Normally in these kinds of circumstances there would be two typical reactions for an isekai protagonist. One, they would become overwhelmed with their nerdy nature and their excitement would be off the charts because they have seen this kind of event before. And then there is the second reaction, the overly long why me complaint that authors will drag on for eternity. I guess there could be other reactions as well depending on the circumstances, but I was not capable of most of those at the moment. No, my thought process was muddled by my lack of foresight into this possibility and the additional factors creeping their ugly heads.

The gender identity element was one that I had been expecting and preparing for given the signs but now that the problem stared at me directly in the face, I honestly didn’t have the wherewithal to exert brainpower on the subject. There was too much going on to consider for the moment to make anything of the situation until I figure out just where in the damn universe am I.

Setting aside the weird nature of everything else that has happened in the last several days, the interaction with Seele in particular was offsetting. That’s when the memories started flooding in and they weren’t exactly good ones. Not only that but they weren’t from my perspective. I should have known that certain interactions could set off the visions again but how was I supposed to know that it applied to anyone outside of Seele. Theoretically, anyone that could be connected with Seele in specific way was viable to cause another reaction. Putting together the appearances of Bronya and Cocolia was apparently enough to take me over the ledge.

Unlike my experience with Honkai Star Rail I was almost completely blind to the story of Honkai Impact minus a few key characters. The lore was deep, and it was hard to keep track of it all. I knew that Seele and Bronya had a very tight knit relationship because that carried over to its successor, but I had no idea how Cocolia might be involved. People have always said that Fate lore is confusing but the longer that Hoyoverse is around the more opportunities there will be for them to confuse everyone.

This, not being the time or place for such thoughts, I placed my focus back on the witch in front of me. Black Swan and the followers of the Remembrance from what I knew were just like any other religious faction that did not care about others beyond what served the purpose of their creed. It seemed to be a heavy theme in Star Rail for aeon fanatics to go too far and because of that I trusted Black Swan as much as Topaz trusted her goons to do their job right.

Given the nature of Black Swan and the Remembrance the best guess for where this might be was probably my own mind. This possibility was not favorable, but it was the most likely outcome. Unsure of myself, I needed to take an offensive approach to this encounter, and it started with acknowledging this place.

“I… I don’t appreciate your presence here memo keeper. My mind… is not open to your games.” I simply stated as assuredly as I could struggling to get over the sudden change in pitch of my voice. My mind was simply playing tricks on me. That’s all, nothing else to see here.

“And yet, the secrets that it holds are ones that you yourself are dying to discover. Tell me child, you wield knowledge of the Remembrance and the work of the Garden of Recollection and yet you know nothing of this forest or how you got here; how do you suppose you will escape this place unscathed?” She inquired smirking at the helplessness that inspired fear in my heart.

There was a strange intoxicating breeze that smelled of dead flowers shifting through the wind. A midnight air frosty yet not cold, permeated through the atmosphere. A starless night sky played host to a singular celestial object, a full moon as bright as any I could remember, shining like amethyst in the heavens. Any confidence I may have had shattered at the screech of unknown origin reaching my ears. My knees trembled, my fears overwhelming disheartening words replaying in my mind.

“You’re not the little girl unwilling to take risk? You’re not the little girl who shuns the world to stay inside her own little bubble? You’re not the little girl who relies on others to solve all of your problems? No, Seele, you’re exactly who I think you are.”

Damn it! I won’t let this f***ed up story continue to ruin my life! I am not a toy that some unknown being in the universe can play games with!

“That may be the case, but I know for a fact that your kind cannot be trusted. You will tell me what you know, and you will leave! My memories are not for your entertainment!” This was not up for debate. Memories were what made up the soul, and the soul is what made up the person. The very possibility that I may have had my memories tampered with was stressful enough as it is but to have someone invade such a private place was unacceptable.

“On the contrary, I believe it is you who will tell us the full depths of this place. Don’t get me wrong you have every right to question my intentions as is warranted for the Garden of Recollection, but I am not here to savor such delicate memories, I am here to serve as a mediator.” She explained assuring me.

“Mediator?” I questioned. What was she mediating?

Wind picking up, the sound of a crow cawing, malevolent aura arising, my skin crawled as the very scene itself answered my question. Butterflies from all over the forest gathered between me and the memo keeper sucking the light out of the rest of the forest and illuminating a focal point between me and Black Swan. Even the bright moon in the sky faded at the evolving congregation of insects. The culmination of these wondrous creatures ultimately reached a climax revealing a lone figure within their embrace.

