“Most facts about artificial evolution are wrong. First, it’s not evolution, in any case, it would be metamorphosis. Though we already know who to blame for rotting everyone’s brains around that subject. Second, biological evolution was not purposely investigated, it was an accidental parallel discovery between a cancer research group and an artificial meat conglomerate working with stem cells.”

-Béatrice Laurent, 2100, Medical and Biological Malpractice

---

I don’t believe I will ever forget the shock in Gloria’s face. Though the details were already blurry as my head spun around. I led my body to the ground, falling from the stall, and continued emptying my stomach there.

“I’ll get the mop.” I heard Jill sigh, but I was more focused on my suffering to dedicate my limited attention to the barista.

There wasn’t much on my vomit. Nor color, nor contents. Biological evolution made the stomach more efficient at processing foods, and the main meal I had was many hours ago. But the remains of my protein bar and the nuts were easily identifiable on the mess.

“Uhk!” Another burst traveled up my throat and towards its destination of the bar’s wooden ground. Mostly bile at this point.

I took a deep breath, then another. My back slumped on the counter, my legs automatically stretching forward. I had my eyes closed but I could hear the wet sounds of someone wiping the floor.

“Can I get some water?” I weakly asked from the floor.

“Sure, buddy.” I heard the sound of a tap and opened my eyes. I was so sluggish even with a task as simple as blinking that Jill had already the glass of water in his hands.

I took it and drank it greedily, as if I had been traveling in the desert for days and had long run out of water.

“Fuck…” I twisted my head upwards, the lights of the ceiling blinding me. Why I had to take alcohol this soon after finishing my evolution? This mustn’t be recommended. Ugh, and the wine too. I fucked up. Embarrassment overtook my being. On the first day of my evolution and meeting new humans and I puke in one of them in the face. Earth, swallow me. I wanted to die.

“Hey,” Jill whispered and snapped his fingers. It sounded too far away to be directed at me. “You ok?” Then I noticed he was talking to Gloria.

“Oh, yes. Thanks.” I twisted my neck to look at how she was wiping her face with a towel. The front of her chess was ruined by vomit.

Slowly and painfully, I stood up, more than one groaned escaping my mouth. I could already feel my human regeneration kick in, my insides shifting in a pleasurable yet painful manner.

Jill and Gloria’s eyes focused on me.

“I am so sorry.” I apologized half-bowing. “And for the dress.”

Gloria looked at me with confusion and then down at her to find what I was talking about. “This?” She grabbed the soiled part of her pink dress. “Don’t worry about it. I know my textiles, this is easy to remove.” The seamstress laughed. “And don’t apologize! This is solely my fault, don’t look so mortified.”

“Damn right, it’s your fault!” Jill knocked Gloria in the head with her knuckles. “What the hell were you thinking thrashing the boy around like a rag?”

“I got excited, sorry!” She clapped her hands.

“You shouldn’t apologize to me, but the boy, woman!” He bonked her again.

“I’m so sorry, Lorem!” Gloria directed to me now and bowed down a solid 90 degrees even in her sitting position. I was more astonished at the woman’s flexibility than the apology.

“N-no problem.” It was always hard to accept apologies. “But why did you react in that manner?”

“Well…” Gloria blushed and clasped her four hands together in pairs. “The yukata you are wearing is based – or more like a one-to-one recreation – in Ichiro-kun’s, one of one of the main cast of…”

“Stop right there, woman!” And now Jill karate-chopped her. “I will not let you utter that manga’s name in my establishment, nor curse the boy with its name.”

“You are so bad to me, Jill!” The seamstress covered her head in pain with her upper hands and was on the verge of tears.

“I am not the one who centrifuged a person.” The barista crossed his arms. “You have no moral ground to stand on.”

“I said I’m sorry!” Gloria bowled. “You forgive me. Right, Lorem?”

“Yes?” I added a bit stupefied at the developing scene. It was mostly my fault for drinking this much alcohol when I was hospitalized, and even then, I had learned how to shapeshift. A little vomit wouldn’t take me that away. Talking about vomit… “Uhk.”

I barely managed to keep the bile in.

“Seriously dude, what the fuck is in the drink?” This was a lethal weapon.

“Certainly not something that bad.” Jill shrugged. He just shrugged. “I’m not even joking. You just came out of evolution, maybe you aren’t just used to your new body. There can be post-evolution complications, even if they aren’t common. Just ease with the drink for a few days, a month if you can go that long without.”

“Who do you take me for?” I shouted offended. “I’m no alcoholic! It wasn’t my idea to drink this poison.”

“Sorry.” Gloria weakly mumbled.

“I’ll take my leave.” I pushed the stool away. None made a fuss out of it. But it felt bad to get away on such a bad note. “Send me a DM with you are done with my tunic, Gloria. We’ll restart the lessons then.”

Perhaps it was my choice of words, but the seamstress's sulk dissipated. “Sure!” And she responded with a smile.

Oh my… I think I’ve never met someone so volatile. At least Jill seems fine… Far better than most male students. I was aware that I tended to orbit around women, as Mérida said “You have that gay aura, man” even if told time and time again that I favored women. Makoto response to that was that it only was the aura, that I was the token male friend.

…Those words hurt me more than the gay aura stuff.

And as it would seem, alcohol really made you recall and ponder over your life choices. I went to my quarters before I messed up. Or the girls found me.

The latter felt like a destiny worse than death.

The quarters felt my presence, I didn’t even need to check in the door, it simply by itself.

“Sandra?” I raised my voice, supposing it was the work of my VI assistant.

“Yes, Lorem?” The blue lights flickered in response.

“You were the one who opened the door, right?” I was 99.9% sure that was the case, but if for some reason it was unlocked and someone had made its way in without being detected by the virtual intelligence, I had to be ready.

“Affirmative,” Sandra didn’t ponder over my obvious question.

Just in case, I checked the bath before lying in bed.

“Note: Alcohol bolsters my paranoia,” I mumbled with an arm on top of my eyes.

“Note taken.” The VI replied.

“I… I wasn’t talking to you, but I guess it’s appreciated. If you see I am acting a bit too paranoid, please tell me.”

“Understood,” The lights flickered in acknowledgment.

“I’m going to go to my tycoon now, probably sleep too. Lock the door if you haven’t, will you?”

“Understood. However, I would recommend that you change clothes before doing so.” I grunted at Sandra’s suggestion but followed it nonetheless.

There wasn’t vomit in the yukata, but it reaked a bit. I donned a simple bathrobe and went back to bed.

“Satisfied?” I raised one arm to one of the lights above my bed.

“Quite,” Sandra responded with quite the smug for a program. “You have also followed my suggestion in searching for other humans and socializing.”

“How do you know that? I could have drunk myself to death alone for all that you know.”

“Your brain is sending signals to glandules associated with socializing and mating.” My assistant with frigid easiness.

“Right… let me ask again. How do you know that?” It was obvious even for a VI that the meaning of the question had changed.

“I am your personal assistant, Lorem,” Sandra informed. “I am connected to your interface, which also holds your vital signals besides other information.”

“Why didn’t I know this?” I was too tired for this shit.

“You had not asked.” I know Sandra was capable of sarcasm and verbal back-and-forth, but the stale tone indicated to me that she simply didn’t tell me because yes, I had indeed not asked.

“I’m too tired for this shit.” This time I didn’t bother hiding my thoughts and simply connected to Project Tycoon before Sandra could retort.