-Akane, wake up.....

 

I pretended to still be asleep shamelessly, when in reality i woke up the second she entered the room.

About 25 seconds passed, and Minami sighed about three times before she finally stood up.

 

-Im leavi...

And i clenched her hand to stop her from doing so.

-Don't. 

-Then move.

-I don't want to.

-Im leaving.

-I get it okay, im sorry.

 

I panicked and just stood up and followed the slightly upset Minami out of the library.

Some months have passed since we've had meetings like these in the library often.

Maybe not "in" the library most of the times,but this was the place where we'd often see each other and then just go and do whatever we felt like doing. 

After all, Minami has been keeping her promise to me these months, and worse of all it started with a similar interaction to the one today.

I often feel incredibly sleepy at the library, and often sleep there. This is no secret, not to Minami, to my teachers, or even my  classmates.

Most of the time i just wake up to someone entering the library, or to the ring of the bell for my next class.

There was one day i didn't though, and i ended up staying in there sleeping until around 7pm, to the point where it was already dark out.

 

 

 

 

 

-Katagiri-san, hey... wake up!

I felt something sharp pinch my cheek as i woke up suddenly.

As i realized, it was dark outside already.

 

-Niekawa-san?... Wait, its this late already?!?!

-Yes, so calm down, please. I came to see you a few hours ago before our last class period and you were sleeping, so i didn't wake you up.

-Im going to get scolded... 

I started worrying a bit too much about getting scolded for missing a single class by my parents.

 

-What are you doing here in the first place, Niekawa-san?

-I came to get you so i could walk home with you, but you were still sleeping.

-Im sorry for my rudeness. 

Ahh, i want to die of embarassment now. 

She started giggling at my answer before it turned into a full on three minute laugh.

 

-Don't worry, i don't mind. I was more worried about you being in here, so i stayed until you woke up.

As a smile formed on my face, i thought that was kind of her.

 

-Thank you, Niekawa-san.

-Don't worry. Can we walk home together, then?

I nodded in excitement as i picked up my stuff and we both left the dark school.

 

-Going on walks while its dark is pretty fun, isn't it?

-I think so... It does get a bit scary cause its dark, but i feel like seeing everything lit up makes you appreciate the same places you might think were dull or boring in a different way. 

Niekawa-san suddenly stopped in front of me and stared at me closely.

-Hmm... I was worried you were going to give me a awkward answer, but you are a pretty normal girl after all, aren't you?

Ehh? What is this for?

-I think so?... Im just a tad bit more anxious than most people, i think that's about it.

She flashed me a smile and turned around and kept walking.

-Is it particularly at school, or are you like this since little?

-No, it's only at school. My mind begins to get pretty clouded, and i just tend to run away from what im scared of.

I said, my voice slightly more confident than it usually sounds. 

-I think its a bit strange, for a girl so self-conscious as you to struggle with that.

Maybe she's right, cause i've thought about the same thing multiple times. 

-Even if i am that way, i can't bring myself to change instantly... It's one step at a time, at least.

-So, am i the first step you take towards change?

I was a bit stunned at her sudden bluntness, so i sat in silence for a bit before answering.

-It feels less like a step and more like i just got picked up out of nowhere, but i guess so...

She gave me a bit of space to give her a more direct answer, i could tell by her taking small looks at me from the corner of her eye.

-I still tend to feel a bit anxious about the things Niekawa-san tells me some times, but its less of being scared and more of being embarassed. It's like im a lot more conscious about how you might look at me, or think at me... and its kinda complicated. 

-Is that so...

Niekawa-san's voice felt a bit more like a whisper, but i hadn't finished speaking so i kept going.

-But in the end, i feel pretty comfortable around Niekawa-san, and i feel like i want to get to know you better, so im doing my best to work towards that.

For the next 15 seconds or so, there was not a single word exchanged between us two. I thought, "Maybe it was a bit embarassing after all", but i brushed it quickly and just kept walking, since i felt like i could express myself properly. 

Niekawa-san was the first one to break this silence, as she stopped walking.

-We're here. 

I could guess this was her home, so i figured this is where we would part ways. 

-Thank you for waiting for me.

I felt like i might have troubled her a little bit by making her wait that much, so i figured i'd go ahead and thank her for it again.

She didn't answer, and instead just fidgeted a little bit.

-No, thank you for walking me, Akane.

-Uaaagh!

She  stepped in front of me and hugged me tightly.

