It was a typical day in New York City. The traffic was busy, the stores were bustling, pigeons and rats were fighting each other for whatever scraps of food they could find. In one particular apartment, a man named Arlo was returning from work. Shutting the door behind him and placing his keys on the counter, he placed a hand to his dark brown forehead and ran it through his flattop hair as his eyes fell on a familiar sight. In the far corner of the apartment, draped in a sheet, was the armchair that his old roommate was sitting in when he shot himself in the chest. It was close to a year ago when it happened, but every time he looked at that chair, he remembered the it like it was yesterday: the day Cooper Krockman killed himself. 

As he stared at the chair, Arlo heard someone knock on his door. Turning around and opening the door, he saw that it was his landlady, Ms. Salazar. “Oh, hey Ms. S, what’s up?” Arlo asked, surprised to see her around this time of the day. “I’m fine, Mr. Duff,” Ms. Salazar said politely. “I just came by to see how things were going. Have you sold the chair yet?” “No, not yet,” Arlo said as he glanced over at Cooper’s chair. “I mean for one thing, that was Cooper’s chair, and for another, it’s really hard to sell something that someone killed themselves in. Hearing this, Ms. Salazar looked over at the chair and said, “Well do something with it. It gives me the willies seeing that thing in here. Plus, I think Mr. Krockman’s ghost might be haunting the world through it.” Casting a concerned look towards his landlady, Arlo asked, “Um, Ms. Salazar, why do you think Cooper’s ghost is haunting the world through this chair?” “Because I saw him with my own eyes,” Ms. Salazar said in a hushed tone. “I saw him on my trip in Seattle. He was doing... strange things to people. Unspeakable things with gouts of golden fog.” “So let me get this straight,” Arlo said skeptically. “You’re telling me that Krockman’s ghost is using that chair to haunt a city thousands of miles from here?” Shushing her tenant, Salazar said, “Don’t speak lightly of the supernatural.” 

As they were talking, the intercom rang. Walking over to the intercom, Arlo pushed the button to answer, asking, “Who is it?” The voice that came over the intercom shocked both Arlo and Ms. Salazar, saying, “Who is it? You don’t recognize me, Arlo? It’s me, Cooper. Cooper Krockman. You know... your old roommate.” Looking confused, Arlo asked, “Is this some kind of sick joke? Krockman’s been dead for close to a year now.” When he said this, Arlo was shocked to hear the voice on the intercom was now in the apartment, saying, “How can you say that? I’m literally right here.” Shocked to hear this, Arlo turned around and was surprised to see that Krockman was indeed standing in the apartment. 

Krockman seemed the same as he did in life, though something seemed... off. He was wearing a long trench coat, though Arlo could have sworn he saw something moving in the shadows of it. His arms seemed longer than normal, with his fingers seemingly bonier and claw-like. His mouth was cracked into a wide grin filled with sharp fangs, and his eyes glowed with a green light. Understandably terrified, Ms. Salazar ran out of the room, screaming, “Dios Mio! Fantasma! Fantasma!” Arlo simply stared on in shock, asking, “Cooper? Is that really you?” “Yeah it’s me,” Krockman said casually in reply. “Seriously, you guys look like you’ve seen a ghost.” “Dude... you are a ghost,” Arlo said in shock. “You killed yourself about a year ago, and now you’re back. How’s that even possible?” When Krockman heard this, a look of shock crossed his face. “You... you remember my death?” he asked, his grin fading away. “Not even my own parents or my brother remembered my death when I visited them. No one that I met back in my old life ever remembered. You’re the first.” Glancing back out the door, Arlo said, “Well, me and Ms. S remembered. Should I be concerned? The way you’re going about it makes feel like I should be concerned.” “Um, maybe, I’m not sure. This is new territory for me,” Krockman said in reply nervously. “For now, let’s just calm down, have some coffee, and we’ll hash things out.” 

