WARNING:
This chapter has slight description of self-harm, if you have any kind of trigger with this topic, please skip it (it's one of the last scenes)
Arc 2 pt. 2
Scene 0
The year of 2019 was finally beginning, and many things had changed since the end of the war. The city of Díxìa, once dead and without inhabitants, completely destroyed, was now full of life, organized, beautiful and with more and more residents. As the years went by, more different species were attracted to Earth, and the Humans began to get used to living with this diversity. After so many changes, perhaps they could finally rest:
- But of course it won't be like that - She smiled
The woman was looking at a large mural in a monochrome room. It looked fuller, there were countless photos, newspaper articles, papers, notes, lots of information. She had a big smile:
- Things must have moved on well by now.
- Are you sure?
She turned around, looking back. Her smile disappeared:
- I mean - Cheng spoke - Hellen and Qian failed.
- I already knew that.
- hah, and you still called them?
- Cheng... don't you know your place? Keep quiet until I give you an order, until then you'll help Hellen with whatever she asks of you. That was the deal, wasn't it?
Cheng remained silent:
- They both had to fail once for everything to work out. Your problem is that you see everything too closely, try to take a wider view.
- How would it be necessary for them to fail?
- I don't need to answer that.
- But Mary failed and you killed her, what's the difference between them?
- She was no longer useful, so why keep useless pieces? - She looked at Cheng - Besides, Qian's failure is just what I need to make things work. It's going to be a butterfly effect... just sit back and wait.
- I hope my usefulness lasts a long time yet.
- hmm... well, there are some people who are so forgettable that I don't need to get rid of them once they've become useless - She looked straight ahead again - you can consider that luck, if you want.
- And what's your next step?
- There are a few things that need to be finished before I move my next pieces. It shouldn't take too long. - She smiled - I prefer to keep what I really want to do a secret. It'll be a surprise for everyone. Currently, however, I need to push a certain person to the edge of the cliff, not literally.
- Who would be the target?
The woman finally stopped looking at the mural, turning in Cheng's direction. She approached, stopping in front of a chess board; the game had already begun. She moved one of the pieces, a bishop, which ate a pawn:
- Mio.
Scene 1
It was strange, weird, to say the least. This question had been on her mind for the past year. And it made her realize how much she didn't know about her own sister. To begin with, when she revisited the day she killed Yuki with her own hands; that was the day things started to go wrong. At that time, Yuki had been over 18 for a long time, she had been living on Earth ever since. While Mio was only 14, she hadn't even discovered her main path, she had almost no power, she was as weak as an adult Human. So. How had she been able to kill a Chronos? Not to mention, if she could predict the future, how had Yuki been imprisoned by Humans? And, if that eye patch didn't hide an injured eye, why did she have it? Who gave it to her?
There were so many questions, so many questions that would remain unanswered. Mio wouldn't be able to deduce them, and Yuki would never reveal them. In the end, after a long time mulling it all over, the only thing she could understand was: it was all on purpose. If there was one thing that Mio could say for sure, it was that Yuki was extremely meticulous; everything she did was thought about over and over again. So, her being killed, coming back to life, wearing an eye patch all this time, taking it off just now, acting like this... all of this had a reason, and they weren't simple actions decided on overnight. What could it be?
She stared at the ceiling, lying on her bed. She turned her face to look away, the bed that had once been empty was now where Kieza slept. She looked down, right next to her bed; her bass was stored there. Next to it was a garbage can full of crumpled papers, the same routine: write something, fail, crumple the paper, repeat the cycle:
- If Yuki isn't who I thought she was - She muttered - then who is she? Why did she do all this? What happened to her before I came to Earth?
