Emily's time in Limbo was quite a wild ride. After Krockman had left, she and the other girls continued their dinner, hitting the bar afterwards. And just as soon as her night started, Emily found herself back in her bed in Seattle. As she groggily stared up at her ceiling, Emily wondered to herself, "Oh man, what a night. How did I get back here?" As she was wondering this, she heard a voice reply, "Yeah, that would be me, thank you." Looking up, Emily's gaze cleared as she saw the glowing blue eyes of Roquella staring down back at her. 

"Oh god!" Emily shouted as she bolted upright. "Roquella! Why are you in my bedroom?!" "I already told you, I brought you and the others back to your home after our night out," Roquella answered. "I would've left your room, but after I got you into bed, you used my boobs as a pillow, and... well, you just looked so peaceful." Staring at the lost soul in confusion, Emily asked, "So you just stayed in my room watching me the whole night?" "Well I didn't want to wake you," Roquella explained. "Besides, there's another reason why we're here." "I'm sorry, we?" Emily asked. "Yeah, me, Tom, Tanooka Joe, Terry, and Misfit," Roquella said, tossing the young drok some clothes. "Now get dressed, I'll explain more later." With that, Roquella began making her way out of the bedroom. Before the lost soul left, Emily asked, "Hey Roquella, were you uncomfortable at all last night, because of... y'know, me sleeping on your boobs?" Blushing a bit, Roquella simply replied, "Oh, um, it wasn't that big of a deal really. I thought it was kind of cute really. You know, me and Krockman were considering having a three way, but we never found the right person for it. If you're interested, maybe I can talk to Krockman about it." With that, Roquella left with a wink and walked out of the room, leaving Emily to cringe at the thought of having sex with Krockman. 

After getting dressed, Emily walked into her living room, only to be met by the sight of Roquella, Misfit (who seemed older than before), Tom, Terry and Tanooka Joe sitting around. "Hey guys... Uh, what's going on? Where's Krockman?" Emily asked nervously. "He's out on other business at the moment," Misfit answered with a smile. "In the meantime, we have our own business. There's going to be a talent show here in Seattle, and Krockman wants us to enter. I intend to enter it as a magic act. Also, I kind of need to stay out of the house for awhile. Bathory found out about a prior liaison I had with a hooker, and she's... not taking it well)." "Really?" Emily asked, disregarding Misfit's affair (though, having met Bathory, she felt it was probably justified). "I mean, that's nice and all, but I never thought you were into that sort of whimsical crap." Looking offended, Misfit retorted, "Not into it? My dear, what exactly did you think I was before I died?" "I don't know," Emily replied. "A bookkeeper?" "A bookkeeper!?" Misfit shouted, utterly mortified. "My dear, I'll have you know I was something far more dignified than a bookkeeper! I was a circus clown." Taken back by the lost soul's weird level of pride at being a clown, Emily could only say in reply, "Um... oooookay." 

"Right then, let's get started, shall we?" Misfit said as he steepled his fingers. "Emily, you and the others head down to rec center where the show's being held and let them know I'm entering the show. As for me, I will be practicing my performance in the mean time." "Do not worry, sir," Terry replied in a serious monotone. "We'll have this matter taken care of immediately." Smiling, Misfit said proudly, "Excellent! I'll see you when the job is done." With that, Misfit left the room, leaving the others to talk amongst themselves. Noticing Terry, Emily asked, "So Terry, I feel like we haven't spent a lot of time together. I'd like to get to know you better, so... what's up?" "What is up?" Terry asked in reply, maintaining his monotone. "Well, today I had a slice of plain toast for breakfast, after which I worked on today's crossword with my wife and finally, I came here at Krockman's behest." "Oh... you're married?" Emily asked, a little unnerved by his monotone voice. "Yes, her name is Inya," Terry answered. "Krockman set us up a few months ago and we've been together since. It really is true what they say about opposites attracting, what with her serious nature and my happy go lucky view of the world." Looking at the cu sith in shock, Emily asked, "So, you're the fun one?" Without blinking an eye, Terry replied flatly, "Yes." Before she could say anything else, Emily noticed Tanooka Joe slowly shaking his head no, as if to suggest that continuing the conversation would be kind of pointless. 

"Right then," Roquella said as she got up. "Let's begin, shall we." Having said this, a large pair of tentacled wings sprouted from Roquella's back and pierced the fabric of reality, creating a portal through time and space. Staring at this, Emily stated, "You know, the rec center isn't that far from here. I could've driven us there." "Yeah, but do you really want to waste gas for such a short drive?" Roquella asked as her wings retracted back into her. "Besides, we kind of need to be there right now. It's important to be there at this exact moment." "Well, okay, but should I get Chelsea and Lana to come along?" Emily asked as the others were making they're way through the portal. "Oh no, no, no, don't do that," Roquella replied cheerfully. "We should let them sleep in. Besides, I don't think they're ready for this kind of show." Before Emily could ask what she was talking about, Roquella grabbed the young drok by the wrist and dragged her through the portal. 