An hour later, the two were sitting in the living room, with Krockman sitting in his ‘death chair’ and Arlo sitting on the couch. Both were casually sipping coffee while Krockman explained what he’d been through during the past year. Looking at his former roommate, Arlo said, “So let me get this straight. You and six other dead people are now gods of the universe, you’ve transformed most of Seattle into monsters, and now you’re back in New York to help the guy that got you fired from your old job?” “That’s about the gist of it,” Krockman answered. Rubbing his chin, Arlo said in reply, “Ok, not gonna lie dude, but that’s pretty fucked up.” “Yeah, no shit,” Krockman said as he sat up a bit. “Back when I was alive, I barely had any control over my life. Now I’m running the whole universe.” “Well yeah, that is messed up, but I was talking about how you’re helping Ben Mason,” Arlo explained in a concerned tone. “Seriously, that guy ruined you. Why are you helping him?” Krockman only smiled a wide grin, saying, “Don’t you worry about that, buddy. I have a plan to deal with him soon enough.” Looking worried, Arlo asked, “You’re... you’re not going to kill him, are you?” “Oh god no,” Krockman retorted hastily. “But trust me, it’s going to change everything. And when the dust settles, I think you’re gonna enjoy it. In the meantime, I was wondering if you could do me a favor.” 

Back at the summerhouse, Chad, Chelsea, Lana, and the other members of the Seven New Gods were getting settled into their new digs. Roquella and Adelaide were busily unpacking their bags while Chunko, Alucard, and Lamar were sitting in the living room, having some beers. Z-Wrap and Lolita were busy writing some things down on a piece of paper while studying a map of New York City, making a few scratches on the map every now and then. Chad, Chelsea, and Lana were in the bathroom, unloading their toiletry bags. “Man, I can’t believe Krockman managed to find a place for us to stay at while we’re in New York,” Chelsea said as she pulled out a hairdryer. “I wonder who he screwed over to get it.” Chuckling at this briefly, Chad cringed as he said, “Hopefully it’s someone who had it coming.” 

As they were talking, the two noticed that Lamar was looking into the bathroom, holding a beer in one hand. “Oh, hey Lamar,” Lana said as she rummaged through her bag. “What’s up?” “Oh, I’m just checking up on you guys,” Lamar answered. “How are you feeling, mi dear?” “I’m doing pretty good. Just unpacking my things and... and...” Lana said in reply, only to stop when she noticed something. “Where are they?” “Where are what?” Lamar asked, growing concerned. “My medicine,” Lana answered as her rummaging grew more frantic. “I... I can’t find my medicine!” Looking worried, Lamar asked, “W-what? What do you mean? Are dey important?” “I have a heart condition,” Lana explained. “I usually have them with me, but I don’t see them. I know it’s been a while since I last refilled my prescription, but I didn’t think I was already out.” Looking curiously at her friend, Chelsea asked, “Um, Lana, when was the last time you refilled your prescription?” When she thought it over, Lana came to a shocking realization. “I... I don’t remember,” Lana said nervously as she zipped up her bag. “How can I not remember something like that?” Hearing this, Lamar rubbed his chin a bit, glancing out into the hall before saying, “I’m not sure, but I may have a theory.” 

As the little group we’re talking, they heard a strange sound coming from the shower drain. Looking in the shower, they saw a pair of fingers poke out from the drain, followed by more fingers, revealing a full pair of hands. The hands gripped the sides of the drain and pushed it open as if it were made of clay, and out from the hole popped up Krockman. “Hello everyone! How’re you guys doing?” Krockman asked cheerfully as he crawled out of the drain. “We’re doing fine, Krockman,” Lana said in reply. “Except I can’t find my heart medication.” Hearing this, a concerned look crossed Krockman’s face. “Heart meds?” he asked nervously. “I didn’t know you took heart meds.” “Yeah, I have a heart condition, but lately it hasn’t been bothering lately,” Lana explained. “I guess it’s getting better.” Looking nervous, Krockman hastily said in reply, “Sure, let’s go with that.” 

“So what’s up Krockman?” Chad asked. “You wanted to tell us something?” “Yeah, I just wanted to let you guys know that I spoke with an old friend of mine,” Krockman explained. “He’s agreed to let you guys stay over at his place when I enact my master plan. You’ll be safe there when it happens.” Looking confused, Chad said in reply, “Okay, first of all, who uses the phrase ‘master plan’? What are you, a Bond villain? Second of all, what exactly are you doing where we have to hide somewhere to be safe?” “Just trust me on this one,” Krockman answered. “You’ll thank me for it later.” As Krockman was talking, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Lamar looking at him with a serious look. “Krockman, a word if you please?” Lamar asked in a low tone. “Oh, uh, sure,” Krockman said in reply before turning to the mortals and saying, “Will you excuse us for a second? This won’t take too long.” With that, Krockman and Lamar left the room, leaving Chad and the others to their own devices. 

