A few hours later, after butchering the Balba and Berry returning ....
"Calamity please let's stop....gah.. I can't take it anymore"
"come on Tokito you can keep it up a little longer or is that all you got"
"No,ah...you don't understand all of this is too much for my body to handle at once....tsk..At this rate I will just collapse from all this activity." I say this as I shiver and tremble from the cold pouring through me.
"............You know, if it wasn't for the fact you were doing weight and ice training, I would suspect you were doing something a parent and child shouldn't be doing together, "Berry says, while keeping the small boulder on my back steady so I don't get crushed.
"Yeah, well blame Calamity for freezing me while exercising! Dang, Calamity can you please stop putting your tentacles on my back and forehead!? At this rate, even with heat and cold resistance I might still get sick." Calamity has me in another cocoon ice hug, freezing my inner core. "Brrrr....Why am I even learning ice magic right now....? I thought learning better earth magic would have helped me fight the tiger back then, so why am I training in ice magic?" I grunt at the weight, trying not to focus on the icy touches cascading down my back.
Calamity stares, giving me the look (I can't believe you asked that), then gives me the run down, ".....You really didn't play any video games, did you? If you can take advantage of mastering ice magic by my chilling bite, then why not use it. And in this environment water and ice magic will give you a larger advantage in element suppression."
Calamity says smugly, then pokes my head to make a point on as if this is supposed to make sense to me.
'Well excuse me for not wasting my time on pointless unproductive video games! I prefer learning how to live in the woods by reading various guides for survival wilderness that was intended for my original world!' Tokito sourly scowls at Calamity who’s smirking up at him.
"Only a few creatures in this jungle are wind based, but the other creatures and monsters are either earth and/or fire based. It’s prudent master magic and skills in suppressing elements, than to fight fire with fire. Sadly, even with my cold chaotic aura piercing your soul, you've barely accomplished the skill ice breath—augh—This is the sad thing when you genes determine what you can learn. In Losaf's desert jungle, it's easier to gain skills in earth and fire magic, but not the other nature elements. Heck, if you weren't a Dgin, even obtaining the none elemental skills and magic; wish, space, and chaos magic ‘ld be fantasy pipe dream. But, this quandary to learn a variety of skills and magic shouldn't be a problem soon." Calamity pats my head then retracts its tentacles.
"Yeah, wait! Why won't there be a problem? How will I study the other elements since I'm staying in this desert jungle?" I ask as Berry removes the boulder from in between my shoulders. Standing up, I stretch walking to the stream to wash off my frozen sweat.
"Simple. We'll be leaving soon and head south to the mosaic planes ." Calamity creepily smiles.
Tokito face scrunches up in astonishment, screams, "Whhhhyyyyyyyy?!"
********
Meanwhile somewhere else a meeting is taking place....
In a well lit Ballroom, a white marble table centered a heated discussion between the dominant races.
"What's going on?! Why is the chaos energy coming back?" An orange winged green man wearing a burgundy toga demands in a squeaky voice.
"We don't know, but it hasn't long since it has started, maybe one the demon kings have broken loose or a spatial rift has opened somewhere." An elderly male white Cat in soldier garments huskily says. Stroking his whiskers smirks trying to foresee how this could happen.
"It doesn't matter what it is, we need to stop it is at once! We finally have peace but for so much time only for it to snatched away again. No, I'll not see my kingdom run amok because my people can't control their mischievous behavior." A purple woman her rapidly blinks her three eyes staring at the room, as the two small horns on her neck grow with her anger. Her brown hair sways as she growls frustrated, then pounds her bone white cane on the floor.
"Huh, may I ask why, it's so bad thing to let the chaos accumulate a little? If you haven't noticed certain species who live on chaos energy are beginning to die out. It might be time to let chaos reign for a while. Plus, I'd certainly like to fight a void legion or a couple of demons... it's been a little too peaceful anyway." A human female in heavy mail armor with red hair says with a manly tone.
"Hmph, that might seem fine for, but not many of us can bring up our numbers like your kind can. We're finally able to see two generations safely born since this peace has started. I believe my people should be able to increase their numbers in peace a while longer, before thinking of such things, "A scholarly tone says in a upset manner. A tall, long pointy eared man, scratches his long blue hair in frustration, his emerald colored dress suit slightly wrinkles with his movements.
"You think your race is having trouble! Mine are dying out! The chaotic energy is becoming too low for us to keep living! We wish elementals are now forced to mate with different races to prevent extinction! That's not even the biggest issue. Don't you realize with the lack of chaos, each races skills are born incredibly weaker with each generation! You have to come to your senses and let chaotic energy back into our lives! Fighting a few strong monsters now and then is better then becoming so weak, we won't be able to handle danger beyond our control." A neutral toned individual says. No one in the room understood this persons emotion as he had no face. The only way they could tell they were angry was from the waves of chaos changing their black as midnight at the top to grey at the bottom hair, as their baggy white shirt dress and turban began to rainbow.
