Mina stared at the wooden mug filled with ale in front of her. Renault and Boris sat on either side of her. She’d barely touched hers, but both of them were on their second mugs.

“So, fuckwit, what makes you think that I’m the one that owes you money again?” Renault asked. 

“Fuckwit? That’s just rude.” Boris glared at Renault, his ears perking forward and his tail fluffed up. “I don’t think. I know. I don’t forget face of bastard who cheated.”

The swordsman rolled his eyes. “I think you need your eyes checked then. That or you think all of my kind look the same, and that’s just racist.”

Boris frowned. “That is not what I said. I know you don’t look same.”

“Obviously that isn’t the case. Since you are mixing me up with someone else.” Renault crossed his arms and levelled his steel gaze on Boris.

Boris’s ears flattened and his tail became even fluffier. He sputtered and then growled something under his breath and took a swig of his ale.

Mina dropped her face into her hands to hide the smile that was beginning to form. Listening to them bicker was entertaining. Yes, they were partially being serious, but you could hear that undercurrent of amusement from both of them. It was a game now. Boris accused Renault of owing him money and then Renault denying it was him.

The smile slowly faded from her lips. She wanted that kind of camaraderie with someone; but having attachments wasn’t something she was willing to do. They’d only drag her down and when she finally ended her quest—only heartache would remain. She didn’t deserve to have anything like that, to be happy. She didn’t want to have to find a way out; the sins she’d committed were to great. She couldn’t stop now, not even if she wanted to. She was in too deep. 

She squeezed her eyes shut and then took a hefty swig of her ale. Her quest was her only purpose in life. What did she have if she didn’t have that? Solitude? The face of all the women and children she’d killed? 

Pain blossomed across her lower lip as her teeth sank into the flesh.

No. She couldn’t live after she was finished. Not after everything she’d done. She didn’t regret it. She’d done them a favor. She’d saved them from becoming like her. No one should live like she did. 

“Are you okay?” Boris’s voice cut through her reverie. “You’re bleeding.”

Mina reached up and touched her lip, pulling her fingers away and staring at the crimson that stained the tips. “I must have bit it.” She wiped the blood off on her clothes and laughed. “I was a bit lost in thought.”

Boris and Renault glanced at each other and then back to her.

“Are you alright?” The Ashan asked again.

“Yeah, nothing to worry about.” She forced a smile on her face.

He frowned and then stood, his tail swishing forcefully and his ears pinned. “If say so. I will go see if I can find William.”

Mina took another long swig of her ale and blinked when she realized it was empty. She called for another. She couldn’t look at Renault. She wasn’t sure why, but she was sure he’d know what she’d been thinking about. She didn’t want to see the pity in his eyes.

The barmaid brought her another mug and she took another long swig.

“Look at me,” Renault said. 

Mina paused and continued to drink, not moving to do as he said. 

“Look. At. Me.” His voice was more commanding this time.

She took a deep breath and placed her ale down before turning, matching his steel gaze with her own. 

“How much blood do you have on your hands?” He asked, not breaking eye contact. 

She blinked and then took another sip of her ale. “I don’t have enough alcohol in me to talk to you about this. I don’t want to talk about it at all.”

Renault let out a sigh and his eyes turned gentle. “Look, I know you think I’m a prick, and you’re not wrong. I’m not heartless.”

“I never said you were.” Another swig of ale.

“No, you haven’t. You haven’t had to. I know the look, I’m not blind. You think I’m a cruel, heartless bastard.” Renault crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. 

Was that hurt she heard in his voice?

“I don’t think you’re heartless. Yeah, you’re a prick and an asshole, that’s for sure. Not really getting around that. Cruel and heartless though?” She shook her head. “Those were never words I’d have used to describe you.”

She downed the rest of her ale. The barmaid already had another one in hand and set it down on the table. How could she think that of him? She’d seen how he’d helped William bury the people from the village and military outpost without being asked. Someone that didn’t care wouldn’t have done that. 

She started to sway in her seat and stared at the table, not looking up at Renault. It was fine if she told him a little bit, right? He wouldn’t judge her, and if he did, what did she care? 

