I wake up in a very cold room, bundled in three white blankets. 

There's an IV tube connected to my left arm, with a bag of blood and some weird opaque fluid in the other bag. On the couch in the room, is Evangeline, asleep. I sit up, but my body is now upset. 

Whatever pain I felt earlier was nothing, the adrenaline blocking most of it. Now my right hand and wrist are screaming. There are stitches all over it and now I understand what happened.

"Evangeline," I say. "Wake up."

She mumbles something incoherently in her sleep and I sigh. I lean back down onto the bed and hate myself for ruining my life in less that twenty four hours.

While trying to go back to sleep, Charlie and Annabelle return. They have snacks in a bag and two visitor tags stuck onto them.

"Evangeline, visiting hours are over," Charlie says. 

He notices me and his face twists in anger.

"You stupid idiot. Why," Charlie asks. "You and Annabelle never think!"

"I'm sorry," I say.

"Charlie stop, he's tired. Leave him be," Annabelle says.

She walks over to the couch and gently wakes Evangeline up. She finally sits up and sees that I'm awake and she gives the biggest smile I have ever seen. She sits next to me on the bed, and runs her fingers through my hair. My heart races, and then she kisses me, making it go even faster.

Everyone laughs when the heart monitor makes louder and louder beeps and I try to not to feel too awkward about it.

"I was so worried. We were all so worried," Evangeline says. "What happened."

My original lie returns to me.

"I tripped," I lie. "I saw it on the floor and wanted to put it in the trash, and I tripped on my way to the kitchen."

Charlie and Evangeline believe me, but Annabelle looks like she doesn't. I think she can tell whenever I'm lying and it scares me. How does she do it? Am I just a bad liar?

"They said they want to keep you until you get enough blood in you, and then you're free to go home," Evangeline says. "Sadly they won't let me stay with you."

"I wish someone would stay, doesn't seem very exciting in here," I reply.

"I think I've had enough excitement today," Annabelle says dryly. "Go back to bed! You gotta get better!"

"Fine," I grumble. 

Charlie says something quietly to Annabelle, and they both leave, probably to give the both of us alone time. I don't want to be alone with Evangeline right because I'm scared to look her in the eyes. She wants nothing to be with me though. She rubs my arm and asks if I'm comfortable. She kisses me more times than I can count to "make up for the missed ones today".

"You're a wonderful nurse," I say.

"'Course I am," she replies. "I want you to be happy."

"Oh."

I make a weird face, and she asks me what's wrong, but I can't tell her. She promises she'll come to get me first thing in the morning, and gives me even more kisses "to make up for the rest of the night". When she finally leaves I feel relieved, then guilty that I'm relieved.

I need to get my life together.

I'm given a stern talking to by a doctor about being more careful, and a bottle filled with painkillers with a giant packet on how to take care of my hand. I feel like a little kid being scolded by the doctor. Again I feel small when they all come to pick me up in the morning because Charlie scolds me as well.

Evangeline is a much more careful driver on the way back, probably because she doesn't want to risk another visit to the hospital. At least we'd be close by. When we get to Edelweiss, they're all kind enough to help me bring my stuff inside, and make sure I don't trip again. When they leave, I realize I am completely helpless.

It's hard to get myself a glass of water to take with my medicine. It's difficult to make a phone call to set up an appointment for physical therapy. I can't aim straight when I pee, and I hate sitting.

After two hours of feeling like a defenseless newborn, Evangeline returns and I feel guilty again. I hold her close on the couch while we watch Netflix together, and she smells so wonderful. She stays the entire night because I don't want to be alone, but at the same time I do. When she leaves in the morning I want her to stay but I'm happy to see her go.

That night I decided on what to do.

When she arrives the next morning, she has a bag filled with all sorts of things. She sets them down on the kitchen table, and starts unpacking it. I take a seat at the table and pick up a puzzle box, which makes me laugh a little. All this attention lately has been making me like a kid and the puzzle box just solidified it.

"Do you like it?  I thought I could help you find something to keep yourself busy since you only got one good hand," she says.

"Oh...thanks," I mumble.

"What's wrong Nick? You can tell me!"

"I'm worried about my new book," I lie. "I think my publisher will be angry with me."

They're actually very understanding about my hand, surprisingly enough. Evangeline doesn't know, but she still tries to offer me her own advice.

"I think you shouldn't write that book anyway," she tells me. "You should keep writing what you're doing now."

I laugh because at first I think she's joking, but then she continues.

"I just don't want you to be disappointed if this book fails," she says.

"Don't say that! I know my fantasy book under my real name wasn't that great, but this time I know what I did wrong!"

"Nick, you gotta think about it! What if you're just wasting your time?"

"I'm not. I just don't want to keep writing romance. I don't even think I'm good at it either. I just put what I think people want. It has no soul."

Evangeline comes over to me and gives me a hug. She runs her fingers through my hair again while we keep talking, and I'm starting to miss it whenever she stops, so I never ask her to.

"I don't like that you don't support my new book," I admit. "It feels like you don't believe in me."

"I believe in you sweetie, I just think that your talents lie...elsewhere. You'll make more money if you keep writing romance too."

I make another split-second decision in anger and say something cruel.

"I don't want to hear that from anyone with no talent."

She stops touching my hair, and I miss it already. I regret the words once they fly out my mouth because she looks like she's going to cry.

"I always feel so inadequate around the three of you," Evangeline says. "You all got something."

"We've talked about this before, you don't have anything to prove! And you have the-"

"Don't. Don't tell me 'you have the diner'," Evangeline warns me. "I never got a choice in if I wanted it. My dad owns it, so he expects me to keep it! I can't even say no. This town needs the damn money from it too."

"I never even thought of that."

"Why would you? You told me a while ago that you didn't think you'd still be here," she shouts.

"I was never meant to stay here," I seethe. "I just wanted to stay for the summer. And then you all just-"

"We all just what? Welcomed you with open arms southern hospitality," Evangeline replies. "Don't be angry because I'm right. Selfish man."

We start arguing about nothing and everything. I know I should just apologize, and that it's probably not even about the book anymore. But I keep going because of the guilt. I want her to hate me. I want to become the bullet she dodged so she feels good when I leave her, or she leaves me. I want to be punished for what I've done, and I feel like my busted hand isn't enough.

We're now shouting at each other, and it's not even about anything important. We're just insulting each other because people become small when they're angry. I don't think I'm even angry still, I just don't want to lose the fight.

"You know what Nick? I don't even want to be here anymore. I come here to help you and all you do is yell at me!"

"All you do is complain about all the nothing that you have," I shout. "At least Annabelle tried!"

Evangeline gives me a death glare and starts packing stuff back into the bag. She shakes her head and this makes me even angrier.

"What is it," I ask.

"Go fuck yourself," she replies. "Then go fuck Annabelle."

"Gladly."

She smacks me and my face stings. I've never been slapped in my life, not even by my parents when I was bad. My nose starts bleeding and I cough a little. I try to pretend it doesn't hurt, but she doesn't care. She's done packing her stuff, and then she leaves. I can hear the engine of her Jeep start from the kitchen and then I feel guilty yet so much better.

I just want her to be happy too but she can't with me.