Well... that's unfortunate...
And well... that was all there is to it...
Since he, the baby, pretty much came to terms that he was Orochimaru from there on out. Or tried to...
From a peculiar convict that once lived on Earth... he turned to a pedophile cunt that'll slither through the Narutoverse.
He didn't want to be that guy... but he was now that guy.
Which makes it incredibly important to refresh his fresh baby mind on that slithering path...
His life trajectory is pretty much dependent and headed towards it.
So... an outline of the Snake Sannin's minor and major involvements in the Naruto series, and even the Boruto series, must be made.
Maybe even a timeline... with bullet points and all...
--------
But before all that...
"Gosh..." Said a boy with exasperation, especially as he flipped back at all the pages he filled.
Skimming through all the paragraphs he's written, the frustration peaked.
While palming his forehead, he could only self monologue. "I really need to make this timeline of Orochimaru's whole life progression... but just how bad am I of a procrastinator to actually write a whole self-insert Orochimaru fanfic story before writing the timeline itself?"
"Or maybe it's not just procrastinating, it could also be the fanfic-ker urge in me?" He truly was a fanfic writer before migrating, after all.
Not that that's anything to be proud of.
Still, writing a fanfic in a fanfic situation doubled whatever irony this situation had.
It also didn't help that the past few years were incredibly boring as heck.
For a certified Internet content addict of the millennial age, a feudal-esque Japan setting bored his brain to almost rot.
Yet, not as worse as prison.
Still, with advent withdrawals and lack of AAs, expressing some creativity was euphoric in almost every sense of sensibilities.
So, after this chance of getting his hands on a rudimentary pencil and stack of papers, he couldn't help but write away.
To the pencil-and-paper giver's dismay, who just so happens to be his parents.
Pedomaru noticed their confusion, of course. So, his next course of action was to not ease their dismay at all.
Even smiling gleefully, stating. "Thank you for the gift, mama, papa!"
"Anything for you, son." Kurama Pengu, the father of the household, affirmed.
It would seem that he didn't want to breach the topic of whatever his son had doodled. Especially those inexplicable words he's blurted out.
Fanfic? Fanfic-ker? Self-insert? There's even the mention of Orochimaru-sama in there.
The same could be said of Kurama Maru, who is ever doting, cheeringly saying. "In any case, happy birthday again, baby!"
With some melancholy, she added. "I can't believe that you're turning three now. It feels only yesterday that you were born in this world."
Making the boy tilt his head and wonder... wasn't the feeling incredibly painful back then though?
He surely didn't want that to feel like yesterday or ever again. Not just the feeling but also the grossness of it actually.
Still, that's just his inner thoughts and he still had a kiddy facade to keep, so he cutely grinned. "Still, thank you and thank you very much for this, mama, papa. With this, I can be like you two now. Hehe..."
Which was more than enough as the unsuspecting two just did their gratified hmm-hmm nods, with a few complimentary comments here and there.
And that pretty much highlights the little birthday celebration that this little Kurama household had.
Aside from the humble pencil-paper giveaway, it was just some topped noodles and a little cake with a candle on it.
With just the humble three of them to boot.
It wasn't much but it's the homeliness that counts... in a way...
---------
As it closed off, and when the birthday boy eventually dozed off... some questions needed to be answered, however.
And so, the adults of the house unfurled the scribblings that their son had written with passion.
To think that the boy would write away as soon as he got it.
Sure, their son incessantly begged for it ever since he showed signs of shockingly advanced conversationalism... but they didn't really take it to be a sign of him really, really wanting it.
It really wasn't best to assume that their son would follow suit from their own experience of enjoying their youth and ignorance... alongside their own hesitation due to the obvious possibility of their baby boy bearing 'that' curse.
Then again, the boy was obviously an oddball.
Maybe they should have given it to him sooner and be more supportive... but that's a regret they'll have to carry on.
After all, they're first-time parents and it's a challenge, to say the least.
Just as how a challenge it was to understand what their son had written.
Pengu's face literally morphed as he tried to make sense of whatever markings these were.
Even with his expertise in the art of calligraphy... he actually couldn't make sense of these characters.
Such a predicament!
It didn't help that, right beside him, his wife asked. "So, what is it?"
Pengu could only shruggingly reply. "I genuinely don't know."
"I see repeating patterns. That's got to be something, right?" Maru, with her attainment in the arts, pointed out.
"Yeah, it is. And it could very well be some new form of writing, even a new language, that the boy made up from scratch." The husband blabbered in assumption.
Then, he added. "Or, it could be nothing. You know our Pedomaru, he's as weird as he can get. Haha."
"He sure is." Maru echoed... and that's as far enough of a prodding that the duo can do.
How could they even proceed to understand when they're technically conversing in Japanese, only versed in katakana and kanji, and having lived in a strictly Japanese-based culture?
Especially so, when their three-year-old son wrote his inadvertent fanfic in English... letters and all... out of habit...
Perhaps as a double layer of privacy and secrecy as well... probably...