On the other end of the portal, Emily found herself in a large rec center, with the beginnings of a talent show stage being prepared. Standing in front of the stage was a prissy looking man in a polo shirt and khakis. Noticing him, Roquella walked up to the man, tapped him on the shoulder and asked, "Excuse me sir, are you the one in charge of the talent show?" "Oh god, yes. I'm the one in charge of this crap fest," the man whined. "You know, this whole thing is beneath me, you know that. I mean, I'm Carter Fitsly. I was in an ad for Rocko's Autoparts store. I deserve better than being in charge of some crappy local talent show, especially one where the opening act dropped out because her water broke." "So what you're saying is that you need a new act," Roquella said with a slight hint of contempt. "Fortunately for you, I represent one of the hottest talents to ever come to Seattle: the Amazing Misfit! He's a magician, a little old, but the stuff he can do will blow your mind." Carter only looked at her with disdain, saying, "Yeah, I kind of struck out when I agreed to let the preggo open. What makes you think I'm gonna let some geezer do it?" Hearing this, Roquella only snapped her fingers, summoning Terry and Tanooka Joe to her side. "Mr. Fitsly, this Terry and Joe," she said with a wicked smile. "And with their help, I'm going to show you why we aren't going to take no for an answer." With that, Joe grabbed Carter by the neck and all four of them entered a nearby broom closet, leaving Tom and Emily alone together. 

Looking over to the drok, Tom cleared his throat a bit before asking, "So, uh, Emily, you ready for our date tonight, because I think this show is part of it." "Yeah, I suppose so," Emily said in reply. "But can I ask you something, how come my friends can't come to the show?" "Um, well, it's a special kind of show, you see," Tom explained. "Krockman wants you specifically to see it. He doesn't think Chelsea and Lana are ready to experience it just yet." Thinking this over a bit, Emily asked skeptically, "Okay, why does Krockman spend all of his time screwing others over? I mean, he's practically a god or something, right?" "Well yeah, they're all like gods, but that doesn't change the fact that they're still human," Tom explained. "This isn't just one off thing either. Throughout the ages, groups of lost souls have risen up and overthrew their respective oppressors, took their place, and became gods (that's including the Olympians, the Asgardians, even the Abrahamic God was created by the thoughts of His believers). And just like all those other gods, the Seven New Gods do what they do for the same reason: they're bored and they've got nothing better to do." "Wow, that's kind of bleak," Emily said, a little disturbed by all of this. "Doesn't that bother you?" Tom only shrugged, saying, "Take my advice, don't think about it. Trust me, every time I do, I get this weird cramp in my chest." 

As they talked, the door to the broom closet opened, revealing Roquella and the others walking back out, leaving a disheveled Carter slumped against the doorframe. "We're in and we got you two front row seats," Roquella announced triumphantly. "Seriously? That's fantastic!" Emily said cheerfully. "I know, right?" Roquella said in reply. "I'm gonna call Misfit and let him know." Pulling out her phone, Roquella dialed in Misfit's number, waited for the line to pick up, and said, "Hey Misfit, this is Roquella. Listen, we got you into the show, you're the opening act. The show starts at six. Hope you're ready." Back at the apartment, Misfit heard the message. Smiling a bit, he pulled out a picture of himself from back when he was younger and alive, dressed in his clown costume and hanging out with his friend, Jojo the Pinhead. "This is for you Jojo," Misfit said with a tear in his eye. "I hope you'll be watching from up there." 

The rest of of the day seemed to breeze by quickly till six o'clock, when the rec center seemed to come to life with the bustle of countless audience members. Emily had already seated herself in the front row while Tom was backstage with the others, trembling nervously. Noticing this, Tanooka Joe asked, "What are you shaking for? You're gonna be in the audience with Emily, aren't ya?" "Y-yeah, I'm just nervous in all," Tom explained nervously. "It's been awhile since I've been on a date, y'know." "Well Emily seems like a good one," Joe said in reply. "I don't think she's going to ditch you like your last date did." Tom only rubbed his arm, saying, "Yeah, but still..." Feeling sorry for the cait sith, Joe pulled out a flask from his pocket and gave it to him, saying, "Okay, I was worried you might feel this way, so I brought you a little something to loosen you up a bit." Eyeing the flask, Tom asked, "Uh, thanks. So what is it? Whiskey? Vodka?" "Whiskey? Vodka?" Joe said, feeling slightly offended. "Buddy, this is a home brew, and I would never waste my time brewing either of those; especially that Russian piss. No, this is fine grade sake. The pinnacle of a brewers work. A couple of swigs of this and you'll have nothing to worry about. Go ahead, try it." At Joe's insistence, Tom took a quick sip from the flask, noting the fine flavors of the sake. "Damn, that's smooth," Tom said to himself as he licked his lips. "I only deliver the best amigo," Joe replied proudly. "Nothing less will do. Now go on. Emily's waiting for you." With that, Tom tucked the flask into his pocket and went off to the audience. 

Finding Emily in the front row, Tom sat himself down beside her, saying, "Sorry I'm late. I needed to pick something up from Joe while I was backstage," Tom explained as he adjusted his blazer. "Oh, it's alright Tom," Emily said in reply. "I wasn't waiting to long. I think the show's about to start." As she said this, the pair could hear the voice of Carter Fitsly announce over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 5th annual Downtown Seattle Talent Show! Now please give a warm welcome to your host (and the only person who actually matters): the incomparable Carter Fitsly!" With that, Carter Fitsly walked out onto the stage, only to be met with a handful of clapping hands and one guy in the back shouting, "You suck!" "Right, anyway, evening folks and welcome to the show," Carter continued, unfazed by the heckling. "Now then, our act is some pathetic has been of a magician, and folks, I cannot emphasize how much of a loser this guy is. He practically crawled in here on his hands and knees and begged me to put him in the show. I tell you..." Before Carter could continue blowing smoke up his own ass, Roquella came out from backstage, pulled out a voice recorder and hit the play button, playing a recording of a sobbing Carter pleading, "Oh god, lady, I need this guy in my show! If I don't, it'll just be some drunk ventriloquist, a nearsighted knife thrower and a juggler that can't juggle more than one ball! I'm dying here!" Hitting pause, Roquella ordered, "Just announce the damn act already and stop talking of your ass liar." Completely flustered, Carter flatly said, "Uh, right... here's The Amazing Misfit." 

