In this world, certain people are blessed with incredible, world-shaking abilities called “Skills.” Precious few are granted the privilege.

While they are unable to wield Magic and use Powers normally, the overwhelming abilities granted by their Skills allow them to effortlessly skyrocket to the top of Adventuring society. From there, they are free to do whatever they like.

Any country would give almost anything to bolster the number of Skill users in their ranks. One wouldn’t even have to do anything; the mere threat of their existence alone is worth more than any weapon or spell man can create.

Their status alone propels them into high society, their every whim catered to by the land they swore fealty to.

Or one could forge their own path, seeking adventure and the glory that comes with it. Slay dragons, eliminate otherworldly threats, share stories and drinks with the greatest of heroes of legend, and have enough natural mystique to make anyone in the world swoon.

One could retire before they leave their teenage years, and live a life of luxury amidst unfathomable wealth, whether they choose to continue ‘working’ or not.

Ancient lore says that it was Skill users that established the nations that make up our world today, and that we owe our continued existences to the Skill users throughout history who have saved the world time and time again.

I am not one of those people.

---

Aaaaaahh, man… The sun’s way too bright. Would it have killed someone to cover it in a few clouds this morning? Geez…

Maybe I ought to just buy better curtains.

I sat up in my bed and slowly blinked my eyes open. I pushed my blankets off and stretched my sore limbs. I smacked my lips a little as I looked around our bedroom. My mouth’s dry, and I’m thirsty.

I’m alone in this big-ass attic room, along with 5 other empty beds. Usually, another four of the beds would’ve been filled, and we all would’ve woken up together. But this morning, no one had woken me up.

That’s because it’s my birthday.

Yaaaaaay…

The scent of cinnamon and apples wafted into my nostrils. The scent gave me a headache. It’s always too sweet.

I let out a deep and empty sigh, and I summoned my Character Card to my hand.

‘Allin Shige – Age 16 – MP 0/0

EQUIPMENT

• Pitchfork
• Hoe
• Scythe
• Battery
• Wooden Sword
• Common Clothes (E)
• . . .

POWERS

•  
•  
•  
•  

MAGIC

•  
•  
•  
•  

SKILL!

• Ageless Immortality!’

I closed my eyes and pinched my brow in disgust. Guess that means it’s been… 3 years since that day…

---

Aaaah, what a beautiful morning it is! The sun’s so brilliantly bright, there isn’t a cloud in the sky, and HHHMMM, is that the scent of momma’s fresh baked apple pie?!

 But I thought papa said we couldn’t afford to make it this year!? Have they simply been teasing me?! Oh, joyous day! I couldn’t possibly imagine a better day for my 13^th birthday!

I threw off my covers and stood at attention immediately! Oh boy, I can’t wait to do my first Skill Check! I’m not even gonna bother changing out of my pajamas!

As everyone knows, in this world there is a long-standing tradition that the first thing every teenager does on their birthdays is take a long and hard look at their reflection! Skill users always awaken during their teenage years, and the awakening process is easily identified by a distinct, fully body glow!

I don’t really believe in the old superstition that it’s more likely to happen on one’s birthday, nor do I think I’ll be among the few who are blessed, but I’m just excited to be part of such a long and storied tradition!

I leapt out of my bed, and started running to the other side of the room, paying no mind to any splinters on the ground, reaching my arm out to open the hatch-

Hm? Huh, I must still be pretty tired, ‘cus my Magic Hand didn’t activate. Oh well, I’ll just use my regular hand!  

I climbed down and ran to the bathroom as quickly as I could, my feet rapidly crashing against the floor amidst my excitement.

I practically tore the door open and immediately took my place in front of the mirror! And-

. . ?

Blink. Blink blink.

Huh, the mirror must be smudged. Or maybe the light was shining down from the window a little weirdly. Sure, the sun wasn’t actually visible from this window, but… Uh…

Oh. Shoot.

H-Hold on, what does my Character Card say?

‘Allin Shige – Age 13 – MP 0/0

EQUIPMENT-

• Wooden Sword
• Practice Wand
• Sickle
• Practice Shield
• Children’s Practice Armor
• Common Clothes (E)

POWERS

•  
•  
•  
•  

MAGIC

•  
•  
•  
•  

SKILL! –‘

I stopped reading, and dispelled my Character Card.

I looked back up at the mirror, with eyes as big as plates.

I started screaming.

---

I sighed again. Yeah, that’s how it went… Before long, Frankst had come up to see what the fuss was about. Then he started screaming. Then everyone started screaming.

I plop my head back down on my pillow and close my eyes. I’m trying to ignore the sun searing into my flesh, but it’s not really working.

Before I understood what was happening, the 8 of us had all boarded the fastest caravan out of Graveton, now redirected towards the capital.  

At the time, I couldn’t believe it. None of us could. Just sittin’ there with our thumbs up our assess, it took an hour before any of us could so much as form a sentence. And when we did, it was just ‘how do you feel?’ or ‘so, what’s next?’ or ‘sure is a nice day for it, huh?’

