Back in Seattle, Chelsea, Lana, and Roquella were hanging out at a bar, eagerly awaiting the barkeep. “Thanks again for inviting us out for your party Roquella,” Chelsea said excitedly. “It’s been awhile since me and Lana went out for girls’ night.” “Really?” Roquella asked in a surprised tone. “What about with Emily? You guys never had a girl’s night out?” Shrugging her shoulders, Chelsea replied, “Well we were planning one when Emily and Chad broke up, but then Krockman... well, you know.” Looking a bit awkward for moment, Roquella only replied in a sheepish tone, “Oh, um, sorry about that.” 

Sensing an awkward lull, Lana interjected, “So, uh, Roquella, this is your bachelorette party. What exactly do you have planned? Party games, night clubbing... strip clubs?” “Nothing like that, no,” Roquella said in reply just as the barkeep arrived. “Good evening ladies,” the barkeep said in a friendly tone. “What can I get you girls to drink?” Seeing the barkeep, Roquella simply and quietly reached under the counter, and pulled out an enormously tall beer stein. Noticing everyone was staring at the stein, Roquella casually explained, “Yeah, I’d like you to top this off. It’s a full liter.” As the barkeep grabbed the stein and slowly backed away, Roquella turned to Chelsea and Lana and explained, “Girls, tonight we’re going on a bender.” Staring at the lost soul in shock, Chelsea asked, “Are... are you serious?” “Do I look like I’m joking?” Roquella asked, smiling a mad grin at the mortals. 

At that moment, the small group heard someone burst into tears behind them. Turning around, they saw a man sitting at a table, overweight, sweaty, hairy, and crying his eyes out like a disgraced televangelist. Staring at the man, Chelsea turned to the others and asked, “Is he alright? Should we like... comfort him or something?” As Roquella stared at the man, Roquella could not help but feel sorry for him. Getting off of her stool, she simply said, “I’ll handle this.” With that, Roquella walked away from the bar and over to the sad man. 

When she arrived at the table, Roquella looked down at the sad man and gently tapped him on the shoulder, asking, “Excuse me, is everything alright?” Looking up at the woman in confusion, the man replied, “I’m sorry. Who are you?” “My name’s Roquella,” Roquella introduced herself politely. “I was sitting at the bar with some friends when we heard you crying. Are you okay?” “Oh, I wasn’t expecting anyone to come by and ask. I really appreciate that, thank you,” the man said in reply, his mood lightened by the kindness of a stranger. “My name is Gregory, and no, I’m not okay.” “Well, what seems to be the problem Gregory?” Roquella said as she sat herself down at Gregory’s table, ready to help with his problems. 

Looking at Roquella, Gregory cleared his throat and began, “Well it’s like this. I work at the local college in the biology department. I’m an entomologist.” “You don’t say,” Roquella said in reply, only for a sheepish look to cross her face as she asked, “What’s an entomologist?” “I’m a scientist that specializes in the study of insects, arachnids, and other assorted arthropods,” Gregory explained somewhat proudly. Cringing a bit, Roquella said, “So you’re a bug doctor?” “More or less, yes,” Gregory answered. “Anyway, as I was saying, I work in the biology department, but there’s also another entomologist working there.” Looking the entomologist in the eyes, Roquella simply asked, “It’s a woman, isn’t it?” “Yes, how did you know?” Gregory asked in surprise. “Most of the time, it’s usually a woman,” Roquella answered. “Now please, go on.” “Right, anyway, her name’s Samantha, and I’ve been wanting to ask her out for awhile now and I finally asked her out on a date a few minutes ago. The problem is she didn’t just reject me, she actually slapped me in my face and walked off. What did I do wrong?” “I really don’t know,” Roquella said in reply sympathetically. “I’m sorry to hear about that. Is there anything I can do to help?” “I’m not sure if there is?” Gregory said as he shook his head. Looking at the man, Roquella smiled warmly as she said, “Maybe I could talk to her. I can be very persuasive when I need to be.” Looking up at the lost soul, the entomologist looked away for a moment as he said in reply, “She’s not far from here. You’re welcome to try, but I doubt that you could convince...” Gregory had not finished his sentence, however, when he noticed that Roquella had already left. 

Outside the bar, Roquella was looking around for the elusive Samantha. “Alright, now if I was bug doctor woman, where would I be?” she asked herself as she scanned the sidewalk. “Shouldn’t be too hard to find her though. Anyone who goes around studying bugs for a living would be pretty grody looking, right?” As she was looking around, she accidentally bumped into someone, causing Roquella and the other woman to fall to the sidewalk. “Ow, I’m sorry about that,” Roquella apologized. “I was just looking for someone and...” As Roquella was explaining what had happened, she finally noticed who she bumped into. It was a tall, beautiful, blonde woman wearing a sweater and gathering a bunch of papers and a small, plastic box with a vented lid containing what appeared to be caterpillars. It was what was labeled on the box that caught Roquella’s eye: Cerura Vinula: property of Samantha Halcyn. It was at that moment that Roquella realized that this was the Samantha she was looking for. 

