My uncle led me into his lab. I looked around. This was underneath the Mystery Shack the whole time? No wonder Soos was so paranoid about Theo and I using the vending machine.
“Have a seat,” Ford said. “And try not to touch anything…some of these experiments are probably at a negative level on the pH scale by now. A toxicity like that is enough to burn right through your skin and kill you by contact.”
I winced, unsettled, but took a seat at one of the four workbenches.
Ford sat next to me and turned his chair to face me. “I’m about to tell you something beyond the normal person’s comprehension. Can I trust you?”
I thought. I was basically a younger version of him. He clearly trusted me, so it was only fair if I trusted him. I nodded, turning my chair to face back at him. “You can trust me. I’ll understand anything.”
He smiled. “Glad to hear.” He went on to tell me his story, starting with when he received his college grant for his incredible research. He went on to tell me about the entity that helped him with his research, but then betrayed him horribly. Was it the same as Bill? Would Bill lie to me? Apparently, the entity spoke of a prophecy that the world would go to ruin. Ford’s partner, Fiddleford McGucket, got a glimpse of these true plans and he spoke of the prophecy backwards. Then, my uncle told me about getting sucked into his portal himself because his brother accidentally pushed him. He dodged the bullet which was: what happened in that portal? What did he see? He told me about everything that happened when he got back, including a strange phenomenon known as Weirdmaggedon. He and his family managed to save it, but many years in the future he was knagged by a thought given to him by Stan, who told him that he vaguely remembers hearing a message from the entity, but it was incoherent. Ford deciphered this, and it read out to say:
“A-X-O-L-O-T-L! My time has come to burn! I invoke the ancient power that I may return!” Grunkle Ford recited. “If this is true, then I fear that this entity will be returning.”
“Wait,” I said. “Are we just going to ignore the fact that he spelled out axolotl?”
“Yes,” Ford said. “Because that is irrelevant. At least right now, since I do not have any recordings of anything related to all-powerful axolotls.”
“...Maybe my dad does. He continued your research, right? Maybe he found something.”
Ford’s expression was filled with curiosity. “You’re absolutely right, Ria. It’s worth a try!” He stood up and held his hand out. “Let’s go talk to him.”
I took his hand and stood. “I have to go do something first. Meet me there?”
“...I trust that you won’t get yourself into trouble. So yes, I will meet you there.”
I nodded. We ascended up the elevator.
I arrived back at the deep part of the forest. “Bill?” I called.
Just as I had seen happen to Ford in the flashback, my surroundings went black and white. Bill appeared to me. “Heya, nerd!”
“Bill- my uncle told me about the entity that helped him. It ended up betraying him and causing some armageddon of weirdness…that wasn’t you, was it?” I clutched my satchel nervously.
Bill descended towards me, getting closer. “Listen kid, your uncle isn’t who you think he is. He was driven insane after going through that portal. I wouldn’t trust anything he says. He’s the one who started Weirdmaggedon, anyway!” He laughed. “He dismantled his portal and kept the rift that connected dimensions. If he had just left things how they were, then those monsters never would have been allowed into this dimension.”
I thought about it. “You have no proof.”
I saw an image of the rift in his eye. Then I saw it crash to the ground in the middle of the woods, and an x-shaped portal opened up in the skies that started spitting nightmares all over town. People shrieked in terror.
The image faded. “My point is, you can trust me. I’ve been around for billions of years, kid! I know lots of things, and I have a history of helping brilliant minds!” He outstretched his arms. “Your uncle keeps a file about me in his underground lab. There’s proof in there.”
I hesitated, uncomfortable by how close he was to me. I tried backing up, but he only got closer. “Do you- Do you know anything about axolotls?”
“...what?”
“The entity, which I’m assuming wasn’t you because of what you showed me, spelled out axolotl before burning away. I want to know what that means.”
“...as a matter of fact, I do know what you’re talking about. But that level of knowledge isn’t available to you for free.” He finally backed up and pulled his hands behind his back.
I let out a sigh. Apparently I hadn’t been breathing much while he was right in front of me. “What would I need to do?” I asked with a hint of fear in my tone. What if he asked me to betray my uncle? I still didn’t fully believe that Ford caused Weirdmaggedon, but my trust for him was definitely less than it was before. Would I rather trust some random dead guy, or a knowledgeable god that had been around since the beginning of time?
Bill narrowed his one eye in thought. “Follow me.” He quickly started zipping through the woods.
“W-Wait!” I stuttered. I quickly bolted after him, trying to keep up.
He stopped in front of a stone statue of himself. It was covered in moss and forest debris.
I pushed a branch out of the way and walked out to him. “This is…you?”
