Chapter 12:

　　"You know, resurrection isn't literal. Even in our world, dead people die. There's a difference between 'you may now re-participate in battle' and 'congratulations, we have successfully reversed the flow of time and causation.' It's just the name of our spell." Leia leaned over me with an angry face with her hands in balls that rested their backsides on her hips.

　　"Are you listening to me? Are you paying attention to the things I am saying? I am telling you that just because I can cast healing circle, nurse, resurrection, recover, or whatever the hell you thought you could rely on, if you die, it's all over. Zip. Poof. Kablooey!" Leia simulated each horrendous death with arm motions.

　　"Unn." I said shakily, laying in bed and staring at a ceiling I didn't know.

　　"Now are you going to tell me what fool brain-dead date ends up with you unconscious and without a pulse? What did you do, skydiving together without a parachute?" Leia asked.

　　"So this isn't the after-after-life, where I'm lectured by Leia forever and ever?" I asked groggily.

　　"I'm telling you these things for your own good." Leia planted a staff onto the floor. "If it's a wild beast, I'll go hunt it down. And if it was a wild wife, I'll hunt her down too. And if you became a wolf and tried to gobble her up and this was just the natural result then I'll hunt you down right here!"

　　"I tripped and fell." I lamely sat up out of bed. Sure enough, with the power of magic, no matter how horrendous the injuries, I was already back to full health and stamina and ready to jump right back into the fray. It was truly bizarre considering how weak and helpless I had felt before waking up here.

　　Leia had veins popping out on her head and I seriously started to wonder if she would be okay healing herself from an aneurysm. "Fine, don't tell me. I'm just your wife who saved your life. Your life wife. I'm sure you have more important things to be attending to."

　　"That's about right." I nodded and put my hand on her shoulder. "Thanks. I didn't want to die. This is where it's supposed to all begin. You did really, really great." Then I left the hospital in search of the girl who both literally and figuratively put me there.

　　After wandering circles around town and then the outskirts of town, down nature trails and along the beach, I gave up as night fell and sat down in a deep melancholy for dinner. It may be that Cure Flora no longer wished to see me ever again. She was probably on the other side of the world now, determined to fight it out as a lone hunter-gatherer with eternal youth. I couldn't imagine how dull and lonely a path such as that would become. Strangely enough I was more worried about her than what had just happened to myself.

　　"Christopher-san, if there's anything you'd like to talk about, I'd be willing to listen." Wendy had walked over to my chair and was standing over me, her two hands balled into fists over her chest to summon courage.

　　"Thanks, Wendy." I patted her long straight blue hair on her head. "You're my favorite but we've never even talked yet, have we?"

　　A collective gasp went around the room, rippling outwards and outwards to the ends of the table. I was so out of it that I didn't notice, and rose to put my half-eaten plate of food away.

　　Wendy was blushing a furious red and no longer in a state to talk but I didn't notice that either, and started walking to my room to rest in peace. When did I go wrong? Was it at the very beginning, or could I have done something differently along the way?

　　I noticed as I walked through the long mansion corridor that the door to Flora's room was on its way to mine, so on a whim I tried knocking on it.

　　"What is it?" A voice muffled by a pillow replied.

　　I was so shocked that I didn't know if I should burst out laughing or treat this with the gravitas the scene demanded.

　　"I'm not hungry." A dispirited voice followed up.

　　"Haruka. Thanks for saving my life. That's all I wanted to tell you." I said through the door.

　　". . .Pretty Cure aren't killers." An even more depressed voice eventually responded.

　　"Okairi." I said.

　　"Tadaima." She said. And that was enough for me so I walked the rest of the way to my bedroom singing Hallelujah to myself in my head. Thank God. No really, thank God. It was going to be alright.

* * *

　　"We need a name for the shrine, and preferably a guardian deity's name for who exactly is inhabiting it." Kagome walked into the mayor's office wearing her high school girl outfit and age, glossy black hair trailing out behind her.

