The girls run through the woods for over an hour making distance in their escape.

“Anko, I can barely keep going. Shouldn’t we wait for Yami?”

“.... no, don’t stop, keep running, he’ll catch up…”

The girls run for another hour before they reach a small town and get stopped by its Chunni defenders.

“You have to help Yami is-”

“No… they can’t Sakura… They would only meet their death.”

“Send word back to Konoha, we’ll need a squad of Jonin at least”

On edge from the long dash to safety Sakura and Hinata can’t hold back the tears from their eyes and start crying.

“WHY ANKO, WHY DID WE LEAVE HIM BEHIND?”

“IT WAS THE ONLY WAY… any of us could have lived… and he knew that”

Anko too can’t hold back her tears.

“I would not have hesitated to stay behind for any of you, but even I was helpless… against either of the enemies.”

They stay hours on the outskirts of the town, praying to see Yami’s face as he makes it back to safety but that moment never comes.

---

This is not how I wanted to meet my end. 

I'm not surrounded by a harem of beautiful girls. I'm not even in battle with a worthy adversary, just this moronic, rude and disrespectful zombie that some would consider the weakest Akatsuki has to offer.

Soon enough either my chakra will run out or Kakuzu will catch up to us.

Until then I see what I can do…

I can move away from Hidan a few seconds at a time without compromising my hold on his nerves. I know that even if I set up a nerve genjutsu in just a few more minutes he’d break free, chase me and I’d die miserably without being able to put another hold on him. And it would just mean less time for the girls to escape…

I feel spite for this motherfucker.

I tried to stab him or cut his neck, of course, I'm not an idiot, but his black skin is too damn hard. Even his eyes are hard… I can’t dent his body in any way with my meager ninja tools.

I clean up all the blood I can find. I don’t wanna risk him being able to use his voodoo on Sakura or Anko who have bled on the ground.

I clean both our stains on the ground and Hidan’s ritualistic blood circle because fuck Hidan.

I find Hidan’s missing finger… I turn over the thought of shoving it up his ass and instead, I make sure he won’t see it ever again.

I swallow that disgusting thing. I hope he can’t regenerate it back. I wanna at least think we managed to do some permanent damage to him.

With nothing else to do, I spend the time studying Hidan’s body. Who could say they don’t want to be immortal… this is about the only way I can see myself “living” through this.

Hidan’s immortality makes no sense and isn’t quite explained in the story. From what I know he is afforded extra regeneration and can stay alive even with his head cut off. The only way he can die is through malnutrition.

As for how he got his immortality? It was by sacrificing a lot of innocent people to his god Jashin. Is Jashin real? Is there anything more to the ritual? 

I’d rather not believe in any god if possible. Even the Rabbit goddess is in reality just a sexy alien that wanted to not destroy the world before going a bit insane.

However, Hidan's immortality is the real deal and whatever it's based on, it’s not simply hormones and nerves.

I lose track of time trying to understand his body. Over half my chakra is gone and something like 20 minutes must have passed before my Grim Reaper arrives.

“Boy, what is happening here?”

“Yami, nice to meet you Kakuzu, you are quite a legend.” 

“Ohh you’ve heard of me… That’s a surprise.”

“Ohh I’m full of surprises, you wouldn’t happen to be kind enough to let me walk away.”

“... no.”

“Well, can’t blame a guy for trying.”

Kakuzu takes his time circling us, curious about the situation me and Hidan are in.

“What are you doing to Hidan?”

“Holding him in dreamland for a while. I wouldn’t interrupt us if I were you, he might end up with even more brain damage.”

“I see… that would be unfortunate.”

Kakuzu turns to face the direction the girls run away in and the fake smile falls from my face.

“Not bad, not bad… I have no real reason to go after you guys. Iwagakure wanted the merchant's head but seems someone got to him before either of us”

I sigh…

“And if you’re telling me that I’m guessing you’re not letting me leave alive.”

“No… but I commend your sacrifice for your comrades and will let them leave.”

I remember Kakuzu's backstory. Ordered by his village on an impossible mission to kill the first Hokage, Hashirama. Punished and imprisoned after barely surviving the attempt by his village he turned rogue.

From there he turned into a bit of a morally grey bastard accepting any kind of bounty and betraying a lot of equally morally bankrupt ninjas. 

“I like you Kakuzu, I wish we’d met in different circumstances. I think the world did you dirty. 

"If you don't mind me asking, why did you join Akatsuki?”

“Release Hidan now before I change my mind.”

Sad I never got my answer I release my hold and take a few steps back. Hidan stands staring blankly before regaining control a few seconds later.

I stay quiet as they converse.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!”

“Speak lower Hidan… it’s annoying.”

“MAN, I was stuck inside my head for hours.”

“I see, truly a nightmare…” 

“Fuck of Kakuzu, where are the girls.”

“They’re long gone while you were stuck. Only the boy stayed behind”

“Ahhh man… I went through all that pain and now I don’t even get to have fun torturing any of the girls…”

“We don’t have time for your games, just make it quick, we have to return.”

Hidan still draws his circle with a triangle within once more, his ritual primed on me, he stretches his ceremonial spear.

“Just kill me and get it over with, I can’t be tortured”

“Ehhh, feeling brave? You're not the first to say those words.”

I turn off my pain nerve receptors.

Hidan stabs me in the leg and I don’t even flinch at the event as blood starts flowing into my pants.

He looks speechless at my face. I smile, satisfied at my final fuck you.

“Same way I could keep you from feeling anything, I can just do it on myself.”

“Seriously not fun dude…”

“Hidan, just finish it”

“Hai hai… OHH GREAT LORD JASHIN, TAKE THIS UNBELIEVER INTO YOUR COLD ARMS”

Hidan opens his arms in ceremony and stabs himself in his heart.

I fall onto the ground in my final moments…

Hidan face returns to boredom. Kakuzu stares at Yami’s body dying on the ground for a few seconds.

“We’ve wasted enough time, let’s go back”