This human is strange. Her pants are made of some weird fabric. They seem sturdy, but hide nothing. My eyes flint across her form, settling on her hips.

“This isn’t funny!” She yells, balling her fists at her sides. Her brown hair is tangled, but her nails are short, and she does not have any supplies on her. Did she come to this forest to die? Or was it to avenge her fallen family?

“50,000 Thi is generous,” I admit. “But why so much for one so weak?”

“I don’t ask questions,” the cupcake scoffs. “What matters is that the coin spends the same.”

I hum. This human is important for some reason. My eyes drag down the length of her body again. Sparkling green eyes, smooth brown skin with gold undertones in the sunlight, and generous breasts that would spill from my palms.

A runway concubine perhaps?

I tilt my head. Assessing. No, she is far too mouthy. Far too foul-mouthed. The cupcake squirms in my hand. Its swords may as well be toothpicks with how little damage they do. Annoying, but nothing to stress over.

“How do you plan to compensate me?”

“Compensate you? I don’t freaking know! I don’t have cash on me and…I can cook?”

I blink. Cook for me? She thinks cooking is worth 50,000 Thi?

“Listen, I’ll split it with ya. Just let me at her and this will be over in a split of a second,” the cupcake whispers.

“I hate sharing,” I quip. “But I’m more interested in this master of yours. Why is he after her?”

“I told you! I don’t ask questions.”

“I’ll pay you double.”

The cupcake brightens. Icing falls from its eyes. “Truly? For an insignificant human?”

“Hey! I’m right here,” Megan huffs. “Stop acting as though I’m not. This is my life on the line.”

“I am working to save your life. Be quiet.” I turn my attention back to the cupcake. Always found these cupcake ninjas to be worthless. Who would send one out to a forest to take care of a target? Unless they suspected her to be weak with hunger? No one in their right mind would try to eat a cupcake in the middle of a forest unless they are desperate. “I will double the payment. I want information. Why is she being hunted? How did they know she would be here? This isn’t a spot favored by humans.”

“And you’ll give me a 100,000 Thi?” The cupcake sheathes its swords and strokes its nonexistent chin. “How do I know you’re good for it? You hardly look like you have the coin.”

“Looks are deceiving, aren’t they?”

“Touche.” The cupcake squirms and I let it fall to the ground with a splat. “You could have set me down gently!” it bellows, struggling to its feet. How these things get around without some beast snatching them up is curious. I have never thought to take the time to study them and their habits.

“Human—Megan, come here. The cupcake will need proof of your death.”

Megan hesitates, but walks closer to me. She cradles her hands to her chest as though that will somehow shield her.

“You aren’t seriously going to kill me, are you?”

“No, I merely require a locket of hair and some blood.” I beckon her forth. When she is hand’s width away, I step towards her. She takes a step back. “Stay still. I will not hurt you.”

“Drawing blood is the definition of hurting someone.” She juts her chin out, as if to be defiant. No, she is afraid.

What a curious human she is. Afraid but pretending to be strong. My knuckles brush her cheek. She tenses and then relaxes. Good. I cut her cheek and collect the droplets on my finger. She jerks back and presses a hand to her cheek.

“Hair,” I command.

“…How much?”

“A few strands will do.”

She presses her lips together and pulls a couple strands with her non-bloody hand. Megan deposits the strands into my palm. I rub the blood over them.

“They aren’t gonna accept some hair and some blood,” the cupcake points out.

“That’s why I’m giving you a head. Surely you had a plan to transport it back.” Magic swells in my gut as I conjure a head out of the blood and hair.

“That’s…creepy and looks nothing like me.”

“A wager,” I reply. “Take this back and return with information.”

The cupcake takes the head and grunts. It mutters under its breath as it draws symbols on the head.

It salutes them and vanishes along with the head.

Ah, so that’s how they move around.

“Megan, come here.” I crook my finger and raise a brow at her hesitation. Very well. I’ll go to her. She takes a step away from me. I sigh as I reach for her. Must she take a step back every time I step to her? “You’re bleeding.”

She sputters. “Because of you!” She jerks back. “What are you doing?”

“Healing you.” I lick the shallow cut. The skin stitches itself back together. Her blood is sweet. Much sweeter than fairy wine. I lick my lips and this time I take a step back. My cocks twitch.

This human isn’t strange. No, she is dangerous.

“Let’s go,” I bark out, strolling past her. The scent of her blood lingers on my hand. This will not do.

“What was that, by the way? The head.”

“A head,” I reply coolly.

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

“Did you bump your head?” I stop and turn to look at her. “You wear strange clothing, know nothing of the world, and have zero survival instincts.”

“…If that’s what you want to go for, then sure,” she chirps, but the tight smile gives her faux cheeriness away. “I bumped my head and forgot which way is right.”

“So, you’re an idiot.”

“You’re a dick.”

“Why do you always reference my cocks?”

Her mouth pops open. “I’m not! It’s just a saying that you’re being an ass.”

I scratch my ear. Now she’s referring to my ass? “Is this how you humans flirt? Do you wish to see my cocks and ass?”

“NO!” She smacks her forehead. “I don’t know if you are being obtuse on purpose or if you just don’t get the insults.”

“A shame. I’ve never rutted a human.” I shrug and resume walking. For whatever reason, she insists on backtracking and returning to the area we met. Perhaps she left her supplies in her haste.

“There will be none of those things with this human, buddy.” She struggles to match my already slowed pace.