"Shall we put it to a vote whether to let the chaos return or be rid of the new source? For those who want to keep the chaos say aye and to those who would be rid of the new source say nay. " ask a unidentifiable gender voice. The silver horn on their forehead glistens, and their glass Mohawk hair flips as to get off their black tuxedo before its cut to shreds.
They voted by who talked first to last.
"Nay"
"aye"
"nay"
"aye"
" nay"
"aye"
Finding themselves in a tie, the group looks to the last individual for the tiebreaker.
"........"
The silver horned person does not give their vote yet, but contemplation can be seen on their face.
"Come on Versco. Your the only one who hasn't voted yet our one horned friend," the green man says to the silver horned unicornam.
The unicornam, Versco, ponders for a second, then looks towards the group, determination in his voice.
"....aye"
Hey just want to point out some grammar mistakes I've been seeing. A lot of the mistakes in your story I've been seeing were capitalization, spacing, placing of periods. It might be helpful to review these early chapters for such mistakes. You should really double get an editor or someone to review it.
A few hours later, after butchering the Balba and Berry returning ....
A few hours later, after butchering the Balba and Berry returning... (removed the unnecessary space and extra period)
"Calamity please let's stop....gah.. I can't take it anymore"
"Calamity please let's stop... Gah... I can't take it anymore." (removed extra period, added space, capitalized "g," added extra period since having two can make it seem unnecessary for the author's point, and finally added the missing period to finish the sentence)
"come on Tokito you can keep it up a little longer or is that all you got"
"Come on Tokito! You can keep it up a little longer or is that all you got?" (Capitalized the 1st letter in the sentence, added a "!" after Tokito[can be switched with a comma] for proper grammar, added a question mark)
"No,ah...you don't understand all of this is too much for my body to handle at once....tsk..At this rate I will just collapse from all this activity."
"No, ah... You don't understand, all of this is too much for my body to handle at once... Tsk... At this rate, I'll just collapse from all this activity." (added spaces, capitalized "Y" in "you," capitalized "t" in "tsk," added a period, changed "I will just" to "I'll just" to avoid wordy sentences, added a comma after "rate." )
"............You know, if it wasn't for the fact you were doing weight and ice training, I would suspect you were doing something a parent and child shouldn't be doing together, "Berry says, while keeping
"............ You know, if it wasn't for the fact you were doing weight and ice training, I would suspect you were doing something a parent and child shouldn't be doing together," Berry says while keeping (moved the quotation marks, removed the extra comma since its unnecessary for grammar sake.)
"Brrrr....Why am I even learning ice magic right now..
"Brrrr... Why am I even learning ice magic right now... (added necessary space, could change the period after "right now" since the sentence sounds like more of a question, adding extra space, the 2 periods don't make sense)
".....You really didn't play any video games, did you?
"..... You really didn't play any video games, did you? (added space and removed a space from a double space)
Calamity says smugly, then
Calamity says smugly, then (extra space in the front, unnecessary as you started a new line.)
I don't have enough time but the following below are capitalization, spacing, commas, and grammar corrections (in bold)
"Only a few creatures in this jungle are
you've barely accomplished the skill ice breath— augh— This is
I'd be a fantasy pipe dream.
Standing up, I stretch, walking to the stream to wash off my frozen sweat.
"We don't know, but it hasn't long since it has started
"It doesn't matter what it is, we need to stop it at once!
It's been a little too peaceful anyway."
I believe my people should be able to increase their numbers in peace a while longer, before thinking of such things," A scholarly tone says in a upset manner.
(might want to change "tone" who is tone, is tone a person. Seems like it through your usage of it."
"Shall we put it to a vote whether to let the chaos return or be rid of the new source? For those who want to keep the chaos say aye and to those who would be rid of the new source say nay." ask an unidentifiable gender voice.
The silver horn on their forehead glistens, and their glass mohawk hair flips as to get off their black tuxedo before its
cut to shreds.
(the capitalized "m" in mohawk is unnecessary)
"Aye"
"Nay"
"Aye"
"Nay"
"Aye"
"Nay"
"Aye"
"... Aye"
Thanks for that piece of advice. You’re the second person to point this out and I’ve honestly wanted to find an editor for help, but I don’t know anyone who would do it for free as I just wanted to do this for the heck of it and improve my writing . If u could suggest someone or want to be the editor urself I’d be very grateful!
@Hekon I don't know anyone that would be an editor nor do I have the time but If you input your writing in Grammarly (which is free). Most of the grammar issues in your writing will be corrected.