April 8, 20XX

Early morning, in my classroom.

Note: Let the 4th wall breaks begin!

If you won’t give me the role...

“I’ll force you myself, author! Heck, I’m willing to bet you even used a name generator in creating my name! You didn’t even bat an eye to me!”

That’s right. It may not be obvious to non-Japanese viewers, but Kibe Takayuki is how my name is designed. Kibe, first name and Takayuki, last name. The appropriate format would’ve been the other way around!

“My complaints end here.”

In order to force the author into giving me an MC role, I have to blackmail him. Yes! By means of copyright infringement! And all I have to do is say the name of a certain company.

Oh Author, you’re toast now. You can’t compete with a western superpower.

“Dithney.”

Huh?

“Dithhhney!”

My tongue... it won’t say the word. How dare you... 

“Dithhhney! Dithhhney! Dithhhney! Dithhhney! Dithhhney!!! Walt Dithney!!!”

That ain’t gonna stop me!

Frantically looking around and searching my surroundings, I stumble upon my bag and found what might possibly be… my key to victory.

Paper! Yes, I have some in my bag! If I’m not gonna get MC, I’m taking down yer story with you! Take that!

I snatch some paper sheets and place them on top of my desk. I draw a circle, then another circle tangential to the circle to the top left.

Now for the top right! It’s the end! The mouse shall end my suffering!

Snap.

“…My pencil broke.”

I breathe in.

“AGAIN!”

From my pencil case, I take out another pencil and press it against my drawing.

Snap.

“AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN!”

Snap. Snap. Snap.

My pencil broke each time it made contact with the sheet of paper. I’ve run out of pencils.

I-Is this the end?

I rummage through my bag one more time and find hope.

It’s not over! I’m not out of options, I can win this war!

Out into the limelight, I take out my one and only gel pen. Shame, it isn’t a sign pen, but surely there is no excuse for this to break.

I will win this war!

My pen’s tip pressed against the paper and it didn’t break. With that out of the way, I snicker.

TAKE THE L!

“URAHHHHHH!!!”

…

..

.

Of course, I celebrated too early. Because once the tip of my pen brushed against my artistic masterpiece, it blotted everywhere.

“I-I should’ve cleaned its tip.”

I bang my hands upon my desk and the messy paper. I looked up at the ceiling and curse my creator.

“So you’re playing dirty, eh? Fine. I’ll let your story live, cause without it I won’t become an MC.”

My teeth grate each other to control my frustration.

“For now… HEAR THAT AUTHOR, FOR NOW!”

I repeat my statement to make it clear that I wasn’t giving up.

I can’t lose. Absolutely not.

Note: Results of Today’s Battle: Author wins.

…

..

.

April 9, 20XX

Yet again, another school day. I stroll through the hallway peacefully.

It’s the last day of the first week of school and I’m still lonely.

“Someone please acknowledge my existence,” I groan.

I immediately redact my statement since there was one particular person who did.

“Not you, Author. Curse you.”

Not paying attention to my surroundings, someone bumps into me, as a result, we both get pushed back.

Ouch...

I see the hordes of books on the floor.

Not this shit again. 

“Sorry,” the person apologized.

“Hey! What’s the big idea?! You blind?! Look where you’re going bitc-”

Eh?

I hadn’t noticed the gender of the person who hit me and once it did come to mind, it was too late.

“You didn’t have to be so blunt,” the girl said with slight tears in her eyes.

“Ah, sorry…”

She quickly grabs ahold of her books and immediately escapes the scene. The people of the hallway were murmuring about me.

“Trash…”

“Scum…”

I was struck by gloom.

Author gave me a chance, and yet he knew my mind was filled with the thought of revenge.

Anger took over my body.

To trick me and deceive me. To embarrass me and mock me. That just crosses the damn line.

I see the window panes. I pry them open and yell to the heavens from above, hoping that my scummy creator could hear my voice.

“Huh?! Do you think this is funny you piece of shit?! You mustn’t have gotten enough love from your parents to pick on a person, eh?!”

Note: Haha.

 

That’s it.

“YOU REALLY WANT A PIECE OF ME?! YOU’LL GET IT, ALRIGHT.”

Just for you. I’ll make this an unbearable mess. I’ll drive your readers away.

“I’m bringing down this story. If I can’t have that role, no one can.”

…

..

.