　　"How about the 'Marry Them All and Let God Sort Them Out' jinja?" I offered.

　　"OSUWARI!" Kagome shouted.

　　For a moment I cringed in panic but nothing happened. Come to think of it, it's not like I'd ever been cursed by the old crone.

　　"And what do you mean Wendy is your favorite? OSUWARI." Kagome came at me from a completely different angle.

　　"Huh?" I said.

　　"If you're going to feign ignorance -- OSUWARI. And dying on me while I wasn't even there to protect you -- OSUWARI. And when is my turn for a date -- OSUWARI!" Kagome pounded on my desk.

　　"Weren't we discussing shrine names?" I asked helpfully.

　　"You met God, unlike us. So at least tell me her name. Who am I supposed to be worshiping?" Kagome sat down in a chair in exasperation, clutching her forehead.

　　"Umm. . .Hmm. . .did she tell me her name, or didn't she?" I tried to remember. Even when I had my near death experience, she didn't show up to greet me, which was kind of scary. Like there were no second chances or something. "Oh!" I clapped a fist into my palm. "This is a quote from Her mouth directly. 'Cute is Justice.'"

　　"So the Goddess 'Cute' of 'Justice' shrine." Kagome tapped her lips. "Unn. Okay, we'll go with that. See you later, Christopher."

　　"Cute-sama huh?" I mused. It had a nice ring to it. Okay, Cute-sama was the name of the one true God. She really had been good to me, so I should make an offering soon. Only we still didn't have any money. We had an offering box but so far nothing to put in it. It was probably fine, since we weren't buying anything from each other anyway. Wait, couldn't I borrow some change from Louise? I'm sure Cute-sama preferred offerings in yen anyway.

　　Wait, couldn't we ask Louise for enough yen to circulate between ourselves and solve the currency issue, such as it was, once and for all? I guess I had said we shouldn't be dependent on Earth for anything but currency was simply a store of value. It could be seashells for all that it mattered so why not yen?

　　The tavern could then start charging for the rarity, quantity, and labor time to cook up the ingredients, which would be a big help for them. They also had a register that was gathering cobwebs so far so I really needed to step on that.

　　"Mirajane," I buzzed my secretary in.

　　"Yes, oh-sir-Wendy-is-my-favorite?" Mirajane walked in with a sweet smile.

　　"Did I really say that?" I asked, feeling two was getting to be a pattern.

　　"Oh yes, quite clearly, in front of the whole gathered dinner audience." Mirajane explained.

　　"Cute-sama damn it." I sighed. It must have been while I was thinking of Haruka Haruno. It's not like I could take it back. Pictures of Wendy from every angle, in every outfit, in every conceivable pose filled up about 10% of my hard drive. But I had never wanted to hurt the other 99's feelings.

　　"Is that a new phrase you're trying to get to catch on? Because it sounds pretty awkward and stupid." Mirajane helpfully opined.

　　"Putting Wendy aside," I pantomimed picking up a box, moving it leftwards and then putting it back down in the air. "The God who gave us all life, you all for the first time and me for my second, Her name is Cute. And the shrine's name is Justice. I guess you should spread that around."

　　"Mmhmm." Mirajane put a note in her tablet.

　　"But more importantly, could you requisition a supply of yen coinage from Louise and use it to create a market economy? Especially for the tavern, they've been wanting to set prices and use their register for a while now. We can give everyone a citizen's dividend to begin with but not large enough that they can spend crazily and steal away everyone's time."

　　"Yes, Mayor Wendy-is-my-favorite. So a market economy and a citizen's dividend. Will that be all for the evening, sir Wendy-is-my-favorite?" Mirajane asked stiltedly.

　　"I know who my least favorite wife is right now." I glowered.

　　"What a coincidence, I know who my least favorite husband is too." Mirajane smiled and left the room.