Must’ve been hell for my siblings. Byen, Amy, and Jyll looked at me with glee and envy, likely with a renewed sense of hope for their upcoming teenage years. I imagine Abigail and Frankst were holding back some level of disdain, since their teens were behind them. They didn’t show it, but it would’ve been reasonable.

How little we knew.

That was one long trip, looking back. But it certainly didn’t feel like it.

---

“CITIZENS!” The king shouted as he stepped off the throne, his manly voice booming throughout the throne room. The room, which was once filled with the voices of all manner of stranger standing along the perimeter, fell silent. “The ceremony will now commence! The archbishop and I will now approach the Hero to be!”

They started stepping toward me.

Man, my whole-body hurts.  Kneeling like this just isn’t natural. And keeping your head bowed like this is a literal pain in the neck. How long have I been here? I still don’t fully understand what’s happening.

At least my family is here with me! The 7 of them are sitting a few meters behind me, on the best seats the king’s men could find on such short notice. I hope they’re comfortable.

“Raise your head, young one.”  Came the king’s boom-y voice from above me.

Ah! Golly, it’s like he teleported here! Isn’t this room super long? What, did I fall asleep?

I finally raised my neck, and it hurt a little less. The king’s beard sure is as full as ever. And his crown’s real shiny. And the Archbishop sure is wrinkly. And his robes and hat blended in with the red carpet, which confused me.

“Stand.” The king commanded.

I stood. Are my legs shaking? I think my legs are shaking.

“Unveil thy Character Card.” He commanded some more.

I did. Oh, would you look at that, my arms are shaking, too.

“Archbishop.” The king tilted his head towards the guy he said.

“Yes, sire.” The Archbishop took a step towards me, and reached out his hand. I put my Card in it. His hands are less wrinkly. Isn’t that funny?

The silence is really loud. So’s my heart. Kathunk-athunk-athunk-athunk. Haha, that sure is funny.

“ALL, LEND ME THY EARS!” The Archbishop cried out a gravelly screech. “AND LISTEN TO THE DECREE OF THE GODS!”

We’re listening, we’re listening! Get on with it!

He pulled the card close to his face, squinting his old eyes.

“THE GODS HAVE DECREED…”

He squinted some more. Kathunk-athunka-thunka.

“AGELESS IMMORTALITY!” He screamed.

. . .

H…Huh? Seriously?

IMMORTALITY!? IMMORTALITY?! I’M AN IMMORTAL!? AS IN, LITERALLY CAN’T DIE?!? AS IN, LITERALLY CAN’T BE BEAT!?

HOLY

HOLY

HOOOLLY

NOTHING’S BEATING THAT! NOTHING IS EVER BEATING THAT!

“I’M GONNA BE THE GREATEST ADVENTURER OF ALL TIIIIIIIIME!!!!”

---

I slammed the palm of my hand into my forehead repeatedly, my face hot and red.

Stupid. Stupid.  

I can’t believe I ever did something like that. If I were king, I’d have executed me then and there. But instead everyone just laughed and started screaming again. I think I lost some of my hearing.

The whole family ran up and hugged me. Except Jyll, of course. We couldn’t stop screaming. I couldn’t stop smiling.

Stupid. Stupid.

After that was the party. First place I met all those assholes. A few other Skill Users welcomed me with open arms. Some teased me for being new, being “green”, because I guess bullying children is charming when you all have the iRrEpLaCeAbLe BoNd Of SkIlL UsErS! I didn’t care at the time, but I should’ve. Actually, what I should’ve done was leave. But I didn’t.

Next day, another Skill User and a couple legendary adventurers took me on a dungeon run, Necromn’s UnderTomb. A rite of passage for all Skill Users in the kingdom, I’m told.

I was hospitalized for a month.

We met one enemy. An animated stool. A stool.

A stool broke basically every bone in my body.

Turns out ‘Immortality’ and ‘Invulnerability’ are two very different things.

I was asleep for a while, even after the healing. I was hospitalized for well over a month. I never told anyone this, but I did wake up, just for a second, on the first day. I couldn’t move, or talk, or open my eyes, but I could hear. It was a young man’s voice, one of my ‘comrades.’

“Seriously? Isn’t that… Kinda useless?” His uneasy words etched into my soul. The chick he was talking to laughed uncomfortably. That was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep.

My ‘Skill’ isn’t even what saved me. Our healer did. My skill didn’t even have a chance to do anything. Immortality’s pretty useless when you just almost die.

If I were smart, I would’ve let it all break my spirit. If not the words and the hospital, then at least the interviews should’ve. So many godsdamned wannabe journalists using me to get their first big story. Ooh, lookie here, look at the anomaly boy! How did this happen!? How did an ALMIGHTY SKILL USER fall so easily? Let’s ask him the same 4 fucking questions over and over AND OVER AND OVER.

Somehow, I didn’t learn my lesson by the time I got out. I just held my head high and joined another party.

Sure, EVERYONE around the ENTIRE CONTINENT AND BEYOND knew that I, the newest Skill user, was hospitalized on my first encounter, but most were just happy to have any Skill user around.