“Memo keeper, your presence here is in violation of the Veritas Memoria contract. Ianthe, this place is not safe for you, you must return to reality at once!” As she was pointing at me, I didn’t even consider the latest new name as I addressed her appearance. Are you kidding me, a second witch?!

And a witch was an ample description for the young girl that spoke with a cruel tone, judgment lacing her words. The girl who seemed to be the same height as myself which didn’t give me a lot of confidence considering Black Swan’s stature, was adorned with a black dress and a literal witch hat which looked like the very butterflies themselves. Her eyes were a piercing violet, and her hair was a short black with a common theme of interlaid bluish purple. Why is it that little girls are the creepiest things on the planet sometimes?

“Ah, gatekeeper, it has been a time, hasn’t it?” Black Swan responded lackadaisically. Is this something she does on the regular? I mean peering into memories is obviously a slippery slope as I am sure Black Swan will surmise after an encounter with a Galaxy Ranger but how can any of this be considered a normal part of a job description?

“The pleasantries are unwelcome. Your role in our affairs has been concluded, the tomb will not take kindly to any interference.” The witch girl stated gesturing deeper into the woods.

“What do you mean tomb? Is this not my mind?” I interrupted not allowing them to have a one-on-one conversation.

“Ianthe, a purple flower, a delicate breed intertwined with death. A tomb is only right for one who is dead, a resting place for the memory of a soul who has departed. This forest is a tomb, a death bed for memories departed from the soul.” Black Swan explained. The witch girl, gatekeeper, whatever she called herself stared dangerously into Black Swan’s eyes as they seemed to have some kind of standoff.

“I need not reiterate the contents of the contract to one as inspired by memories as you, memo keeper. Final warning, leave now and nobody get’s hurt!” The girl threatened with a familiar corny line once again frustrating me as I continued to not receive answers.

“Nyx, you have a job and I have mine. The memories that you protect are already at risk of exposure. This one found this place on her own.” Gesturing to me, Black Swan began to take the conversation more seriously. I didn’t appreciate being kept out of the loop, but it seemed like even Black Swan knew more than this ‘Nyx’ person.

Nyx who looked like she was about to go on a rampage subdued herself and took in what Black Swan informed. Taking a glance at me, her glowing eyes regarded me with intense scrutiny. Who was this girl?

“Indeed, it seems you wield no falsehoods, memo keeper. Ianthe is plagued with uncertainty and flooded with forbidden knowledge. How did this come to pass?” The question sent waves of energy throughout the forest as the very breath of the wind and trees trembled at her words.

“I cannot be certain without delving into her memories, but I have little doubt that He is at play. It is possible that a fracture that we did not see, made it through.” Almost disheartened, Black Swan rationalized.

“Okay, that’s it! Someone will tell me what the hell is going on! And don’t even think about speaking in riddles!” Exploding was inevitable at this point. I did not take well to people talking about me behind my back and the fact that they were doing it right in front of me just pissed me off. Who did they think they are?

“I am Nyx, the gatekeeper of your imprisoned memories.” Answering my thoughts Nyx thought it was prudent to answer me literally.

“No reading my mind either!” I shouted angrily. “You will tell me, about the memories, you will tell me what this place is, and you will tell me why the f*** I look like a fictional female character, now!” Growing increasingly irritated at their antics nothing could set me off further than suddenly shouting with an unfamiliar voice.

“Fiction you say, what an odd descriptor. Are you perhaps familiar with your current form?” Black Swan probed. Hm, I guess that she wouldn’t know about her and the Honkai universe being fictional where I come from.

“Um, yeah. I mean I haven’t even got a chance to see what I look like, but I have been called Seele multiple times the last couple of days and these memories that keep haunting me… I can’t explain them.” And it was the truth, nothing that I had been told from the Stellaron Hunters or from Veliona explained any of this.

“Seele? Who told you of these things?” On edge, Nyx looked prepared to wage war on whatever name I spoke of. Thinking really hard about what my answer could entail I made sure to explain as best as possible.

“This all started with a voice in my head the other day which called me out for my weaknesses, I guess. That was strange enough as it is but then the voice said something along the lines of, he found had found me. Shortly thereafter, the Stellaron Hunters including Elio himself appeared in my apartment and proceeded to send me to my death in the depths of Jarilo XI’s Underworld. It was a miracle that I survived.” I complained remembering the pain of the fragmentum. That was definitely not something I wanted to experience again.

