Chapter 9 – OCD
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Read up to chapter 18 on royal road.

The Heavens

The sky burned.

The earth rumbled.

The very heavens seemed to tremble as the will of a god crashed down on the world, a blazing hammer promising death and vengeance.

Fear crept up from the darkest reaches of Xiao Lee’s mind at the might of a will powerful enough to crush him with a thought.

Or so it would have been if he was still a Great Lord on Xenus.

Amid the destruction, he drifted lazily hundreds of metres in the air, completely unaffected by the chaos around him. He met the focused will of a mid-Neophyte and was unimpressed.

Refined by the Qi of a High Beast on the lightning path, he could already feel that his advancement was the highest quality he had ever had. Something that was already confirmed by the enemy he now faced.

It was supposedly representative of an average mid-Neophyte, but he knew even the average Lasvanian would have a foundation better than his own. He really had to give his utmost gratitude to Director Elise when he saw her again.

He turned his focus to his simulated enemy, qi flooding his meridians as he manifested a technique into reality.

Path of Power: Heaven’s Wrath.

It was a core technique, a direct manifestation of his path. For a brief moment, the sky turned dark and the world stilled, a moment of silence before the storm.

And then the world turned white, the sky raining down dozens of his attuned lightning bolts, all with a single target.

His opponent tried to avoid the bolts, capitalising on the reflexes of a mid Neophyte.

Alas, it was not to be. The bolts had already locked in their target, and no amount of dodging would deny them their destination. The simulation lit up as it was hit with multiple bolts of attuned lightning, each containing just a hint of a higher concept.

Whatever shield his enemy had set up was woefully inadequate, as its smoking body lay crumpled on the floor. It was still alive, no doubt, but it had likely lost its capacity to threaten him.

A few lightning bolts and a Hand of the Lightning God were enough to put an end to the threat permanently.

Xiao Lee watched the world from his position in the air.

The land was destroyed for kilometres around, a side effect of a quick battle between two people at the bottom of the Lasvanian power scale. He could not even begin to comprehend how much damage a simple technique from a High Cultivator would cause.

He pondered his next course of action. He could not cultivate, lest he ruin his foundation. The next mission was still some days away, leaving him with surplus free time and nothing to do.

A small part of him, a part that was not often heard, realised that he had nothing to do outside cultivation. Perhaps he could browse through the vast repository of information his neural processor offered him access to. Or, even better, he could speak to Bornie. He had enjoyed her conversation the previous night, and she had given him her contact information.

Like he had done for most of his life, Xiao Lee ignored that small voice. Fighting opponents, even simulated, would help him solidify his foundation quicker. Of course it was no choice at all.

* * *

The world lay in chaos.

Across hundreds of kilometres, patches of different kinds of qi, from fire to metal, ravaged the world.

Though the type of qi varied by location, one particular qi remained the same across the entire area.

Potent lightning qi, with the slight hint of a High Concept, filled the air. Lightning struck at random, and no living thing was safe as even the air served as an unwilling conductor.

Though any worry for the sake of survivors was clearly misplaced, for nothing had survived the great battles that ravaged the earth. From great cities to entire mountain ranges, all were wiped from the face of the earth, indeed none were spared.

In the centre of it all only one victor remained. Standing on what was once a towering mountain, now reduced to a stump that was barely a hill, was a man who looked like he was no worse for wear.

A convincing facade.

Though he looked unaffected by the devastation to the outside world, he knew how far from the truth that was. He could barely stand as he fought to calm his ravaging qi.

His last fight was definitely among the most difficult opponents he had ever faced. Contrary to what he initially thought, his first opponent was not representative of the average Mid-Neophyte, it turned out.

There were ten opponents he had to face, with the first being the lowest of low. The actual average was much more difficult to defeat. By the time he got to number eight, he knew he couldn’t go further. He couldn’t actually remember the last time he’d been so exhausted.

He mentally checked the time and was surprised to see two days had passed.

He had fought non-stop for two days straight.

The last time that had happened was when he was playing hero for the Empire and he had to fight people who were his close matches. He was grateful those days were long behind him. Life and death battles were not something he enjoyed.

After a pulse of qi through his spirit left him feeling invigorated, he logged out, opening his eyes to find himself floating in the air in a lotus position.

A quick sweep of the house showed him Lisa was in the living room downstairs. She was speaking with someone who was shielding themselves from his senses. He couldn’t hear anything they said.

He thought about going downstairs for a moment before shrugging. There was no point in interrupting Lisa. Particularly when she seemed to want privacy.