After a long time thinking about it, the only plausible answer was: to blame Mio. After all, after doing all this, the only thing Yuki could do was blame her. It was to trap her in that past, to make her revive that damn day every day. Having trouble sleeping because of those memories, barely getting through the grieving process after killing her own sister and losing her parents only to be forced to live with the spirit of her dead sister, suffering from the trauma and creating an alter ego, who killed countless people and then being driven to attempt suicide because of that same alter ego. All that done, Yuki just laughed it off. Now, everything Mio had been through was causing her paranoia. For example, Sora, who lost her family because of 2.0, did Yuki know? Had it been planned? Was it deliberate to make her fall in love with Yuki, only to reject her? Or was it on purpose to use Mary to manipulate Kieza, forcing Mio to feel indebted to her and then bring her in to live together?
She continued to stare at her ceiling without stopping, almost hypnotized. Her eyes were fixed:
- Yuki, my whole life has been a lie, hasn't it? - She said it without even blinking
Suddenly, everything was suspicious, she no longer felt comfortable trusting anyone. It was all driving her crazy. Shit. She couldn't trust anything anymore. She didn't want to see Yuki's face, or that of any of her friends, let alone Phaniel. Yuki would probably just laugh at the situation. Her friends would be worried, but what if they had all been dragged into this because of her? And Phaniel... he didn't deserve Mio, he should move on. It was better just to stay locked in her room. Without leaving the house. Avoid crossing paths with Yuki. Maybe that was for the best.
Then Mio's expressionless face began to distort into a smile, but she still stared at the ceiling:
- You tried so hard... so hard to destroy me. I even feel sorry for you. All right, sister, since you've put so much effort into it, I'll do what you want. If you want to see me broken, I'll break magnificently.
Scene 2
It was already 2019. Honestly, why did time have to pass so quickly? She'd been living with Mio for almost two years. Yeah. Time does pass quickly. Well, she wouldn't lie... she could have found another house and moved out by now, but Kieza was always so insistent. She hated to admit it. But the problem was... Mio. Even though she married Phaniel almost a year ago, the two of them don't seem to be anywhere near living together. Meanwhile, Mio never rushed Kieza to find a new home, on the contrary, it was almost as if she wanted Kieza to stay there. She liked Kieza's company, and Kieza liked Mio's company too:
- This is bad - She said, looking at herself in the mirror - It's hard to control my feelings like this.
She didn't want to have to admit it, but Mio was definitely to blame. In the past, Kieza confirmed that Mio was fully aware of her feelings, even before she invited Kieza to move in with her. Not to mention the fact that the two of them sleep in the same room, drink coffee at the same time, watch movies together, help each other with the housework... Anyone who saw that would be surprised, and rightly so. If she wants to get married, she should keep her distance from the woman who is LITERALLY in love with her!!!
- Mio, you can't help me like this - She muttered, as she looked at the sink
However, the way they were both acting, it seemed much more like Mio's spouse was Kieza, not Phaniel:
- Maybe I should just end all this once and for all, I don't want to be the reason Phaniel wants to divorce. Maybe I should look for a new house, then...
That was so hard, though. She hated to admit it, but Mio's gentle way warmed her heart, and denying such a sweet and cozy feeling was painful. Without the support of her family, after losing several friends... Kieza ended up being too thirsty for the slightest bit of affection and attention. Yes, she should admit, this was entirely her fault and she should probably seek therapy, but... agh, who needs therapy when Mio could fill that void in her heart?
- you were the first person who respected me entirely for who I am - She spoke with regret, almost holding back tears - I should draw a line now, but... if I do that, there's no going back - She took a deep breath - I'm weak.
Perhaps part of this could also be her dislike of Phaniel, even though the two of them had only met a few times, the few times they had spoken had been very uncomfortable. He's incredibly ignorant and rude, and the only person who can change his attitude is Mio, otherwise he's a pain in the ass. So Kieza can't help but wonder how Mio fell for him. What's so good about him? What does he have that I don't? I could treat her better, I'd be a better match for her. And things like that:
- Of all people - She bit her lip - why did it have to be him? Specially him.