‘Goblins have sprouted in the goblin cave again, go clear them out adventurers!’

A spear hit me in the foot, and I collapsed.

‘Ravenous wolves have been spotted in a nearby town!’

Bit in the arm, blacked out.

‘Go collect 5 Harvesters Sprouts from the local forest!’

Tripped on a tree root, got a concussion.

It took me 3 whole months before I got the hint.

I couldn’t use the Magic I’d learned anymore. I couldn’t use the Powers I trained for. My only Skill was, indeed, useless. Most of the other Skill Users told me as much. And they were right.

I couldn’t even physically train myself. I was immortal now; my body wouldn’t grow. Apparently, that’s part of being ‘ageless.’ That’s right, even right now, I still look like a new and fresh 13-year-old. One with a considerable amount of bags under his eyes.

Sure, I’ve got a little bulk from growing up as a farmhand, but that didn’t amount to much when all I could do was swing a sword around like an idiot.

Fortunately, I still had several thousand gold left from that dirty old king’s attempt to buy my favor. What kind of pervert gives a 13-year-old that much cash?

I spent some of it on staying in some cheap inn for a couple months, just wasting my days away.

It took another 4 months for people to finally stop caring about me. The questions were over. I could go home without worrying about weirdos bothering my family.

I still got some looks of pity and disgust from the riffraff, but it was okay. I could return to Graveton in peace.

I doubted I could get a normal job, considering my inability to use magic, and the infamy that comes from being a failure. I decided I’d just be a farmhand, until the day I… Didn’t die.

And now the sun’s beating on my face.

Ugh, fine, I’ll get up. I dispelled my Card.

I got up out of bed and hunched over, hiding my eyes from the sun with one hand and scratching my ass with the other.

I looked over at my dresser. I put this shirt on last night, right? Probably not dirty yet. Yeah, I’ll just keep wearing this.

Think I’ll head to the bathroom, splash my face with water a little bit so I don’t look like a total bum.

My feet slowly carried me to the sink, disappointingly tapping against the floor as I walked.

I put my Battery on the faucet so I could turn the water on. Looks like I’ve still got a good amount of juice left. That’s good.

I leaned down and splashed water all over my face. I looked back up at the mirror and saw a scowling, wet 13-year-old staring back at me.

I softened my dirty expression some to make the boy in the mirror look a little more personable. It helped somewhat. Happy birthday, little boy.

I dried my face off, and I went downstairs.  

I emerged and saw all 7 of my family members situated around the table, looking up at the stairs expectantly. I wondered how long they were there for.

I saw my mother and father sitting at the end, with an empty chair in between them.

Frankst and Abigail, who had both come home for the occasion, sat beside dad. Frankst’s spiky blue hair is just as jarring as ever. They’re both wearing townsfolk clothes, even though they’re adventurers by trade. They’re in the same party, too. They don’t talk to me about it.

In the remaining seats sat my younger sister, Jyll, who was the worst at hiding the pity in her eyes, my younger-er sister Amy, who looked to be the same age as me despite the 3 year difference, and littlest brother Byen, who seemed to be getting bigger every day.  

“Happy birthday!” They all shouted in mostly happy unison.

“W-Wow, thanks guys.” I returned, scratching my cheek and hoping I was smiling correctly.

I wish they didn’t do this. Though, I appreciate the commitment.

“Come, come!” My mother beckoned. “I made your favorite! Hurry, while it’s still hot!”

Apple pie hasn’t been my favorite in years. I came down anyways.

I sat down in the empty chair, and the eight of us just talked. Just like old times. Talked about the future, talked about the farm, talked about the town, and we didn’t talk about adventuring. The way they danced around it made my skin crawl, but I didn’t mention it. I never would.

I almost finished a slice of pie. It was sweet. So sweet that I wanted my tongue to fall off.

“Is there anything else you’d like to do today, Allin?” My mother asked while I stared at the pie crust I hadn’t finished.

“That’s right, the day’s all yours, little man!” My father said with a hearty laugh. “I can finally take you out drinkin! Heh, even if you still do look like a little kid-“

“Honey!” Mother scolded, seemingly under the impression that I’ll just forget if we stop talking about it. “As he said, we’ll take you wherever you like today! You still have so much money left, you should treat yourself to something fun!”

I really don’t want that to be ‘my’ money. “Maybe later.” I began, trying to sound personable. “In the mean-time, I’m gonna head out to the graveyard and-“

“Are you sure?” Frankst loudly interrupted. “We’re serious, we’ll do whatever you like! We could even-“

He didn’t finish his sentence. He just looked at me. His eyes were sad. Abigail stared out the window.

“It’s fine, really.” I said. “I just need some fresh air.”

I left before long.

Graveton, like the name implies, is home to a large graveyard. The largest in the country, actually. The whole town, and our farm, is built along the edge of it. Some ancient battles were fought here, ‘cus I think there was this weird magic thing here at some point? Anyways, the soil is littered with all manner of dead things, so the crops grow nice. There are a ton of graves to go along with the dead stuff, though all but the recent ones are unmarked.