As the audience applauded, the curtain rose, revealing Misfit dressed in a magician’s costume, sitting in a throne and flanked by Tanooka Joe and Terry. While everyone else in the audience only saw an old magician, Emily saw Misfit for what he really was, hunchbacked, glowing white eyes, and his mouth partially opened, revealing a mismatched collection of fangs and peg-like teeth. Eyeing the audience with a meticulous gaze, Misfit got up from his throne with a cane in his hand, saying. “Good evening ladies and gentlemen. It’s an honor to be performing for you tonight. Now then, I’m certain all of you have at one point or another seen a magic act of some sort in your life, and you’ve all come to accept that magic is fake. Well folks, take into consideration that things we once considered impossible hundreds of years ago are now the norm today. It’s the changing of our standards of living that has desensitized us to magic, and that’s why I’m here: to make you all believe.” 

Having said this, Misfit pulled out a deck of cards from his pocket, shuffling them for the audience to see. “Behold a deck of playing cards,” he stated, splaying all fifty-two cards. “Common fare for magic acts, quite possibly one of the most overplayed, watered down, and predictable of tricks. Making this trick impressive again would be a real feat of magic. Well that’s exactly what you’re going to see, folks: a real feat of magic.” As he said this, he pointed towards Emily and shouted, “You!” Startled by this, Emily nervously asked, “Who, me?” “Yes you,”Misfit ordered as he helped the young drok up onto the stage. “I need you to do the most cliched of all things: pick a card. Any card.” Playing along, Emily pulled out one of the cards and saw that it was the Ace of Spades. Putting the card back into the deck, Emily returned to her seat, noticing that Tom was taking a large swig from a flask. Shuffling the deck a bit, Misfit handed the deck to Terry, ordering, “Terry, Tanooka Joe, take your positions. Roquella, play the violin.” Grabbing a violin, Roquella began tuning it as Terry and Joe stood across from each other. Eyeing the two, Misfit composed himself before shouting, “Begin.” With that, Terry and Joe began tossing cards between each other as Roquella played the violin. As the music grew more frantic, so to did the pace of the card tossing, all while Terry maintained a bored, stoic look on his face. The act finally ended when Joe opened his mouth wide, letting the cards be thrown down his waiting gullet, closing mouth with an audible snap once the last of the cards were consumed. Getting up from his throne, Misfit walked toward the front of the stage and asked, “Now, I know what you’re all thinking, that the card the young lady picked will probably be on her person somewhere. That’s usually how these tricks go, right? Well folks, that isn’t the case this time around.” Pointing towards a goblin in the back, Misfit asked, “Excuse me sir, but would mind checking your front pocket?” Checking his pockets, the goblin was surprised to see a playing card tucked in his pants pocket. “My dear, what was the card you picked from the deck?”Misfit asked Emily. “It was the Ace of Spades,” Emily answered. Nodding to this, Misfit turned back to the goblin and asked, “And you sir, what is the card that you found in your pocket?” Looking at the card, the goblin shook his head in disbelief as he said, “The Ace of Spades.” Amazed by this, the crowd applauded wildly at the trick. 

As the crowd cheered, Carter only scoffed, saying, “Oh come on people. You’re actually buying this crap? Anyone can do that.” As Carter continued his bitching, he looked up to see Tanooka Joe was glaring down at him. “Uh, can I help you?” Carter asked disdainfully. Joe only kept glaring and replied, “You’ve got thirty-two teeth in your mouth. You wanna leave the world with sixteen, then keep talking.” Seeing this, Misfit interjected, “Actually, this little windbag maybe of some use to us. Bring him center stage.” Doing as the lost soul said, Joe grabbed Carter by the arm and dragged him in front of Misfit’s throne. Glancing down at the blow hard, Misfit looked towards the audience, saying, “Contrary to what you might believe, I must agree with Mr. Fitsly here. Card tricks, even those are as complex as the one I performed, can be rationalized and taught. It is a matter of logic that separates the magical and the mundane. But if I maybe so bold as to ask, what exactly is logic?” Seeing the confused looks on the audience’s face, Misfit continued, “Very well then, I’ll tell you what logic is. Logic, like religion, is a concept that we invented to explain a strange and terrifying world. However, while religion is based on faith, logic is based on observing patterns. If X, then Y. That’s simple enough, wouldn’t you agree? But what happens when you see something that defies all rationalization and logic? Well folks, that’s what we in the industry refer to as magic, and now, with the help of this whiny, little slob, we’re going to show you genuine magic. Now then, what’s the most illogical thing we can do to this man?” As the crowd wondered about this, Tom (who was slightly buzzed at this point) shouted, “Why don’t you tear his head off!?” Picking up on this, the audience joined in, shouting for Carter’s decapitation (much to the horror of Emily and the lost souls). Stunned momentarily by the indifference of the audience, Misfit only nodded his head in agreement and said, “Very well then, so be it. Joe, take a little off the top.” With that Joe only smiled as he cracked his knuckles before charging at Carter, punching his head clean off in one blow and sending it flying into Emily’s lap, a geyser of blood erupting from the neck stump. 

