"You too?" asked Etna, walking up to the doorway to Professor Umbridge's office.

"Said Voldemort was alive to her face," said Harry. "I heard you had her running screaming."

"Twins'll probably ask me how."

"Maybe," said Harry, but then recalled what she did to them to stop them from pranking her. "But I doubt it."

"Let's just get this over with," said Etna.

"I think I'm going to kill her," said Etna. She was sitting with Harry and Hermione in Herbology two days later.

"Why would you kill Professor Sprout?" asked Hermione, horrified.

"Not, Sprout. She's nice. I'm talking about Umbridge. Just a knife between the shoulder blades. That's all I'm asking for."

"You're horrible," said Hermione.

"No, this is horrible," replied Etna, putting her hand on the table.

"What… what is that?"

"This is what happens when you have to write lines with a blood quill. Harry, show her yours."

"I told you, I'm not raising a fuss over this."

"Harry, that's illegal!" said Hermione. "Blood quills are only to be used for signing legal documents!"

"Is something the matter?" asked Professor Sprout from the fore of the green house, where she was speaking with Neville.

"Yes!" said Hermione and Etna, while Harry said "No!"

"I'm telling my Head of House," said Etna to Harry. "If it gets the bitch fired, then we don't have to deal with her."

"What is it?" asked Professor Sprout, walking up to their workbench.

"I was wondering about the school's policy on blood quills," said Etna, pulling her sleeve back over the wound as Harry glared at her.

"For the most part, they're banned. Last I recall, there are a few in Madame Pompfrey's office for signing off on certain medical procedures and in Dumbledore's office for writing some of the larger bank drafts. Why?"

"So Professor Umbridge shouldn't have brought any onto school grounds?" asked Etna.

"No. Why?"

"Nor should she make students write lines with them?"

"Miss Granger, partner with Mr. Longbottom, and make sure the rest of the class completes the assignment. I will be escorting Mr. Potter and Miss de Malebolge to Professor McGonagall, and then we will be speaking with Professor Dumbledore."

Harry once more found himself in the Headmaster's office. Professor McGonagall and Sprout were both standing in front of the Headmaster's desk, while he and Etna were seated off to the side. She had an odd smile on her face, and Harry guessed she was enjoying the trouble she was causing. Professors Sprout and McGonagall were both mad, Harry could see that much. Sprout was shaking with rage, but hadn't unleashed it on anything yet. McGonagall, if it was possible, was even more stern and severe than usual.

Harry had only met Susan's aunt once before, and that was at the same time as Dolores Umbridge. She was back from Umbridge's office, with eight feet of parchment in hand, standing at Dumbledore's shoulder.

When she had arrived, she inspected Harry's hand with her monocle, and then Etna's. She had glared at Etna, and after a hushed conversation with Dumbledore and an inspection of Etna's seal, she left Dumbledore's office for Professor Umbridge's with only a single comment.

"The greatest proof he's alive, and I have to cover it up. We'll have words about this, Albus."

Dumbledore had merely nodded.

Dolores walked in behind Snape and Flitwick, and Harry would later tell Hermione she knew she was in for it.

Dumbledore conjured a simple wooden chair in front of his desk, and pointed at it. Dolores sat down. Harry saw Snape smirk, and Flitwick smile. Etna leaned back in her chair, expecting a show.

Albus leaned forward, and unrolled the parchment. One said "I must not tell lies." The other said "I must do what the teacher tells me." Each was written in the rusty red of dried blood.

"Dolores, please explain to me why I should not let you rot in Azkaban for assault of a wizarding minor?"

"Assault? I think not. How I punish my students is up to my own determination."

"The law argues otherwise," said Dumbledore.

"Forced use of a blood quill is assault," added Director Bones.

"And I forced them to do it?"

"You just admitted it, Dolores," replied Director Bones, tapping her monocle.

"I haven't said anything."

"No, but you all but confirmed that you did force them to use a blood quill. In Harry's case, I imagine he didn't even know what it was. Miss de Malebolge, did you know what it was?"

"Yep," replied Etna.

"Well, then, if I'm to be arrested, I want my right to consul."