The graveyard is home to a number of tall, thick oak trees. I like these trees. Its easy to unwind around them. I find graveyards comforting, in general. Guess it’s easier to stomach places like this when you’re not concerned about mortality.

I leaned against my favorite tree and took a load off. I closed my eyes, and inhaled deeply.

Aaand exhale… Ahh, that’s good… Maybe I’ll just fall back to sleep…

Hah, it’s funny, I found these trees so ominous as a kid. I thought something bad would happen if you went under them. Now, I’ve come to regard this one as an old friend.

Hmmmm… Aaaahhhh…

I opened my eyes again and looked out at the sprawling blue sky. It sure was blue.  

Wait, what’s that? Is that a bird? No, that’d be one weird looking bird. Much too tall. What is that?

I squinted and leaned forward, but that didn’t help at all. It’s getting closer… Is it coming to the town? What’s something like that doing here? Is… Oh, shoot, is that a person? Must be one hell of a mage to fly as fast as that.

 Hold on… Is that… Could it be… Yeah, no, I think that is. I think I recognize that purple blob off in the distance. That’s the same color as the robes that BoneLord used to wear. Is that him? Man, I haven’t seen him in years. What’s he doing in a place like this?

As his stupid nickname implies, he’s a Skill user. (I may be the only User in recorded history that doesn’t have a stupid nickname, by the way.) He’s basically a juiced-up necromancer. But instead of making corpses stand up and bumble around for a while, he can directly yet effortlessly control most any once-living stuff.  To incredible effect.

From the looks of things, he’s currently standing on a couple of bones, having them defy gravity and weight so they can zip him around wherever he likes. What’s he coming down here for? Digging up material? That’s not technically legal, but I’m sure as hell not gonna stop him.

It wasn’t long until the rough purple blob became the defined shape of a roughly 19-year-old person. He must’ve saw me, ‘cus he’s just turned his trajectory a little bit.

I waved at him as he approached. Wonder what he’s been up to lately.

He waved back, and before long his bones were coming to a slow and he was descending towards the ground.

He smiled joyously at me as he approached. “Ah, Allin, greetings! It’s been too long, hasn’t it?”

Despite his rather macabre Skill, he was always a very joy-filled and friendly individual. Even as the teasing from the other Skill users morphed into plainly stated disdain, Bonelord always treated me like an old friend would.

 Granted, acted like that around everyone else, too. Still, I appreciate the sentiment. He’s actually the one that introduced me to the serenity of graveyards, so I’m especially thankful for that.

“Yep. Been a couple years.” I said with a nod.

“Yes, it has, hasn’t it! Yet you haven’t aged a day! Ahah!” He kept the look on his face still as he stepped off his bones and onto the ground, before reaching out to shake my hand. I shakily accepted it. Been a while since I shook anyone’s hand. “Happy birthday, by the way!”

“Yeah, thanks.” I returned. I’m shocked he remembered.

“It’s a wonderful day, isn’t it? Simply splendid! An excellent day for a celebration, isn’t it?” He shifted beside me and put a hand on my shoulder while he stared up at the sky. He says ‘isn’t it’ and things of that nature a lot.

“Yeah, it’s nice.” I agreed. He was right, technically. Bright. Not so cloudy. Still wish someone would just put a blanket over the sun already, but it’s all good.

“So, how have you been? Spending time with family I hear! That’s good!” He patted my shoulder, which was weird, but that’s BoneLord.

Just who is he hearing that from? “Yeah, mostly. Working the farm. It’s peaceful.”

“Peace is nice, isn’t it?”

“Yeah… So, what’re you doing here?”

“Ah! I am also here to celebrate on this wonderful, wonderful day! What a happy coincidence that it also happened to be your birthday!”

“What’re you here to celebrate, BoneLord?” I call him BoneLord because I don’t know his real name, by the way. Never told me. Or maybe I forgot.

“Oh, only the most important of all things!” He exclaimed as jovial as ever. “The last days of this world!”

I nodded in response. “Yeah, that’s… Pardon?”

“Yes, the end of all days!” He continued with a laugh. “See, the world is alive! And it is going to die! And I would very much like to see what happens! And I suppose you’ll be right there with me, my immortal friend!”

“…What the hell are you talking about?” Is this supposed to be a joke? I’m not sure I follow… “What do you mean it’s going to die?”

“Well, I’m going to kill it, of course! Rather, I will be hastening the inevitable unraveling of life’s tapestry! All things must end, friend!” He turned his head towards me, and laughed. “Except maybe you, if that Skill of yours is to be believed, ahaha!”

He’s laughing, but the only funny thing was how ridiculous it all sounds. This must be some sick joke. Skill users were often like this. They love to act like being suddenly given god-like power for no good reason also gave them god-like wisdom. Always spouting whatever vaguely poetic lines popped into their stupid overpowered skulls.

That’s all this is. This is just some weird poetry.