-Im glad you can feel less anxious around me, so i hope we can walk like this and go to other places together.

She stepped back, and i could see a slight blush in her smiling face. "She's beautiful...", i thought to myself.

-Im looking forward to it too, Nieka...

She put her index finger on my lips as to correct me.

-Minami. 

I decided that since we're here, i might aswell be more upfront with her.

-Then, i'll be waiting for you at the library, Minami.

She giggled shortly and waved me goodbye, as she walked into her home.

I feel like that was the exact moment where our relationship moved forward as something more than just friendship.

As time passed on, we would just get closer, and closer, which didn't help the already smitten me. Not only that, but i started spending most of my time waiting for her in the library. 

 

 

 

This day, she didn't even knock, or come into the library.

The door opened, and she peeked her head into the library. 

-Akane, come with me, quick!

I didn't really understand her, but i picked up my school bag and the library's key as i stepped out.

As i turned around to lock the library's door, i heard Minami's voice behind me talking to someone that wasn't really me.

-So, this is the girl i was talking to you both about.

-Eeeh?!!?

I made a really quiet high pitched noise as i struggled to lock the door with my back turned to them. I took a deep breath and turned around to see two other girls with Minami, which were both eyeing me from head to toe with curiosity, or some other feeling which i can't really catch. 

-Akane, let me introduce you to these two. The girl with the wolf-cut is Akari, and the midget next to me is Emi.

-Nice to meet you both, im Akane Katagiri.

They both waved at me as i was slightly hiding behind Minami's back and i stepped forward, introducing myself to both of them.

Akari was even taller than Minami by a few centimeters, and Emi was shorter... than me?!?

This is actually impressive, i didn't think there would be people shorter than me in here.. 

Emi's hair was the longest out of us, it was straight with a  light brown color.  Her eyes were a similar shade of amber, like mine. Akari on the other hand, had dark brown hair and her eyes were blue. Her gaze in particular, felt more like a glare and felt piercing before she made eye contact with me. She also had a shorter hair cut, and her appearance was more "handsome" than "pretty", if i had to find a way to describe it. Although, im not really good at describing it in the first place.

Minami looked at me and locked both of her arms with mine.

-Akane, i came to pick you up cause we're going to take a walk and get some ice cream on the way home. So, do you...

I sighed.

-Why would you even bother asking when you literally came to ambush me... You are being unfair from the start.

-Oww... but you're coming, right?

-Of course i am. Even without your little stunt i would have said yes, you know...

Her face lit up as she released my arm and instead just jumped into me and hugged me a little bit too tight...

-Alright, i get it so can you let me breathe now? You're suffocating me...

-Ooh, im sorry, i got carried away. I forgot how thin you are..

-Wait, how do you even know that?!

-I can just tell... 

As our banter slowed down a little bit, i could see the other two staring at us out with concerned looks...

-Alright, so can you both stop flirting? Let's get out of here, to start off.

-Nie-chan, you're never like this in class with us!

-Im sorry, im sorry...

Akari gently told us both off, and we just walked outside the school with Emi pouting about Minami being so clingy with me..

-Even though i actually really like that...

Eh?!

-Did you say something, Akane?

Minami looked at me and i just shook my head in panic.

-I remembered something and i just thought out loudly, im sorry, haha.

-Hmm... You usually give out awkward answers like this when you are panicking...

As i thought, i don't think she actually heard me but she isn't buying it either...

-Well, whatever. Let's go.

Oh. I don't think she actually cared that much, which is oddly strange.

After that everything just went normally. Small talk, taking slight jabs at Minami cause she's a bit of a mess , Emi being somewhat jealous of my relationship with Minami, and Akari just being the calm one of the group, just commenting on unrelated topics like how have we been at school, how did our exams go, and etc.

We all sat down at a nearby park to eat ice cream and chat with each other. We didn't need nothing else as a excuse to chat, and since i got invited i was having a good time aswell.

-Katagiri-chan, how did you and Minami even meet? 

Already using the -chan, huh...

-I often help as a assistant in the library you all picked me up at. Mostly no one goes there anymore since its not supposed to be open, so i clean the place out and air it so it doesn't get dusty. They are planning on opening it sometime so im the one in charge of that, and while it isn't really my job, i help out with putting the books in order in the shelves, and things like that.

Both Akari and Emi looked at me with surprise.

-You are really busy in there then, aren't you?

Emi looked particularly surprised about me doing all of this.