She would never forget, both Yuki and Phaniel, the way they looked at Kieza. How could such cruel and self-centered people be close to this person... sweet, perfect, a real goddess, like Mio? While Kieza... never made Mio cry, get drunk, lock herself in her room, lose nights of sleep. But... maybe that wasn't a good thing:
- I still want to be with you.
And after a long time of suffering from all this, she finally gave up. Without looking for a new home, without trying to repress her feelings. She'd admit it, it was impossible to stop liking Mio, she'd tried several times, but every time she looked into her eyes... ah, the world no longer existed, Mio became her world. Of course, this didn't mean that she was going to destroy Mio's (supposedly) happy marriage. She would just watch her from afar, support her, be there for her whenever, until the end of her life. Maybe that would be for the best.
Scene 3
- Ahh... - Mia sighed, one of her hands holding her head
- What's wrong?
Andou and Mia were in the staff room, on their break from work:
- It's Mio again.
- Mio? I think I heard about that.
- Yeah... - She slumped back in her chair - she's excluding herself again...
- But is there a reason?
- Nobody can tell - She shrugged - ah, seriously..
- What's the gossip? - Iro entered the room
- Mio - Andou answered
- She's staying at home all the time, isn't she?
- Mhm...
- What bothers me most is that she and Phaniel are married, but it doesn't look like it! - Mia said
- yeah.. - Andou looked away - I hate talking about other people's romantic lives, but, really...
- Eh, I gossip, yes - Iro said - Kieza and her seem much more like a couple than Phaniel. Not that that's a bad thing, I mean, IT IS bad because her husband is Phaniel, not Kieza. But, like... Kieza's been into her for a long time!
- Yes - Mia said - so... it makes me think, what you told me, Iro... about Mary and Kieza...
- No, not a chance - He nodded
- What, what? I don't know - Andou spoke
- When Kieza went crazy, back in 2018... she made a deal with Mary.
- Yes, I remember!
- Yeah, but the deal was kind of... to get Mio's attention - Iro continued - but I don't think what's happening now has anything to do with her. She's insistent, ignorant and proud...
- Jesus, Iro, are you really Kieza's friend? - Andou said, laughing
- Hey! No, what I mean is that, though she is like that, Kieza would never go so far as to destroy Mio's marriage.
- Well - Mia said - I could understand her, you know. Phaniel has always been specifically rude to Kieza, I think he knew about her feelings. If I were her, it would sound tempting to do something, just to annoy Phaniel...
- Typical Mia, pay attention, Iro.
- Are you going to say that you wouldn't do the same?
- Eh - Iro looked away - when Kieza told me that... I actually agreed with her - He seemed ashamed of his actions
- Right... - Mia crossed her arms.
- I think I'm the only innocent one here - He laughed
- Anyway - Iro clapped his hands - both of you, back to work!
- Okay.. - Andou walked slowly
- Gee, not even a discount for me? - Mia said, holding back her laughter
- I'm sorry, I have to be professional.
- Just because Andou's here - She crossed her arms
- You'll get a scolding later, Iro - Andou laughed
Scene 4
The afternoon had arrived, and once again the three of them were gathered in the staff room. Having their well-deserved rest, they had coffee, some cake and a few other things:
- But you know, I feel like we've strayed too far from the subject before - Mia sipped her tea
- hm? - Andou looked at her as he ate a piece of cake
- I mean about Mio, we've strayed a lot on the gossip...
- Oh, yeah!
- I'm serious... I'm worried about her, can we do something?
- Have you tried talking to Phaniel? - Iro joined the conversation
- No...
- It's a good start, maybe he has some more information or something to say.
- Or Yuki - Andou spoke
- yeeeah... - Iro looked away - I don't know, no.
- SPEAKING OF WHICH! - Mia stood up, then sat down again - Have you seen her?
- Yuki?
- Aha!
- Hmm... it's been a while, actually - Andou replied
- She took off her eye patch.
- WHAT?!
- And she has heterochromia... one red and one gold... weird, to say the least.
- I don't like talking about Yuki - Iro said
- What?
