Evelyn
Grace had told me she would be handling our lunch. I didn’t know if that meant she didn’t think I was capable of handling my own food (I probably wasn’t) but either way, it made me feel obligated to do something in return. We’d agreed on the location for the hike, a three mile trail through the forest that wasn’t too far away. I texted her asking if she’d want a ride there, feeling conflicted about if I wanted her to accept or not.

On one hand I’d end up spending more time with her, which wasn’t ideal, but on the other hand, I would feel like I’m doing something in return for her lunch.

Maybe I was overthinking it.

While I was getting ready, she replied with an affirmative, and I heard Jack open the door to his room and come out into our living space.

“So you two are actually doing this? I’m kind of impressed, I thought you’d back out for sure,” he crossed his arms and stood staring at me with a curious expression in his eyes.

I had no clue what he was looking for. I shrugged, “Well it was too late to back out, I’d be embarrassed as shit trying to say ‘whoops sorry wrong person’, especially after she accepted. Not like I expected her to accept anyways.”

“Well I’m happy for you regardless. Maybe you can talk to her about where to take your career,” he suggested with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah maybe,” I replied unenthusiastically. I didn’t think me and Grace shared much in common, and I doubt whatever her career was would interest me, but I guess it couldn’t hurt. Unless it started an argument and then we killed each other. That might hurt. Whatever.

“Alright I’m out,” I yelled at Jack, hurrying out of the house before he could say anything more.
He had been acting weird about the whole situation, like he wasn’t sure if I had invited Grace on purpose or not, even after I told him I’d meant to message Brianna, who I didn’t hate.

I got into my car, an unremarkable dark blue sedan that got the job done, and started playing my music. I loved rock, especially groups with a female lead singer. Right now I was listening to Garbage, and I absentmindedly sang along as I drove to the address Grace had sent me.

I pulled up along her street, messaging her that I had arrived, and I saw as she came out of the second floor apartment, the worn stairs and flakey pale yellow-painted wood of the building exposed to the street.

She strode purposefully down the stairs, and I definitely didn’t admire how her long, slim legs looked in the athletic shorts she wore. She had a loose white short-sleeve shirt on, and her blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail, a few strands hanging loose on either side of her face.

Normally I’d criticize her for having so much exposed skin on a hike in the woods, and be happy to do it, but the trail we were going on was very wide, and given the season, it was unlikely there would be any plant life intruding on the path.

Maybe I could still try. As she opened the passenger door, I threw out at her, “Aren’t you going to be cold? I don’t want to have to head back early because you’re freezing.” Oh god, I was doing it again. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I play nice for a couple hours?

She placed her bag in the backseat and rolled her eyes at me, “If you must know, I get rather hot and sweaty when I start exercising and I’m not fond of the feeling of sweating under warm clothes. I did pack some just in case but I doubt I’ll need them.”

I flushed at the image of her getting hot and sweaty that appeared in my mind, but she didn’t appear to catch the same meaning in what she said.

I also was immediately reminded of why I was so tempted to lash out at her. The way she talked was so haughty; I couldn’t stand it. I wondered if she talked that way on purpose, or if it was something you developed naturally hanging around other pretentious assholes, like getting a British accent while living in England.

I knew it was inevitable that I’d say something stupid to her without thinking. Maybe I needed to redirect that energy into another direction, I just had to figure out where.

“Alright fine, whatever you want,” I replied after a moment, before reminding myself to be nicer. “Thanks for bringing lunch, that was really nice of you.”

She gave me a surprised expression, and I got an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach as I realized how little she must expect from me if that was surprisingly polite.

“It was no problem, I really enjoy cooking for other people, and I hope you will find what I made satisfactory,” she beamed at me.

Where did this ray of sunshine come from? Whatever. I started the hour-long drive towards our destination, and I noticed her looking at the radio console like held some kind of hidden secret.

“This isn’t bad,” she said, like she’d been expecting something truly horrifying and been only slightly pleasantly surprised.

“Thanks? What do you listen to? Please tell me it’s not religious music or country.” I was generally pretty open about listening to new music but I couldn’t stand country and Christian rock was just as bad.

“Oh no, I think country music is no good and I don’t really see the point in listening to religious music. I usually listen to classical.”

Ah, that checked out. At least she didn’t say it in an arrogant tone this time. Well, I wasn’t going to argue with her on this front.

Our conversation continued for the rest of the drive, and by the time we arrived and started the hike, I was feeling surprisingly pleasant.

Despite her stuck-up way of speaking, she was actually pretty reasonable, even if she was a bit obsessed with being a good girl. I understood wanting to do good, but I wondered if she ever did things for herself, or if she was just a people-pleaser.