As Roquella stared at the female entomologist, Samantha snapped at her, “Watch where you’re going, will you? I’ve been raising these puss moth caterpillars from egg for weeks. I had to pay an arm and a leg to have these things imported from France.” Roquella only stared on at the woman in stunned silence. Noticing the lost soul’s silence, Samantha snapped her fingers in front Roquella’s face, saying, “What’s the matter with you? ¿No habla inglés?” Blinking back to reality, Roquella simply replied, “I’m sorry Samantha, it’s just that... my god, you’re beautiful. How can anyone who works with bugs look this beautiful?” Looking offended, Samantha retorted, “I’m an entomologist, not a ghoul. How do you even know my name anyway?” “Well, let’s just say a mutual friend of ours wants to talk to you, and I came here to bring you to him so you can hash things out,” Roquella explained sheepishly. “Mutual friend?” Samantha asked incredulously. “Who in the world would use you just to talk to...” At that moment, a thought occurred to her, stopping mid sentence and causing her to face palm, saying, “Oh my god... Gregory!” 

Nodding in reply, Roquella said, “Yeah, I know it seems strange, but he seems like a nice guy... for a bug doctor I mean.” “I know that. I agree that he’s a nice guy,” Samantha said in a civil tone. “The problem is, Gregory doesn’t seem to take ‘no’ for an answer. Finally, it got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore; so when he wouldn’t stop asking me out, I slapped him in the face and filed for a transfer to another campus. I felt bad, but Gregory couldn’t get it into his head that I’m just not that into him.” “But you two seem so perfect together,” Roquella pleaded. “You’re both into bugs, he seems like a nice guy, you seem... kind of abrasive. You complete each other. Trust me, I’m a matchmaker. I know these things.” Looking on in disbelief, Samantha retorted, “Are you kidding me? You think just because two people have one thing in common, they’re supposed to be together?” When Samantha said this, an awkward dead silence hung in the air. Finally, after a few minutes, Roquella asked, “So, is that a yes or a no?” Utterly floored by the woman’s denseness, Samantha retorted, “Okay, let me make this perfectly clear: I would rather be hit by a bus than go on a date with Gregory. Do understand that much?” Roquella only nodded nervously in reply. Satisfied with this, Samantha simply cracked a smile and began to cross the street... only to be immediately hit by an oncoming bus. 

As Samantha was laying on the road in pain, she heard Roquella scream, “Oh my god!!!” before running over to her side. “Kneeling down next to the injured entomologist, Roquella asked, “Samantha, are you alright?!” “I got hit by a frigging bus. What do you thiaah! Oh god! It hurts!” Samantha tried to snark, only to be overwhelmed by the intense pain. “Just try not to move too much. It’ll help keep the pain from getting worse. Oh god. Oh hell. This wasn’t how tonight was suppose to go,” Roquella said as she panicked. “This was just suppose to be a bachelorette party with some friends of mine, going on a bender and doing stuff. Now I’m playing matchmaker between two bug doctors and one of them just got hit by a bus.” Looking indignantly (though justifiably so) at the lost soul, Samantha retorted, “Oh, well I’m sorry my dying is interfering with you getting wasted. Such a huge inconvenience to everyone, me slowly bleeding to death.” “What? No! That’s not what I meant. Oh, Jesus Christ,” Roquella said in reply as an idea popped into her head. “Okay, I might be able to save your life. I just need you to trust me on this, okay?” Cringing a bit, Samantha shouted, “Fine! Whatever! Just keep me from dying already!” “Okay, okay,” Roquella said calmly as two large, tentacled wings emerged from her back, one of the tentacles reaching into the bug box and consuming one of the caterpillars (much to Samantha’s horror). “Fair warning though, I’ve never done this before and it might hurt a bit. So just close your eyes, pretend you’re in a... bug land or wherever bug doctors like to go to, and hope for the best.” With that, Roquella’s tentacles jabbed themselves into Samantha’s body and injected a strange, golden venom into her. 

Back in the bar, Chelsea and Lana were still sitting at the counter, all while Gregory was still weeping. Looking awkwardly towards the crying man, Chelsea whispered to Lana, “Should we try to help him? The guy’s been crying for a while now.” Looking at the man, Lana said in reply, “We could at least get him a glass of water. He’s probably dehydrated by now.” At that moment, Roquella came back into the bar, carrying a large cardboard box and a smaller plastic box with a few caterpillars inside. Looking at the bug box, Gregory asked, “Are those Samantha’s puss moth caterpillars?” “Yes they are,” Roquella explained. “I found Samantha outside, she got into an accident, and... well, let’s just say things got complicated.” Looking confused, Gregory asked, “What do you mean ‘complicated’?” Without saying a word, Roquella opened up the bigger box and tilted it just enough for everyone to see its contents. What was inside shocked everyone. 

Inside the box was a large, cat-sized caterpillar, its body a bright green with a brown saddle-like patch on its back. At one end was a long, pink, forked tail, but at the front was the head of a teenage girl. The caterpillar was sleeping soundly, twitching her tails every now and then. Staring at the caterpillar, Gregory gulped a bit before asking, “Is that Samantha?” “Yeah, it’s Samantha,” Roquella answered. “And before you freak out, she was hit by a bus beforehand and this was the only way to save her.” Looking surprised, Gregory shouted, “How does that make any of this better?!” “It doesn’t really, but hey, at least she’ll be in your care,” Roquella said in a positive tone. “After all, its not like she can make it on her own like this. She’s gonna need help, and you’re the only who can help her.” “I don’t know about this,” Gregory said nervously in reply. “Something about this feels... wrong.” “Why’s that? It’d be like looking after a cat... a gross, green, human headed sausage of a cat,” Roquella explained nonchalantly. “And after about a week, she’ll wrap herself up into a cocoon and then she’ll emerge as a beautiful butterfly... woman... thing. Bet you she’d be very appreciative towards you for taking care of her.” Thinking it over, Gregory smiled as he picked up the box, saying, “Well, when you put it that way, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to take her home. After all, she needs as much help as possible. Thanks Roquella.” With that, Gregory left the bar with the box, leaving Roquella to return to her seat with a satisfied look on her face. 