- I don't know, maybe she's listening - He looked around - Let's get back to talking about Mio, hm?
- Okay, then.
- It's just that the last time we tried, it didn't work - Andou was saying - you can't call that Future girl again, can you, Mia?
- Not a chance. I don't even know where she is anymore.
- Maybe this isn't the best way to deal with Mio - Iro said - there may be another way. Now that Kieza lives with her, we can try to talk to her, too. Sometimes she can be our way of helping Mio.
- Good one, Iro! - Mia said
- Yeah, as expected from the leader~ - Andou laughed
- Leader of what? The meetings are kind of dead...
- You could consider this a meeting - Mia said
- Kieza, Zenska and Sora left, and now Aisa is kinda missing... it's not even worth it - Iro shrugged - not to mention, Cheng and Xaphan are quiet.
- There's Hellen...
- But what she does is kind of hard for us to stop, isn't it - He continued
- Unlike Xaphan who affects timelines, that's our job - Andou said
- AAAH, FOCUS, FOCUS! - Mia raised her voice slightly
- Sorry...
- So, let's talk to Phaniel and Kieza - Mia reminded - Not Yuki! Is that it?
- That's it.
- Not Yuki!
- But what do we talk to them about? I think I'm the closest to both of them, so I can talk to them...
Scene 5
Have you ever seen everything you love get destroyed right in front of you? What took you years to achieve, your belongings, your possessions. Your friends, your family. Everything that was once "yours", and also what wasn't yours. Your routine, your normality, snatched away from you in an instant. Tell me, have you ever been through this? You looked around and saw that nothing was left. And then a terrible fear consumed you, an emptiness appeared in your chest. Tell me, have you ever felt like that?
Phaniel got out of bed, went to the bathroom and washed his face. The whole time he had his hand on his head. What a terrible pain. A hangover, very common:
- aaaaghhh... - He grumbled
Yeah. I thought so. Your life is still normal, your routine is the same as always and it's even boring. But there are people who envy your futile and forgettable life. There are even those who would kill to have this idleness. Imagine how great it would be to be able to go back in time, where everything had its proper place. Where you woke up and that elderly lady next door said hello and asked how your mother was. You waited at the bus stop and there were always the same people; that same guy in a suit, counting every second, tapping his shoe on the floor impatiently. Oh, and it was about time. That schoolgirl, who was always incredibly late at the same time, would come running, asking for the bus to wait for her. Then it was late, the birds were singing, and depending on the time of year there were cicadas. The same woman took her dogs for a walk, the siamese cat who always lounged on a wall. And the same cyclist who passed by, saying "good afternoon".
Phaniel went to the kitchen and made an extra-strong coffee, he drank it and didn't eat anything:
- this sucks - He frowned
It's just that, on a day like any other, he got up. Things were quiet. The birds weren't singing, the trees weren't swaying. That lady, who was watering her plants, stood still, the water dripping from her watering can never finished gushing, but it never reached the plants either. The man in the suit couldn't tap his foot and kept looking at his watch. The schoolgirl, in the middle of her walk, while shouting at the bus, completely static. Hours later, what should have been dusk, with no sign of a cat, cyclist or woman, in fact the same lady was still watering her plants. The morning sun was still static. The whole world had stopped. Of course, except him. Perhaps it was a strange dream, too realistic. But when he went to sleep and woke up, the day didn't start again, things didn't move. Everything was exactly the same as before, even the specks of dust.
Phaniel sat at his desk, drinking his cup of coffee, staring at the wall, completely stuck in thought:
- I can't understand you.
He didn't know how long he'd seen that same scene, how many times he'd stared at the lady watering the plants, or tried to count the folds in the man's suit, or whether the schoolgirl would make it on time, based on her distance to the bus, which never left. Or sometimes when he went to a zoo or a store, or even the time he decided to walk to another city. One day, all these things began to disappear, as if they had never existed. In the middle of a white, infinite void, the only thing left was him. And someone else, a stranger. He had a feathered shoulder pad:
Phaniel got up and went to the balcony of his house, sitting down on a perfectly placed chair to make the most of the sunlight. Nearby were a few potted plants, which were also grateful for the light they received:
- I don't know if it's worth it anymore.