　　"Sakura Mamiya, it's time to revolutionize our entire village system from the ground up. Oh, and the name of our Creator is Cute-sama -- apparently. On the word of a very untrustworthy source. Could you spread the news across town?" Mirajane asked sweetly.

　　"I'd love to." Sakura Mamiya stood up to leave. "So Wendy was his favorite, huh?" She mused in a voice that managed to reach all the way to my ears, despite not having a single note of judgment or anger in it, as she left City Hall.

　　Was it really okay to give such vague orders as 'revolutionize the village system' madame secretary? My eyes and mouth gave a screwy look of frustration.

　　"Mirajane, what has our lord mayor done without even consulting me?" Kuon asked from her desk.

　　"He wants for Louise to share some yen with us, distribute it equally as a citizen's dividend each month, and then let people purchase each other's labor within reason over the course of the month. So if people want books from the studio, food from the tavern, good health or tuition for school they'll have to start prioritizing."

　　"A good thing Mayor Wendy ended up getting a full heal from the hospital the day before this plan is instituted. Is this sufficient evidence for impeachment, do you think?" Kuon asked. "It might finally be the age of Queen Kuon."

　　No no no no no. And wait, now it's been abbreviated to me being Wendy instead of even liking her?

　　"Isn't it a good thing when our good for nothing Mayor Wendy actually tries to do something for the village?" Mirajane replied sweetly.

　　I can hear you. Aren't you making sure I can hear both of you?

　　The door opened and Yuuhi Katagiri entered the premises. "Darling, are you finally giving us money?" She walked up to my desk.

　　I have a lieutenant and a secretary you know, don't just walk up to the mayor's desk and start talking.

　　"I just realized how easy it would be. I guess I've been thinking about my dates too much. We could have done this from the beginning." I apologized.

　　"So you finally realized." Yuuhi seemed to want to tap dance. "Autarky sounds great but it's always the businesses who suffer."

　　"The little people like you, huh?" I smiled and tousled her ash gray hair. "If only a mayor's eyes could stretch to the limits of his demesne. . ."

　　"We're across the street from you, you can smell our food." Yuuhi grabbed my hand and bit with just a bit of pressure. "Come over, I'll cook you something myself in thanks for the new law."

　　"No thanks. I don't want Sakura to have to Appear the entire store up from scratch again." I turned her down.

　　"Just come over and sit with me then." Yuuhi begged. "You never look my way. It's always 'I love you I love you' and then 'go to your room, I'm busy.'"

　　I never said that though? Well, it was fine. At least now I didn't have to listen to my evil coworkers.

　　"Sorry everyone, my wife has come to fetch me and says she's lonely, so we'll have to call it an early day." I took my invisible hat and invisible coat from the invisible hatrack and coat hanger and closed up shop in a self-important manner.

　　"heehee," Yuuhi grabbed my arm and pulled it between her humble mounds.

　　"Goodnight, darling." Kuon replied with a fully erect panther tail and a smile with upturned eyes.

　　Maybe I haven't been paying enough attention to Kuon either? Give me a break, there's 100 of you. . . I walked out the door thinking dark thoughts.

* * *

　　When I entered the tavern there wasn't the usual crowd of ten or twelve girls. It seemed more like 90. Even Kotori was curled up in a ball sleeping in the corner. Oi oi, if you're going to attend a gathering is there really any point if you're just going to sleep through it?

　　There was a sudden pop and streamers flying through the air to strew all over me as a couple of flying girls, Dream and Lemonade, unrolled a banner and held it floating near the banisters.

　　"Christopher, congratulations on your recovery!" Everyone shouted.

　　"Everyone." I smiled, a sudden rush of happiness that people were actually thinking about me. I really was loved by this many girls, wasn't I?

　　Then the girls dropped the first banner to reveal a second in all capital letters.

　　"Christopher, congratulations on the new vote total: 100-0!"