“I was married once, you know,” she finally said. “He was a good man. A decent man. He’d hate me for what I am now. Curse the monster I’ve become.” she felt tears pricking at the corner of her eyes.

Renault didn’t respond, he just listened as she spoke.

“He didn’t even have a fucking chance. He was trying to save me. He tried so hard…and they just…they ripped him apart. Tore his arms from his body and laughed. I couldn’t do anything, I was powerless. They took me…three fucking years.” she took a deep breath and a tear fell down her cheek. “Three fucking years I was there, I was a pycus. A fucking breeder.”

“It figured, as much as Grayson and I had tried…we never could have kids…but with them? I didn’t have any problem at all. None.”

She tightened her grip on her mug until her knuckles turned white and she choked back a sob. He hadn’t deserved to die like that. “It was after the third one that I just…I broke. I couldn’t take it anymore and something inside of me just snapped. I burned the entire fucking encampment to the ground. No one survived. Why…Why hadn’t that happened when they first came…I could have saved Grayson. I could have done something instead of just being so fucking helpless.”

Her amber eyes caught Renault’s gaze and held it. “Once I got out, I made a vow to myself. I would kill every fucking orc alive and I would free those tainted by their touch.”

Renault didn’t say anything for a long while. He took a sip of his ale and leaned back in his chair and nodded. “I get that. I can’t say I blame you either.” 

Mina didn’t remember falling asleep, but she regretted waking up. Pain raced across her head as she squinted against the light that streaked across the room she found herself in. She groaned as she slowly sat up, her head swam and the entire room spun. 

A loud knock came from her door and she winced as the pain intensified at the noise. Why did they have to bang so loudly? She stood up and made her way over and opened the door. The metal-clad figure of William stood on the other side of the threshold. His hand was closed into a fist and held up near the door. He dropped his his arm to his side and looked down at her.

“Are you feeling okay?” He asked, concern clear in his voice.

She glared up at him, “Do you have to knock so fucking loud?”

William’s head tilted. “I didn’t though?”

She winced at his words. “And don’t talk so loud.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment and then nodded. “I”ll be back in a few hours. The prince has agreed to grant you an audience.” His voice came out as barely more than a whisper, and yet was still somehow too fucking loud.

She looked up at him and squinted. “Alright.”

Good, she’d have time to get rid of her hangover at least. She could even wash up a bit so she didn’t smell like blood and sweat. 

She hadn’t had a hangover this bad since her wedding day. She closed the door as William left. A pang of guilt stabbed itself in her heart. Why had she drank so much last night? Why had she told Renault what she’d gone through and what she’d done?

What the fuck was wrong with her? She couldn’t believe that she’d told him all that, and did it on purpose! What had she been expecting? Sympathy?

She walked over to her bed and sat down. No, not sympathy. Condemnation. She’d wanted him to condemn her for her actions. She wasn’t entirely sure why she thought she’d get that from Renault; it was probably because he was the one that was there. 

William was more likely to give her that, but she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to handle that. William was just so…pure. Getting that kind of reaction from him was something she expected to. Renault’s would have had far more impact.

“Why are you searching for condemnation?”

Mina’s head shot up and she winced as the action sent her head to pounding again. “Okay. Who are you are? I’m tired of playing this fucking game.”

“I am your Spirit. I have been waiting for you. My name is Ariadne.” It was the most recent voice, the one that didn’t sound as though it was in pain. 

Mina’s head had stopped pounding and it felt as though a warm blanket had settled around her.

“How do I know that? How do I know you’re telling the truth?” 

“Why would I lie?”

Mina got the sense that the Spirit was confused by the question. She was so tired of this. She was tired of the guessing and trying to differentiate reality with whatever the fuck was going on. 

“Because everyone lies.”

“I do not.”

Yeah. Right. “That’s exactly what a liar would say.”

Ariadne didn’t respond, but there was a lot of amusement coming from the where the voice sat in her mind. 

“Right, so if you’re my Spirit does that mean you’ve Awoken?” Mina crossed her arms and leaned against the wall, staring up at the ceiling.

“No. I can merely speak with you, I am unable to manifest. You first must fully accept my presence.”

“Okay, fine. I fully accept you.” Mina looked around, to try to see what her Spirit would look like. She said she accepted her, so surely that was all she had to do.

