, I would probably be in a bad mood too. Especially as it wasn't the first time recently that the dungeon had been closed to the public.
"Have you informed the Merchant's Guild about this?" Cáit asked the group, and one of them replied, "We sent two men back into town this morning. But they haven't returned yet."
"We're pretty sure no one from the Merchant's Guild gave us any information until two hours ago. We're actually here for a collection, not to find out why they're blocking the entrance," I explained, "it's just a coincidence that we're here right now. 
For once in my life, it would have been nice if everything had gone according to plan. Cáit seemed to think the same, because she just muttered, "Lass, you attract trouble like magic, don't you?"
"Don't blame me. I'm innocent," I groaned in frustration.

By this time, Cáit had had enough and went to the entrance to find out more. 
"What the fuck?" she asked one of the guards blocking the entrance, "as far as I know - you have no business here."
"At the behest of the Adventurers' Guild and the Duke Chamberbride, the dungeon is closed to the public for the time being," the guard said unimpressed, "I'm afraid we can't let anyone in here for security reasons."
The man was wearing a rather noble-looking suit of leather armour, emblazoned with the Duchy's crest.
"Interesting," Cáit replied, "since when did the Adventurers' Guild in Dubstep take an interest in a dungeon they had already cleared out and emptied? Apparently that is the case in some of the neighbouring towns - but not here."
"What do I know? I'm only following my orders," said the guard.
"And even more mysterious - since when does Chamberbride care about what goes on in the dungeons? If the order really comes from him, then theoretically one of you should be able to show me an official letter," Cáit grinned. 
"Why would we do that, brat?" the man asked uncooperatively.
"I have no idea. Maybe..." Cáit began, and I added, "...because our guild would know if our dungeon was closed to the public for some reason?"
"So show me the official letter from Duke Chamberbride or fuck off and get out of my way," Cáit demanded of the guard. 

When the man made no effort to comply, Cáit simply pushed him aside, causing the man to fall. Of course, this immediately alerted the other three guards, who had previously made no attempt to intervene. "The same goes for you three puppets," Cáit threatened, "Either you show me an official document or you fuck off." 
Cáit was a head taller than me, but certainly not much stronger. So there was no way she could push a soldier or guard away like a little child. 
While I was dealing with the man on the ground with my walking stick, as Cáit affectionately called it, she was dealing with the other three men who had foolishly decided to take her on in front of the scrap collectors present. It was a rather pointless exercise as some of the scrap collectors came to our aid. 
"I'll give you that," Cáit muttered, "At least your disguise is believable enough to fool the lads over there. But I'm afraid you've chosen the wrong place to do strange business today." The four men standing guard were then tied up and wrapped around a tree a few yards from the entrance. 
"Sorry, fellas," Cáit said to the waiting men, "But I have to close the dungeon for now until we know what's going on. I hope you understand." 
If there was one thing more important to the scrap collectors than money, it was their lives, so to my surprise they listened to Cáit without a murmur. Two of the collectors who had come on horseback even offered to inform our guild.

"And now?" I asked Cáit as the waiting crowd began to thin, "There are only two of us. And we can't let them out of our sight."
"We can question them until our backup is here," Cáit grinned, "Maybe they'll tell us something useful."
Now that they were tied to a tree, the four of them no longer looked so strong and fearsome. To my great surprise, however, they didn't scream for help either - probably because they were too embarrassed for anyone to see that they had been caught by two girls.
"You won't get a word out of us," one of the guards said in our direction, immediately earning a kick in the balls from her.
"Is there anyone else here who refuses to cooperate with us?" she asked, "If so, I'm sure Em would love to try out her walking stick on you."
To underline her words, I punched one of the men in the stomach, leaving him gasping for breath. Unlike Cáit, I had some qualms about hitting a man in the genitals - so I decided to go for the stomach. But the man's reaction surprised me. After all, he was wearing leather armour and I hadn't even hit him particularly hard. I felt incredibly bad about it, but even I had realised that something was wrong here. Besides, I'd already learned that people don't hold back when it comes to me.

"Honestly. I'm certainly not going to let two girls beat me up for a few Yorkies. If they end up breaking my hand or leg because we don't give them the information they need, I'll have even more problems," one of the four suddenly began to talk, whereupon the guy Cáit had kicked in the balls earlier cursed at him, "Are you crazy? If they find out we talked to anyone about what is going on, we are dead.
The answer surprised me a little - after all, none of them could rule out that we would do the same if they didn't give us the information we wanted.
"If I have to choose, I'd rather be killed by the guys inside than have to explain to anyone why two little girls defeated us," another muttered, "It's not worth it. We can't even tell them much."
I was really starting to take it personally that everyone was calling me a little girl, but I had no time to hit the guy with my shillelagh as he continued, "We were hired some time ago to stand guard outside the dungeons from time to time. The leather armour was provided by our employer. And if anyone approaches us, we are told to use the story of the Duke and the Guild as an excuse. It has worked quite well the last few times. No one questioned it, so no one got hurt."