There’s no reason for my heart to be racing like it is. No reason to be concerned with that gleam in his eye. No reason to be concerned about-

. . .

He raised his arm.

The ground beneath me quaked and tore apart in an instant. Before even a second had passed, I was surrounded by an army of things that could only be described as abominations. Horrific masses of miscellaneous bone, blood, and meat from countless creatures hideously mashed together without rhyme or reason.

Hundreds, thousands of fleshy blobs or vaguely humanoid shapes appeared out of the soil around me, their mere existences driving fear deep into every bit of my mind.

Except, they aren’t existences. There just extensions of him. Tens of thousands of unstoppable little fingers, all perfectly controlled by the smiling man.

And he’s just standing here. Beside me.

“Do not worry, friend!” He smiled. He still smiled. “I will not attack you! I do have faith in that Skill of yours, it would be pointless! I also have faith that there is nothing it can possibly do to me! Indeed, that thing of yours, is not nearly as useless as the others say! You should be very thankful, friend!”

 And he isn’t done, either. This wasn’t half of what’s ever died around here. He could keep going. And he was going to. And then he’d just get more. It was only a matter of… Not even time.

Even among Skill users, Bonelord’s a pretty big deal. I can’t even fathom the entire degree of control he has over the dead. ‘Literally anything’ doesn’t mean much to someone like me, but to him, it means everything.

I keeled over and vomited all over the broken earth below me as an army of cursed flesh marched around me. What a waste of good pie.

The stench was terrible. Unbearable. Though, I’m thankful. If not for it, I’d have been sitting there dreaming for gods know how long.

I didn’t say a word. I got up, and I started running.

I think I can hear him laughing behind me, but I don’t have any more time to stop and think.

So I didn’t think.

I ran beyond the valley and into the fields of wheat where I’d spent most of my life. I thought nothing as the masses of flesh effortlessly surpassed my speed and passed me, crushing our crop and turning them as black as coal. I thought nothing as my shoes rapidly slammed into the hard stone walkway leading to our front door.

I thought nothing as I threw the door to our little farmhouse open and slammed it behind me.

“ALLIN!” Frankst shouted beside the window, suddenly clad in his orange metal heavy armor, with his blade and shield at the ready. “Thank the gods, you’re-“

“BONELORD’S FUCKED IN THE HEAD, WE ALL NEED TO LEAVE.” THE TOWN’S ABOUT TO BE LEVELED, THIS ISN’T TIME FOR PLEASENTRIES YOU BLUE MORON!  

“The Skill user? But-“

“FUCKED IN THE HEAD! WE NEED TO-“

“A-Allin!” Our mother shouted from the top of the stairs. I think everyone else is huddled up in our attic room. Good. “Thank the gods- BOTH OF YOU, UPSTAIRS NOW!” She screamed. Glad she also realized there’s no time to be thankful.

“Allin, hurry!” Frankst shouted. “I’ll-“

“YOU’RE COMING TOO, FRANKST.” Our mother shouted back before he could finish. “BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR SISTER WE HAVE 6 TELEPORTATION SCROLLS. IT’S ALREADY BEEN DECIDED THAT YOUR FATHER AND I WILL BE STAYING BACK, YOU NEED TO MAKE IT TO THE CAPITAL-“

Wait, 6? But-

“I’m sorry mother, but I’ve already given Abigail my scrolls.” He raised his sword and stood proudly.

6 isn’t enough… They’ll die.

“As the eldest son, I could never live in peace knowing my home was ravaged by these creatures. Goodbye, mother. Give my regards to father.”

What… What are you acting all cool for?

“FRANKST, I FORBID-“

He smashed the window with the hilt of his blade, and escaped with a Leap spell.

What are you doing? Going up against a Skill user by yourself? When you’re just a guy?

And 6 still isn’t enough. Someone’ll have to…

“DAMNIT, ALLIN, HURRY, BEFORE-“

Damnit. You moron… You can’t just… You can’t just leave us with that impossible choice…

Damnit. DAMNIT.

“AAAAHHH, I’M A SKILL USER TOO, DAMNIT!” I pulled out my character card and brought my scythe to my hands. No one else has to die here today. Not even me. Like it or not, I’m immortal. If there’s anyone that can beat the lord of death, it’s the guy who can’t die in the first place.

“ALLIN, DON’T, I-“

I slammed the door shut before I could hear any more of her words.

Clouds of blood and flesh blotted out the sky overhead, casting the sky into darkness.

Beside me, I could see Frankst’s armor collapsed on the earth, crushed by a stringy mass of eyes and meats spreading its twine across every inch of our farm while eating away at the wooden walls of our house. His body was already gone.

I desperately swung my scythe into it, hacking out familiar body parts and a mass of blue hair.

“Allin, my friend, how uncharacteristically violent of you!” Came a familiarly joyous voice from above. “I already said you would not be harmed, you have no reason to fear!”

“DAMNIT, BONELORD, STOP THIS!”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Allin. The world’s undoing has already begun. To stop it now would be to condemn life itself!”