Back in the living room, Krockman and Lamar walked over to the couches and sat themselves down. “Krockman, what de hell are you doing?” Lamar asked, wasting no time beating around the bush. Looking confused, Krockman asked in reply, “What do you mean?” “I’m talking about Lana,” Lamar answered. “She had a heart condition since birth, she hasn’t refilled her prescription since she met you, and somehow she hasn’t had any problems since den. It seems like more den just a coincidence, don’t you tink?” Looking sheepish, Krockman said in reply, “Uh, well... maybe she had a miraculous recovery.” “Oh cut de crap,” Lamar retorted. “We both know dat you’ve been keeping Lana and de others alive dis whole time. How long do you plan on keeping this up?” As Lamar said this, Chunko walked to the pair and asked, “What are y’all jabberin about? Keep what up?” “We’re talking about how Krockman is still keeping Lana and the others alive when he was supposed to have ushered them into the afterlife,” Lamar explained in an annoyed tone. Resting his arm on the couch, Chunko said, “Oh right, yeah. Hey, why are you keeping them alive, Krockman? Wouldn’t it just be better to just let go? Just let them move on man.” “Do you even hear yourselves?” Krockman retorted. “You guys are dating two of them and you want to let them move on to the other side? At least I’m keeping them alive. They’re Emily’s friends. If I’m keeping her alive, I’m keeping the others alive as well.” Looking skeptically at Krockman, Lamar asked, “Well den, let me ask you dis: why are you so determined to keep Emily alive in de first place?” 

Before Krockman could answer, his phone went off, blaring out Tranz by the Gorillaz for all to hear. Looking awkwardly down at his pocket, Krockman sheepishly said, “Uh, excuse me for a second. I gotta take this.” Getting up from the couch, he walked away a few feet, pulled out his phone, and answered it. “Hello? Who’s this?” Krockman said. “Hello, this is Beth Collins. I’m Mr. Mason’s personal assistant,” a woman answered on the other end of the line. “I’m calling to confirm your arrival at tonight’s press conference. You are still coming, right?” “Yeah, I’m still coming,” Krockman answered. “Although, could you explain to me what this press conference entails again. I just want to get an idea of the schedule.” “Well, as you know, Mr. Mason has hired you to come up with a new idea for a show,” Beth explained. “You’ll be presenting your concept for a new show after Ron.” Hearing this, Krockman asked in a confused tone, “And who is Ron?” “He’s the nephew of the former station manager,” Beth answered. “He wrote some episodes for our new show, the Dark Vault. He’s going to be presenting a new show at the press conference. He’s halfway decent as far as writing goes, but honestly, he’s only here because of nepotism.” “Yeah, that’s something I’ve been meaning to ask,” Krockman said as he made a mental note to look up the Dark Vault later. “What exactly happened to the last station manager? I heard he was removed, but I don’t know what he did to get canned.” When Beth heard this, there was an awkward silence that hung in the air for a bit. Finally, the assistant answered, “We... uh... we found a lot of child porn on his laptop. Apparently, this has been happening for the past twenty years.” Hearing this, a look of shock crossed Krockman’s face, only replying with a nauseous, “Oh.” 

“Anyway, that’s all in the past,” Beth said, trying her best to sound enthusiastic. “Now that Mr. Mason is in charge, we only have one fire to put out.” Looking smug, Krockman said, “Let me guess, you’re talking about the leak about HBO’s ‘business practices’?” “Well, yes,” Beth answered in reply. “I’m surprised you know about it.” “Yeah, well my ex girlfriend, Nicole, was the one who got the scoop,” Krockman explained. “Apparently, she was dating Ben for information. She actually broke up with me on the day I was fired just to date him.” “Oh yes, I believe I recall Mr. Mason was dating someone at the time,” Beth said. “Although... you said Nicole started dating Mr. Mason the day after you were fired?” Shrugging his shoulders, Krockman answered, “Well that’s what she told me.” When he said this, there was another awkward silence. Finally, Beth answered, “Um, I don’t know how to say this, but they were dating at least a month before that. I’m sorry.” When he heard this, Krockman was shocked into silence. After a few minutes, he said, “Okay, well... I’ll see you guys tonight, and I’m gonna... I’m just... yeah.” With that Krockman hung up the phone, and sat back down on the couch. 