As she sat down, Roquella noticed the shocked looks on Chelsea and Lana’s faces. “Is something wrong?” Roquella asked without a shred of irony. Staring at Roquella, Chelsea asked, “Did you seriously turn that woman into a caterpillar and give her to that sad, little bug doctor?” “Oh god, this again?” Roquella said in an annoyed tone. “Look, I had to change her into a caterpillar to save her life. She was hit by a bus. She would’ve died if I did nothing.” “Okay, we understand that much,” Lana interjected. “But do you really think it’s a good idea to give her to that Gregory guy? What if something bad happens to her?” “She’ll be fine,” Roquella said in reply. “Gregory seems like a nice guy. He won’t hurt her.” Staring at Roquella for a minute, Chelsea said, “You know, I was questioning how you and Krockman even ‘work’ as a couple, but after this... it makes so much sense now.” Smiling at this, Roquella said, “Thank you for saying that.” 

With that out of the way, the girls began their bender, ordering drinks and drinking their fill. When they had their fill, they left the bar and made their way to the next bar for more drinks. They repeated this process several times over the course of the night, their path becoming progressively more wobbly as the alcohol kicked in. It was at the sixth bar that the girls had officially gotten drunk, cackling and laughing at the slightest provocation. As they sat at the bar giggling, Roquella blearily looked towards her drinking buddies and asked, “You girls havin a good tiiiiime?!” This was met with a chorus of cheers from the Chelsea and Lana. “Good ta hear!” Roquella shouted excitedly. “And if I can be serious for moment, I just want ta say that yous guys are the best, fuckin friends a girl could ever ask for. Which is why I can’t keep this a secret any longer. Chelsea, Lana, you guys...” And that was the last thing any of them could remember before blacking out. 

When Chelsea and Lana came to, they found themselves in the middle of a field. Lana was lying on top of the troll girl’s stomach, aroused from her stupor by the rays of the sun. Looking around, the young fairy asked, “Um, where are we? How did we get here?” “I don’t know,” Chelsea explained as she sat up, moving Lana off of her stomach. “But more importantly, where’s Roquella?” As Chelsea asked this, they heard a woman yawning a few feet behind them. Turning around, they saw Roquella groggily approach the pair, holding her glasses in one hand as she massaged her brow with the other. Most notable, however, was the fact that she was missing her pants, leaving her pale, thick thighs and purple striped panties exposed. Placing her glasses back on, Roquella looked down at Chelsea and Lana and asked, “Okay, couple of things. First, what happened last night? Second, where are my pants?” “Beats us,” Chelsea answered as she shrugged her shoulders. “We know just as much as you do.” 

Looking around the field, Roquella noticed something in the distance. It was a little house nestled at the forests edge, a little worn down, but still in good shape. “Well that’s a cute little house,” Roquella said, clasping her hands in excitement. “Do you think someone lives there?” “Probably,” Chelsea said in agreement. “But don’t you think you’re a little underdressed to go to some random stranger’s house? I mean seriously, you’re not wearing pants.” Glancing over at the troll, Roquella replied, “It’s not like we have any choice. Besides, maybe whoever’s living there can loan me a pair.” Having said that, Roquella made her way to the house, with Chelsea and Lana following after her. 

When they arrived, the three girls got a better look at the front yard. All around, they saw various bug themed memorabilia, from little statues of grasshoppers handcrafted from scrap metal, to little habitats for solitary bees. “Huh, guess whoever lives here really likes bugs,” Lana said as she stared at a butterfly-themed wind chime. Roquella cringed at this, saying, “Okay, why does everyone seem to like bugs lately. They’re so gross with their scratchy little legs and their moist, slick shells, and how they can get into almost anywhere.” Glancing at the lost soul, Chelsea asked, “Um, Roquella, did you have a bad experience with bugs or something?” “I’d rather not talk about it,” Roquella said in reply, folding her arms across her chest. “Let’s just say I had two cousins who really liked bugs when I was growing up, and they both suck.” “I’m sorry to hear that,” Chelsea said in a comforting tone. 

Eventually, Roquella and the others finally made it to the front door, ready to see if anyone was home. “Okay, all we have to do is see if anyone’s here, and hope they’re willing to help us out,” Roquella said as she adjusted her hair. “How’s my hair look? I want to make a good first impression.” “It looks nice,” Lana answered. “Although, I think they’ll be less focused on your hair and more on the fact that you’re not wearing pants.” Hearing this, Roquella looked sheepishly down at her panties, blushing a bit as she tried to pull her shirt down to conceal herself with one hand and knocked on the door with the other. After a few minutes of waiting, the door opened, revealing it to be Gregory. “Oh my god, you’re the bug doctor we met at the bar last night,” Roquella said, recalling the events before she blacked out. “Yeah, and you’re that girl that saved Samantha’s life,” Gregory said in reply. “Although, that was a week ago. What the hell have you guys been doing, and where are your pants?” Looking surprised, Roquella asked, “Seriously, a week? Okay, we really had too much to drink. Do you mind if we come in?” Gregory said nothing, but simply waved the little group  into his house. 