"That was actually too easy," I said with a mixture of surprise and relief, "Funny. I wasn't even trying to hurt you before when I punched you in the stomach."
The man I had just punched in the stomach turned pale, while one of the others continued, "We're just simple farmers. Especially at this time of year, we rely on this little extra income to survive until the harvest comes in. So far it has always worked out well. Easy money without much risk".
If their story is to be believed, the four were simply out of luck today. The plan would have worked perfectly if we hadn't decided to go into the dungeon ourselves. I suddenly felt a bit sorry for them. "Show us your status screens," I ordered, "I don't know whether to believe you or not. You could at least prove to us that you really are farmers. To my great surprise, none of the men hesitated, and soon we knew that at least this part of the story was not a lie. Of course, there could still be something wrong with this story, but I was probably being a little too naive.

"Who hired you?" Cáit asked and one of them explained, "We don't have any names for you. We get our orders and our money from a middleman.”
I didn't even get to ask my next question, because the man I'd just punched in the stomach suddenly said, "And to answer your next question: There are about 10 people in there. Some of them are heavily armed.”
"Fantastic. A bunch of bandits," Cáit said sarcastically, "I would be interested to know what they are looking for in the dungeon. It must be something special, otherwise there would be no need for such an arranged stunt."
While I was still considering the situation, Cáit said to our prisoners, "Boys, I've got some bad news for you. As soon as they find what they are looking for, they will kill you to erase all traces. The men swallowed for a moment, and Cáit almost shouted at the four idiots, "Are you really that naive? This dungeon is open to the public. Anyone can enter it. There is no need to put on a show like this."
The silence of the four men was oppressive as Cáit suddenly added, "Boys. What did you expect? They went heavily armed into an abandoned dungeon where their biggest enemy was a pack of big rats. They're up to something in there."

I hadn't taken my eyes off the entrance in the last few minutes, but I had a bad feeling if there really were up to ten armed men inside. "What do we do with them?" I asked and and she just shrugged, "Use them as bait, kill them. I don't really care. Let's wait and see who's sent to reinforce us. Besides, catching riffraff is actually the job of the Adventurers' Guild. I'm definitely not interested in risking my bum for them. Seriously, I'd rather we just go and leave the four of them tied up here." 
After my first encounter with the Adventurers' Guild, I rather had the impression that they would do nothing to support us. The four guys were apparently listening to Cáits words as their expressions changing from despair to panic.
"Can we just let them go," I whispered into Cáits ear, a little naively, "The four are definitely not the brightest candles on the cake, but they didn't hurt anyone. I don't think they are even strong enough to do that." 
"Fine by me," Cáit said, surprisingly indifferent, "If they really are farmers, they won't be safe anywhere as long as nobody takes care of the group inside."
Then she calmly said to me, "Honestly - I'm actually a little pissed off about the whole situation. And I know I've been bitching around all day already... but this time I'n not doing it to annoy you." 
I winked at her, "I know," before turning to the four men, "Tell me - how much do you get paid for this work here?"
"About 100 Yorkies. That's a lot of money for us," replied the man who had been the most talkative so far. 
"Hmm," I thought, "I might have an idea. Since you seem to need money so badly, how about doing something for me? Something that's probably more in line with your actual qualities."

"Speak," said one of the men and I began to explain, "We will let you go. It doesn't matter to us whether you die here or somewhere else. But if, against all odds, you live to see tomorrow, we'll meet you in Dubstep, outside the entrance to the Treasure Hunters' Guild. There will be a nice young lady waiting to pay you some money for a little work. But you will have to take off your armour. It might come in handy here."
Under the armour were simple linen clothes, some of them very dirty. It was only then that I realised the men were wearing nothing but canvas shoes.

"Are you seriously going to let them do our garden?" Cáit laughed and I just grinned, "Not only that. I'm sure there's plenty of other work to be done for us. I like to tinker around... but I can't do everything myself."
"You're a little devil," Cáit chuckled.
"But our farms aren't in the direction of Dubstep. For that we would have to..." the man stopped mid-sentence and understood what I was getting at. So did Cáit.
"Fuck. You're really lucky she's such an innocent sweetheart," she muttered and untied the men, "Go to an inn called Hammersmith. The rooms there are cheap. So is the food."
"We need to get our families first," one of the men said, "As soon as they are safe, we will follow your instructions."
"If you're not there, we'll hunt you down. Don't forget, we know your names," Cáit winked. Of course we wouldn't. We definitely had better things to do - but the four of them couldn't have known that.