Noticing the distraught look on Krockman’s face, Lamar asked, “So what was dat about?” “I’d rather not talk about it,” Krockman said, slouching a bit in his seat. “All you need to know is that I need to do some research and get my thoughts straight. Thank god I already have someone out on the streets greasing the wheels for my big plan.” “I’m sorry, ‘research’?” Lamar asked, raising an eyebrow at this. “What kind of research are you doing?” “Oh, I’m just looking up this guy that’s gonna be at the press conference,” Krockman explained as he pulled out his phone and typed in the Dark Vault. “He’s the nephew of the former station manager and he wrote a few episodes for one of their shows. I just wanted to see what kind of writer I’m dealing with, see if he was a hack or truly genuine.” When he got to the Wikipedia page for the Dark Vault, Krockman scrolled down the episode list, looking for any that had been written by this Ron guy. Finally he found one, only to be disappointed by the name alone: Summertime Gore-gy. Feeling both disgusted and annoyed, Krockman muttered, “Oh fuck.” 
———— 

On the streets of New York, a businessman was driving down to the local HBO station in his taxi. This man, Ben Mason, was in a particularly bad mood that day. Between having to deal with the leak of the company’s less savory business practices and having slept with the woman responsible for the leaks, he felt that his whole career was on the line. All he could hope for was that the press conference that he was having tonight will fix things (or at least distract people from the problem). He was even wearing his best suit just for the occasion. 

As he was going over what he was going to say at the press conference in his head, Ben felt the taxi stop suddenly. Noticing that he had not arrived at his destination, Ben shouted, “Hey! What the hell’s going on man!? Why’d ya stop?!” The driver said nothing, simply pointing at something in the street. Looking out at the street, Ben saw a large crowd, laughing and cheering as if there was a performance going on. At the center of the crowd, he saw a strange young man, no older than 18 or 20, performing for the audience. He was dressed in shorts and a grey vest, and was sporting a straw hat atop his head. His hair was grey with dark grey stripes, and his smile seemed a little too wide for his face. The man was performing for the crowd, juggling balls, blowing on a vuvuzela, and balancing on top of park benches and fire hydrants excitedly. 

Staring at the sight, Ben asked, “What the hell is he doing? Doesn’t he know people have actual jobs they need to get to?” “Well what do you want me to do about it?” the taxi driver asked in an annoyed tone. “Can’t run him over. Can’t plow through the crowd. By the look of things, I’d say you’re pretty much SOL, chief.” Looking annoyed, Ben unbuckled his seatbelt, opened the car door, and said, “Fine then, if you’re not going to do anything, then I will.” The cabbie said nothing, only tapping his finger on the taximeter in reply, hardly caring what his passenger did so long as he paid his fee. Groaning at this, Ben paid his fare and stormed off towards the crowd. 

When he arrived, Ben forced his way through the crowd, making his way towards the performer. “Excuse me!” he shouted furiously as he walked up to the young man. “Do you mind moving off the road? I have places to be.” The performer simply ignored Ben, basking in the praise of the crowd. Getting angrier, Ben shouted, “Helloooo!? Are you even listening to me!?” Finally noticing the businessman, the performer turned to face Ben and belched right in his face. When he finished, the young man sarcastically asked in a nasally voice, “I’m sorry, were you saying something? I wasn’t listening.” 

After wiping the spittle from his face, Ben clenched his fists and shouted, “Who the hell are you!?” The performer only smiled as he pulled out a card and offered it to Ben, saying, “My card.” Taking the card with a hint of disgust, Ben looked at it and read a single word off of it: Poe. “Okay then, Mr. Poe,” Ben said as he crumpled up the card. “Do you know who I am? I’m Ben Mason: station manager of the HBO studio. I have connections, man. I could make one phone call, and have you thrown in jail. What do you think of that?” Poe only snickered, saying, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening. I was distracted by your initials.” Looking confused, Ben asked, “I’m sorry, my initials?” “Yeah!” Poe shouted while holding back laughter. “BM!!!” “Oh real mature,” Ben retorted. “I don’t have time for this farcical bull shit.” “Hold on, did you say fart-cicle?” Poe asked excitedly. “Mmm, Fart-cicle! The delicious, frozen fart for any occasion! Buy one today and put it in your face mouth!” At that moment, Poe bent over, snaked the vuvuzela between his legs, placed it on his butt and let out a long fart, followed by a guttural voice shouting, “It’s cold and it smells!” The crowd only laughed at this, infuriating Ben even further. 

