The Winchesters were reunited with Jessica. Sheriff Devins was laid down on the couch Jessica was resting on. Dean considered tying him up, but given the injuries Jessica inflicted on him, it would be a miracle if the aging man could walk again. Bill stared at his childhood friend. No one knew what he was thinking.
Sam and Dean had a brief conversation with Jessica in another room.
“What were you doing back there, Jess? You almost killed the man!”
It was Dean who had the accusations to throw around.
“You should be glad I didn't,” Jessica replied with equal force. “he shot me. Six times.”
“Wow! Are you alright?” Sam knew he should be mad, but he couldn’t help but be concerned.
“He was a terrible shot.” Jess lied, again. “Then again, none of this would have happened if you two handled him nicely!”
“He pulled the gun on us when we brought up Peter! What could we do?” Dean protested. “Now, we just need to keep them safe until the dam falls. I’ll go pick up Andrea and Luke. Sam, you wanna come with me?”
“Actually, you should go by yourself.” Sam’s eyes were trained on Jessica. “I need to talk to Jess.”
Dean nodded slowly before leaving the room. He knew the two weren’t going for another love session. Whenever Sam had this certain look on his face, he was being dead serious.
Finally, the room belonged to the couple and the couple only.
“Jess,” Sam tried to find the best way to word it. “I think you need to take some time off hunting.”
Jess suddenly started laughing as if Sam just said the most hilarious thing in the world. She laughed on and on until she suddenly halted. Her eyes glared at Sam in disbelief.
“Really? You want me to stop hunting? I just started!”
“Not stop. Just pause it for a while.”
“You’re the one that dragged me into this in the first place!”
“And that is something I sincerely regret.”
Jessica tossed her arms up in frustration.
“Really? You want to bench me? Look at you boys! You’re clueless without me! Last time...ok, I admit I didn't do much last time, but with this Peter! I’m the one that found out the connection between the victims! I even found out the name Peter! Without me, you two would still be wondering cluelessly in the motel room right now!”
Sam held his hands out in reassurance.
“No one is suggesting you are not helpful, Jess, but don’t you think you are in a weird place? How long have you been exposed to hunting? Several days! And now you are charging in the front like a mad bull!”
“That’s good! I’m being brave!”
“Look, Jess, I don’t know if you know this, but one thing associated with fear is acclimation.”
“I’m not afraid!” Jessica protested. Afraid? She was the last person that should be afraid!
“Listen to me, Jess, please! Acclimation happens when you are repeatedly exposed to danger, and eventually, the fear caused by that danger disappears. Guess what, Jess? If you enjoy that adrenaline rush so much, then you will keep getting yourself into more and more danger just to get that same feeling!”
“Oh god…” Jessica growled as she closed her eyes in frustration. “why are we even having this conversation?”
Sam knew exactly why.
“Please don’t tell me you haven’t felt things going wrong with you, Jess! You jumped in and saved Will Carlton without a second thought! You even charged against an armed sheriff and almost beat him to death! You could’ve gotten yourself killed! And,” He hesitated slightly. “and since the night you met the Demon, you were a lot more aggressive in the sack.”
“Please tell me you’re not complaining!”
“I’m not…but that’s not the point. You have sworn more since you started hunting than you have ever done since I met you. My point is, I know what you’re going through! I have seen it in a lot of new hunters. Guess what? Those that didn't adjust all ended up dead!”
“I’m not gonna end up dead!”
“How do you know?”
“Well…” The last sense of logic in Jessica’s head prevented her from shouting out all about Killian.
Silence befell the room as both tried to pull themselves from the heat of the conflict. That was when Will suddenly burst into the room.
“I dozed off, and when I woke up, my dad’s gone! And he took the Sheriff!”
“Mr. Carlton! Don’t do this!”
By the time Sam, Jessica, and Will got down to the dock, Bill Carlton was already at the lake. Being pulled along was Sheriff Devins. The sheriff was much stronger than Bill, but now, he was barely conscious. Resisting was just impossible.
Jessica had to admire the strength of a determined man. It was that strength that allowed an old, beaten down man like Bill Carlton to move faster and carry more weight than he ever could in the past decade.
Hearing Sam and Jessica, Bill turned around to face them. A resolved look on his face.
He only said three words before proceeding.
“This ends now.”
“No!” Will screamed. He already realized what his father was going to do.
Sam charged forward, but it was already too late. Bill turned around and shoved Devins into the lake before jumping into the dark lake himself.
To some, dying was easier than living tormented.
Jessica had to admit Sam’s determination. Lakes were dangerous. Lakes with vengeful spirits were deadly. Lakes with vengeful spirits at night? Well, you might as well shove a gun down your throat and pull the trigger.
But the Winchester took the dive either way.
With Killian’s help, Jessica could see Devins has sunk already, and an invisible hand has grabbed onto Bill’s leg. That she could live with. After all, Devins shot her, and Bill made the choice himself. She would never kill the man, but if he wanted to die willingly for his past sins and to save his family, then so be it.
What she couldn’t live with was when the invisible hand reached for her Sammy.