Since he could neither cultivate nor go downstairs , he decided to check his processor. He wondered how his video had done.

A flood of notifications filled his mind as he opened the app. Most of them were related to the video.

His eyes widened when he saw the numbers on his video.

A million people was the size of a large city on Xenus. When he saw a million followers on his account, he was amazed, but it was not an impossible feat to him. He had cities that formed cults in his name after all.

That was nothing compared to what floated in the air in front of him.

Congratulations on hitting 2 billion views on a single video.

Two billion views!

The empire only had around 300 million people according to the last census he witnessed.

When he opened the video, he saw 200 million likes and a hundred thousand comments. Though he wasn't sure he liked the idea of being judged and viewed by so many people, he didn’t see a better choice. Anything that would let him advance smoothly.

He scrolled through the comments, oddly apprehensive of what he’d see. He usually didn’t care what people said about him.

Then again, most people were usually too afraid to say anything negative about him on Xenus.

Most of the comments were positive. There were some that laughed good naturedly, while others praised him and his culture. Though he suspected they simply saw him as an exotic thing. Interesting because it was new and shiny, yet not taking him seriously. Not dissimilar from how the sects treated most sentient beasts.

While most of the comments were predictable, there were some that made him pause. Most notably, a particular comment asked a question that fascinated him.

“Wait, is this guy a mid-Neophyte already? He definitely has OCD.”

He had no idea what OCD was of course. Yet most of the replies seemed to agree. Apparently, there was no way he could cultivate that fast without OCD.

He tried to use the search function that supposedly came with his neural processor.

“What is OCD?”

It said a lot about how much he was getting accustomed to Lasvania when he was barely startled by the burst of information that suddenly filled his mind.

Obsessive Cultivation Disorder, is a mental disorder in which the individual has intrusive thoughts that compel them to focus single mindedly on cultivation, often to the point of neglecting other things.

He went through the information, his frown increasing the further he got. He had always known he was more obsessed with cultivation than most. He’d simply chalked it up to his impressive talent and the fact that he came from weakness. It had made sense. Afterall, tales of heroes that focused on cultivation above all had dominated his childhood.

Yet, the symptoms he saw, from the inability to stop cultivating, to the tendency to place it above even his individual well being and personal relationships, fit him perfectly.

He was conflicted. Prioritising his advancement was a truth so fundamental to him that it had helped him ascend. All his training and experience told him his core truth could not be changed without destroying his foundation.

Then again, Lasvania had changed his perception of what was possible in so many ways so far. Perhaps a solution wasn’t as far fetched as he thought. He had definitely spent many a night wishing he could change his core truth, even a little, so he could create balance between his friends and his cultivation.

Though the solutions he read through brought up his hopes, he thought it would be prudent to seek direct counsel on a subject he barely knew before making any kind of decision.

He would have to discuss it with Lisa. Or perhaps Bornie. It did seem like the kind of thing she would have extensive knowledge about.

After reading through the comments and noticing nothing particularly important, he contemplated on what to do.

His senses told him that Lisa was still having her conversation, something he had no intention of interfering in. They didn’t have any jobs from the Ministry for the next few days. It was an interesting situation, as, for the first time in a long time, he couldn’t cultivate.

Faced with nothing to do, he reached out to one of the only people he knew.

“Greetings Miss Bornie,” he said the moment she appeared in front of him. Even now, he still had to actively resist the urge to bow.

“Just Bornie, Lee,” she corrected with a sly smile. “Congratulations on your advancement. Told you machine food was superior.”

He took a moment to marvel at yet another wonder the Lasvanians had created. The woman that stood in front of him was physically present to all his senses. He could even feel the qi around her. It was a strange qi that felt there and yet not. It had definitely not been present the previous night.

“Gratitude. The High Beast flesh was indeed a heaven sent blessing.”

“More like government sent,” she scoffed. “Lasvania is as close as you’ll get to 'heaven'.”

“Of course,” he said hesitantly, not sure how to reply to that. “Could I ask a question, Bonnie?”

“Yeah, what's that?”

“Could you confirm if I have Obsessive Cultivation Disorder,” he asked, hoping she could enlighten him.

“Hmmm. Are you cycling right now?”

“Of course,” he replied in confusion. He always cycled.

“When last did you stop cycling?”

“When I heard the High MInister’s voice yesterday. It was part of what worried me most,” he said honestly.

“Could you stop cycling now,” she asked. “Just for a minute.”

He frowned at the strange request but complied, albeit hesitantly. He hadn’t willingly stopped cycling for years.