Noticing the businessman’s frustration, Poe shouted, “Hey! Heeeeeey! You alright, bro?!” “No, no I’m not,” Ben retorted. “I am trying to get to work. I have a huge press conference tonight, and you are getting in the way of that.” “Oooh, well excuse me, my lord,” Poe said sarcastically in reply, even kowtowing for added measure. “But I must say, thy flowery tirade doth giveth me a great, throbbing boner.” Having said this, the young performer thrusted his crotch forward and pulled the front of his pants forward, causing a whole bouquet of vuvuzelas to pop out. Cackling at this, Poe shouted, “You see that, everyone?! This guy gets me mad horny!!!” 

As the crowd laughed at this, one voice chimed in, saying, “Alright, that’s enough out of you.” Surprised by this, Poe asked, “Excuuuuse me? I’ve barely got started. Who says I should stop?” Out from the crowd, a policeman stepped forward. “A sergeant in the NYPD, that’s who,” the policeman said as he whipped out his badge. “Sergeant Fred Calhoun, and I’m taking you in for indecent exposure.” Seeing this, Poe silently muttered ‘oh damn’ before saying, “Woah, hey now, Chief. Is it really ‘indecent exposure’ if what’s being exposed is a bunch of vuvuzelas? Besides, this is for the holidays.” Looking unimpressed, Fred asked, “What holiday?” “Oh I’m glad you asked,” Poe said in reply with a wide grin. “Tonight’s the night of the Thousand Scrap Night Parade!!! There’s gonna be singing, dancing, all kinds of stuff. Who can say no to that?” Glaring at the performer, Fred sighed as he said, “Alright, I’ll drop the charges for exposure, but I’m still taking you in for obstructing traffic, clearly being under the influence of something, and also... do you have a permit to be performing in the street today?” Hearing this, a panicked look crossed Poe’s eyes, sealing his guilt. “Yeah, that’s what I figured,” Fred said in an unsurprised tone. “Sir, I’m gonna need you to put your hands behind your head and follow me to my car. We’re going to have a little talk down at the station.” “Well now... um, ok if I could make one small suggestion...” Poe said nervously before bolting off down the street. Only phased by this for a moment, Fred ran after the performer (with surprising speed for a man his age). 

After chasing Poe down a few blocks, Fred lost him in a crowd of people. As Fred looked around, he muttered to himself, “Damn it. Where the hell could he have gone?” At that moment, a familiarly nasally voice shouted, “Yoo-hoo!!!” Turning towards the source of the voice, the police sergeant was shocked by what he saw. Sitting on top of a passing bus was a large, grey cat the size of a child. He was sitting like a person, wearing shorts and a straw hat, and was holding a vuvuzela in one hand while waving at Fred with the other. As the bus drove away, Fred stared on, slacked jaw and speechless. When he regained enough of his senses, he pulled out his phone, punched in a number, waited for the line to pick up, and said, “Hello? Is this Dr. Olan’s office? I need to speak with him.” After a few minutes of waiting, Fred answered, “Alex? It’s Fred. I just saw something I can’t explain, and I need your opinion on it now. I’ll meet you at your office in ten minutes.” 
———— 

In a nearly deserted part of Limbo was a small town (though calling it a town would be a bit of a stretch). There were only a few houses, a diner, and a gas station. In the diner, Terry, Foxy K, and Tanooka Joe were having a meal. Meanwhile, at the gas station, Tom was filling up the gas tank of his car. As Joe and the others were waiting for the meal to come, they were discussing the recent events concerning Krockman’s plan. “So what do you guys think Krockman’s planning to do in New York?” Joe asked as he reclined in his seat. “My guess is that he’s gonna level the place and rebuild it in his image.” Thinking it over, Foxy K said in reply, “Well, that would be interesting, but I think he’s going to spread his ‘Project: Fantasy Seattle’ thing to the whole world. Wouldn’t that be something?” Noticing that Terry had yet to say anything, Joe asked, “Hey Terry, you gonna weigh in on this or what?” Turning to face the others, Terry said in his usual, monotone voice, “Yes, I believe he may be planning to kill this ‘Ben Mason’ individual.” Shocked by this, Joe said, “Damn dude, how is your answer both the most boring and the darkest one yet?” 