I ended up asking her about her career like Jack suggested, listening as I looked out into the woods we were passing by. She told me about how she’d been working for her church since she was a teen, working up from a volunteer to a part-timer until she got her degree in business management and she started working full time.

The whole time she was discussing her work Grace never said anything about if she enjoyed it or why she chose it in the first place. It seemed to me like she just fell into it and kept at it because of inertia. I wanted to ask her if she liked it, but I was trying not to antagonize her, especially when we were having a decent time. I also wanted to eat lunch instead of potentially getting it thrown at me.

I told her about my family, how I was an only child, how my father had passed the previous year, and she told me she had a little brother she wasn’t very close to.

We talked a lot, with a few comfortable silences in between topics until we reached the end of the hike, where we would rest and eat before going back. There was a small meadow here, and Grace laid a blanket down over the shaggy dry grass. The sun shone down pretty strongly despite the tall trees around us, but it wasn’t oppressive.

I looked over at her, realizing this whole situation was gay as fuck way too late. I couldn’t believe the first ‘date’ I had with a beautiful woman was going to be a picnic hike with Grace. It occurred to me, now that I had thought about it, maybe it wasn’t that bad. We’d actually got along the past couple of hours, and it wasn’t like I didn’t find her attractive.

Maybe if we’d met in different circumstances this could’ve been an actual date.

If only she wasn’t the straightest woman on the planet.

 

Grace
Surprisingly, I was having a great time. When Evelyn wasn’t constantly antagonizing me she was pretty enjoyable to be around. She was a good listener, and I found myself wondering if this is how she was on her dates with Jack.

Oh shoot, I really didn’t need to think about how date-like this whole situation was. Besides, even if she wasn’t taken or straight, she was still foul-mouthed, prickly, and gloomy.

My parents definitely wouldn’t approve of her, even as a friend. The thought of my parents quickly soured my stomach and washed away any thoughts of this being a date.

I couldn't date a woman because I didn’t want to hurt my family.

I busied myself setting up the blanket and taking out the food I’d prepared, hoping my stomach would settle quickly so I could at least eat enough to make up for the calories I’d burned.

I looked over to Evelyn, who was still standing, looking up at the tops of the trees. Shafts of light fell around her like a spotlight, and the massive mossy tree trunks framing her contributed to a scene that was serene and beautiful, making my chest flutter in a way that was comfortably uncomfortable.

I wished I was into photography or painting so I could capture this moment for later. Why did she have to be so pretty?

I shook the thought from my head, “Come sit down Evelyn, hopefully you’ll like the food.”

She turned to me and walked over, stopping next to me but remaining standing. She leaned over me so as to look down sharply on my face, and she held my gaze. “I like the view from above you,” she smirked before quickly flushing and throwing a hand over her mouth.

I flushed, an image of her body above mine vividly making itself known in my head.

She giggled and sat down, “I’m hungry,” she said as if that hadn’t just happened.

I think she meant to be referencing the height difference, but that was an interesting choice of words. ’She has a boyfriend’, I reminded myself. “How is Jack doing anyways?” I asked her, handing her food.

She took the food and examined it from a few angles. “Wow this looks fucking delicious, thank you.”

I smiled at her praise. One of my favorite parts of cooking is hearing how much other people enjoy it.

She continued, beaming, “He’s great, I really appreciate him. I think he’s cleaning our apartment today, it’s really nice living with him.”

Oh, I hadn’t realized they had already moved in together. My stomach turned again. Am I really getting jealous over Evelyn of all people? It wasn’t like I even wanted to date her, she was just physically attractive. And I was having a nice time with her. That didn’t mean anything.

“Language,” I chided, feeling petty and annoyed, “I’m glad he’s doing well, let me know when you’re ready for cookies.”

She laughed, “I’ll curse whenever the fuck I want to, but I’m very excited for cookies.”

I frowned at her gratuitous cursing, and I was about to lecture her about it when I heard the buzzing of someone getting a phone call.

I watched as she pulled out her phone, and made a face when she saw the screen. “Sorry, my mom is calling, give me a minute.”

I nodded and tried to focus on my lunch but it was hard to ignore the conversation happening in front of me, or at least the half-conversation I could actually hear.

I heard Evelyn tell her mother how she was doing, what sounded like her doing the same about Jack, until finally, she looked at me and gave me an apologetic wave, “Hey mom, I’m actually busy right now, I’m out with someone and I don’t want to keep them waiting.”

I watched intently, forgetting my respect for her privacy for a moment. For some reason I couldn’t place, I was deathly curious about what she would tell her mom about me.