Inside the house, Roquella and the others took in their surroundings as Gregory was busy rummaging through his closets. All around them, they could see several terrariums containing various insects, while on the walls hung a few diplomas and several butterfly collections. “You uh... you really like bugs, don’t you?” Roquella asked uneasily as she took in the room. “Oh yes, I’ve always been a huge lover of insects,” Gregory said in reply as he walked out of a closet carrying a beach towel. “Now, I’d offer you a pair of jeans, but mine are probably too baggy for you. This is the only thing I have that you can use. Maybe a stylish sarong or something.” “Thank you, Gregory,” Roquella said as she took the beach towel and wrapped it around her waist. “By the way, is Samantha still around here? I haven’t seen her since we got here.” Hearing this, a concerned look crossed Gregory’s face as he said in reply, “Actually, that’s kind of a huge concern for me. Could you follow me for a second. There’s something you need to see.” Doing as the entomologist said, Roquella and the others followed Gregory towards a boarded up room. 

As Roquella and the others got closer to the room, something seemed odd about the boards. Taking a closer look, Roquella asked, “Is... is that silk?” Gregory simply nodded as he explained, “Yes, the caterpillars of most species of moths and butterflies often build a cocoon of silk for extra protection during the pupae stage.” Looking confused, Chelsea asked, “Pupae stage? You mean...” Nodding in reply, Gregory pulled out a knife and said, “See for your self.” With that, he slashed open the doorway, revealing what was once a bedroom. Inside, they were confronted by an unsettling sight. Sitting on the bed was an enormous, copper colored pod, roughly human sized with a face that vaguely resembled a peacefully sleeping woman. Laying at the foot of the bed was Samantha’s shed skin, crumpled up like an old sock. Taking it all in, Roquella asked, “Is that her? Is that Samantha? Why is her caterpillar skin just lying there? Don’t caterpillars just wrap themselves up in silk when they cocoon themselves?” “That’s actually a common misconception,” Gregory explained. “You see, as I’ve mentioned before, the cocoon is only a layer of protection for the pupae or ‘chrysalis’. The chrysalis itself is actually the end result of the caterpillar’s final molt before entering its adult stage, becoming a sort of egg that the butterfly or moth develops inside of. It’s really quite fascinating.” 

Looking over at the entomologist in a confused manner, Roquella asked, “Rrrright, so what exactly is the problem?” Hearing this, a solemn look crossed Gregory’s face as he explained, “Well, after what happened last week, I took Samantha back to my home. I cared for her, nurtured her, kept her safe until she pupated into what she is now... and I realize now I can’t date her.” “Excuse me?” Roquella asked in shock. “What do you mean you can’t date her? Don’t you love her?” “Of course I do,” Gregory answered, suddenly growing sweaty. “That’s the problem. The more time I spent with her, the more I realized just how far out of my league she is. She deserves to be with someone far better than me. I just want her to be happy.” When she heard this, Roquella grew quiet, left speechless by something so sad yet poignant. 

Suddenly, a manic look crossed Gregory’s face as he clutched his head and fell to his knees. “Oh god!” he shouted in a panic. “I can’t take it anymore!” “Take what anymore?” Roquella asked fearfully. Flopping face down on the ground with an audible, wet slap, Gregory shouted, “This whole mess! I want Samantha to be happy, but I want some love in my life too. Who am I even kidding at this point? No one’s ever going to be interested in me. I mean look at me! I’m a sweaty, slimy, disgusting mess! It’s too much! I need to get away from all this! No one will miss me if I just vanished.” As Gregory said this, Roquella and the others noticed something strange pushing against the back of his shirt. It started off as a little bump, but it slowly grew into a large spiral structure, like a giant snail shell. As all of this was happening, Gregory’s body seemed to grow sweatier, almost growing slimy as his body slowly pulled itself into the shell (much to the horror of the girls). By the end of the transformation, all that remained of the entomologist was an enormous snail shell. 

The three women stared on at the shell, completely at a loss for words. Finally, Chelsea broke the awkward silence, asking, “What... the fuck... was that?” “I-I-I don’t know,” Roquella stammered in shock. “This has never happened before.” “Well you better figure it out, because this isn’t what we signed up for when you invited for this bachelorette party,” Lana interjected. “I was expecting a night of drinking, maybe a trip to a strip club. What I wasn’t expecting was this Uzumaki-type shit.” Looking over at the fairy, Roquella asked, “Uzumaki?” “It’s a horror manga written by Junji Ito,” Lana explained. “It’s about a town cursed by spirals. Some people turn into giant snails. It’s disturbing as hell. It’s a good read, I’ll lend it to some time.” “Oh, well thank you,” Roquella said in reply. “Now then, let’s try to figure this out. Let’s see... after I changed Samantha, I gave her to Gregory. After that, she must of spent most of her time laying down silk.” Taking a moment to swipe a finger along a strand of silk and looking at the golden dust that gathered on her finger, Roquella added, “By the look of things, the silk had trace amounts of magic dust on it, and Gregory’s been breathing that dust in for the past week. Mix that with his self loathing, and... well, that happens.” Looking fearfully at the shell, Chelsea asked, “So the dust that caused this... is it still in the air? Is it going to affect us too?” “Well, maybe,” Roquella answered with a shrug. “But we’ve only been here for a few minutes. It’d take at least a week for this to...” Roquella didn’t even finish her sentence before Chelsea and Lana ran out of the room and out of the house. 