Suddenly, the door to the diner opened, revealing an annoyed Tom. As he made his to the table, Tom announced, “Well boys, there truly is a God... and He hates me.” “What are you talking about?” Joe said, confused by this. “Alright, you know how I’m literally the only one of us with a car?” Tom explained as he sat down at the table. “Well, the prices for gas have gone up to $4 a gallon. That’s insane! Why am I being ripped off here? I’m the only person with a car within miles of that gas station. That should be my personal pump.” “Oh Tommy, I’m sorry to hear,” Foxy K said in a sympathetic tone. Nodding to this, Tom said, “Yeah, yeah, but you know, this is a good time to talk about the ‘gas money pool’.” “Oh god, not this again,” Tanooka Joe said as he face palmed. “No Joe, I mean it this time,” Tom said sternly. “I’m the only here who actually owns a car, yet all of you guys are hitching a ride. You guys have to pay up, especially you Joe. I can feel it in the suspension. I know I’m paying extra to haul your fat ass around.” Glancing over at Tom, Joe asked, “Hey Tom, quick question: would any of this matter if you had a girlfriend?” Looking sheepish, Tom answered, “That’s not the point.” 

“Seriously though, When was the last time you had an actual date?” Joe asked seriously. “I don’t think you’ve had a date since Emily, and we all know how that turned out.” Face palming at this, Tom sighed as he answered, “Yeah, I know. I sent her to Limbo because Alucard said he needed someone for a realm swap ritual. She was the closest at the time and I figured she could find out some things for me.” Folding his hands together, Foxy K smiled as he said, “Oh this should be good. What kind of information are you looking for?” “Well, I was trying to figure out what Krockman was hiding from us. It’s pretty obvious he’s hiding something. I keep having these weird dreams, every time I think about gods, my head hurts, I don’t know what’s going on. Hasn’t this happened to any of you guys.” Tom said, with the others nodding hesitantly in agreement. “Exactly so. I was hoping I’d hear something from Emily by now, but nothing’s come up. I’m starting to get worried.” Smiling at this, Foxy K said in reply, “Well I don’t know about you, but a little birdie told me that Emily is hiding out over at False Orchard. Apparently, she’s actually converting it into a hotel.” “You’re kidding,” Tom said in shock. “Well let’s go then. Maybe I can finally get some information from her.” With that, Tom and the others left the diner and got into his car, peeling out onto the road towards False Orchard. 

Sometime later at Fort Abraxas, Calibur and the other unenlightened scraps were in their room. Teddi and Milbert were busy reading a book. Calibur was sitting on his bed, silently staring at his wooden sword. Jimmy, however, was sleeping soundly on his bed, deep in a dream. 

In the dream, Jimmy was slowly descending from the sky and landing in a chair that was sitting next to a little table. Looking at himself, he was surprised to see that he was a human again, his tan skin glistening in the light as he slowly ran his five fingered hand through his mohawk. “Well how about that,” Jimmy said to himself as he adjusted his red letterman jacket. “Just as good looking as I remember.” As he was beaming, he heard a woman say, “You’re not exactly humble, are you?” Surprised by this, Jimmy looked to his right and saw that he was not alone. Sitting on the other side of the table was a woman, petite and mysterious with her face hidden by a veil (though Jimmy did see a pair of insect wings sprouting from her back). 

Staring at the woman for a minute, Jimmy asked, “I’m sorry, who are you?” The woman looked back at the guitarist and said in reply, “Hello there Jimmy. You may not remember me, but I wrote to you sometime ago. I think it may have been the last piece of fan mail you received before you died.” Wracking his brain a bit, Jimmy’s eyes lit up as he said, “Oh right, I remember you. You’re the girl who had a heart condition. You wanted to see me and the other members of the Urban Gods perform in your hometown.” As he said this, Jimmy’s face grew a little grim as he asked, “I, uh... I take it if you’re here, that would mean your condition got... worse?” “No, I’m still alive,” the woman answered glumly. “But that’s the thing, I should’ve passed on weeks ago, but something is keeping me alive. It’s gotten to the point where my soul is already separate from my physical body even though I’m alive. It’s very unsettling, but that’s how I’m able to have this conversation with you.” 