“THEN COME DOWN HERE AND FACE ME!” ALSO, THAT’S DUMB AS HELL!

“Oh, Allin…” He laughed to himself, shaking his head. “So riled up, so full of energy! You are a lucky man, friend, to have the privilege of everlasting youth! Because you and I are such friends, I will grant you this opportunity!” He descended to the ground, standing with open arms about 30 feet away from me on our cold, stone path. “You may strike at me as much as you like! Though, be advised, you will not be able to pierce my armor of flesh with mere farming equipment!”

Yeah, that was trump card. Whenever he felt threatened, he’d coat himself in decayed flesh made impenetrable by his Skill. I must’ve been an idiot for not figuring out he was evil the first time I heard that.

“Once you’ve got it all out of your system, you will come with me! We will play checkers!”

All I could do was scream as I reached my arms and my scythe back and charged at him faster than I’d ever thought I was capable of.

“Ah, and do watch your step!”

Gods, he talks too much. I don’t care HOW many hits it takes, I’m NEVER GOING TO STOP UNTIL I’VE TORN HIS THROAT FROM HIS BODY! EAT SHIT YOU STUPID-

.

.

.

.

Hm.

The world suddenly got really slow, hasn’t it.

Seems like the ground’s getting closer to me.

Oh, no, how silly of me. It’s me that’s getting closer to the ground. Of course, haha.

I seem to have lost my footing. As in, neither of my feet are on the ground at the moment.

How fast was I running? Whew, I don’t really know, but… Sure was fast, wasn’t it?

And my arms are raised so high they’re almost behind my head. I was leaning forward, too, I suppose trying to get a better swing.

So, all the force that I was going to put into that swing will now be applied to the thing that collides with the cold, stone path.

Which will be my skull.

“FUCK”

And then I heard the crack.

And then it went dark.

And then I was suddenly really tired.

“Ahh, hell, the suns so bright…” I mused, groggily blinking my eyes open.

Oh, thank the gods I’m fine. Hah, I must’ve just been dreaming… Good, that makes sense… Yeah, I’m back in…

A… Big… Blue room… With a bunch of people in weird clothes standing in front of dusty old inanimate masses of gore, cased in glass boxes along the perimeter of the room, with signs and red ropes in front of all of them.

There was a kid staring at me, behind a red rope. A little guy, probably around the age of 8, a little younger than Byen. What’s he staring at me with those wide, confused eyes about so early in the morning?

“Wha-thehells doya think yer lookin’ at?” The words fell out of my mouth as I rolled my neck. Gods, every part of my body’s stiff…

The boy started screaming.  

I started screaming.

“WHAT THE-!? WHERE THE HELL AM I!? HELL IS GOING ON HERE?” I screamed as I pulled out my Card and equipped my wooden sword and started beating on the glass, which I just realized I was trapped in.

Other people started looking at me, and they started screaming, too.

“HOLY SHIT IT’S ALIVE!” One particularly tall and lanky brown-haired man shouted.

“FUCK DO YOU MEAN ‘IT’S ALIVE?” The glass shattered after a few strikes with my blade, and I stepped out towards the horrified and awestruck masses.

A loud buzzing sound blared from the ceiling, and pulsating red lights came out of nowhere and hurt my eyes and my head.

“WELL, YOU ARE!” The man shouted louder this time.

“YEAH? YOU THINK SO, GENIUS?” I shouted back with a faux-smile. A pack of armed men stormed into the room in uniform, but they too just stood and stared once they got a look at me.

“READ THE PLACARD!”

Placard? What placard? There’s a dozen freaking plac-

Oh, there’s one right next to me.

“WHY!?”

“BECAUSE YOU SEEM CONFUSED!”

“… YEAH, OKAY.”

I stepped over the red rope and stood in front of the little sign in front of my glass cage, and leaned down to- AAAAH, HELL

“I CAN’T READ WITH ALL THESE LIGHTS AND THE NOISE! WHERE THE HELL IS IT EVEN COMING FROM?!!” I shouted, growing increasingly angry with each passing second.

“OI, YOU, GUY, GO TURN OFF THE ALARM!” The lanky man shouted at one of them men in uniform. “AND BE QUICK ABOUT IT!”  

“RIGHT AWAY!” The man shouted before speeding off.

Before long, the lights and the noise had stopped.

“FINALLY. THANK YOU.”

“YEAH, MY DAD’S THE PROPRIETOR OF THIS PLACE, I CAN DO THAT.”

“I DIDN’T ASK.” I don’t know why we’re still screaming.

“DAMN, OKAY.”

Okay, what’s this thing say… Gods, the grammar is terrible, who wrote this? Half the words have at least one wrong or missing letter. Is this even the same language? No, it it’s the same… I’ll just skim what I can.

‘The Infinity Kid’ That’s a stupid name. ‘300 Years… First Great Rending… Found in the ruined lair of Evil Lord Solstice ‘Bonelord’ Nocturne… More than a trophy… Treated like a guest, or a friend… Skull completely shattered… No sign of consciousness, yet alive in every sense…  In recent years the skull as completely healed… Even now, his heart still beats…’

None of this makes any sense. Why are they talking about Bonelord? Isn’t he…

Wait.