Having been left alone with the transformed Gregory, Roquella stared down at the shell, feeling a twinge of guilt fill her heart. Kneeling down before the shell, she placed her hand on it and said, “Hey Greg, it’s me, Roquella. I’m not sure if you can hear. I’m not even sure if you can understand me anymore, but I just wanted to say I’m sorry about... well, everything really. I didn’t mean for things to go so wrong, and honestly, I feel awful about it.” Taking her hand off the shell and placing it on her knee, Roquella sighed as she continued, “You’ve probably figured it out by now, but I’m not exactly human myself. I used to be though. I use to date this guy back when I was alive. He seemed nice at first, but things changed when we first slept together. Apparently, he recorded the whole thing on his phone while I wasn’t looking. Eventually, the video got leaked and everyone saw. It ruined my life. Everyone I knew either pitied me or thought I was a slut (the fact that more people feel in the latter group). Finally, it got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore, so I took my dad’s old razor, went to my room, and... well, you can imagine.” Having said this, she took a moment to look down at her wrists, taking note of the large, golden scars that ran across them. 

“After I died, I decided to become a matchmaker,” Roquella continued. “I figured that I could help find people the person they were meant to be with. I was trying to do that with you and Samantha, but... well, y’know. What I’m trying to say is that I’m going to make sure you two spend the rest of your lives together. You both deserve happiness.” Getting up, Roquella slowly walked over to a nearby desk, noticing a bug box sitting on it (similar to the one Samantha had). Picking the box up, Roquella read the text on the lid: Bogleech brand bug box. “Bogleech?” she said to herself, confused by the name. “Not the best name in the world, but it seems like a good enough name for a scrap.” With that, Roquella kissed the box, causing it to glow with a golden glow as it began to transform. The box began to stretch upward, causing a large, round hole to open up in the front, causing it to look more like a shell. From the hole splurched forth a slimy shape. It resembled a tubby little snail with two little nubs for arms. What really stuck out, though, were its eyestalks, which were swollen and pulsing with various greens and whites and blacks.

“Eugh, I was really hoping you’d come out better looking than that,” Roquella said, cringing at the sight of her creation. “But, I suppose you can handle the job at hand. Alright then Bogleech, I need you to take care of all of ‘this’. Can you handle that?” The new scrap, Bogleech, nodded yes, his swollen eyestalks flopping as he gurgled. Sighing at this, Roquella made her way to the door as she said, “Thank god. I’ll leave it up to you then. When you’re done, just follow me to Limbo. I’m sure we can find a place form you in Babel.” With that, she left the house and did not look back. She didn’t look back when the front door closed behind her, nor when Bogleech’s shell opened up. She didn’t even turn around when the house was sucked into the scrap’s shell, taking everything and everyone inside with it. 

Hours later, in Gregory’s bedroom, Samantha’s chrysalis began to split open with an audible pop. As the cracks spread further open, two pairs of arms slowly worked their way out, grabbing the edge of the husk to help its occupant pull herself out. As Samantha emerged, she slowly tried to steady her slightly swollen body, bits of red showing in the joints of her new exoskeleton. Soon, the swelling receded as the excess blood in her body was forced into her new wings, causing them to expand to their full length and revealing their beautiful shades of blue and yellow. Standing up straight, Samantha took a look at herself in a nearby mirror, taking a moment to admire her svelte, insectoid form. Brushing an antenna out of her line of sight, Samantha thought to herself, “Huh, I don’t look half bad as a butterfly. I kind of look hot actually.” 

As she admired herself in the mirror, Samantha heard a strange gurgling sound from behind her. Turning around, she saw an enormous snail shell move about as its occupant emerged. The first part to ooze out was a large, fleshy foot, followed by another foot, then by two equally fleshy hands. Eventually, a whole snail man had emerged from the shell, slowly rubbing the back of his head as his eyestalks scanned his surroundings. “Bleurgh, where am I?” the snail man said, having no memory of his previous life. “What is this place?” “Oh, hey there,” Samantha said nervously. “Have you seen a guy named Gregory around here? I want to talk to him.” “Gregory? Who’s that, your boyfriend or something?” the snail man asked, not even recognizing his name. “Well, not exactly,” Samantha explained. “He’s actually the guy who took care of me while I was still a caterpillar. I was actually a human once, and I was never really to kind to him. I want to apologize to him, tell him how much I appreciate him.” “I see,” the snail man said. “Well I don’t know where he might be, but if you want, I could keep you company until he comes back.” “Oh, well thank you. I really appreciate that,” Samantha said, surprised by the snail man’s generosity. With that, Samantha and the snail man waited in that bedroom, where they would remain for all eternity, waiting for a man who was already there. 

Meanwhile, back at Fort Hancock, Roquella was slowly approaching Krockman’s room, still wearing the makeshift sarong. As she entered the room, she could see Krockman sitting in his armchair, reading his tablet while sipping a cup of coffee. Looking up from his tablet, Krockman said, “Well someone had a fun time. I take you had a bit to much to drink.” Blushing a bit, Roquella asked, “Is it really that noticeable?” “Well, you left wearing pants, and you come back a week later wearing what appears to be a sarong,” Krockman answered. “Speaking of which, where are Chelsea and Lana?” “I sent them home,” Roquella explained as she pulled up a chair and sat down. “I think they kind of need a break. They just saw me accidentally turn a guy into a giant snail. That kind of killed the mood.” Looking surprised, Krockman said in reply, “Oh, well if it’s any conciliation, I found out my ex girlfriend broke up with me for the guy who got me fired and I turned her into a mothman... so, yeah.” “I’m sorry to hear that,” Roquella said, placing a hand on his shoulder.” “There’s no need to be sorry,” Krockman said with a wicked grin. “I’ll be taking care of that last, little hitch soon enough.” Confused by this, Roquella looked at Krockman’s tablet, only to be shocked by what she saw. It was a job request signed with a familiar sounding name: Ben Mason. 
———— 

The journey from Fort Abraxas to Byrnhem Theater was a long and arduous journey. Calibur, Kama, and the others had made their way through the ashen forests, through the wasteland, over the junkyard, and finally arrived a few miles away from the theater. It was a run down shack of a theater, with hints of a more luxurious past if one were to look closer. Seeing the large number of ferals bustling around the front, the scraps decided that it was best to take a stealthier approach. After a bit of searching, they found the entrance to an abandoned utilidor have buried in the ground. After a bit of digging and pulling, they managed to get into the tunnel and set up camp. Calibur and the others were sitting around the campfire, while Teddi and Ningyo were keeping a look out at the entrance. 