She started pacing back and forth, and almost jumped at what her mother said in response. “Oh god no, it’s not like that, I’m out with a woman, and she’s just a friend,” her free hand animatedly swung around, hand repeatedly opening and closing anxiously.

She slowly nodded at what her mom said, and then she gave a resigned look and a long sigh, “Yeah, actually I am,” it looked like a weight was taken off her shoulders after she said that. I had completely lost track of where this conversation was going, and I shouldn’t be paying this much attention, but I couldn’t help it.

I heard her mom’s excited voice come through the speaker, even from several meters away, and Evelyn grimaced, holding the phone away from her ear for a moment.

After it had quieted down, she returned to the conversation, “Yes, I’m serious. Yes I know you love me,” she abruptly looked at me and stared into my eyes, “No, no, no, I swear it’s not like that,” her cheeks flushed bright red.

She shook her head back and forth, and her curly hair, which was up in a ponytail, flailed behind, “No oh my god, yes I’ll be there but no I won’t be bringing her!” She looked at her phone in surprise, “She hung up on me…”

I smiled. I liked her relationship with her mother. While I had what could be called a professional relationship with mine, she seemed much closer to hers. “What was that all about?” I asked her, feeling a little guilty about listening in, even though there wasn’t much choice.

Her face was still red from earlier, “Uh, I had some news for her and she took it well. Also, I guess she wants to meet you for some reason; I think she thinks I have no friends so she’s a bit excited about me being here with you. You really don’t have to meet her though.” She sat down and resumed eating what was left.

I knew she was leaving something important out, but I didn’t want to intrude further into her private life. “It’s not a big deal, she seems lovely,” I responded, feeling conflicted.

I did think her mother sounded lovely, and we had been getting along today, but there was still something I was missing about the situation. Not to mention we could be at each other’s throats at any moment.

Thinking that for some reason brought an image to my mind of her leaning over to me and biting my neck, her body pressed into mine.

Oh darn, this was a terrible idea. Regardless of whether I wanted to kill her or kiss her, I did not need her in my life further. It didn’t matter though, because I was sure she would be looking for an excuse to not have me meet her mother, just as much as I would.

She nodded, “Yeah, we’ll see.” She thanked me for the food again, and we packed up, before making the walk back to her car. We had less conversation on the way back but we hardly got on each other’s nerves.

After I was home I wondered, would I actually want to do that again?

 

Evelyn
I got home after my hike with Grace, and stormed into the living room where Jack was playing some video game on the couch, switch controller in hand.

“Oh my god, Jack what a fucking disaster,” I yelled starting to pace back and forth across the limited floor space.

He laughed, “I mean that was what we expected. So, what happened? Do you need me to help hide the body?”

I stopped abruptly. I had totally forgotten me and Grace had been expecting to not get along. “No, actually we had a really good time…” I said in a quiet voice.

“Wait really? What’s the problem then?”

“My mom,” I resumed my pacing.

“Your mom?” He turned to face me with a bewildered expression, “What are you going on about?”

“Oh my god,” I threw my hands up in the air, “My mom called, I came out to her and now she wants to meet Grace.” This whole situation was so stupid, and I needed to vent some of my stress so I could actually figure out what to do.

“Wait, you came out as…?”

“Oh my god Jack, I’m fucking gay,” I said loudly, as if he should already know. I was enjoying being a bit of a brat.

He shook his head, “Yeah okay we can talk more about that later, why would your mom want to meet Grace… Unless?” His eyes widened.

“Yes, exactly,” I met his gaze and nodded emphatically, glad he was catching on that my mom thought my friend was something more.

“Wait, why is it a problem if your mom wants to meet your girlfriend? Wouldn’t Grace be the perfect kind of person to bring home? She’s super polite, what’s the issue?”

I stopped again, staring at him. Was he joking? His seriously confused expression seemed to indicate otherwise. “She’s not– We’re…” I looked down, for some reason at a loss for how to explain it to him. “She’s straight,” I settled on.

Understanding dawned on him, “Hmm yeah, I could see why she might be stuck in the closet. It’s very nice of you to not out her. Maybe you could assure her your mom wouldn’t gossip about it?”

I remained staring at him. Was this some kind of alien, who looked just like Jack, and spoke a language that sounded just like English, but all of the words had different meanings? That seemed like a reasonable explanation to me.

I was already running out of social energy from spending the day talking with Grace, and I really didn’t have enough left to get through whatever this conversation was turning into. Alien Jack could win this one. “Dude, we’re just friends.” I shook my head, “Whatever, I give up,” I threw my hands in the air, “I’m going to go rest and despair looking at job applications,” I waved my hand over my head behind me as I went into my room.

Why was Jack so adamant that Grace and I were together? It wasn’t like I liked her or anything.