The two of them talked for a while, and he was able to understand what had happened. That guy on the doorstep was a "Reaper and Jumper" and now he could become one too. Ah, well, why not? So he got that shoulder pad too, and went to another universe, where everything that was once common to him never existed. However, due to a glitch in the transmigration process, he ended up not only rejuvenating, but becoming someone else. Now, as well as being an R-J, he was also a Half-Plant. The problem was that no one could know this. Earth was in a war precisely to decide whether or not Humans should coexist with other species. And he was on Earth.
Phaniel looked at the plants and smiled:
- The sun is good, right? - He layed back in his chair - yeah, I know.
As a result of all this, he closed himself off and ended up, unintentionally, becoming someone who was extremely rude, selfish and ignorant. But that woman... she melted him completely. Her smile was so bright, more than a star. Her voice was soothing and every time her laughter echoed in his ears, ah, no one could ever write a melody as good as that. He must be the luckiest person in the world to have her as his wife. Yeah. That's how things should be, if her sister wasn't a huge asshole, and if she didn't have a two-faced friend.
He squirmed in his chair, it seemed that the damn headache had gone:
- but things aren't so good.
Maybe his sister-in-law knew, but his wife had so far seemed incredibly clueless. Which was funny, to say the least. She had no idea of his true identity. Well, even if he was a Reaper, he never played his role very well. He did his work hiding it, he didn't believe that his work should be recognized, and after a few years, his shoulder pad was left gathering dust in some box. As for being a half-plant, well, his wife always found it odd that he preferred to sunbathe rather than have breakfast, but as he never saw the need to use his powers, none of this was ever revealed. Perhaps they were even, because he only found out she was a Goddess after the war was over. So far, though, everything was fine. Until that damned woman took off her eye patch. He never blamed her, he would never blame his wife, never, she was just a victim in all this. Still, come on, what does it cost? He just wanted ONCE in his life to have a normal life, an ordinary routine, he just wanted to have his damn married life like everyone else does. Why couldn't he?
- agh, Mio - He sighed - what should I do? Have I done something wrong? Why you listen to Yuki, why don't you distance yourself from Kieza? - He had one of his hands on his face
Yeah. He had to admit it. His sister-in-law knew. She always knew, and yet she kept it all from her own sister. From the fact that she was a fake, a fox, a bitch, two-faced. Even the fact that her husband wasn't, never was, a Human. And she also knew that he knew. Perhaps that was why she had always been hostile towards him. What could pass for sisterly jealousy - hah, jealousy, that bitch? - was actually just because he knew too much. However, a lie is like a snowball. The more time passes, the less you have the courage to tell it. And for Phaniel, this was no different:
- I trust you, Mio - He sighed - I want to believe that, even if you fit Kieza into your heart, there'll still be room for me - He closed his eyes - I accept. I just want to live my life in peace.
Scene 6
Such hatred, disgust, terror, remorse. I hate everything. I can't trust anyone. I don't want to see anyone ever again. Get out of my life. All of them. I'd rather they all died. Get out, get out! How can you? How dare you? I've had enough of everything! I'm sick of you, you and you! I want you to fuck off, ALL OF YOU.
tic, tic, tlic, tic
I HATE. FUCK YOU. WHY, WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE ALL THIS? Tell me, is it something I did, is it my way? Or is it just because you're hateful? I've tried my whole life to do you good, to be the best for you, and not just for you, FOR EVERYONE. But this is how you thank me? Have you ever realized all the sacrifices I've made for you? No one has ever thanked me for everything I've done. Well done. May you all BURN IN HELL. I CURSE YOU ALL.