As they sat around the campfire, Calibur and the others were roasting hotdogs to kill the time. As Jimmy was preparing his dog, he noticed Kama was pulling out a familiar looking carton. “Are those cigarettes?” Jimmy asked as he eyed the sickle scrap. “Yeah, what of it?” Kama said in reply. “You got a problem with that?” “No, no, I was just curious,” Jimmy answered awkwardly as he tapped his knee. “Hey, do you mind if I bum a smoke. I haven’t had a cigarette since I became a scrap.” “Oh yeah, I forgot you have all your memories intact from when you were a human,” Kama said as he shook out a cigarette into his free hand and offered it to the guitar scrap. “Honestly, you should be happy about that. You’re practically halfway to becoming an enlightened scrap. You’re more self aware than these other lesser scraps.” 

Looking up at the sickle scrap, Calibur asked, “What do you mean by that?” “Don’t take it personally, hero boy” Kama said as he stuck the tip of the cigarette into the fire, pulling it back out and taking a quick drag. “It’s just the nature of lesser scraps in general. Don’t sweat it.” “It’s funny you say that, the ‘nature’,” Calibur said in a concerned tone. “You mentioned something about our nature back in Fort Abraxas. What do you mean by that?” Glancing down down at the toy sword scrap, Kama explained, “Every scrap’s mind is a combination of two things: the combined memories of all the soul shards in them, and a single line of thought that drives them. Think of it like... a cornerstone of consciousness.” Taking a drag from his cigarette, Jimmy interjected, “Cornerstone? So we’re the hosts from Westworld now?” “Yes...” Kama replied uneasily. “Maybe... I don’t know. I’ve never seen Westworld. Point is, scraps don’t really deviate from their cornerstone. Doing so, however, is actually a key step towards achieving enlightenment. As it stands, Jimmy and Milbert the only one who has a chance of achieving enlightenment at the moment. The rest of you are still slaves to your cornerstones, with Calibur’s being a hero and Teddi’s being loved.” 

When he heard this, Calibur took a moment to process the new information, tapping his sword on the ground as he thought. After a few minutes, he finally asked, “If that’s true, then what’s your cornerstone?” Growing silent when heard this, Kama tapped his cigarette, knocking the ashes off the end before beginning, “Let me answer that with a question of my own. Are you familiar with the Seven Schoolyard Mysteries?” Looking at Kama with a bored expression, Jimmy interjected, “You have to know that he doesn’t, right?” “Fine, fine,” Kama said with a sigh. “The Seven Schoolyard Mysteries are a collection of mysterious phenomena that occur in schools all over Japan. The Living Anatomical Model, the Statue of Ninomiya, the jinmenken, the weeping statues, Beethoven’s ghost, the Irregular Steps, and of course, Hanako-san of the Toilet. However, a few months ago, there was an eighth mystery: the Ravenous Shoe Locker, and that mystery... was me.” Looking confused, Calibur asked, “I’m sorry, what? How were you a ‘ravenous shoe locker’ (whatever that is)?” “That’s a long story,” Kama continued. “I was once just a normal sickle that was brought to a school as part of a cultural heritage display. However, once the display was taken down, I was left behind, and eventually, I became a scrap and took up residence in a nearby shoe locker. Every now and then, some student would place their shoes in the locker, and by the end of the day, those shoes would be destroyed. After awhile, word spread around about the locker and eventually, it became a legend in its own right. I was quite lonely for a while, until I met Hanako-san. She was so kind to me, giving me candies and playing games with me.” 

“So what does this have to do with your cornerstone?” Calibur asked, growing somewhat skeptical. Breathing deeply, Kama continued, “It happened one day after the school was closed. I was sleeping in my locker when I heard someone opening the door. I was confronted by a large, stout man wearing glasses and a white head band adorned with chrysanthemums and red spider lilies. That was the first time I had met Master Kuma. He said I was a flower that had blossomed in the dark, a prime candidate for his ‘experiment’. That was the last time I ever saw the school and the last time I saw Hanako-san. It wasn’t until I became enlightened that I understood what he meant about me being a ‘flower’. My cornerstone was aggressive destruction, but when Hanako-san spent time with me, those urges lessened and lessened until one day, they just... vanished. But still, I still think about Hanako-san every now and then, wondering what she’s doing these days.” Staring on at the sickle scrap, Calibur and the others couldn’t help but pity him. 