“You claimed to work out and yet you struggle.”

“This forest is out to get me.” She yanks her leg free of a root. “Trees aren’t supposed to grab you, and this terrain is rough. Yeah, I work out. Indoors. In a gym.”

We are getting nowhere at this rate.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Come here. We are wasting daylight.” I reach for her and lift her over my shoulder before she can say more nonsensical things. Nothing she says makes sense. What is a gym?

She hits my back with her fists and kicks. A feisty thing, she is. “Let me go! I can walk.”

“It will be night before we arrive at your pace. Gather yourself.” That is the only warning I give her before I take off. Her screams catch the wind. It’s not difficult to retrace our steps, though the scent of death is heavy in the air. I lower her feet to the ground, next to the bones of the klarvak.

“That’s…traumatizing.” She swallows. “Okay, I ran a straight path. There was water.”

I cross my arms as I trail behind her. She mutters to herself, though I hear her clearly.

“There was a lot of water and…is this it?” Megan gets to her knees and crawls on the floor.

What in the seven skies is going on?

“Looking for something?” I inquire, sinking to a squat next to her. She ignores me and continues to pat the ground.

“Okay…could you check the trees and maybe see if there is a portal or something up there?”

My brows shoot up. A portal? “Portals are not left around. They are created for the sole purpose of transportation and dissipate once they have fulfilled that. A portal would not be lying around on the ground or in a tree.”

Megan sits up and shakes her head. “No, there has to be a portal around here.” Her eyes widen. Blown. Traces of green remain. She needs to calm down. I run my tongue along my teeth and nick myself on the canines.

“Where is it you are trying to go? Presumably, you do not wish to stay in the undead forest. You have yet to eat anything, and you have no weapons to defend yourself.”

She sniffs. “Home. I’m just trying to go back home.”

“For what reason? Are you not the sole survivor? Going back could lead to a death sentence. I see no reason why they wouldn’t have at least one assassin left in waiting for your return.”

Megan stands and wipes her nose with the back of her hand. “No. I have to get back home. It’s the only place for me. This is…” she gestures around us. “This is not safe, and I don’t belong here.”

I cross my arms. “Who made the portal? Your mother?”

“What? No.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know who made it. I was running, and I fell, and then next I know I ended up here.”

“There is nothing here. They do not linger.”

“Sure, they do.” She spreads her arms. “That’s what they do in the movies. They stay and I just need to find it. Maybe there’s a symbol on a rock somewhere? Or that tree! We didn’t check that tree.” Megan jogs over to the tree and attempts to climb it, but her form is wrong, and her feet slip. “A little help here.”

“I was promised cooking, but it seems it was a lie to get away from me.”

She huffs. “Look, I’m sure I’d be able to show you some of my cooking after I find the portal. It’s much better than that foul-smelling fruit you tried to feed me.”

I should let her go. Should let her find this portal that doesn’t exist and wipe my claws free of this. But the taste of her blood lingers on my tongue and the sweetest of it has me wanting more.

I hate it.

This human is calling to my baser instincts and I’m the only one affected by this thing between us. She continues her attempt at climbing, only to fall on her butt. No matter how many times she falls, she continues to get up and try again. Megan is either desperate or stupid. Perhaps both.

And yet her tenacity draws me in. Where does this hope to return come from? Despite being told that it is simply impossible for her to return through a portal that is long gone, she keeps searching anyway.

“Perhaps you should create your own?”

“How the hell do I do that?” She picks up a rock and screams. “What the hell is that?”

“A flesh-eating rock,” I quip. “Truly, humans do not venture into this forest unless they have a death wish. It’s not the most accommodating area. The undead notwithstanding.”

“Great, so everything is out to kill me. This is why I need to get home. There are no beasts. There are no killer cupcakes. And there certainly aren’t any flesh-eating rocks.” She throws the rock and shudders. “How do I make a portal? Just draw some symbols?”

I shrug. “Portals are not my area of expertise. I do not dabble with them.”

“What? Aren’t they like fast travel?”

“For some, yes. For others, they suck away at their life force.”

Megan blanches. Her brown skin turns a lighter shade. “You told me to do something that might take away part of my life span?”

“You wish to go home, do you not?”

“I…fine. I’ll draw some symbols. A cupcake could do it. Why can’t I?” She fists pumps the air and then grabs a branch. Megan draws symbols into the dirt. Some of which I have never seen. “There. That should do it.” She tosses the branch and stands in the middle of her so-called portal. “Well, Roharu. I’d say it’s been fun, but it hasn’t. Fingers crossed; we will never see each other again.” She smiles, but instead of joy, I feel irritation.

I cross my arms. My tail flicks back and forth. “Should this not work, I shall keep you until I am satisfied.”

She laughs and points her middle finger at me. “Ha! So long fox-boy.” Megan closes her eyes and stands there. Seconds tick by. She opens her eyes. “I’m still here…”

I exhale. “That settles it. You’re just an idiot.” I crook a finger at her.

“You gotta be kidding me,” she grumbles.

“A promise is a promise, human.” I smirk at her outraged face. Good, I’m not done with this human. There are many secrets to ply from her. Megan kicks at the failed portal and stomps past. Her stomach growls. She throws a glare over her shoulder.

Yes, there are many secrets she is hiding, but first, I need to find something for her to eat.

“Don’t wander too far,” I quip. “Lest a beast snatch you away.”

“Screw you!”

I pierce my bottom lip with my fang. What a feisty human she is.