tlic, tic, tic
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Die, die, DIE. I can't take it anymore. I'm tired, I want to go home. Mom, Dad, I miss you. I just want to close my eyes and forget all this. That's all I'm asking. I've done so much all my life, I've done my best all the time, so at least you can grant me this wish, right?
tchic, tic, tlic, tic
Right. I should imagine. It's not going to work out. You can't trust anyone. It's all right, though. Okay, okay. You know what? I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF YOU. FUCK ALL OF YOU, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. I don't give a shit, I don't need you, you can just go away. If you didn't thank me at my best, then you'll see me at my worst. I'm tired, I'm tired. Always preventing problems, controlling people, caring about others. I lost nights and nights of sleep worrying about you, and none of you did the slightest for me. I was willing to sacrifice my life. And that's it, that's what I get.
tlic, tchic, tchic, tic, tic, tlic
Hah. Hahah. HAHAH. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I want to see your expression squirm, sulken. I want to hear you crying, screaming, wailing. I don't care, not anymore. I just got tired. That's it. I'm not going to worry about anything else. I want everyone to fuck off.
The sound of the scissors still continued. That incessant "tic, tic". In between, there was some crying and sobbing, but, strangely, laughter too. After a long while, the noises finally stopped. Mio lifted her face and looked in the mirror. She took a few deep breaths. She had calmed down. She adjusted the table mirror, then looked at the state of her room. There were a few drops of blood scattered around. Her clothes were stained too. Her wrists and neck were riddled with cuts, from where the blood was seeping out. Since realizing what Yuki had done, this had become quite common. It was the best way she found to deal with the pain, to take it out on herself. Because of this, long sleeves and turtlenecks became more common in her closet. Now, along with the drops of blood, there were also locks of hair. However, it wasn't black hair, it was blonde. Mio looked in the mirror again. Her blonde short hair, her cyan eyes completely faded and lifeless. Now that was her.
Since the death of her parents, Mio has lived on Earth. Normally for Gods, you were sent to Earth (or any Non-Mythic planet) to find your "main path" as soon as you turned 18. It was a way of testing young people and also forcing them to live with different species, however, as they were infinitely strong, they had to be sealed. This doesn't affect their integrity, since as soon as they discover their "path", they can return to Olympus. But Mio didn't go to Earth because of this, she went there because it was the only place she could go. Yuki was still there, and with her parents dead, it was the only possible place. Since then she's been sealed. Her hair has never been black, and her eyes have only taken on a cyan hue because they represent loyalty. Originally, she was much more like Yuki, with her mother's blonde hair and her father's black eyes, while Yuki had her father's hair and her mother's eyes. Now. She's given all that up. And she unsealed anyway. Mio was no longer the same. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing:
- I should take care of it. - She touched her neck, which was still bleeding
At that time, Kieza entered the room and saw that scene. The two didn't exchange many words. Quietly, she cleaned the floor, took bandages, cleaned the cuts and bandaged them. Mio didn't protest at any point. Perhaps... like Phaniel, she... could also be... trusted. Kieza's vibrant, red eyes met Mio's dead, discolored ones. She sat on the edge of the other bed, the two of them facing each other.
Scene 7
After the injuries were treated and the room was cleaned, Mio and Kieza remained in complete silence for a while. Maybe Kieza was waiting for Mio to explain everything. But to be honest, she was never good at putting her feelings into words. In fact, when her parents passed away, the way she dealt with her grief was by… playing music. That's how, during her adolescence and youth, she had a band. A band that had long since disbanded, her bass was most of the time next to her bed, and her scores were full of scribbles and unfinished. It was like this in the past, at least:
– There are two songs that I've recently finished. I haven't played it for anyone yet - She looked at Kieza - do you want to hear it?