He felt his world lurch for half a second. When he stabilised, he sensed a feeling of loss so deep that it took all his willpower not to start cycling again immediately. Even then, he let out a groan as his control slipped and he started cycling again.

He suddenly remembered a lecture, one he had learnt over two decades ago, when the Dragon Lord had just taken him on.

‘“Xiao Lee, do you know the biggest mistake a cultivator can make,” the Dragon Lord asked.

“No master. Please teach this your ignorant disciple,” the young boy, eager to absorb all his master’s knowledge, answered.

“The biggest mistake a cultivator can make is to let himself be controlled, Xiao Lee. A cultivator must have an iron will, and must not break under pressure or temptation. Remember student, if there is something you cannot live without, then you will be a slave to it. It is why cultivators seek to be free from the trappings of the flesh. Indeed one who does not need breath, food and drink is one who is beholden to none.”’

Somehow, without realising it, he had become a slave to his cultivation. No amount of willpower was enough to resist what was now effectively a part of his existence.

“Oh,” Bornie said, surprise evident in her voice. “That's bad.”

“What was it, please,” he asked, feeling apprehensive.

“You have OCD. I can’t confirm without going to a professional but I’m almost certain you have the worst type,” she said with uncharacteristic grimness. “If it's bad enough that you can’t willingly stop your own cycling, then it’s bad enough to push you to act recklessly. You need treatment Lee. You’re even worse than LIsa.”

“Does Lisa have it too,” he asked, confused.

“Of course she does,’ she said with an eye roll. “Almost every cultivator at a certain level of talent has OCD. There are a few exceptions, but the kind of drive you need to hit the first ceiling before thirty isn’t something the average person is capable of.”

That made him frown. He hadn’t questioned it before but given how easy it was for him to get to Mid Neophyte, he’d have expected someone that was seemingly as talented and well connected as Lisa to have hit Master earlier.

“Is it really that hard to hit Master,” he voiced his concerns. “Surely with enough talent and resources you could hit it before twenty.”

He was honestly not surprised when she burst into rolling fits of laughter. She kept it on for nearly a minute before she calmed down.

“‘With enough resources’, he says” she said, struggling to contain her laughter. “You had the extremely rare privilege of eating a High Beast, Lee. Not only is killing the vast majority of High Beasts considered murder by the law, the government also enforces a very strict monopoly on the few that are not sentient. High Beast flesh is a strategic resource. What happened yesterday was an anomaly. The Ministry must have pushed very hard for it.

“And don’t forget, Neophyte is very easy to advance through. The real work starts at Journeyman. I know your ascension speed broke a few records and you’ve had lightning fast cultivation, but don’t get too used to it.”

"Of course," he said, not quite convinced. He had heard different variations of that multiple times on Xenus but Bornie was smart and there was no reason to antagonise her.

"Thank you for your wisdom."

"You're most welcome," she said haughtily, looking very smug. "You know, it'd be nice if the others appreciated my wisdom as much. Maybe I should make you my bestie."

Once again he wasn't sure how to respond. He was getting tired of his inadequate understanding of social cues.

While he was never a social butterfly, he wasn't usually inept!

"I think I have an idea," she said, thoughtful all of a sudden. "Jessica, one of my friends, is organising a group outing tomorrow. Manual breakthroughs need some time before you can cultivate if I remember correctly. You should come with us. Doing something other than cultivation would be good for you. It'll also stop you from being tempted to cultivate anyway."

He considered her words. She was right, he had to admit. He was already wondering what he'd spend his time doing before the next job came. Forming more connections with important people would be helpful. Though if he was being honest, spending time outside with potential friends sounded better than fighting for the next two days.

"Thank you for the offer. It'll be an honour to be a part of your gathering," he said truthfully. That fact that he was being exposed to obviously powerful people so early would likely be a boon in this world as much as it was in his last.

"Lisa approves of you," she said. "Of course we're going to invite you. Plus, you're a new Ascendant. Gaining your friendship is going to pay off in a few centuries. "

He wasn't sure if she was teasing or not but he supposed that, given what he'd heard about Ascendants, she wasn't wrong.

She dropped the call after that, after mumbling something about information packets that wouldn't absorb themselves.

Downstairs, he heard Lisa call his name, and a quick look showed him she was now alone.

As he headed downstairs, he thought about the outing he had agreed to. Already, he found himself looking forward to it.

It had been a while since he went to an occasion solely for fun. He would be lying if he didn't admit that a small part of him longed for that.

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