The Aether God: Chapter 24 - Confessions

Look in thy glass and tell the face thou viewest:

Now is the time that face should form another.

Caladrius School South District: Residence Hall 5, Dorm 31

“I’m… not… a twelve-year old. I mean, I am but I’m not. The simplest way to put it is that I’ve been reincarnated."

Once the words left Ceruleans mouth, he let out a sigh of relief. He felt that it ought to be obvious at this point, but it was quite relieving to let it out.

Latia, though, lifted her eyebrows. As she connected the dots, everything seemed to make much more sense. After her moment of realization, she smiled.

“Thank you for telling me!”

Latia leaned forward and hugged Cerulean. He was quite taken aback, but after a moment he relaxed and rested his hand on her upper back.

“It’s nothing… Hah…”

“So like… I want to hear everything.” As they separated, Latia began the conversation in earnest.

“Well…” Cerulean took a deep breath before he began speaking, “A week ago today, I was two different people. This version of me and another version that lived on a different plane… Both of us died at the same time… And now both of us reside in this body as one person.

Latia was not so surprised as she was confused. They had only known each other for a day now, but she drew very close to him in that short time. She trusted him with her life - literally.

“Umm… Do you know why it happened?” While she asked, she had to suppress an embarrassed smile.

“Hahahah… No I don’t. I mean, it was both of my birthdays when it happened, so maybe that means something.”

“Happy… Late birthday.” They both laughed. “Can I ask what your other life was like?”

Hearing her question, Cerulean became embarrassed. He rubbed his eyes while suppressing a laugh. “You probably won’t believe this… But I died when I was two hundred thirty-four thousand, nine hundred and forty-one years old…”

Latia opened her mouth in amazement. As it was open she also began to laugh.

“I know, I know.” Cerulean was now rubbing his eyes with his thumb and pointer-finger.

“Were you like, shriveled up in a Welkinean Chair?” Latia continued laughing.

“No no no…" He laughed, "Where I lived, immortality was very common... With some nuance... There are a number of powerful arts that can stop or reverse aging. I looked to be a little over the age of twenty for most of the time as well.”

“Huh... Wow... So, Is everybody as smart as you there?” She blushed.

“Well… I mean…” Cerulean scratched the side of his head. He sort of couldn’t help but brag a little bit. “No? It might not make much sense, but I was actually etherless. I spent most of my time in my study, or teaching as I was something of a tenured professor and scholar. They’re not as standardized here, but I was what they called a foremost authority regarding the three trades… Don’t get me wrong though, there were definitely others close to my level, and there’s still plenty that I don’t know.”

Latia had a teasing expression on her face. After a moment though, Latia began shifting timidly.

“So umm… This might be a weird question… But did you have a name there?”

“It was Daedalus…” Cerulean blushed again.

“Oooooh Daedalus!”

The two of them laughed for a moment before she continued.

“Wow… So like, what happened to you or… the old Cerulean?”

“From what I know, the event wasn’t as much of a reincarnation as a soul convergence of sorts. From what I can tell, the Cerulean and Daedalus sides of myself have become one being, both in mind and soul. But as you’re well aware, I have so many more memories to go off of regarding my life as Daedalus. My life here has really just been a drop in the water in regards to all that I am now. Whenever something happens, I’m only drawing upon thoughts informed by my other life.”

Cerulean pondered for a moment before laughing.

“The more I think about it though, the more I feel that our hearts did merge into one… I do, also, still genuinely feel like myself, er, Cerulean. I never would have bothered with the things I’m doing now as Daedalus… It’s weird, but since I came to understand people well in my other life, I now feel like a silly, outgoing child with the great sensibility of a somewhat reclusive scholar. I laugh more, talk more, and worry less than I did as Daedalus. Because of that though, if I display those more spontaneous parts and it backfires, I can’t help but wince in regret and shame. You could probably say I act a bit more foolishly than I did as Daedalus.”

“I… Think I sort of get the picture…” Latia had a million questions… But now there was something she was conflicted about. She started shifting in a nervous manner again.