300 years?

300 years ago?

“Wh... What year is it?”

“1223 F.T” Said the lanky man.

Ah.

So. 300 years ago, I died. Or, I would have, if my Skill hadn’t kept me alive. It just took 300 years to wake me up again.

In that time, Bonelord was defeated.

In that time, everyone I ever knew died. And just about everything changed.

So, not only did I not save anyone, but I also had to start anew in a world I didn’t recognize.

“THIS SKILL’S EVEN MORE USELESS THAN I THOUGHT!”

---

The year is 1323 F.T

My name is Allin Shige. If you met me, you’d think I’m barely a teenager, but I’m actually 416 years old. It’s been 100 years since I woke up in that museum... Man, that was somethin’…

The world’s changed a lot in these past several hundred years.

The kingdom became a republic after the first Great Rending. It was also a theocracy for a bit before it became a republic, but that didn’t last long.

The First Great Rending was when a friend of mine decided he wanted the world to end for some reason. He almost succeeded, but he was stopped by a team of heroes, helmed by the famed Skill User Asahi – The Lightgiver. The only man to ever have 2 Skills. Lifegift, which granted him limitless Life and Vitality, and Unending Heart, which granted him the ability to mimic and perfect any Power or Magic he’s seen for himself.

It’s said that he single-handedly defeated my friend by sealing away and copying his Skill, awakening him to his 3^rd Skill, Fountain of Faith.

Also, he’s a reincarnator. And he had, like, 5 different hot chicks in his party all vying for his affection.

Don’t get me started on reincarnators… Stupid supernatural attractiveness and godlike powers… mnnmbmbmb… Stupid…

But that’s enough about that. He and his squad disappeared long before I woke up.

Graveton, my hometown, became just Ton at some point. Yeah, the whole graveyard was uprooted, so they changed the name. The land that used to be my family’s farm is now a small part of a sprawling city street. There’s a shitty coffee shop where our house once was.

Technology and advancements in magic have surpassed even my wildest dreams. Flying boats, fluorescent lights, there’s this thing called pizza, it’s really tasty, almost everyone carries around these rocks that open portals that’ll take you to any major city in an instant.

So many new metals, alloys, and magical implements have been discovered, armor and weapons are capable of things I couldn’t even fathom 400 years ago. And I could go on and on about food production and convenience.

Sure, the various Rendings have made the world even more dangerous, with new monsters spawning out of the thin air and crawling out of every crack and hole, but that also means that adventuring and being a hero is more profitable than ever.

A little under 100 years ago, I decided that it was high time I get in on that action.

When I was young, something like that would’ve been impossible. But, with advancements in technology, even someone like me can become a great adventurer! All I needed was money. And to get money, all I needed was time.

And I just so happen to be immortal. I had all the time in the world. I finally found a use for my Skill.

So, I became a hermit, and moved out to a small cottage in the middle of a big empty field in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the midwest. I was able to finance it by spending a few months appearing on MV (magicvision) shows and interviews. I had some experience as a celebrity beforehand, so I was able to adapt relatively quickly.

But fame was fleeting, and the cash flow would never be close to enough to afford what I desired.

So, I began what is locally known as ‘The Grind.’

I did nothing but kill low-level monsters as they spawned around me, day in and day out for a little under a hundred years and harvested their Crystals and anything else they had on them and sold them all for cold hard cash.

Most of the things I sold became nigh worthless within a few decades, but Crystals, Crystals were always the money maker. Crystals are used to power everything in the modern world, and the more technology progresses, the more Crystals people need.

Despite being the world’s number one seller of small Crystals for the past 100 years, I don’t really know what they are. Crystals like this didn’t used to exist, but monsters started dropping them when they died sometime after the first Great Rending. I have no idea why. I never bothered learning anything that happened after the first Great Rending.

I’ve learned a lot about myself these past 100 years, though… Mostly the fact that, due to my immortality, not only can I not age physically, but I’m still the same mentally, too. I still have the emotional and mental maturity of a 13-year-old. Fortunately, that only served to keep me energetic and committed to the Grind.

And, at long last, the results of my Grind will finally pay off.

I’ve returned to the new capital, and am now ascending the long and windy steps of the Arcanists tower with well over a million gold to my name.

I passed many an Adventurer on my way up. Those who didn’t know me gave me strange looks, and those who did gave me reverence.  

. . . This is a really long staircase. 20 stories just winding up and up for no good reason. I think he built it this way on purpose. To screw with people. Because he’s a bastard.

. . .

. . .

Okay, I’m at the top. Just gonna… Take a sec… Gotta catch my breath.

. . .

Okay, I’m good.

I knocked on the hatch at the top of the tower.

“OI! Is that you, Immortal boy?” A disembodied voice magically echoed all around me. “Does’at mean it’s time?” 

“Yes, Arcanist.” I answered. “It’s time.”

“OI, come on in then!”