Emily barely had anytime to react. One minute, she was sitting in her seat next to her slightly drunk date, the next she was holding the severed head of the host and staring into its eyes. Blinking slowly, the head slowly asked in a strained voice, “Call... an... am-bu-lance...” Naturally, Emily did the only thing any woman in this sort of situation would do: scream in absolute terror and toss the head back onto the stage. As she tossed the head away, she noticed that the world had suddenly changed, taking on a muted purple tone. Everyone around her had changed into mannequins, including Tom, Tanooka Joe, and Terry (although in the case of the last three, they also had barred windows on their chests, with a pair of glowing eyes peering out of each). However, the strangest transformation occurred with Roquella and Misfit. Roquella seemed more svelte, her skin a vibrant red with glowing blue eyes, long rabbit ears, bat wings, a scorpion’s tail, a unicorns horn and was sitting in a floating throne shaped like a cow’s head. Misfit, however, seemed more surreal, resembling a top heavy clown, his upper torso and shoulders merely candy striped spheres. Spindly limbs dangled from his body, his hands resembling cartoonish white gloves with ruffled hems. But his face... good god, his face. His face was bleached white (except for a few green and blue triangles and multi-colored liverspots), his long sausage nose was striped red and white like a candy cane, and his eyes, laced by petal-like eyelids, glowed with the multi-colored glow of countless galaxies. Even with this weirdness going on, Emily could still hear the audience panicking at the sight of their decapitated host. 

As Emily was taking this all in, she saw the transformed Roquella grab the severed head and presented it to Misfit, asking a reverberating voice, “What should we do about him? The crowd’s really freaking out right now.” Misfit only grimaced, exposing sharp, black teeth hidden behind candy apple red lips as he replied, “So, minutes ago, they were baying for his blood. Now they beg for his life, and even then, they try to rationalize it as part of the show. They only care about the spectacle rather than substance. It’s just like what happened to Jojo, made a spectacle his whole life, and even when he died a peaceful death in his sleep, the strongman and one of the acrobats severed his head and tried to sell it to some oddities museum. That’s why I killed them, Jojo deserved far better than what he got.” “I’m sorry to hear that,” Roquella said sympathetically. “Yes, I’m sorry too,” Misfit said as he drummed his fingers on his armrest. “Sorry that I actually thought this generation was actually better than my own. I suppose that’s why your boyfriend sent me here in the first place. We had an argument some time ago about how progressive his generation really was. I told him that despite their faults, people today are far more sympathetic than they were in my day and age. I realize now that no matter how much time passes, no matter how open minded people claim to be, they will always go for the spectacle, even at the expense of their fellow man. I guess there’s no point in continuing this farce.” Turning towards Tanooka Joe, Misfit ordered, “Joe, put the head  back on. I think we’ve proven our point.” With that, the mannequin-like Joe grabbed the severed head, stomped over to Carter’s lifeless body, and twisted it back onto the bloodied neck stump, bringing Carter back to life and restoring the world back to the way it was before. 

As Emily snapped back to reality, she saw the now normal Misfit standing up from his throne, saying, “And there we have it, folks. Are beloved host is back to normal, good as new. Walk it off Carter, you’ll be fine.” Carter said nothing, simply got up and staggered off stage, his eyes wide with fear and his shirt drenched in blood. “Well folks, you’ve been a lovely audience, but now it’s time for us to go,” Misfit said cheerfully as he clasped his hands. “Good night, and have a grand old time.” With that, Misfit, Roquella, Terry and Tanooka Joe left the stage without a trace. Seeing this, Tom got up shakily from his chair as he said, “Okay Emily, time to take our leave.” “Wait, don’t you want to watch the rest of the show?” Emily asked in a confused tone. Looking lazily at her, Tom replied, “Why bother? Misfit and the others proved their point, they just got orders from Krockman to head to New York City, and we still have our own date. Why waste it here?” Feeling that this was true, Emily got up from her seat and left the rec center. 

As they were walking out onto the sidewalk, Tom noticed Emily was being unusually silent. “Is everything alright, Emily?” Tom asked worriedly. “Oh, it’s nothing,” Emily answered. “It’s just that... I think we should see other people.” Looking surprised, Tom asked, “W-what? Why? Did I do something wrong? Was it the flask, because I swear, I only brought it along because Joe said it would calm my nerves.” “No, it’s not that,” Emily explained, trying not to hurt Tom’s feelings. “It’s just that something happened during the show...” “Was it the decapitation?” Tom asked. “Well, no, it’s not that (though it didn’t help),” Emily answered. “It’s more that I saw something happen when I caught the head. It was like everything around seemed fake, like everyone became mannequins, even you. Weird part was that I saw something in your chest, like a cage or something.” Looking both confused and suspicious, Tom asked, “I’m sorry, a cage in my chest?” “Yeah, and there was something peering out of it too. Even Joe and Terry had those cages. The weirdest part was that Roquella and Misfit turned into these... things, like monsters or something,” Emily continued. “I know it sounds crazy, but I’m telling you the truth.” “I see. Interesting,” Tom said, rubbing his chin as he reached into his pocket. “One more question, are you sure there’s no future in this relationship?” “Well, I’d still like to be friends with you, if it’s alright,” Emily said, trying to let Tom down easily. Nodding in agreement, Tom said with a wicked smile, “Oh that’s perfectly fine. In fact, that actually makes my job a whole lot easier.” Before Emily could say anything, Tom pulled out a stun gun and electrocuted her, sending her collapsing onto the pavement. As Emily stared up at the sky, her body limp, Tom stared down at her with an apologetic look and said, “I’m sorry it had to come to this. Just please try not to hold it against me. You have no idea what we’ve been through.”
———————

Earlier that day in Limbo, Chad was sitting outside of Krockman’s office, wondering about what he had said to him. “Is he right? Would I still be able to see my own world the same way after everything that’s happened?” he thought to himself as he sat there. “I mean, it’s not like everything’s going to be completely different, but still...” As he was thinking this over, Chad saw Calibur and Teddi making their way up the hall. “Well thank god I at least have a couple of friendly faces I can talk to,” Chad said to himself as the scraps approached. 