Cerulean understood what was going on. There was an elephant in the room.

“Latia…… Do you have feelings towards me?”

Hearing this, Latia became timid and blushed. She knew that there was little that she could do to hide them at this point, having shown some obvious degree of physical affection. She began to panic for a moment, but upon seeing Cerulean’s calm expression, relaxed.

“I don’t know… But… Should I not or…?” Her words were a resignation of sorts.

“Well… I need you to know something about me. I spent thousands of years training very bright children regarding the arts and trades…There are a lot of ways in which I understand the minds of children on a physiological level - I actually had to research things like these. Having understood children - as an adult, from something of a psychological perspective - makes me feel that you ought to put any romantic feelings you might have for me on the backburner. Youth is a most wonderful and beautiful thing. I watched many of my students grow into truly wonderful men and women. But the heavens frown upon adults that share intimate sorts of feelings towards children, and for many good reasons. I’ve witnessed the effects of such situations. Even though it was a somewhat normal practice in certain realms... Most of them did immeasurable harm. Some turned out better than others, and there’s much more to it that would take a lot of explaining, but…”

Cerulean looked upward before continuing.

“…Well… I feel ashamed to even say this, but I am still Cerulean, and do feel some form of innate attraction towards you… But because half of me is legitimately an old man, I can’t think to embrace those feelings towards you and be proud of them. One half of me would like to, but… Everything that is done in doubt, rather than certitude, is not love. It would leave me conflicted. Why would I embrace a situation that would leave me with so much guilt? Love and romance are also beautiful things in every way, but they demand that you act with certitude! To do anything in doubt would not only be a disservice to myself, but my partner as well. Even though I could get away with things in this body, my heart couldn’t bear living such a shallow life. How could I do something like that and call it pure love? Why would I walk in that kind of internal shame instead of light? That would be not only misguided, but it would border on malevolence.”

Cerulean looked downward, letting out a sigh of relief. Latia understood him and took his words to heart. She resigned her feelings to the truth that Cerulean laid before her. However, after thinking for a few moments, she lifted her eyes towards Cerulean and spoke quite timidly.

“Is there… A certain age or something…” Latia of course knew that asking such sounded very silly. She had known Cerulean for only such a short time, and that he would probably not even be resigning himself to live on this plane forevermore. But… There was that part of her… It wanted at least some form of closure.

Cerulean, upon hearing the question, laughed and shook his head, as if it was a cute thing to ask. He knew though, that she was really asking from her heart. Giving her a shallow answer due to her age would not only leave her insecure, but would allow their relationship to remain insincere and complicated.

“That’s a good question… The answer is both yes and no. The heavens seem to be quite clear on this matter. The mind and body of artists fully develop around the age of twenty. At this point, there is little to worry about regarding whether they can make decisions in their best interest. I tend to defer my opinions to natural law in such cases. However… I cannot in good conscience ask that you anticipate a partnership with me, or anything of the like. To grow up with that kind of expectation is just as insincere, and equally misguided. I would feel nothing but shame in asking you to do so. Let your youth shine brightly, as is intended by the heavens. Please let us set these matters outside our hearts for the time being. If something happens at a later age, then it ought to be without any shame, even if it were hidden away in our hearts…”

Cerulean and Latia sat wordlessly for a number of minutes. As Cerulean closed his eyes, sitting in thought, he once again felt the weight of Latia’s head, this time against his shoulder.

“Cerulean… I’ll listen to what you said. And seriously, thank you for being so honest… You have a way of putting everything at ease. There’s still a part of me though that feels like you’ll be my best friend until more happens… I mean I’m if! Wait, I didn’t…!”

Latia sat back upright, looking away from Cerulean. Her features were akin to a tomato. She had put aside her hopes of any romantic nature for the time being, but still felt deep down that Cerulean would be around in some way.

As her head ashamedly turned back towards Cerulean, she saw him sitting patiently with a most gentle smile. They shared a lighthearted laugh before bringing the conversation to a close and saying their goodnights.

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