Bill looked at me. “This is what’s left of my physical form. As of now, I can only exist in your mind, sixer. But…” He pointed to his own stone hand that was outstretched. “If you shake that hand, then I’ll be welcome back into the world. And what’s better, I’ll be able to recall my knowledge about the big frilly know-it-all and share it with you! What do you say?”
I hesitated, approaching the statue. It seemed like a pretty decent deal: I let Bill out into the world, and he supplies me with the answers to everything. “Can I think about it?” I asked timidly.
“Nope! This is a one-time offer, poindexter.”
“...” I reached my hand out and grabbed the stone hand.
Bill laughed joyfully and flew into the statue. My surroundings regained color.
I started to pull my hand away, then found that it was stuck. I widened my eyes and started yanking. I leaned back, pulling as hard as I could. It hurt terribly. I started to shriek. Birds flew out of the trees.
Bill's real self started to be pulled out of the statue, like a ghost trapped inside a vessel. His hand was mended to mine. I was freeing him.
I fell back on my bum. Bill was fully out of the stone. His hand was freed from mine. He cackled and kicked his feet. “Finally! I’m back! Thanks, sixer! I’ll see you soon!” He vanished.
“Wait!” I reached out. “What about-..ugh..” I sat up and held my bleeding hand. I gotta wrap this up before Grunkle Ford sees…
I climbed onto Quinn’s back and flew back to the Mystery Shack. I ran in and grabbed some bandages and wrapped my hand simultaneously while running to the research facility.
I ran in. “Grunkle Ford! Grunkle Ford!” I needed to tell him about Bill. I didn’t trust that laugh of his…
Ford was talking to my dad. He quickly looked at me. “Ria? What took so long? And what happened to your hand?”
Stupid me. It was dumb for me to think that Ford would ignore the white bandages wrapped around my bloody palm. “I need to tell you something- It’s about Bill.”
“How do you know his name?” Dad quickly demanded.
“Look- I haven’t really been the most honest. I had a dream with Bill- and he led me to his statue in the woods, and promised that if I shook its hand then he would tell me about this axolotl thing! He called it the ‘big frilly know-it-all’ so I’m guessing it’s been around even longer than he has! But when I shook the statues hand-”
“You were able to pull Bill out of it and release him back into our world,” Ford finished. He sighed and put his hand on his head. “Even after reading my journal you still didn’t learn not to trust him! His page is IN that journal!” He glared at me.
“I- I didn’t get that far,” I stuttered. I really didn’t want to see Ford get mad. Something told me that he was scary when he was mad.
Apparently my dad thought the same thing. He put his hand on Ford’s chest. “Please don’t get mad, Grunkle Ford. She didn’t know!”
Ford pushed me forward. His glasses reflected my face again. I couldn’t see his eyes in the glare. “I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMARTER THAN THAT! I THOUGHT YOU WERE LIKE ME!”
I fell back and gasped, honestly terrified.
Dad widened his eyes. “Great Uncle Ford!” He pulled him away from me. He yanked off Ford’s glasses. Grunkle Ford’s pupils were slits, like a snake’s. Or like…
“Bill!” My dad said. Punching my uncle in the face.
Ford cried out and stumbled back. His eyes went back to normal. “What- that doesn’t make any sense!”
“I thought you weren’t able to get possessed!” My dad said.
“I’m not.” He shook his head. “Unless…Ria, what spell did you use? Resurrection or Revival?”
“They’re different? Uhm…I used the Revival spell.”
Ford sighed.
“What?” Dad asked. “What’s the difference?”
“Revival is the renewing of something that was dead or gone. Meaning an entirely new body was created for my soul. Resurrection would’ve given me my old body back, just bringing it back to life. Which means that this body does not have the metal plate in my head that my old one did.”
“Metal plate?” I asked.
Ford nodded. “A way to Bill-proof my mind. But now we all have to be careful. We know that he’s out there, causing mischief.”
I went red and looked down. I felt like a total screw up.
Ford looked at me, taking his glasses back. He put his hand on my shoulder. “It’s okay, kid. Don’t feel too bad. You should honestly be more worried about yourself. You’re the one who brought Bill back. I have no doubt that you’ll be his next target.”
I didn’t feel much better. I nodded slowly.
“But in the meantime,” Ford said, “We still need to figure out what’s going on with this axolotl thing. If it’s more powerful than Bill, then maybe we can use it as a way to get rid of him.”
Dad nodded. “I think I have a few recordings of Bill mentioning it, but it's not a lot.”
“But it’s a good place to start,” I reminded, trying to take my mind off of the fact that we had a chaos god wandering around somewhere nearby. “Let’s get started.”