“Good evening, Master Chad,” Calibur greeted cheerfully. “I see you’re back to normal.” This was followed by Teddi cheerfully adding, “Hi daddy!” “Hey guys, how’s it going?” Chad asked, finally glad to see his self proclaimed protege and his pseudo daughter. “Everything’s fine sir,” Calibur answered as he held out his camera. “I got the pictures you asked for.” Realizing he had forgotten about the pictures, Chad simply replied, “Oh, um, thanks. Good job on doing that.” Looking down a bit, Calibur said, “Um, Master Chad, can we talk? It’s pretty important.” Looking concerned, Chad asked, “Um, okay. What’s up?” “Listen, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, and everything you’ve taught me, but I feel like I’m anywhere close to becoming a master,” Calibur explained. “But I think I’ve finally found someone who can help me. I’m grateful for everything you’ve taught me, but I think I need to do this. I hope you understand.” Looking at the scrap for a few minutes, Chad replied, “Well, if that’s really how you feel and if you feel like this is really what you need to do, then I guess I can’t stand in your way. You do what you feel is important.” Calibur smiled, shook Chad’s hand, and replied, “I’m glad to hear that Master Chad. I really am. I’m gonna make you proud, you’ll see.” With that, Calibur left, making his way down the hall, a beaming smile on his face all the way. As Chad and Teddi watched the scrap leave, Chad asked, “Just out of curiosity, who’s this mystery teacher he’s talking about?” “He’s going off with a bunch of weird, mutant scraps and a pig-peppermill scrap,” Teddi answered with her usual, innocent tone. Not even pretending to understand, Chad dropped the conversation (though he was curious about what a creature made from a teddy bear and the souls of the dead would consider “weird”).

As they were talking, Chad and Teddi saw two figures walking down the hall. One was Krockman, and the other was a different lost soul. He was dressed in a mauve shirt with red sleeves, jeans, and loafers. His blonde hair stood out with his shockingly pale skin, claw-like finger, scruff, black tear streaks running down his cheeks, and fangs poking out from under his lips. But his most striking features were his glowing purple eyes and a heart shaped hole running through his chest and back, the innards glowing with a golden light. Seeing the two lost souls, Teddi cheerfully shouted, “Uncle Krockman! Uncle Alucard! You’re here!” “Hello Teddi,” Krockman said with a fatherly grin. “How is everything?” “Everything’s great,” Teddi answered enthusiastically. “Daddy’s here and Calibur’s gone off with Milbert to join a bunch of weirdos.” Smirking at this, Krockman glanced over to Chad, who could only reply, “Don’t look at me. I’m just as clueless as you are about all this.” Krockman only shrugged, saying, “Oh I understand it. I’m just surprised it took Calibur this long jump on board (and disturbed that Milbert got on this early).” “Jump on board? On board of what exact... you know what? Never mind, I don’t want to know,” Chad said, wondering what the hell Krockman was talking about.  

Looking down towards Teddi, Krockman rubbed his chin before asking her, “Teddi, how long have you been here in Limbo?” Putting a paw to her chin, Teddi answered, “Um, a few days. Why?” “A few days you say, and you haven’t found your niche yet,” Krockman said with a grin. “You know what that means?” Still confused by what “niche” meant, Teddi replied, “Uh, noooo.” “It means you have to go to school,” Krockman said proudly. Looking surprised, Teddi asked, “School?” “You actually have schools for scraps?” Chad asked skeptically. “Well, scraps pretty much make up the backbone of our workforce,” Krockman explained. “However, if we can’t find an immediate place for them to work, we send them to classes to help them find their niche. Now then, come along Teddi. We have to get you to class.” “But Uncle Krockman...” Teddi whined as she hugged Krockman’s leg. Before she said anything else, Krockman interrupted in a fatherly tone, “No buts. Now come on. You don’t want to be late on your first day.” With a slight huff, Teddi grabbed Krockman’s hand and the two walked off. Before they left, Krockman turned to Alucard and said, “Hey Al, hope you’re ready for New York, cause when we get there, we’re gonna party!” With that, Krockman and Teddi left, leaving Chad and Alucard alone together.

Glancing towards the lost soul, Chad asked, “So you guys are heading to New York? What for?” “Oh we’re heading up there for some karmic retribution,” Alucard explained. “It’s sort of a bonding thing we do, plus it’ll be the first time we’ve all hung out since we settled Babel.” As he was talking, Alucard noticed that Chad was staring at his chest hole. “Excuse me, my face is up here,” Alucard stated, glaring at Chad. Realizing his mistake, Chad apologized, saying, “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s just that... you have a freaking hole in your chest.” “Oh right, I forgot. You’re a mortal,” Alucard said sheepishly. “Yeah, whatever force that transforms people into lost souls kind of gets... creative with presenting the more abstract deaths. I actually died of a broken heart, and it manifested as me... not having a heart. I don’t get it. That’s just how it works.” 
“Wow, that sucks,” Chad said sympathetically. “I didn’t think people could actually die from heartbreak.” “Well apparently you can,” Alucard replied sadly. “It’s a medical condition, stress cardiomyopathy or something like that. It happened after I saw my girlfriend get murdered, her killer slit her own throat, and realizing I was never gonna get closure.” 