The hatch magically opened, and I stepped through into an impossibly large room, full of magic and cauldrons and anvils tables and bookshelves and all manner of things. If you measured this room from the outside, it wouldn’t be half as big as it is inside. That’s how the Arcanist operates.

“Welcome, good to see ya man, good to see ya!” Said the tall and lanky man with a long gray beard.

The Arcanist came from old money, his father being the proprietor of the biggest history museum in the continent, but he’s used those resources to make a much grander name for himself. Today, he is the undisputed worlds best Magescript, Blacksmith, Alchemist, Historian, Magesmith, if it involves making or knowing something, he’s the best at it.

He acts like a dope, but he’s 121 years old, his lifespan extended significantly thanks to his own self-tested magical experiments. He says he’ll live to be 180 before he starts getting frail.  

He’d be one of the wealthiest men in the world, if only he didn’t constantly spend his money on incredibly impractical projects and bad practical jokes.

Still, he’s the only man I trust to forge my gear.

“You do have it prepared, right?” I asked.

“Oi, of course I do, who do you take me for? It’s all ‘ere!” He pulled a small white sack out of his trousers, and placed it on a nearby table, atop the green tablecloth. “Feel free to take a look if you want!”

Cautiously, I opened the bag, half expecting a bunch of toy snakes he’d given sentience to fly out of the bag at me. But… No, there it was.

The Dragonking’s Armor of the Null Lords.

The highest quality. The best materials. Completely indestructible, yet lightweight, and granting superhuman boosts to all physical abilities. On top of that, it has innate anti-magic properties. Few sane adventurers have ever donned this set before for the immense cost and magic limitation, but such things are of no consequence to me.

It’s all there… Helmet, chest, arms, rings, legs, boots… Sword, axe, hammer, shield… Alternate set of rings, two handed variants of all the weapons… Bow… Lightbow… Lighterbow… Yeah, that’s everything.

“And I trust you have the money, correct?” He asked with a laugh, as the answer was obvious.

“Of course.” I pulled out my Character Card and reached out my arm to begin the Trade.

“Nonono, no Trade! I want to SEE the gold!”

“No Trade? How do I know you’re not scamming me, old man?”

“You’re older than me, aren’t you?” He laughed. “If you’re concerned, just take the armor now!”

Hm.

Okay, that does sound pretty reasonable.

I grabbed the bag from the table, and it disappeared. Looking down at my Card… Yeah, it’s all there. All just right. No foolin’

“Okay. Show me where to put the gold.” I nodded.

He lead me to a small door at the back of the room. This lead to an even larger room than the last, entirely empty except for the several story tall diving board.

“… You’ll die if you try that.” I said, looking up at the diving board.

“I got wards, I’ll be fine.” He dismissed with a wave of his hand. “Now, the gold!”

Oh, whatever. I shrugged my disbelief away, and pulled out my Character Card. Alright, lets see… Gotta scroll down a bit...

“Ah, Character Cards… So archaic.” He mused, grinning. “On Status Screens, money is easily visible right at the top, see? Right below MP and XP? I pity you.”

“Yeah yeah, shut up…”

Ah, there it is. Okay, dropping the gold.

I fell backwards as the overwhelming mass of gold dropped before me, almost filling the room. Weird that there’s a limit on carrying capacity for everything except coins, isn’t it? You could totally kill someone like this.

“Ah! There it is! Beautiful, beautiful!” The Arcanist celebrated, jumping up and down like a child. “Many thanks, my immortal friend!”

“Yeah… Don’t… mention it…”

Holy crap.

I guess I haven’t really felt it up to this point, but… It’s all about to become real, isn’t it?

Finally, everything I dreamed of all those years ago, it’s… It’s about to be real!

I’m just staring down at my Card, hovering over the selection option.

It was… Finally time! I was finally going to be a great adventurer!

Mother, Father, sisters, brothers… Wherever you are these days, I hope you’re watching this. At long last, I can finally make you proud.

Finally… It’s time for my adventure to begin! EQUIP!

ERROR.

Hm?

ERROR. ERROR. ERROR. ERROR.

Huh?

“Hm? Now, that’s odd…” Said the Arcanist, standing beside me and looking down at the big red letters on my Card. “There shouldn’t be any stat requirements… I swear to you, this isn’t a gag! I’ve not done anything funny this time!”

ERROR. ERROR. ERROR.

“Hold on a moment… Could it be that you’re not high enough level to equip it? But the enchantments should’ve made it wearable as early as level 3...”

Slowly, my head turned over to him, my eyes quivering. “High enough what?”

“Level!”

“I… Have no clue…”

“Are you not- Oh! Ah, yes, that might be after your time, isn’t it? Indeed, I always forget, the Unearthing happened AFTER the first Great Rending! Yes, ever since then Humans (but mostly adventure-y types) have been able to raise these things called “levels”, an arbitration of personal power made manifest! It allows us to do all sorts of things! I’m level 87, myself! And I guess you are… Probably… Unable to… Level…”

Ah…………..

“Damn”

. . .

. . .