After healing my broken heart with a friendly banter and dinner, I went to my room and began to scribble on my book.

“I feel bad for Noona, so I have to give it my all.”

Only Ahn Noona and I worked to feed the family in this household.

But since I quit my job now, the burden she had to shoulder just became that much heavier.

Even worse, unlike me, who worked part-time while still attending school, Ahn Noona worked full-time as an accountant in a small company. 

That means, on top of her already long work hours, she might have to work overtime if an emergency arrives or anyone in the family gets sick.

We are going to be fine for the time being, but…

“Should I quit school?”

Unlike Eun, who got a scholarship to a prestigious school due to her intellect, I was somewhat average at school. 

So rather than wasting money on me, who only brings vague results, wouldn’t it be better to save that money so Eun can go to the college she wants?

After all, Eun is the hope of this family.

Of course, I never said that to her outright.

‘Because she would act all smug if I did.’

Plus, I don’t want to put pressure on her unnecessarily.

If anything, I don’t want to pressure her at all. I want to let her be happy and live life as she pleases. 

I wish the same for Noona. She’s barely 20 years old. So it’s not too late for Noona to spend her youth and be happy even now if the opportunity arrives.

The problem is how to find and grab that opportunity.

“Hm?”

A knock. 

That little imp would barge in instead of knocking, so it must be Noona.

“Duho~ Are you there~?”

“Yes. Wait a bit.”

Ahn Noona was smiling when she met my gaze.

“Ah, Duho. I’m sorry, did I interrupt you?”

“Not at all. Please come in.”

“Then, excuse me.”

How polite. I was supposed to be the younger one here, but despite that, she still treated me with respect.

By the way, this room is small, so there are not many places we can sit down. At best, there’s one chair and a bed.

“Please have a seat.”

“Oh… Thank you…”

So I led her to the bed, and we sat beside each other. 

For some reason, though, her face looks flushed. 

I don’t think there’s anything particularly embarrassing about this situation…

‘Hm… Was it because she just came out from a bath? ‘

It could also be because of a fever…

Should I ask?

“Noona.” 

“Yes?”

“Your face looks red. Are you sick?”

“Oh, n-no. It’s nothing.”

“Really? You can tell me anything, you know. If something’s troubling you, then…”

“Oh, Duho…”

She looked touched.

“It’s just… I feel embarrassed.”

“Why?”

“Um… Remember last Sunday? At that time, I thought you went to play with Eun outside. And since I’m off work, I thought it was a good chance to clean both of your rooms, but…”

“But… what?”

“When I was about to enter your room, I heard your voice inside?”

“Hm?”

I had a bad feeling about this.

“Your breathing sounds rough, so I thought you were in pain or something. So I was about to knock and call out to you, but… seeing the door was slightly open, I unintentionally… Really unintentionally, peeked inside, and…”

She glanced at me before looking away.

“You were doing… that? On this bed.”

“Ah...”

Could it be?

“You know, that… m-mastur… masturba–”

“It’s okay! I get it, Noona. So don’t say it.”

“O-Okay. Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay.” 

I can feel my face heating up. 

“Rather, I’m sorry. I should’ve locked the door. No, I shouldn’t have done that in the first place.”

“Oh no, no. I understand. It must be difficult for boys, right? If anything, I might have been too inconsiderate of you all this time.”

“What do you mean?”

“That… I heard boys would hide them under the bed? But even when I cleaned your room later, I never found one… It must be especially hard for you, not to have any. That’s why I thought I should at least buy one before next Sunday, so…”

“Buy one… wait, you didn’t mean.”

“H-Here you go.”

She pushed a shopping bag to me.

I was dumbfounded about the whole situation and was about to refuse. 

But she had already bought it, so there’s no way to get a refund. 

Plus, she gave this with pure goodwill, thinking about what’s good for me, so I would feel bad for refusing this.

“Thank you.”

I accepted it and couldn’t help but take a peek.

It was a porn magazine, as expected. 

What I didn’t expect was the title.

‘What is it?’

It was a forbidden act between a little brother and his busty older sister.

“Noona, did you see the content?”

“Eh? No no, how could I do that? I… I looked away and grabbed the closest one to me… Ah, could it be… did you dislike it?”

She slumped her shoulder.

“No, no. I like it. Sure, it’s a bit… fresh and novel? But it’s a gift from you, Noona, so how could I dislike it?”

“Really? I’m glad.”

She smiled in relief.

“I hope it’s helpful. Please use this next time.”

“... Sure.”

What situation is this?

“Fufu.”

Still, she looked happy, so I’ll just say yes and let her be.

It’s not like I will use this book for real, okay?

“Then, sorry again for intruding. Please excuse me.”

“Eh? That’s it?”

“Yes? Is there anything else?”

“I thought you came here for a more serious talk. You know… Me quitting the job and all that.”

“Oh…”

“I know it was selfish of me to just quit without consulting with you. I know that, but I…”

“Duho.”

“Huh?”

At that moment, she came closer and hugged me softly as if embracing something fragile that was about to break.

“I’m okay. We’re okay. So please don’t worry too much about us.”

“...”

“Even if I look like this, I’m an adult, you know? It’s normal for children to rely on adults. If anything, I’m thankful to you for helping the family all this time. It must be hard to keep up with school too, right? So thank you.” 

She hugged me tighter and rubbed my back.

“It’s okay now, Duho. You don’t have to worry about anything. You’ve suffered enough. So please do what you want from now on.”

That’s supposed to be my line for her.

“Noona…”

“Hm?”

“Should I quit school?”

“If you want to.”

An immediate answer.

“You’re not going to stop me?”

“Nope. It’s okay to do what you want, really. Plus, you’re a good kid, so I know that you won’t do a crime or anything too bad. But even if you did, I will support you as best as I can.” 

“... Rather than allowing it, shouldn’t a good person stop her siblings from doing crime?”

“Then I must be a bad person. And I’m okay with that.” 

She pulled back and smiled.

“Because we’re family. And there’s nothing I love more in the world than you and Eun. As long as you and Eun can live freely and be happy, then that alone means that there’s meaning to my life.”

Freedom. Happiness. Meaning.

The reason such words came out of her mouth might be because those are the things that have been deprived of her since we lost our parents as kids.

In that case, I, too, should work hard to give her back what she had been deprived of.

“Not just us, Noona.”

“Yes?”

“You too. I want you to be free and happy too. And I’m sure Eun felt the same way. Noona, we are fine with hunger and poverty. So please don’t push yourself too much for us.”

“Duho...”

“A bit more… Just wait a bit more… I will surely do something to set you free in 1 year… or 2 years at most. So, please…”

“Yes. I understand.“

She caressed my cheek.

“I will wait as I cheer you on from behind, as always.”

It was then that I realized how my effort had deep meaning beyond revenge.

So, even more than before, I must succeed.

For me, for Ahn Noona, and Eun.

Definitely.

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