Shocked by this, Chad could only say, “I’m sorry to hear that.” “Thanks, that means a lot,” Alucard said with a sigh. Glancing over at Chad, Alucard asked, “So you’re the mortal Krockman invited to live here?” “Well, ‘live’ is sort of putting a little too nice,” Chad explained. “I’d say it’s more like he invited me here to torture me.” “Yeah, did he really kidnap you?” Alucard asked. “Yes, he did,” Chad answered begrudgingly. “Right after he got me fired.” “Didn’t you work as a junior secretary?” Alucard asked, looking confused. “Hey, that was a clerical error on the businesses part!” Chad retorted. “At the time, I thought I was accepting an offer for a high paying accountant job.” Hearing this, Alucard’s face grew grim as he asked, “Oh really. Is it true you actually dumped your girlfriend just to take that job?” Looking shocked, Chad muttered, “Oh god, Krockman brought you here to beat me up, didn’t he?” “No, I actually wanted to talk to you,” Alucard replied, trying to reassure Chad. “It’s about a mutual friend of ours; y’know, Emily.” Looking concerned, Chad asked, “Emily? What about her?” 

“Well, she told me about a condition she had that made your break up a little easier for her,” Alucard explained. “You see, she... can’t have kids. She’s infertile.” “Wait, what?!” Chad asked, taken back by this sudden revelation. “Why couldn’t she just tell me the truth?” “She was worried that you would’ve broken up with her if she told you,” Alucard answered with a sigh. “Of course, seeing that you were going to dump her for that job, that point was pretty much moot.” “It’s not like I was trying to hurt her. If anything, I wanted to help her,” Chad retorted. “The thing is, growing up, my dad was always working. He was never home for me and my mom, and he literally worked himself to death trying to get a promotion that never came. After that, I promised myself that if I was ever going to marry anyone, I would at least have a fortune to my name first.” Looking at Chad, Alucard said, “Wow. Does Emily know anything about this.” “Hell no! She’d probably think I was being melodramatic,” Chad answered in a slightly disgusted tone. Hearing this, Alucard only face palmed, saying, “Okay, this is why you two are having problems with your relationship. You don’t talk about your problems.” Sighing a bit and recollecting himself, Alucard added, “Okay, I just have one more question for you. Do you still love her?” “Of course I do,” Chad answered remorsefully. “I hadn’t stopped thinking about her since I left for Los Angeles. I just wish I could go to her and tell her how I feel, tell her why I did what I did.” Nodding his head in agreement, Alucard said, “Look, I sympathize with you man, I really do; and while I’ll never be able to see my girlfriend again, you can still talk to yours. So here’s what we’re gonna do, I’m going to head to New York with the others. Until I get back, you wait for me in my music shop, and we’ll take it from there.” “I’m sorry, you own a music shop?” Chad asked, getting sidetracked. “Yeah, it’s called the Hip-Hop Albatross. I sell music from the 80s,” Alucard answered. “It’s just down the street. Head there, I’ll meet you when I get back.” With that, Alucard got up and walked off, leaving Chad by himself. As he was leaving, Alucard pulled out his phone and texted Tom, saying, “Tom, find someone 4 realm swap ritual. Doesn’t matter who.” When he had sent the text, Alucard turned back and saw that Chad had left, heading down to the store. He could not help but smile at this, feeling that he had finally helped someone for the first time in a long time. 
——————

Meanwhile, just outside the fort, Krockman and Teddi were walking hand in hand towards a little building. “There it is Teddi,” Krockman said proudly. “There’s the scrap school. Are you excited or what?” Looking up at the lost soul in a confused manner, replying, “I’m gonna go with ‘or what’.” “What do you mean ‘or what’!?” Krockman shouted in an offended tone. “Everybody’s got to go to school at some point. Scraps are no different.” “But why do I have to go?” Teddi whined. “Milbert doesn’t have to go.” “That’s because he found his niche already,” Krockman explained. “Sure he maybe an emotional wreck, and he may have ran off spiraling into an existential crisis, but he’s good at what he does.” As they reached the school building, Krockman pulled out a little baggy of pencils and markers, and said, “Now that we’re here, take this, go inside, do what Mr. Kokuban tells you, and have fun. Lolita will come and pick you up when class is over. Now then, have a good one baby bear. We all love you.” With that, Krockman bent down, kissed Teddi on the forehead, pushed her into the building, and left, satisfied with a job well done. 

Inside the school, Teddi found herself surrounded by several other scraps of various shapes and sizes. As she looked around, Teddi heard a eloquent yet gruff voice ask, “Good morning little one. Who might you be?” Looking up, she saw that it was a large  scrap formed from a chalkboard hanging from a rail system on the ceiling by a pair of spindly legs with wheel-like feet, spindly arms sprouting from the sides of the board. At the center of the board was a chalk drawing of an old man’s face eyeing the little teddy bear scrap with a dusty, watchful eye. Staring up at the older looking scrap, Teddi nervously replied, “Um, Teddi.” “Ah, you’re the new scrap Krockman told me about,” the chalkboard scrap said cheerfully. “Pleased to meet you my dear. I am Mr. Kokuban. Krockman and Kuma put me in charge of helping new scraps become productive members of society.” “Kuma?” Teddi asked, unfamiliar with the name. “He’s the leader of the Council of Enma over in the East,” Mr. Kokuban explained. “Back when I was alive, I was his high school teacher. When I died, I ended up becoming a broken soul, and rather than leaving me to rot where I fell, he transferred the shards into a chalkboard and put me in charge of teaching new scraps. Frankly, I’m actually happier now than I was teaching teenagers. Most scraps are like children and they’re always so eager to learn. Now then, go ahead and make yourself comfortable. Head to the cubbies and place your things in any free cubby you can find.” Doing as the elder scrap said, Teddi took her baggy and went over to the cubbies. 