"It's very unfortunate, but you aren't going to be arrested, Dolores. Due to the politics of the situation, any attempt at arresting you right now will result in nothing more than a pardon from Cornelius. However, the statute of limitations on assault, especially on a minor, is a very long time, Dolores. And we both know with Voldemort's return, it's only a matter of time. If you ever set foot on the premises of Hogwarts again, you will leave it in chains."

"I'm afraid I can't leave until my replacement has been selected," said Dolores with a toady smile.

"Given my recent findings, I'm afraid that a replacement cannot be selected by the current administration," supplied Director Bones.

"Oh?"

"Professor Dumbledore's comments on the dementors made me check their presence at Azkahban. There, I made a disturbing discovery. For three days, two of their number were missing . We track their numbers at the prison, Madame Undersecretary, using very refined and specialized magic. While every once in a while one of their number will leave the premises for short periods of time, this never exceeds more than five hours. Those three days were August 1st to August 3rd. On July 29th, Percy Weasley made a visit to Azkaban to deliver a sealed letter from Minister Cornelius Fudge himself. The stated reason for this letter was to, quote, 'ascertain the position of the dementors on this supposed impossible and illogical return of You-Know-Who,' end quote. The dementor's written response was, quote, 'we have heard nothing,' end quote. According to Mr. Weasley, his letter was then crumpled up, and thrown into the sea. I asked Mr. Weasley from whom he originally received the letter, and he stated you, Madame Undersecretary, gave him that letter, on behalf of Minister Fudge.

"Today, I have learned you tortured Mr. Potter and his friend, Miss de Malebolge.

"In my business, Madame Undersecretary, that is to much of a coincidence to ignore."

There was silence in the room. Etna was leaning forward in her chair with rapt attention. Snape, Harry would later swear upon his parents grave (he then wondered where it was, so he could visit it), was smirking.

"Well," said Dolores. "Well," she repeated, trying to find some ground on which to stand.

"As such, I will be appointing a Senior Auror to teach this class. Someone with both the qualifications to teach it and the restraint to not torture one of her charges."

Dumbledore stood up from his desk, and walked to the fireplace. With a pinch of floo powder, the flames turned green.

"Ministry of Magic." He turned to Dolores. "Madame Bones, if you would escort her from the premises?"

"Certainly Professor Dumbledore."

"I look forward to your selection of a teacher for this school," said Dumbledore.

Once they had left, Etna was first to speak.

"Damn, I was hoping for some blood."

"I think she wants to tear out all of her hair," said Etna, about the new DADA teacher.

"Oh, come on, we aren't that bad," said Ron.

"No, you lot aren't. Everybody else is," replied Etna. "That, and she's used to people that know how to cast a basic protego."

"Aren't you supposed to have high marks in DADA?" asked Ron.

"Nope. I've got high marks in Understanding the Dark Arts," said Etna. "Entirely different. Less focus on creatures, more focus on spells. Dark creatures would be covered under a NEWT level Care of Magical Creatures elective, since its America, and most of the Dark Creatures are kept in Wyoming and Montana."

"Why do you even know that?" asked Hermione.

"Because I studied my syllabus and the course book for New Salem. Mostly because I want to blend in. The longer I blend in, the more likely I'll be able to kill Moldevort."

"Voldemort," supplied Harry as Ron flinched.

"Right. Moldevort," said Etna. "Come on, Harry, time to train you. You two coming?" asked Etna, walking up the stairs to the seventh floor.

"Why are we coming here?"

"Because Dobby said to," replied Etna, stopping at a landscape painting that contained a group of giants playing golf with human skulls. Etna glared at the wall opposite it for a moment, then paced back and forth a few times before an arching doorway revealed itself. "Hermione, remind me to give the little runt some work to do."

Hermione sputtered until she stepped into the room.

"The Come-and-Go room," said Etna. "It's what you need, when you need it. And right now, it's a dueling chamber."

The three humans stared at the "dueling chamber." The walls were black obsidian, a pair of candelabras casting strange shadows. Snakes and skulls adorned the columns placed at random through the room, and statues of things Hermione thought it best not to think about lined the room.

"This is…" started Ron, trailing off, unsure of what, exactly, this was.

"You two staying?"

Hermione and Ron both supplied affirmatives.