The other remained silent, perhaps incredulous at how the woman managed to ignore that whole scene and completely change the subject:
– Of course.. - She replied
Mio picked up her bass, held it, pulled out two scores and quickly read them, still leaving them on her desk. She positioned her hands, took a deep breath and began to sing:
– “I'm suddenly taken back to that time. When I waited for you underneath the blue sky. Passing by me in an instant, slipping from the depths of my imagination, hey. Can someone tell me what'll happen next? Say, tell me how to make it go on just another day. Looking right into your eyes. As I walked away from you one last time” - Pause - “I'm suddenly taken back to that time. All the summers who would bore me out of my mind. Didn't I quit playing piano? Out of habit, tapping on my desk to play the notes. Hey, can someone tell me what I'm gonna do? Hey, anything besides music should be okay.” - Slight pause - “Everything will be okay. If you took my heart and drew, a single note just straight on through. No, it wouldn't disappear, believe me. Whatever I do, it just won't disappear, it's still right here! But I've got it wrong again, I don't understand, I don't really care though. Not about music, or truth, or this world, or this life I hold, I don't really care, no! Seeing things in black and white isn't right, it's just an excuse, right? One thing's for sure, though. Everything is your fault.” - Pause - “I'm suddenly taken back to that time. Growing old was the only thing on my mind. Knowing that I simply would die, it was like a stab in the chest, although I never understood why. Hey, do you know what you'll be doing one day? Passing by the years, I knew what I would do one day, I'd be doing nothing at all. All your positivity ignites a hatred deep in me. Knowing I'll never be happy, knowing that I'll never be enough, can't you see? It haunts my every single waking dream! But I know you know I'm right. Though we're different, we're humans deep inside. But without love, or salvation, or kindness, or comfort though, is it really life? At the! Crying when the radio plays this sappy note is lame, but this I know. One thing's for sure, though, everything is your fault.” -Pause - “I've tried, but I still don't understand why. Why is it we have to fight to live our own life, why can't I live off doing the one thing I like? I don't care if my lyrics aren't quite right.” - Slight pause - “I don't really care, no. 'Cause I think I've got it right.” - Slight pause - “Yeah, I think I've got it right. Yeah, I know I've got it, right..?” - Pause - “But I've got it wrong again. I don't understand, I don't really care though. Not about humans, or truth, or this world, or this life I hold. I don't really care, no! Never giving a reply, just philosophical lines. It's just an excuse, right? One thing's for sure, though. Everything is your fault” - Pause - “Even I had dreams long, long ago. Now it doesn't feel the same as it did before. I've told you time and time again. It really didn't matter if nothing came from it, you know. You do know, I know you know. Now I can't do it anymore. So now you know why. So now you know why I don't do music anymore.”
It was clear how much feeling Mio had put into those lyrics. After finishing, she was panting for a while, not only from singing and playing, but from all the emotion that was released. Kieza just silently paid attention to the music. Before Mio played the other, the two looked at each other. It seemed like they were able to communicate only through silence and exchanging glances. It was everything they needed. Words would not be necessary:
– “Somebody like yourself, true and kind, would never understand this finding heart of mine. Cursing other people, yes, is what I do best, and so I write songs to pass the time. I've always dreamed of being on TV, to hear the audience lovingly praise me. For now, I guess I’ll make this knife sharp as can be.” - Slight pause - “Hear the crash of glass being pounded at, the tearing noise of a piece of paper turning to shreds. And thе setting sun after goodbye is said is just so lovеly… Even that much is plain to see! The birds cry out their song in the sunset. The empty ache I feel starts to sing a swansong too. And yet, you linger still in the shadows. Standing on your toes, sky a flaming red hue. Slipping off my tongue, was my goodbye to you” - Pause - “I wanted to be seen, I want to love. Are these the 'dreams' that people talk about? Just another beggar begging for it to be. I’m lazy, hurry and satisfy me! Somebody like yourself wouldn't get, this ugly jealousy that simmers in my chest. Always looking for an opportunity to hit and to strike 'em back! Hear the crash of glass bottles striking lamps, the blaring noise a guitar makes as it’s being slammed. These regrets with no way to make amends. Though it’s lovely, just the thought, see, that even that much is plain to see! The words, relentless, beat down upon me. December slowly creeps into my September heart. And in the spring, the mist in the mountains, rises in the sky, summer following behind. Caressing both my cheeks, as the breeze passes by” - Pause - “Somebody like yourself, true and kind, would never understand this aching heart of mine. I'm no good at living but I don't wanna die, and so I write songs to pass the time. I feel it every day, the words, the hate, the sheer disgust of everybody as they look my way. It's why I only write songs that hurt other people now. And songs without a soul, like the one that you’re hearing now” - Slight pause - “I wanna drink your words down completely. I use my hands to hold them, nowhere to put them in. One day, my drought will no doubt diminish, but until it does, waiting here until then.” - Slight pause - “The birds cry out their song in the sunset. I beg this empty find to turn itself into a tun. And say goodbye to you in this sunset. Waiting for the night to come drown me in blue. Slipping off my tongue, is my goodbye to you.”