Outside of my classroom, there I lay.

I spot a classmate of mine surrounded by girls, one of them clinging tight to his arms, rubbing her busty chest and the other two talking with him near the door.

Perfect. It’s the Rom-com Protagonist. I’ll ruin his story by barging in and saying nonsense that the readers and watchers won’t bother to read and I’ll make it vulgar and loud!

I snicker.

Absolutely devious. I would love to see the look on his face when no one cares about his story, especially at the disgust of the viewers.

“Kazu-kun! Would you like dinner? A bath? Or… wa-ta-shi~☆ ?” the clinging girl asks the Rom-com protagonist.

“Do not tarnish Tamaki-kun’s given name, Morine Emiko-san,” the other girl to his left snorts.

“Heheheh, it’s Kazuhiko-kun for me,” the girl to his right replies.

“What are you saying, Morine-san? We are in school, you shouldn’t say that, so openly,” Tamaki Kazuhiko, the Rom-com protagonist comments.

“Why shouldn’t I? Hmph!” Morine Emiko asks with a pout.

Having enough of their nonsense, I decide to call out to them.

“Hey!”

“Aw, don’t be like that, Emiko-san. I’ll give you sweets later if you behave,” Kazuhiko offered.

But they don’t seem to hear me clearly, so I call out to them again.

“HEY!”

“YAY!!!” Emiko cheers.

Being straight out ignored, eh. Wait ‘till they get a load of this.

With no regard for personal space, I grab Kazuhiko’s shoulders. He finally turns his attention to me.

“Wh-Whoa! Wh-When did you get here?” he stutters.

I begin my rant.

“Can I just say that you’re the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever heard, and then you are a dense motherfucker, can you just shut up, people like you disgust me the most, people like you make me want to drop dead cause of always saying ‘I didn’t know you loved me,’ when they keep clinging to you unnaturally, are you that braindead? Drop dead, oh, and you aren’t that handsome, you know? I’ve seen better faces than you, yet scum like you get the attention, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, don’t you dare talk to me-”

“H-Hey, chill down for a minut-” Emiko interrupted.

However, I pay her no mind and proceed with my diss.

“Don’t touch me, don’t even look at me, oh am I taking up your precious time for ‘Character Development’, that’s nonsense! I hate you, I despise yo-”

One of the girls interrupts me.

 “I can’t understand anything you’re sayi-”

But who cares about her? So I proceed with my rant.

“Shut up! Don’t say anything. We all know the readers and watchers hate you and despite all that for some reason the girls still love you, I hate you and the Author, both of you are so unoriginal, and then for some reason, girls out of nowhere appear again for ‘plot development’ and in the end, you just prolonged and milked your series and wasted their time when their best girl doesn’t win, I’m getting tired of using words that make sense so the rest would just be filled of curses. Fuck you! Bullshit! Curse you! Motherfucker! Asshole!”

The other girl suggests to them, “Just let him finish, this is getting nowhe-”

“Bastard, idiot, baldy-

- Please excuse this intermission for the safety at the viewer’s discretion -

- For the credibility of the series, his words will be censored -

- I sincerely apologize for this announcement -

- As payment, here is a cute kaomoji (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ -

- We now return to the story… -

Huff. Puff. Huff.

“I, haah, did it, haah~”

They were quietly standing there.

Guess I made things awkward. 

Having pushed my lungs to its absolute limit, I continuously cough and fall to my knees. I wheeze and gasp for air.

Water! I need water!

I plead weakly.

“Watuh, w-a-tuh, plis.”

I uttered gibberish as I pant. I’m almost out of breath.

Well, this is embarrassing.

I tried to meet their gazes, but no one dared to. They all looked away from each other. I muster the courage to ask one more time for my needs.

Gulp.

“Somebody gimme water, please!”

Ring. Ring.

The school bell rings, signifying the end of break.

“H-Hey! W-Would you look at the time! I guess it’s time to go back to class,” Uchiyama says as a blatant excuse.

“Y-Yeah, we’re gonna back to class now...” Kazuhiko states awkwardly.

The girls nodded with him and they went inside the classroom at the same time.

Wheeze.

“Pleaseeee, have mercy...”

Cough. Wheeze.

What was I doing again? 

Note: Results of Today’s Battle: Author wins. Yes, this is a Love is War reference.

To be continued…

END OF EPISODE 3