Nodding in agreement, Jimmy asked, “I see. So what brings you here then?” “Well, that’s what has me worried,” the woman explained. “I think whatever’s keeping me alive is starting to lose its grip on me. I don’t think I have much time left among the living. I know I’m going to die soon, so I wanted to ask you something.” “And, what would that be?” Jimmy asked worriedly. Folding her hands together, the woman continued, “You’re going to be performing in a show soon. A show in the mortal world. When I die, I want to perform with you... if that’s alright with you?” Surprised by this, Jimmy thought it over for a bit, moved by the stranger’s story. Finally, he reached out and held the woman’s hand, saying, “Of course. The next show I perform, I’ll save you a spot on stage.” Sitting up a bit straighter, the woman said, “Oh thank you, Jimmy... Jimmy.... Jimmy... Jimmy!!!” At that moment, Jimmy woke up, finding himself face to face with Kama. 

Looking up at the sickle scrap, Jimmy asked, “Can I help you?” “Yeah you can help me,” Kama said indignantly. “You can help me by getting out of bed. Today’s a big day for all of us.” Getting out of bed, Jimmy said, “Alright, I’ll bite. Why is this a big day for all of us?” “Well don’t you know?” Kama asked in an excited tone. “There’s going to be a big parade tonight. It’s going to lead all the way to the mortal realm, and at the end, there’s going to be a big party and a concert and everything. Isn’t that exciting?!” Hearing this, Teddi ears perked as she jumped up and down excitedly, squealing, “Ooh, ooh! Can I be a part of the parade?” “Of course you can,” Kama said in reply. “You and Ningyo can lead the parade together.” “Ooh! What about me?!” Milbert interjected as Teddi squeed for joy. Looking confused, Kama answered, “Um, sure you can be part of the parade.” Hearing this, Jimmy rubbed his chin as he said, “Hmm, you know, this parade doesn’t like a half bad idea. We kind of deserve a little fun. Don’t you think, Calibur?” Calibur only looked up from his sword, his eyes looking somewhat distant as if he was in another world. Taken back by this, Jimmy nervously asked, “Cal? You alright?” Calibur hardly even notice, staring of into the distance with a broken look in his eyes. 

As the five scraps were talking, Kasa poked his head into the room and moaned, “Hey Kama, we’ve got guests.” Curious about this, the little group made their way into the foyer, only to be surprised by what they saw. Standing their was a group of scraps formed from musical instruments... one that Jimmy instantly recognized. “Oh my god, it’s you guys!!!” the guitar scrap shouted excitedly as he grabbed the lead scrap, an accordion scrap, into a bear hug. “What are you guys doing here?” “Haven’t you heard, Jimmy?” the accordion scrap said in reply. “There’s gonna be a huge parade happening, and we’ve been hired to perform at the concert. We got a gig!” As the musical scraps were cheering, Kama looked on in confusion before asking, “I’m sorry, who are these people?” “Allow me to introduce you guys to the greatest band that ever existed,” Jimmy said proudly. “Right here is Al, our manager. Over there is Gene, bass player.” Hearing this, the bass scrap waved and said, “Yo.” “This pink bro here is Elton, our keyboardist,” Jimmy continued, pointing at a pink scrap with a large pompadour, rose colored shades, and a piano-like scarf; before turning towards a stout, red scrap with a drum for a head and large mohawk. “And this is our drummer, Ringo.” Smiling as he looked over at a violin scrap, Jimmy stated, “And this is my girl and our violinist, Lindsey. Together, we’re the Urban Gods!!!” When Jimmy said this, there was an awkward silence in the room, only for Kama to break it by proclaiming, “Never heard of you guys.” The whole band only face palmed. 

“Right then,” Elton interjected, steepling the piano hammers he had for fingers. “Since we’re performing at the concert, we’re going to need a few things from you... Kama, was it?” “Yyyeah,” Kama said in reply. “What kind of things?” “Well, we’re gonna need some places to prep ourselves (plus a few for our guest performers),” Al chimed, listing their demands. “Plus a ride in the parade, some roadies, maybe some groupies...” At this point, Elton interjected, “Oh, definitely some groupies... maybe that handsome umbrella scrap that let us in?” Hearing this, Kama said in reply, “Ok, you’ll be provided with both changing rooms and transport to the concert, if you want roadies, I can offer you a neurotic mask scrap and a half brain dead cicada monster filled to the brim with fungus, and as for groupies... Kasa? You want Kasa? Our Kasa?” “Yeah, is he seeing anyone, cause I’d be interested,” Elton answered with a coy grin. Looking surprised, Kasa pointed at himself, asking, “Are you serious? You want to go out with me?” Elton only nodded in reply, his pompadour bobbing with it. Amazed by this, Kasa smiled for the first time in a long while, turned to Kama and said, “Meet you guys at the concert.” With that, the Urban Gods and Kasa leave the foyer and head out, with Jimmy staying long enough to shout, “Alright, the Urban Gods are peacing out people! We’re bringing the band back!” 

