"Ahem! Ahem! Here! Yes. This, whom you're reading, is Antorique Veluard. Yes, Tori, me. The ingenious protagonist of this mediocre work."
"And we'll miss you so much, master! Sniff."
"Oh, really? Who's this?" "Wait, miss me?"
"Perhaps George, 'being a complete idiot,' expresses it exaggeratedly. But it's undoubtedly a lamentable event. I can't say it was pleasant working with you, but I can't deny it was an... experience, new." Octavio made a slight bow and whispered a Sanctum blessing.
"Stop the hypocrisy, religious charlatan! The only one losing with this is me. How am I going to learn the Fireball now?" Jasmine joined the conversation. Babi accompanied her, mooing sadly. The Bull brought his head to Tori's hand, caressing him in his own way.
"But what are you all...?"
"Don't worry, young Vagabond! We know you're not devoted to Sanctum. We'll give you a classic Novordian farewell," Robben asserted calmly. Octavio nodded in agreement.
"You should've been the one, old senile! Like Dumbledore, only you've lived longer! Isn't that right, Babi?"
"Hold on, hold on, hold on! Why the hell are you all assuming I'm going to die? Filler characters."
"We will be, in fact, the main characters," Octavio said politely, smiling softly.
"They want me to die to take my place! They're plotting a coup!"
" 'We will be' sounds like a lot, mediocre acolyte. It's evident I'm the successor in this story... And this mage was unable to teach me the Fireball! Ah, it would've been the peak of my training saga..."
"The disciple is the logical successor, therefore it's my task. I won't fail you, Master!"
"Silence, bald delinquent. It's the era of female protagonists!"
"Let's see, let's see, you bunch of vultures. Do you realize that this damn work has my name? Bunch of fame-seeking snakes!"
"And it also says 'journey,' something you did on the first page. The name is irrelevant. Dead man."
"Don't be so cruel to my master, miss!"
"It doesn't matter! It bears my name! Without me, this story doesn't work! I'm even on that horrible Paint-made cover! Would anyone read 'The Journeys of Octavio'?"
"Good point. However 'Jasmine. Birth and Progression of a Heroine'..."
"Calm down, youngsters. After the inevitable death of young Antorique. A flashback of his childhood traveling — narrated by me —, will be shown in parallel to his training — guided by me —. It's the most logical conclusion. I may find among the belongings of our former protagonist, literature with the knowledge of the Fireball."
"Guardian Robben, you're supposed to support me as the protagonist!"
"You're trying to buy the shrimp girl, old criminal! And stop talking as if this poorly written garbage was written by you!"
"That's true, only the bald criminal could write so badly." "So in the documents of this dead mess, I'll find out how to make a Fireball. Did you see, Babi?" The Bull responded with an animated moo.
"Wait! Isn't the old man supposed to die? Like Obi Wan or Jiraiya?"
"It would make sense if the old senile was a mentor of something."
"Guardian Robben is my mentor!"
"And that's why you're called Octavius, human filler."
"Moo!"
"Let's come to an agreement, youngsters. I propose you three as the main young trio, led by Miss Green. I'll be the teacher; mentor; charismatic master everyone loves."
"Why led by her and not by me, Guardian Robben!? You should be on my side!"
"Ha! The old man at least understands what's good."
"Bah! Guardian Robben. The only thing you have of Kakashi or Satoru is the white hair."
"Octavius!" exclaimed offended Robben. "Hm, I could be something similar to Gandalf."
"As if anyone would buy something like that, old senile!"
"Miss Green! 'I thought we had an alliance...'"
"Wait, coup plotters! Are you even reading the story? Do you know the fight isn't over?"
"Castellanos is tearing you apart, useless Vagabond."
"That's true, he doesn't stand a chance. I'll try to avenge his death as the main successor of the journey, remembering the 'noble gesture' he had when facing the robbers. 'Where, by the way, George was'"
"I'm sorry, Master! But even the mighty Gojo Satoru has died and he won't return."
"..."
"Moo?"
"Repeat what you just said, Baldy."
"Hm?"
"Repeat that last assertion, George."
"Moo!"
"Speak, Bald delinquent!"
"I said what... Even... Gojo Satoru has died..."
"And?"
"And... He will not return."
"Oh, die, bald filler character. I'll forget who the hell you are again."
"Those are not words of a devotee of Sanctum, young George."
"...I should have sent you back to confinement."
"Retract, bald delinquent!"
"MOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
**************************************
"Ahem! Here! Yes, Tori! The protagonist of this poorly written work. I ask you to await with affection the outcome of the encounter with Castellanos. And, if you have enjoyed this lamentable story a bit — and can afford it —, consider leaving a tip for the useless author."
"No! Use those Ordañas to donate them to your nearest Brotherhood of Faith temple!"
"Your damn sect doesn't even exist in real life, useless acolyte! Neither do Ordañas"
"Support my master!"
"Do it! I need to eat... And drink coffee... and smoke tobacco."
"More than half are vices! Don't give your coins to this shameless beggar!"
"Ah! Whatever! Thank you very much for reading! See you later!"
"Goodbye, may Sanctum be with you."
"Wait for my next appearance! ...I'll be learning the Fireball. Ha."
"See you soon!"
"Moo!"
"...YOU –SHALL – NOT – PASS!"
"...Senile old man."