Meanwhile, back at the entrance, Teddi and Ningyo were staring out of the utilidor towards the twilight sky. There was a certain tranquility to it all, the various orange, red, and purple hues blending before them like artwork. As they watched the clouds roll by, Teddi turned to Ningyo and asked, “Hey Ningyo, do you ever have dreams?” Looking at the teddy bear scrap, Ningyo answered, “Well of course I have dreams. I had a dream just the other day.” “Really, what was it about?” Teddi asked curiously. “Well, it was kind of weird,” Ningyo explained. “You and me were in a city, and we were leading this huge parade through the streets. People were joining us as we made our way through the city, and sitting in the middle of parade was enormous cat monster wearing a crown and riding in a palanquin. It must mean something big is coming up soon.” Teddi stared at the rag doll scrap in shock, only mouthing the word, “Wow.” 

“So what about you Teddi?” Ningyo asked. “What have you dreamt about recently?” Hearing this, Teddi sighed a bit, folding her little paws together as she answered, “Well, it was really more of a nightmare than anything. I was being carried off towards an old theater (it kind of looked like this theater actually). As I got closer, I saw this big, scary, shadowy guy just staring down at me, and the last time I saw him, he told me ‘the show must go on’. What do you suppose that means?” Rubbing her chin, Ningyo said in reply, “I’m not sure. The theater in your dream might actually be Byrnhem Theater. As for the big, shadowy guy, Kama and the others gave me a little history lesson that might shed some light.” This caught Teddi’s attention. 

“The year was 1811ty... something, when Cedric Byrnhem, wealthy, eccentric entrepreneur and renowned animal lover, set out to fulfill his greatest dream: to build the biggest, glitziest, most grandiose theater the world had ever seen,” Ningyo continued. “It was quite a spectacle. There were dancing girls, exotic animals, explosions, magic acts, and all other sorts of performances you couldn’t even imagine; and Byrnhem watched them all alongside his pet dog, Skippy, and his pet cat, Orson.” “Oh, that sounds nice,” Teddi said cheerfully. “Whatever happened to him?” “That’s... a pretty tragic story,” Ningyo answered. “You see, Byrnhem had a bizarre aversion towards intermissions, not to mention he mostly ate nothing but popcorn and sausages as he watched the performances. As a result, he paradoxically contracted constipation and diarrhea. Legend says that he eventually tried to go to the bathroom, but he tripped and fell to the ground when he was halfway there, exploding in a shower of viscera and feces. He was mourned deeply by all before his remains were scooped up and unceremoniously dumped into the ocean where they were immediately ravaged by sharks.” 

Looking confused, Teddi asked, “What does that have to do with my dreams?” “I was getting to that,” Ningyo said in reply. “After Byrnhem died, the theater fell into obscurity and eventually got dragged into Limbo (along with Skippy and Orson). After that, those two ended up becoming Skipper and Orschwitz and have been running the theater ever since; and seriously, what a piece of crap it’s turned into. I mean seriously, look at it. The walls are cracking, the paint’s chipping, everyone working there is rude and surly. It’s really just a mess there.” As she was explaining things, Ningyo heard Teddi cough a bit, indicating that she was getting off topic. Getting back on track, Ningyo continued, “Right, anyway, point is, Byrnhem’s probably rolling in his sharks right now about what happened to his theater. Maybe he’s visiting you in your dreams to tell you to take over for him, or at the very least, fix things up. Who knows really?” As they were talking, a light shone down on them, catching the two scraps off guard. Looking up, they saw a large group of ferals, glowering down at them and eager to capture them. 
———— 

Over at False Orchard, everyone was having a nice little dinner. McQueen was sitting at the kitchen table, gorging on his meal. Jojo, Mona, Wrappa, and Plumella were having a nice little conversation. Meanwhile, Emily and Mac were in the kitchen, getting their plates ready. “Thanks again for letting me stay here, Mac,” Emily said as she spooned some steamed rice onto her plate. “I really appreciate it.” “Yeah, yeah, just don’t go touching my stuff, alright?” Mac said as he peeked out into the dining room. “Hey Emily, quick question. Do you really think that Mona chick is really Misfit’s daughter?” Peeking out at the the young woman, Emily answered, “Well, maybe. I mean it’s hard to believe, but honestly, I’m more surprised she’s Bathory’s daughter. Maybe they were more attractive when they were younger. I don’t know.” “Hmm, well, she seems like a nice person,” Mac said with a grimace. “Although, I’m surprised she was dating Alucard (that pompous ass).” “It’s not like I can judge them, considering my track record,” Emily said, rubbing her chin. “Anyway, we better go join them.” Smirking at this, Mac said in reply, “Yeah, might as well. Hopefully, Jabba the Hutt over there will stop eating long enough to speak.” With that, the two finished getting their plates ready and went to the table. 

As as Emily and Mac sat themselves down, Wrappa and Plumella looked at them excitedly. “Hey guys, you gotta see this,” Wrappa said cheerfully. “Mona here is an actual angel. She’s got wings and everything.” “Really?” Emily asked, intrigued by this. “You mean an actual angel? Could... could I see your wings?” Hearing this, Mona blushed a bit, saying, “Oh, well I am an angel and I do have wings. I don’t often whip them out, but I suppose I can, just this once.” When she said this, a white light shined from Mona’s back. Suddenly, two large, pure white wings sprouted from her back, stretching the full length of the table. Amazed by the wings, Emily could only mouth the word “Woah” as she slowly touched them, admiring the unearthly softness of the feathers. Seeing this, Mac turned to Jojo and asked, “Hey Jojo, you’re from Heaven too, right? Doesn’t that make you an angel as well?” “I am, that’s true,” Jojo answered with a nod. “It’s just that I hardly ever use my wings. I much prefer walking. It’s much more enjoyable to take the scenic route.” 