"Then I'm going to assess your skills individually. Ron, you first."

"What? Oh, um, Ex-URK," cried Ron as he was thrown into the obsidian wall. He felt the back of his head and then screamed as a spear of ice smashed into the walls, he scrambled away, casting a protego only to have a blade of green slash through it, this giving him barely enough time to duck as it gouged out a trench where his neck was.

"Come on! You can't suck that much!" yelled Etna. "Now get up! Give me a solid protego!"

Ron stood, his knees shaking, and screamed the spell, a semi-solid wall of light forming in front of him.

"Better," said Etna. A tongue of flame splashed across Ron's protego, and beads of sweat began to roll down his forehead. "Oh, come on! I'm going easy on you."

"Should we try and save him?" asked Harry.

"I think she knows what she's doing…" said Hermione. "Or, at least, I hope she does. I'm impressed, though."

"Why?"

"She hasn't vocalized a single spell. It's all silent magic, and it's all elemental conjuration."

Flame cut out, and another spear of ice sent Ron dodging behind a pillar, screaming.

"Good! You figured out how to dodge. Now pay close attention, Hermione, you're next!"

Hermione blanched as a blast of wind sent Ron flying across the room, skidding to a halt. He scrambled to his feet, screaming as a bolt of electiricty shattered the stone behind him.

"Faster! You need to run faster!" shouted Etna. Her wand twisted, a burst of flame was curved by a gust of wind, rounding around the pillar.

"I SURRENDER!" screamed Ron.

Etna smiled.

"NO MERCY!" screamed Etna back, and then cackled as she sprayed water across the floor, and then sent another bolt of electricity into it.

Ron and Hermione were propped near where the door should have been, watching as Harry take the beating Etna was dishing out.

"Do you think she's tired at all?" asked Ron.

Hermione shook her head. She was panting, and wondering where she'd find enough hair restorative to get back all of her hair after Etna "accidentally" got a little close with a flame conjuration. Not that having her head on fire slowed Etna down.

Harry cast another protego, but only used it to provide Etna with another target, letting her destroy it with a wind-based cutter. He threw a regular cutter and a stunner back at her. She took the cutter on her arm, a small red welt rising underneath her destroyed clothing, but dodged the stunner and returned with a projection of flame that Harry had to outrun. As he fled, he launched a stream of random jinxes and hexes in Etna's general direction that she just ignored. How? wondered Hermione. Was it because she's a demon? She noticed Etna's legs wobble a little from a jelly-legs jinx, but everything else she just outright ignored.

Ron shielded a random jinx that Harry hadn't aimed right as he slid behind a pillar to try and catch his breath.

"You're doing better than your friends, Harry, but now its time for things to get more complicated." With two quick wand movements, a blood wolf grew from the floor. "Kill it, or explain to Miss Pompfrey how you got injured! Your choice! Tonare! " shouted Etna, the blasting curse shattering the pillar as Harry dived away, casting a cutter to make the wolf howl as it scrambled across the obsidian floor. It skidded past Harry, trying to snap at his legs, but missed as Etna sent a bolt of lightening in Harry's general direction. She cackled again, ignoring the bludgeoner returned with, taking it in the gut with a mild cough. With a whip of her wand, she cracked a firewhip in Harry's general direction, and began moving opposite of the blood wolf.

Harry's cutter caught the wolf off guard, digging into its front shoulder, grazing part of its neck. Harry made a run for it, tossing a bludgeoner and a reducto behind himself, hoping to at least slow Etna and the wolf down.

"That tickled, Harry!" was Etna's return, snapping the firewhip through another of obsidian pillars, already half destroyed by several of Etna's spells. The wolf limped after Harry, and he threw another blasting curse at it, tearing the creature in half. Its body sank into the floor as Harry sent another cutter and stunner at Etna, followed up by an expelliarmous.

"Oh, come on!" taunted Etna, taking the cutter, but dodging the stunner and the disarming spell. "Is that it? Is that all you've got? I want some creativity!"

Harry launched a set of silver ropes at Etna, who caught them. He sent a bolt of electricity through them, causing Etna to twitch and laugh.

"That's the spirit! Keep it up!" she shouted.