“That’s just greedy!” She yelped and took a nose dive down the freezing lake. Her eyes turned red, keeping the water out and allowing her to see her boyfriend.
Peter tried to stop him, but the water under his control went back to normal as soon as they touched Jessica’s body. Finally, the spirit had no choice but to settle with his two killers. The alternate choice was nothing.
Jessica dragged Sam back ashore. Beside her, Will was still in tears, but she was done with it. She simply knelt down beside Sam.
“You think I’m losing it, Sammy? You think I should go? Fine! I’ll go! Just don’t come crawling back to me!”
She turned and started walking back to the motel. Sam called out behind her, something about showing her to a hunter he and Dean knew so she could be protected from Yellow-Eyes’ assassins, but she wasn’t listening.
Screw Yellow-Eyes. Screw them all.
Jessica ran straight back to her motel room. She has never been more glad that she and the Winchesters got separate rooms. She was halfway through packing her bags silently before she suddenly snapped.
Her suitcase was slammed into the wall. She grabbed onto a wooden chair and broke it into pieces against her knee.
The ravaging went on for a full minute. By the time Jessica was done, the room was completely in ruins. Finally, Jessica laid back on the bed.
Killian quietly sealed off the room so no one would come in to investigate the noise.
Finally, Jessica turned to the only man she could trust.
“Kil, what is wrong with me? How did things come down to this?”
Killian sighed.
“Simple. You are frustrated. You started hunting, thinking you would be the heroine of a Mary Sue story. You would charge in front, take out all the monsters, and everyone else would be cheering behind you. The people you saved would be thanking you for saving their lives. You expected Sam and Dean to follow you around like lovesick puppies, marveling your every move.”
“That’s not true…” Jessica’s voice trailed off as she struggled to find a counterargument.
“And that was what happened at Black Water Ridge. There was some trouble, but in the end, you stepped in and saved the day, and even though only one person saw it, you still got the respect you wanted.”
“But here, you were no longer the goddess of war. You were just another hunter who had to navigate her way through countless obstacles to find the truth, obstacles that I can’t help with. In the end, it wasn’t you that saved the day, but an old man who you looked down upon. That makes you feel useless and frustrated. That frustration is building up in your heart. If you don’t tackle it, it will blow up one day.”
Jessica growled under her voice. Her words were disorganized. Then again, when have you ever seen an emotionally unstable person speaking paragraphs and paragraphs with proper logic and syntax?
“Sam wanted me to stop hunting...how could he? This is betrayal!”
“Unfortunately, this is reality,” Killian replied quietly. “Sam and Deam aren’t characters in a book. They have their own thoughts and concerns, and from what Sam saw, you are on the edge. He did what he thought would be the best for you.”
Jessica quietly stretched her arms out on the bed.
“I am so lost, Kil. What should I do?”
“My advice? Find out what you really want, listen to your heart.”
“What?”
“Well, if you really want love, then you should go back to Stanford for a few weeks and pretend like you’re going back to normal. When the Winchesters inevitably come back to you again, you go with them to hunt, but you have to work hard to keep your secret.”
“And if you really want fame and glory, then keep doing whatever you’re doing right now. Charge in with your powers blazing. I can deal with at least 90% of the monsters you face. The rest shouldn’t be invincible either. Just go be the heroine, but keep in mind, not everyone will adore you. A lot of people will be scared of you, the Winchesters likely included.”
“If you want peace? Fine. That’s the easiest. Go back to school. You can live through a normal life, occasionally going out and beating the crap out of monsters you come across. Unless the world ends, you’ll be fine.”
“But if you want to save people, to really protect the innocent, then I suggest you start working by yourself. Following the Winchesters will only hinder you. Go alone. Act alone. Well, I’ll always be with you, but that is the most efficient way for you to help people. Of course, you’re no longer going to get to sleep with your pretty boyfriend, not that I’m complaining.”
Jessica nodded slowly at the four clear paths set out before her. Each and every one of them was a viable path if she chose it. She knew this was more than any choice the rest of the world had. Whatever option she went with, she knew she and her family would always be safe.
Suddenly, she went back to a question she has been wondering about since childhood.
“Why are you helping me, Kil? I mean, I know we have been together for 15 years, but, I mean...you are pretty much a god! Isn’t there more things for you to do than attend to a bitchy college girl?”
“To be fair, I wouldn’t call you bitchy, but I do like the god part.” Killian joked in return. He was glad to see Jessica has got some of her snarkiness back. This was a really good sign.
“You’re not answering my question, Kil.” Jessica pushed on.
“Well,” Killian really didn't know what to say. “you will find out why eventually, but I can promise you one thing. I mean no harm to you or your family or anyone you care about.”
That was true. Sort of.
Jessica nodded slowly.
“In that case…”
She held her hands out into the air and stared at them. Suddenly, red energy formed around her hands.
“Is it really necessary? Spend my energy to make yourself look cool...in front of me? You know we’re the only ones here, right?”
“Please be quiet.”
“Sorry. Continue.”
Jessica lit up her hand again in the cool-looking crimson glow.
“What do I really want? Hmmm...protecting the innocent sounds like quite a cause.”
With the special effects in place, her decision was made.