As Teddi made her way to the cubbies, she thought to herself, “Mr. Kokuban? Where have I heard that name before?” That question was answered when she arrived at the cubbies, spying a large mushroom sitting in one of the cubbies. “A mushroom?” Teddi said to herself. “That must be one of those Toadstools of Trust that Shinkin guy was talking about. Oh well, might as well take it and find out what the next clue is.” As she reached for the mysterious fungus, Teddi felt a large hand grab her shoulder. Looking up, she saw that Mr. Kokuban was staring down at her. “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked in judging tone. Feeling nervous, Teddi answered, “I was just taking this mushroom out.” “You can’t just go snooping around in other people’s cubbies, especially if you’re stealing from them,” Kokuban scolded. “Now put your things away in an available cubby and find a morning partner at the tables.” Huffing a bit, Teddi put her baggy into an empty cubby and walked off to the nearest table. 

As she walked, Teddi saw that there was only one lone scrap sitting at the table. He resembled a pale, white haired boy dressed in red thermal underwear that only covered his torso, leaving his flimsy, blue legs exposed. The strangest feature, though, were his arms, or rather his lack there of; a blue and white striped scarf wrapped around his neck serving as limbs. He sat at the table, finger-like tassels clutching a pencil as wrote down notes. “Well, I suppose his table is good as any,” Teddi thought to herself as she sat down. When she had gotten comfortable, the scarf scrap looked up from his paper, one eye covered by a bang of white hair and a blue blush on his cheeks as he noticed her. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there,” the scrap said sheepishly. “You’re the new girl Krockman brought, Teddi right? I’m Wrappa. It’s nice to meet you.” “It’s nice to meet you too,” Teddi said halfheartedly in reply. Noticing this, Wrappa asked, “What’s the matter? You seem kind of down.” “It’s nothing,” Teddi said. “I was just trying to get that mushroom over there out of its cubby, but Mr. Kokuban won’t let me.” Looking over at the cubbies, Wrappa said, “Yeah, he’s a real stickler with his rules. Although, between you and me, I can take what I need from the cubbies without any fuss.” “Really, how do you do that?” Teddi asked, growing curious. “Well, my arms are pretty long. I’m able to reach for things without leaving my seat or without Kokuban noticing,” Wrappa explained. “If you want, I can get that mushroom for you... for a price.” Looking confused, Teddi asked, “And what might that be?” “Just a hug. That’s all I ask for,” Wrappa answered with a slight smile. “If it’s alright with you, of course.” “Oh, um, sure. I guess that’s alright,” Teddi said, surprised by the seemingly low price the scrap was offering. With that, Teddi embraced Wrappa in a tight hug and squeezed. 

It it was a strange sort of hug though. At first, Teddi’s body began to feel cold, as if the warmth was being drained from her body. However, her curiosity about Shinkin’s challenge outweighed her sense of self preservation, pushing on to maintain the hug. After a few minutes, Teddi felt Wrappa release his grip. Looking up, she saw a look of surprise on the scrap’s face. “What’s wrong?” Teddi asked in a concerned tone. “It’s nothing. It’s just that... no one’s ever hugged me that long before. People usually push me away after a few seconds,” Wrappa explained sullenly. “Well, in any case, I suppose a deal’s a deal. I’ll get that mushroom for you.” When he said this, Wrappa stretched his long scarf arm along the floor until he reached the cubbies, grabbed the mushroom and brought it back without anyone noticing. Handing Teddi the prize fungus, Wrappa said, “Here you go, just as I promised.” Taking the mushroom, Teddi smiled before noticing a note attached to the stem. Pulling the note off, she read it, noting that it said, “Meet at vent under window.” Looking around the classroom, Teddi noticed a large vent positioned underneath one of the windows. Realizing what she had to do, Teddi got up from her seat, thanked Wrappa for his help (and promised to hang out with him after class), and went over to the vent. 

As she approached the vent, Teddi noticed the distinct aroma of mildew and athlete’s foot in the air, an aroma that grew stronger as she got closer. When Teddi arrived, she tapped on the vent and asked, “Hello? Shinkin? Are you there?” As if on que, she could hear the phlegmy voice of Shinkin respond, “Hello, Shinkin’s potential new friend. How are you today?” “I’m doing fine. Thanks for asking,” Teddi answered cheerfully. “I actually made a new friend while getting the mushroom.” “Yes, this pleases Shinkin. It shows you are the type to keep promises,” Shinkin said in an oddly proud tone. “To be honest, Shinkin was worried you wouldn’t be able to pass the Trial of the Cubbies. Mr. Kokuban is very strict about his rules. Shinkin should know, because he used to be his student long ago.” “Right,” Teddi said. “Now, didn’t you say you’ll reveal the next clue once I find this mushroom?” “Yes, of course,” Shinkin answered. “But just heads up, the first four Toadstools of Truth will be split up evenly between you and Jimmy. So you only have one more toadstool to collect on your part. Now then, do you see the pretty flowerpot scrap over there at one of the tables?” Looking over at the tables, Teddi saw a scrap formed from a flowerpot, the pot forming her lower body, while her upper body was that of a little girl, only green and with a large flower in place of hair. “That’s Poppy,” Shinkin continued to explain. “She’s so pretty, and her petals smell delicious.” “I guess she is pretty and... wait, did you just say delicious?” Teddi said, only to realize what the fungus scrap had said. “P-precious. Shinkin meant precious,” Shinkin corrected himself. “That’s not important right now. What’s important is what Shinkin wants you to do.” “And that would be?” Teddi asked nervously. Without saying a word, Shinkin pushed a piece of paper through the vent, saying, “Shinkin wants you to give the pretty Poppy this letter of love. Do it and he will give you the second Toadstool of Trust.” Looking down at the letter, Teddi saw no other choice but to do as the enlightened scrap said. With that, she took the letter and made her over to Poppy. 