Finally, both songs were finished. Mio put away her bass.
1 The two songs sung by Mio are:
https://youtu.be/jGqY5SQPvs8?si=H7TU1pOxK6aqrfGR(That's why I gave up on music)
https://youtu.be/sAAfVjUwVc4?si=siQ-gEWo9DGCFPeu(Thought crime)
Both of them are english covers, you can find the original (that are in japanese) in the description of both videos <3
Final Scene
Again, the room was filled with silence, but it wasn't deafening:
– taking it out on yourself isn't very safe, you know - Finally Kieza had said something
– I know that – she lowered her head slightly
– there are other ways of dealing with pain.
– if you’re going to say that music could be one of them…
- no. I wasn't going to say that. Though it is true.. - Kieza opened her bedside drawer and took out a pack of cigarettes, she handed it to Mio - Humans are easy to fall into addictions like these. Maybe it's different for you.
– I've never used one - She took out a cigarette and lit it, with her own fire magic - hm? - She noticed that Kieza had been surprised by that - ah… you never seen it?
– No, and I didn’t expect it to be from you either.
– It's - She looked up, with a little smile - people change - She put the cigarette in her mouth, pulled it out and released it - hm.. - The smell of nicotine quickly filled the room - it's not bad.
– If it helps you calm down, and not mutilate yourself…
– Heh - She continued to smoke - as a Goddess, I imagine I can't develop cancer...
- Probably not…
– I wonder why this isn’t so common among Celestials…
– Using something created by Humans can be a bit shameful for the “deities” – She spoke with a certain mocking tone
Mio pulled out another cigarette and offered it to Kieza, who accepted. Before the woman could grab a lighter, Mio got up and approached her, using the flame in her cigarette to light the other's. She sat down on her bed again, still looking at Kieza:
– ah.. thank you - She seemed a little shy
The two stayed there for a while, just smoking and chatting. Incredibly, it wasn't the cigarette that calmed Mio down, but rather that futile conversation with Kieza. Ah, the only person who could clear Mio's thoughts like that was Phaniel. As expected, she is also... also someone trustworthy. After a while, the ashtray already had more than one cigarette in it. Kieza opened the window a little to ventilate the room. However, unlike the (now) blonde, the other was worried about something the entire time. Those eyes, even if faded, stared at her the entire time. She had… something. Should she be selfish?
– Kieza.
Oh. She had stopped paying attention, becoming too caught up in her thoughts. WAIT. Mio was.. too close. The cigarette smell that had stuck to her was now much stronger up close. However, it was not repulsive. On the contrary. Before Kieza could realize it, she had already run one of her hands behind Mio's hair. And she hadn't moved away at any time, her eyes fixed on Kieza's lips, and hers on Mio's.
That was cheating. For sure. No doubt. Mio had cheated on Phaniel. The Goddess of Loyalty. How ironic. Ah, but what could Kieza do? She was simply irresistible, she couldn't think straight with that woman right in front of her. The warmth of her body, the smell of cigarettes still permeating her clothes, and her incredibly soft lips. She would regret it the next day, but who cares?
