Lucy was shocked at the information the echolocational wave sent back to her. In the cabin there was no one but a female presumably human, about 5’8 to 5’9 feet tall lying on a soft cot in one of the corners.
This was a great surprise to Lucy because of how powerful the girl’s psi force was!
‘For her to be able to intrude a pureblood’s thoughts so easil- no to be able to project her thoughts so widely! This girl’s mind is very powerful.’
Telepathy was one of the hallmark abilities of individuals with psychic power. According to Amara’s memories magic beasts, vampires, and elves were the races with the highest population of individuals with psionic abilities.
Humans and lycans rarely had strong psychic power. Of course, there are rare instances where gifted individuals would develop the power, but it seems even Amara’s never ran into one of these gifted individuals.’ Lucy quickly surmised.
“I have to get a closer look!” Lucy said as she flew to a window near the side of the house.
She perched on a nearby tree branch just outside the building and stared into the simple room.
There were barely any objects of importance to be seen in the room besides the thin wood walls and small pieces of furniture.
Located in the back far left of the room was a sickly-looking girl lying flat on a cot. She looked to be about 18 or 19, just blossoming into a woman. Her cute face was fine like fresh jade and complete with a pair of dimples.
Long raven black hair with matching bangs curtained behind her as she laid on her back. The paleness of her skin contrasted greatly with the thin green robe she was wearing. As she laid completely unmoving on the cot, her cold cobalt blue eyes stared at the straw roof unblinking.
‘S-she really is human! But she looks like a foreigner, I wonder how she wound up here?’ Lucy wondered as she continued to spy on the girl. ‘By the paleness of her skin I’d think she was a vampire if her eyes weren’t blue. How mysterious…’
Suddenly Lucy felt a sudden wave of psychic energy brush just past her consciousness.
‘Oh fuck…’ thought Lucy.
“W-who’s there? Show yourself” the voice of the young girl cried out towards the window.
Lucy flattened her body against the tree branch and stayed completely quiet in hopes the girl would lose her presence.
“I know you’re there. Show yourself, o-or I’ll scream” the girl said in the empty room.
Realizing the jig was up Lucy’s commanded her vampire bat body to fly to the edge of the windowsill.
‘Fuck I hope I don’t regret this, but then again anything is better than being chased by a mob with spears’
“Haha they definitely would chase you with spears, little one. Tell me how are you able to communicate with me? I’ve never met another person let alone beast who could” The girl asked Lucy still unmoving on the cot.
‘Hmph I didn’t realize you were reading my thoughts, rude! But I could ask you the question girl, where are you from? Were you born on this island?’
“I’m Sera little bat and yes I was born on this island. My father is the shaman’ Sera told Lucy honestly
‘Really? How come you don’t-‘
“Don’t look like the others?” the girl asked as a trace of sadness appeared in her eyes. “Father says I’m being punished by our ancestors for not being a boy. That’s why I can’t walk or move. Father says I have to stay here so I don’t offend the sun or other villagers with my weird appearance”
Lucy had an incredulous look on her vampire bat face at the girl’s explanation. Sexism against women seemed to be practiced in this island village. Along with discrimination against disabled individuals.
Lucy had witnessed both of the barbaric prejudices amongst the commoners in her world of Morgana. However, she herself was fortunate enough to not have faced much bullying stemming from sexism in her past life, that is until her unfortunate coup and subsequent death.
No matter what, Lucy thought it was unacceptable to keep a disabled person locked up like this, let alone a young woman as gifted as Sera.
‘Your father is an idiot and-’, suddenly Lucy froze and took flight.
‘Someone’s coming!’ her senses alerted her.
“Wait! Come back!” Sera called after Lucy’s flying figure just as her father opened the door to their cabin.
“It’s dinner time Sera. Oi! You better not be talking to demons again” the old man said oblivious to the previous events.
Lucy flew swiftly through the dusk skies of the island, deep in thought.
‘Whew that was close, what was that girl’s name again…Sera right? She was quite interesting; I might have to keep my eye on her. She may prove useful if that shaman fellow she mentioned becomes an issue in the future’ Lucy planned nefariously as she flapped towards the waterfall clearing.