“Unfortunately, it is not that simple. You have to accept me fully in your soul. You still resist my presence as a sentient being, or that I am actually your Spirit.”

Mina scowled and rolled her eyes. Accept her in her soul? That was fucking suspicious.

“You find this suspicious, I understand that. I shall withdraw for the moment and allow you to reflect upon what you have learned today.”

The feeling of the warm blanket slid off of Mina, but the pain didn’t return. So, that was good at least. 

Her eyes closed. Was Ariadne really her Spirit or was it the other voice? It had been rather quiet for a bit now. Ariadne hadn’t seemed like she was in pain, while the other one definitely did. Mina chewed on her bottom lip. 

If Ariadne was her Spirit, then who was the other voice? If the other voice was her Spirit, then who was Ariadne? What did they want? Why were they in pain? If they weren’t her Spirit why were they reaching out to her of all people? 

She just had more questions, and not enough answers. None of this made any kind of sense. What the fuck was going on?

Mina sat there for several more hours lost in thought, only pulled out of it when another knock sounded on her door. She got up to find all three of her travelling companions standing there. She had no idea where Renault and Boris had gotten new clothes, but damn did they look good. 

The clothes fit them so well and highlighted their physiques really well. She may not be interested in a relationship or anything like that, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t appreciate how they looked. They’d never be as handsome as Grayson—no one could be.

William held up a brown package tied with a string. “I got this for you to meet the prince.”

Ah. William had gotten them clothes. She glanced down at her own, they were covered in dried blood, dirt, and gods only knew what else. A change of clothes was welcome. 

“Thank you,” she muttered and took the package from William. “Give me a moment and I’ll be out.” She shut the door and unwrapped the package. The dress inside was a beautiful crimson color, almost exactly the shade of her hair and shimmered whenever it moved. She placed it on her bed and ran a hand over the smooth fabric. 

She’d always dreamed of wearing a dress like this, but never thought she’d actually be able to; not even in her wildest dreams. Her hand moved away from the dress and fell to her side. She couldn’t wear this, there was no way she’d be able to do it the kind of justice it deserved. How much had it even cost? Something like this had to have been very expensive. 

She glanced over the dress more and frowned as she realized it was a halter top. It would show her scars. Her normal clothes covered up most of them, but this dress…it would put them on display for the entire world to see. 

Her clothes weren’t that dirty, right? Sure, her shirt had been white at one point and was a light brown now, but that was just stains, not actual dirt…and it only had some dried blood on it. 

Who was she kidding? Her clothes were fucking disgusting. She could probably maneuver so that no one got a good look at her back. She removed her clothes and moved to the wash basin to wash her skin as best she could so as to not mar or taint the dress. 

Getting it on was a lot easier than she’d expected. The bodice tied in the front and it fit her perfectly. She had no clue how William had guess her measurements so accurately, but it was impressive. 

She smoothed her hands over the skirt and rolled her shoulders. Her back was bare too, which just made everything worse. Maybe there was a cloak she could wear…she could wear William’s cloak, but it wouldn’t really go with the dress.

She frowned. No, this was a mistake. She couldn’t wear this. She’d just change back into her old clothes and tell them that the dress didn’t fit. Yeah, that’s what she’d do. It was the perfect plan.

Another knock on her door. “Miss Mina, are you okay? We need to get going soon to meet the prince. We really shouldn’t be late.”

Shit. 

She took a deep breath and smoothed the dress over her legs and opened the door with a scowl. “Yeah, I’m ready. Let’s go. Lead the way.” She gestured at the three of them to go before her.

None of them said anything or moved for a long moment and then Renault shook his head, “Damn, you do clean up good, wench. I knew there was a woman under all that dirt and grime.” 

Mina narrowed her eyes, “Can we just fucking go please?”

“Right, of course Miss Mina.” William turned and began to walk down to the tavern part of the inn and out into the town. 

She drew her shoulders back and raised her head. She knew that walking through town she wouldn’t be able to avoid others seeing her back, but that was fine. She didn’t care about their whispers or looks that she was sure would come. She’d never have to see them again, but she didn’t want the looks of pity from Renault, William, or Boris.