-Not really. I spend most of my time there anyways, so it's just a bunch of small things i do before either dozing off or reading myself.

Akari seemed confused by my answer.

-Do you have problems in your own class? Cause i didn't paint you to be the bookworm type.

Ahh, so that's why she was confused.

-Maybe...

And Minami placed her finger in front of my lips again, stopping me from saying anything else.

-She's anxious about talking to her classmates. That's it.

What do you mean, "that's it." 

-That's not all of it though, what do you...

-It is though.

-It's not. 

I was getting slightly frustrated at Minami with her interruptions.. 

-Well, whatever the case is between what you both think, Akane-chan genuinely doesnt look to me like the type of person who would end up in a library as a loner. If anything, i thought you were pretty popular, since you are that close with Minami.

Emi's image of me seems pretty unrealistic to what i think myself to be, though... I wish i actually had confidence in myself to be popular, or something. Actually, i think i'd hate it in the first place.

-Oh, about that. We met because i needed her help carrying chairs to the gym. That's literally it.

Minami said in a monotone and dismissive voice, as to not mention any details about it.

-Yeah, that's right. I was putting the books in order when she came up to ask for help. After that, we just talked on the way there, and Minami started coming to pester me in the library most of the time?

-Ick... 

Minami made a slightly disgusted sound. I wondered why, but then i realized the stare of both Akari and Emi growing colder as they stared at both of us.

-So that's why you started ditching us out of nowhere after school, Minami...

-Nie-chan, you're horrible.

She looked oddly defeated as they told her this, and i could feel her hand clingi.

-Ow! What was that for, Minami?!

She pinched my hand with a lot of strength and it hurt. 

-Why didn't you leave out that one part...

She was pouting at me as she told me this. 

-I didn't think you were shamelessly hiding it from other people, so i just talked about it normally...

-Is that so.

Ahh, here we go with the "im upset at you" act...

-Well, the shameful lady aside, im surprised you two have known each other that long ago and there hasn't been any rumor about you two. Its been five months already since the  thing at the gym, and Minami is pretty popular in our year, so i'd expect a little bit more attention towards you, Katagiri-chan.

I thought she was quite beautiful when i met her, and she was quite polite when i met her, so i can actually understand why she'd be popular, but i still had no clue.

-Considering i have little to no contact with anyone other than you three at school, i can't say im surprised about not knowing a damn thing about that.

-Well, yeah. Nie-chan has really taken a liking to you, Akane-chan. She talks about you pretty often in our class, and she's been waiting to introduce you to us for a while. 

-Really?

I looked at Minami, and i saw a slight blush in her face before she changed into her "dumb" character.

-Of course! I can't really let a cute girl like you go unnoticed, right? 

Sure, like i totally didn't notice your change of personality right there. You do it way too often for me to truly not notice. 

-Yeah, sure. I'd actually believe you, if you at least gave your own friends a word of what you are doing, you idiot.

Akari started laughing at my comment, and Emi started fidgeting at it.

After about 30 minutes of us just chatting about random topics and things, it was time for us to split up and go home.

-We take the train home, so we'll leave here. See you later, Katagiri-chan, and you dishonest woman.

-Dishonest?!?!?

Minami pretended to fall like she was made out of paper, and i catched her.

-Oii, don't die. See you tomorrow, Akari, Emi.

As they waved goodbye, Minami stood completely still as i held her.

-Aren't you going to move?

And she straightened up and fixed her gaze on me, as she held both of my hands to her waist.

-So, do you really like this clingy me?

She moved in closer to me as i held her, and i got incredibly nervous. I could see how long her eyelashes were from this distance, and i got incredibly embarassed not only about her question, but how close she was to me. 

Its like my body was heating up from having her this close, so i panicked and just nodded with my head.

-I see. You're oddly shy when things get physical, aren't you, Akane?

-Its your fault to begin with... If you heard me, why did you hide it for that long.

-Cause i wanted to talk to you about it when we were alone. 

My head started to get really hot, and i could feel my heartbeat going faster with every second.

I couldn't look at her straight in her eyes at all, but she didn't look away from me a single time and with each second it started driving me more crazy. She wouldn't let me let her go either, so i was trapped in here either way.

-You're really pretty, so i get more nervous when you're with me. It doesn't help when you act clingy with me, so can you let me go before i melt from embarassment?

She giggled at my words as she let go of my hands and i instantly took two, no, maybe three steps away from her.

-I didn't want to find out you can be rather sadistic with teasing, Minami...