Paypal
you made it to treading due to the quality of your story
there is no need to thank us as we should be the ones thanking you
'Whew that was close, what was that girl's name again…Sera right? She was quite interesting; I might have to keep my eye on her. She may prove useful if that shaman fellow she mentioned becomes an issue in the future' Lucy planned nefariously as she flapped towards the waterfall clearing.
I think if she was that impressed by her "Psi power" even with Amara's memories, then she should be looking at her as a subordinate regardless of the Shaman. I mean, it's obvious that Sera will be a supporting character in the novel, I just think the reasoning Lucy gave for her interest in the girl is a bit irregular for the abilities Sera demonstrated and Lucy's recently expressed interest for a subordinate.
Beyond that, your spot in trending is well deserved. So far this novel has greatly interested me. Some suggestions I have, if I may~ I think she should gain more from drinking the blood of powerful creatures. Like, she gains a trait of the creature? Furthermore, it's apparent that this is a cultivation novel, yet the cultivation part of it is missing. I would personally like to see a bit more detail added to that aspect of the story.
And the rest of this is going to be random brainstorming ideas and speculations and other fun stuff.
Her eyes are mentioned a lot, so she may have some sort of charm effect on them?
I think a return of Amara might be interesting and add some more depth to the novel in the form of a permanent companion. The relationship between the two could be very interesting to read about.
I have an addiction to litrpgs, especially vampiric ones. In other words, this one is 100% biased. I wish there was a representation of her power in some clearly presented format. Sucking all the blood of that Hellephant would have given her a major boost in str, HP, def, con, and maybe MP/int/wis. Dex, agi, luk, and cha can be thrown out the window for what is basically a glorified mammoth. You could tie this into the cultivation aspect and have multiple blood stars to represent her different stats, and in order to advance in cultivation, she would need to grow/cultivate these stars.
Noble specific abilities are practically a must have. Just something to separate her from the common rabble. I'm not talking resistances and immunities, I'm talking like, "[Noble Blood] - The title holder has [Noble Blood], increasing charisma, luck, and dexterity. In addition, [Noble Blood] has healing properties matching a health potion of the title holder's Rank." Obviously, you would represent that differently in your novel, but you get the idea.
Mana fatigue. There needs to be more limitations like this. I noticed it when Lucy was on her rat killing spree, she had gotten dizzy from her blood manipulation. There needs to be more realistic limitations so she isn't just some OP character that gets whatever she wants easily. There needs to be struggles and payoffs that are directly related. That's what makes the journey interesting. I mean, at the same time, you also need to have fun with your story. Difficult balance.
You need a loli in your story. I don't care where, I don't care how, but it needs a loli. (Once again 100% bias, should probably be ignored)
Revenge at some point for Lucy would be nice and cathartic. Think Rising of the Shield Hero, Myne revenge. Except heads actually roll. And this time, not Lucy's.
Speaking of decapitation, Noble Born vampires are too strong, imo. The resistance/immunity to pretty much everything under the sun, including the sun, is kinda not fair. You're going to have to reveal that those resistances really aren't too impressive when put to the test, or realistically, she could walk into the middle of an army as long as they don't have silver/mithril weapons and literally kill everybody.
I think pacing should be slowed by just a tiny bit. The plot is advancing at a rate that is actually really good if you're only going by chapter number. However, the chapters could do with some more length to flesh out the events in each of them.
Blood bending from Avatar. Nuff said.
Running water and vampires. Think you forgot about that weakness, but I could be mistaken.
I think that's it. I'd like to come up with more, but I have like, 5 other novels I have to catch up on, and times a wasting!
Thanks so much! You definitely gave some useful tips and suggestions, several I agreed with myself. Stay tuned for the coming chapters I have about 40,000+ words waiting to be published so I'll for sure try to edit and implement changes where I can
Why is mc scared of mortal weapons? She just got but by a monster and nothing happened like hell they can do anything to her
Trauma from the previous death?
Thank you for the chapter.<3
Thanks for the Meal