“This voice, has it spoken with you recently?!” Nyx demanded making me nervous.

“Uh, no not really. I haven’t heard her in a minute actually.” Thinking quickly, it was a tad bit strange that she disappeared after being so prominent in the beginning.

Eyes going wide, Nyx immediately dashed deeper into the dark forest not leaving time to speak further. That was not concerning at all.

“We should follow her, child. This distressing development may become detrimental towards your psyche. I recommend bracing yourself.”  Giving me a vote of confidence was not exactly her forte was it? Can I not have an existential life crisis please!

Following the light about as quickly as I could tumbling upon vines and broken branches as I went, I couldn’t help but be annoyed by Black Swan’s ability to float her way there. That being said, as the light Nyx gave off began to fade as she made distance between us, I was thankful that Black Swan was capable of covering for that absence.

As any other dark fantasy forest, this forest loved to play tricks on us as even though I knew we were always moving forward, we ran into the same trees, same grass, same flowers. This forest was a maze of the mind in more ways than one it seemed.

“Do not falter, we are still on the correct path.” As if on cue, the words meant to be assuring were cut off by the growls of foul beasts. Shadows formed by the forest itself began to move at the presence of our contrasting radiance.

“That sounds great, but uh, what are those!” I wasn’t exactly panicked just yet because I knew what Black Swan was capable of in combat, but I wasn’t about to risk becoming ghost food.

“Phantoms of an unsavory sort, stand back, I shall handle them.” And handle them she did. From the shade the nightmare fuel descended upon us with greedy mouths, large teeth, and soulless eyes but they were no match for the powers of the Remembrance. Grabbed, crushed, and stabbed, an invisible choir chanting in the background; each and every creature was exorcised with absolute efficiency without the need for damage over time effects. The howls that the creatures emitted were haunting, but I could get used to sitting back and watching this cinema unfold.

Amazed at the stellar display of fighting prowess, I admittedly momentarily forgot my distrust for the woman in violet. My heart was still rushing incessantly at the thrill of the situation, but I needed to regain focus as we began our track through the brush once more.

“So, care to enlighten me about where we are heading?” Chancing a look at my current party member, I wanted to see if I could glean anything from her vault of secrets.

“It is not my place to answer the majority of your questions, however, there is a few things I am capable of divulging. That voice in your head, is indeed a fragment of your soul but it is much more complicated than that.” Beginning her elucidation, I steeled my mind for whatever kind of bs, BS was going to come up with.

“Okay, I get that, I have already had that explained to me by Veliona.” I informed trying to move on.

“Indeed, strange as it is that you conversed with her so, it is not surprising that she would explain it as such without context. Yes, she is a part of your soul, but she is not a part of you. That is to say, she was no longer you, and you were no longer her, the moment you were fractured.” Expounding upon the idea in my head, I was getting somewhere with my hypothesis, the pieces coming together.

“What exactly happened? Can you explain why my memories as a guy on earth are not lining up with my memories that I have received since hearing her voice? Am I simply reliving her memories or are these my memories from before being um… fractured?” I had a feeling this was not the case, but it was something I needed clarified, nonetheless.

“I am sorry, but I cannot answer these questions for you. There is a cost to the answers to these questions and it would only harm you. That, Veliona, as you called her, speaking with you is a sign that the tomb has been emptied, the prison has been shattered and a fight between your two halves has become inevitable.” Making our way through the forest, the light of Nyx began returning as Black Swan finished her revelation.

“A fight between our two halves…?” So, she was hostile? It wasn’t just my imagination. It wasn’t exactly comfortable words to hear but it was valuable in that I could now have an idea what I was up against. “You said prison?”

It was the first break in the tree line that I had seen in the entire time of being in this hellscape, but it was replaced by something much worse. Before us was the very definition of an ancient tomb rivaling the size of the great pyramids made up of purse obsidian. The moon which had loss its color when Nyx appeared had reignited reflecting off the stone tomb creating an ominous aura.

The dark forest, the shadow demons, Black Swan, Nyx, the whole situation with my identity, all of it shallowed in comparison to the pit in my stomach which escalated at the display before me. The massive structure which could only be the prison that Black Swan spoke of, had been punctured. A massive hole broken open from within led to a dark empty void of which no body could be found.

Damn, the force behind that blow… was I up against Godzilla or something?! Okay, whichever aeon or mysterious benefactor who is hanging out there in the universe, would it be too much to ask for some protagonist powers or at least some plot armor? I think I am going to need it.