-Well, i can be a lot of things. Aren't you happy there's so many Minamis for you to see, and like?

-Of course im not, you idiot. I thought i was going to faint.

But it does feel like there is many "Minamis" to the point where im slightly scared about asking her about it. 

I'll wait until she decides to be honest with me, even if it takes forever. 

-You liar. You wouldn't get nervous if you didn't like it.

I hated how pushy she got at times like this. It's like she knew everything i was thinking, so it just felt like i couldn't even clap back at her.

-Shut up. Can we go home already?

-Alright. Im sorry, i overdid it.

-You should have said that sooner...

After that, we walked home pretty much in silence, cause i felt absolutely defeated the second we were alone. 

-Akane, what did you think about those two?

-Eh?!

Minami stopped at the door of her house, and asked me one last question before we parted ways.

-Well, they seem like nice people... And, they are really easy to talk to. I had fun today.

-Okay. See you tomorrow, cutie.

-Huh?!? 

She winked at me before closing the door on me.

Can she be at least a bit more considerate about my feelings, at least sometimes?!

Wait, what feelings?

 

As some months passed, and the end of our year approached, i thought to myself i could hide those feelings like it was nothing, when in reality, i was about to find out that i was about to wake up from those days, which seemed like a dream to me.

 

I was walking to  school. The sky was filled with ugly gray clouds, but before worrying about that i noticed Minami walking in front of me, so i rushed over.

-Good morning!

I  hugged her from the back, unconscious that i had become just as, if not more clingy than her with the months passing.

She instantly shoved me back lightly, and answered in a really monotone and sligtly annoyed tone.

-Morning.

I instantly knew something was wrong with her. She might change how she acts a lot, but this was the one time where i truly felt like something was wrong with her.

I realized, i didn't really understand her this time at all, but i was so smitten by this girl that i couldn't bring myself to put my thoughts in order and just pushed forward.

-Its not like you to shove me back like that. Something happen?

She stopped dead in her tracks and just turned around and looked at me.

This time i couldn't deny something was wrong with her, cause there were bags under her eyes, and her usual charming, yet soft gaze felt more like a distant glare this time.

-Akane, why do you act like this?

Why are you even asking this in the first place? You do the same, you idiot...

-Is there a problem with it? You als..

-Of course, there is a problem!

Minami screamed in a strained and raspy voice.

-Minami?...

-Why would it not be a problem. We're both girls, yet you're acting so clingy. I don't understand it. 

She wasn't even looking at me by now. Her gaze was fixed on the ground, and i was as confused as i could be. What happened to the Minami i knew? This wasn't her... i thought. But in reality i couldn't really accept it.

Her hair, her lips, her eyes... Even if they were different, they were still the same ones that have made me feel this way, so its going to be fine right?

-Are you going to answer?. Im going to leave.

-Minami, i like you.

I told her, in the most firm tone of voice i could do.

-What do you even mean by that? You're joking, right? 

-No, im not.

-So you like me, as a friend?

I bit my lip so i could hide how scared i was as i was preparing myself to tell her my true feelings.

Yeah, it might be weird. But i don't care. Im in love with her, so what does it matter?

-Minami, im in love with you. Its not a joke. I really like you, in that way.

She fixated her gaze on me for a second. It hurt. It really felt like i was being pierced by something sharp.

And she started laughing.

-Do you expect me to believe that? You're weird. Why would you even be interested in me in the first place? We're both girls, and i just happened to pass time with you. Why would you fall in love because of that?

I clenched my fist as i heard this. I don't even know who im talking to right now, she just happens to look like the person im in love with.

-And how do you expect me not to be in love, with you, huh? Do you really expect me to think of all of these months we've spent together as just "passing time?"  Do you expect me to forget your promise, to go visit me, fuck, even drag me out of the library if its necessary?

-Yeah, why would you take that to heart? You're weird, really. 

I just sat in silence. Why would you act like this?

Were you really, just playing with me this entire time?

I couldn't bring myself to say anything, because it wasn't me just getting rejected.

It was all of my feelings being completely crushed at once. 

-Katagiri-san, im never going to like you back. So please, refrain from approaching me from now on. 

And just like that, the person i fell in love with turned her back to me.

All this time, our relationship was that only in my eyes. She didn't feel a thing. 

And this was the beggining of the days, where i'd be too scared to even dream about going back to how things were, and the sole mistake i made was trusting her with the feelings i thought i could bottle up until they dissapeared.