“So Emily, Jojo says you’ve met my parents,” Mona said as she folded up her wings. “What are they like? I’ve always wondered what kind of people my parents were.” Hearing this, an awkward look crossed Emily’s face. “Um, well, your dad works for Krockman and he’s a pretty good magician,” Emily answered, trying to put a positive spin on Misfit and Bathory. “And your mom... your mom... yoooouur mom...” “Oh holy god, this is painful to watch,” Mac interjected. “Your mom’s an abject monster and everyone hates her.” “Mac! Why would you tell her that?!” Emily shouted in shock. Looking up at the drok, Mac answered, “Oh please, I saw what you were trying to do. Did you really think you could put Bathory in a positive light?” Looking shocked, Mona asked, “Is my mom really that bad? Jojo, is that why you didn’t bring her here?” Looking awkward, Jojo simply said, “Some people just need time to process their emotions. She’ll come around eventually.” “Well, what about Al?” Mona asked. “I heard he’s become one of the Seven New Gods. How is he?” “Oh that’s an easy one,” Emily said confidently. “He’s running a music shop, and he really misses you.” Hearing this, Mona smiled a bit and blushed. 

Suddenly, a resounding belch echoed through the dining room. Stunned for a moment, everyone turned to see the source of the burp, only to see Bob McQueen politely wipe his mouth with a napkin. “Oh look, the blob’s taking a break from his feeding,” Mac snarked. “Just out of curiosity, how exactly did you get tangled up with Jojo and Mona here?” “Well, I was just milling about, minding my own business,” McQueen explained. “All of sudden, I see these two falling from the sky and landing in front of me. When they touched the ground, they asked me if I knew any places where they could stay, and the closest place I could think of just so happened to be this one. I gotta say, this is a pretty nice location you have here.” “Thank you, I guess,” Mac said reluctantly. Looking around the room with an analytical look in his eye, McQueen said, “Yeah, a real nice place. Have you, uh... have you ever considered expanding this mansion?” “Expanding it?” Mac asked curiously. “What do you mean expanding it? This was originally built for at least fourteen people and two scraps. Even for a guy like you (who’s basically big enough for three guys), there’s plenty of room for everyone.” “Well, of course it is,” McQueen explained. “I’m just saying, we could easily double the size of this place. Hell, you could just as easily triple it. Send out some fliers, a little bit of word of mouth, spruce the place up a bit, and you could have some pretty decent foot traffic here, turn this place into a halfway decent hotel (maybe on par with Babel itself).” 

Hearing this, Mac was completely shocked, “Wait a minute? Is that why you picked this place, because you were looking for cheap real estate?” Feigning shock, McQueen said in reply, “Why Mac (it’s Mac, right?), I’m a little offended.” Glaring at the fat man, Mac retorted, “You’re not a little anything, Blob.” “Well Mac, I’m not trying to step on any toes here,” McQueen said in reply. “I wouldn’t try to force this business deal. I would’ve said something earlier, but I was eating and there’s something about eating and talking business just ruins the taste of both for me. Anyway, as I was saying, this is a mutual business deal, we both benefit; and seeing as this is your house, you’ll get a pretty hefty share of the profits.” “I don’t care,” Mac snapped. “I’m not having you turn my house into a freaking three ring circus of stupid.” “I have to agree with Mac on this one,” Emily interjected. “You can’t just tell him you’re going to give him money and act like that’s okay. You’re taking his house.” 

At that moment, McQueen stared at Emily for a moment, studying her intently. Finally, he asked, “You’re a mortal, right? What exactly are you doing here anyway?” Looking surprised, Emily answered, “Oh, um, well, I was actually supposed to be dead a few weeks ago, but Krockman was keeping me and my friends alive this whole time. I was actually sent to Limbo by accident, but ever since I learned the truth, I’ve been too afraid to go back to the mortal realm.” “I see, I see,” McQueen said reply, folding his hands together as he nodded. “Well Emily, do I have the opportunity of a lifetime for you.” “What do you mean?” Emily asked. Leaning back in his chair, McQueen continued, “You see the thing is, sweet cheeks, in the afterlife, the main form of currency are shreds of life. Shreds of life are the number of years any one person has been alive, with an added bonus depending on the kind of life you lived. Now for us in Limbo, it’s just money, but for you and your friends, it’s a literal lifesaver. If you agree to my little hotel venture, your share of the profits could easily keep you guys for... oh, I don’t know, the next two hundred years or so. So, what do you say?” 

“What does she say? Are you out of your mind?!” Mac interjected furiously. “There’s no way Emily would ever agree to turning my house into a hotel. Right, Emily?” Turning towards Emily, Mac was stunned to see Emily staring at McQueen, one hand over her mouth with a look on her face as if she was deep in thought. “Weeeeelllll, he does make a strong argument,” Emily said after thinking it over. “I mean, it’s not just good for me. You getting a pretty good deal out of this Mac.” Looking shocked, Mac retorted, “Are you kidding me?! How is this a good deal for me?!” When she heard this, Emily gently placed her hand on the laptop scrap’s face and answered, “Trust me, you’ll be better off this way. It’s far nicer than anything Krockman ever did for you.” “Sounds like we’re all in agreement on this, eh?” McQueen said with a grin. “And Emily, you’re gonna be a huge asset for us in the early stages, oh yes. By the sound of things, you have Krockman’s protection on your side. That’ll come in real handy when we’re rounding up workers to build this thing.” “I’m glad I can be of service, Mr. McQueen,” Emily said in reply as she held out her hand. With that, the two shook on, christening their new partnership, much to Mac’s annoyance.