When she arrived, Teddi tapped the flowerpot scrap on her shoulder to get her attention, saying, “Um, excuse me? Poppy?” Turning around, Poppy noticed the little teddy bear scrap and said, “Oh, you’re the new girl aren’t you? Teddi, right? What’s up?” “I wanted to give you this,” Teddi explained, holding ou the letter. “It’s a love letter.” Looking surprised, Poppy said, “Oh, um, that’s nice and all, but I’m not really into girls, but thanks anyway though.” “What? No, it’s not from me. It’s from Shinkin,” Teddi hastily explained. “Wait, you’ve seen Shinkin, and he gave you this letter for me?” Poppy asked, her interest peaked. “I haven’t seen him around in a while. You’re sure it was him?” “Oh yeah,” Teddi answered cheerfully. “He’s orange, speaks in the third person, smells like a compost heap...” “Did he look like a giant caterpillar with mushrooms growing out of him?” Poppy interjected. “Momentarily surprised, Teddi remembered back to the ritual she and the others had seen, and assuming that Shinkin had been transformed as well at some point, answered, “Um, sure.” “Wow, I didn’t think Shinkin had complex emotions, or any emotions for that matter,” Poppy said. “So do you want it or not?” Teddi asked impatiently. “Sure, why not,” Poppy answered. “I’m kind of curious about what he has to say.” 

As Poppy reached for the letter, the two scraps were interrupted by a gruff cough. Looking up, they saw the judging eye of Mr. Kokuban glowering down at them. “And just what do you think you’re doing?” the elder scrap asked, keeping his eye on the letter. Looking up at her teacher, Teddi replied, “I was just giving Poppy this letter.” Shaking his chalk face disapprovingly, Kokuban stated, “Young lady, we have rules in this classroom, one of which is that no one passes notes during class. Now, we have a strike system here. If you break the rules three times, you’ll be put in timeout for the rest of class. I let you off with a warning back at the cubbies, but this time, I won’t be so lenient. You are going to receive strike one, and you will read the letter to the whole class.” “What!?” Teddi shouted in protest. “But I didn’t write it! This isn’t fair!” “I’m sorry, but rules are rules,” Kokuban retorted sternly. “Now read.” Seeing no point in arguing further, Teddi unfolded the letter and prepared to read. 

Looking at the letter, Teddi was a little disturbed by what it said. “Well Teddi. We’re waiting,” Kokuban said, tapping his fingers against his side. Looking around at the small crowd of scraps that had gathered around to hear her, Teddi nervously replied, “Um, before I read this, I just want everyone to know that I didn’t write this.” Clearing her throat, Teddi began reading the letter, “Shinkin likes the pretty Poppy, prettiest flower he can see.” “Wait, Shinkin wrote this?” Kokuban asked in a surprised tone. “Strange. I haven’t seen him since Krockman and Kuma took him away. Anyway, keep reading.” Looking back down at the letter, Teddi continued, “Shinkin likes Poppy’s hair, he also likes to smell her... chair.” “What?” Kokuban said, a little disturbed by what he just heard. “That’s... a little weird.” Suddenly, one of the scraps in the crowd shouted, “Maybe he likes to smell the farts!” To this, everyone burst into laughter, except for Teddi, Kokuban and Poppy (all of whom were mortified). Looking nervously at the letter, Teddi asked, “So, should I keep reading or...” “No, no, that’s quite alright,” Kokuban replied sympathetically. “I think you’ve suffered enough. To be frank, I think we all have.” Turning to the crowd, Kokuban added, “Okay everyone, back to what you were doing. Shows over.” With that, the crowd dispersed, leaving only Teddi and Poppy behind. 

As Teddi and Poppy stood there, they both looked at the letter. “Wow, that was... horrible,” Poppy said as she rubbed the back of her neck. “Yeah, I’m really sorry about that,” Teddi apologized. “I didn’t know I was going to have to read it out loud.” “Well, It’s flattering in a weird, creepy way. I can tell you that much,” Poppy said. “In fact, do you mind if I hold onto it to read later?” Looking surprised, Teddi asked, “Seriously? But it’s really creepy and stuff.” “I know, but it’s like one of those trashy romance novels,” Poppy explained. “It’s weird and confusing, but you kind of want to see how it ends. You know what I mean?” Nodding in agreement, Teddi said in reply, “I guess you’re right. Okay then, you can have it.” Giving the letter to the flowerpot scrap, Teddi made her way back to the vent to talk to Shinkin. 

When she arrived, Teddi knocked on the vent and said, “Okay Shinkin, I did what you asked me to. Can you give me the mushroom?” When no one answered, she knocked again, saying, “Shinkin, I delivered the letter.” At that moment, Shinkin shouted in a distressed manner, “Shinkin noticed!” Taken back by this, Teddi asked, “Are you alright?” “Y-yeah, Shinkin just forgot about Kokuban’s policy on note passing,” Shinkin explained nervously. “Cards on the table, Shinkin did not think this through.” Noticing his change in tone, Teddi smiled mischievously as she asked, “Shinkin, were you embarrassed when I read the letter?” After a while of silence, Shinkin replied, “Shinkin’s not gonna lie. That sucked in a big way. But you did do what Shinkin asked, and for that, he is grateful.” “So does that mean you’re going to give me the mushroom?” Teddi asked. When she asked this, Teddi saw the vent pop open, revealing Shinkin holding a mushroom in his hand. “Here you go, new friend,” Shinkin said as he handed the mushroom to Teddi. “Just as Shinkin promised, this is the last Toadstool of Trust you need to collect. Now it’s up to Jimmy to collect the other four. Once Jimmy’s found his toadstools, meet Shinkin back at the Torii Gateway. Until then, peace.” With that, Shinkin slunk back into the vent, pulling the grate back into place and leaving Teddi behind in the classroom with her toadstool.