As Jimmy left, the remaining scraps noticed something going on outside. Looking outside, they notice a large crowd of scraps passing by the fort, busily getting ready for the parade. “Huh, they got here sooner than I expected,” Kama said, somewhat impressed. “Hey Teddi, why don’t you go on ahead of us. Ningyo’s probably already in there getting ready.” Jumping with joy, Teddi squeed with delight as she ran into the crowd, disappearing amongst the other scraps. “Don’t you just love it when people like her get so excited?” Kama said to the other scrap pilgrims, only to notice Calibur’s dejected look. “Hey, what’s with you? Why aren’t you excited about the parade?” Finally reacting, Calibur turned to face the sickle scrap and asked, “Why are you celebrating as if we accomplished something important?” 

As the other two scraps were stunned by this, they heard a familiar, soft voice call out, “Yoo-hoo! Mr. Calibur.” Turning towards the source of the voice, the group saw Plumella and Wrappa heading their way. “Well looky here,” Kama said in a condescending tone. “If it isn’t Little Miss Servant Girl and her partner in crime, Limpy Joe. How’s your freedom treating you?” “It’s all good,” Wrappa said, shrugging his shoulders. “Can’t complain really... well, except for Emily back at False Orchard.” Looking confused, Milbert asked, “What do you mean? What’s wrong with Emily?” “She’s changed,” Wrappa explained. “When we arrived at False Orchard, she met this fat guy named McQueen and she started getting real pushy. She started building on the manor and gathering up all these people. It’s a real mess up there. Mac’s real mad too. Finally, me and Plumella just had to leave, come down to see this parade that’s going on.” Nodding at this, Kama said in reply, “Well, at least you both have common sense. You know, you can join the parade if you want. There are plenty of spots open.” “Really? Wow, that’s fantastic, thank you,” Wrappa said in a grateful tone. “Yeah, I’m gonna be part of it too,” Milbert interjected cheerfully. Suddenly, a scrap resembling a young mall cop with wheels for legs zoomed by, knocking Wrappa and Milbert aside and shouting, “Out of my, losers! Segmund’s finally got some authoritah!!!” Incensed by this, Milbert shouted, “Who the heck was that?!” “I don’t know,” Wrappa said, clenching his fists. “Let’s get him!” With that, Milbert and Wrappa chased after the strange scrap, disappearing into the crowd. 

Staring at this, Plumella said, “Well that was unexpected.” Calibur only shrugged at this, hardly seeming to care. Turning towards the sword scrap, Plumella said, “Anyway Calibur, I wanted to thank you again for all your help with Bathory. That was really heroic of you.” Hearing this, Calibur only huffed at this, muttering, “Heroic? Heh, I’m no hero.” Unfazed by this, Plumella continued, “Well, you’re heroic and modest. Tell me, is there anything I can do for you to show my gratitude?” Finally perking up a bit, Calibur thought it over before noticing the feather duster scrap’s bird-like mask. “I have one request,” he finally answered. “Can you show me your face. I’m kind of curious.” Growing worried, Plumella said in reply, “Oh, um, I’m sorry. I can’t do that. If you have any other requests, I’ll happily do them.” “It doesn’t seem that difficult,” Calibur said, somehow unaware of the other scrap’s discomfort as he reached towards her mask. “Here, I’ll help you take it off.” Seeing this, Plumella shrieked in fright, slapping Calibur’s hand, shouting, “Please! Just... don’t. I’m sorry. I just can’t.” With that, the little feather duster scrap fluttered off into the crowd, leaving Calibur alone with Kama. 

Having watched the whole thing, Kama only slow clapped, saying, “Great job, dumbass. Just... beautiful subtlety. Seriously though, ‘no’ means ‘no’. That’s all I have to say on the subject.” Glaring at the sickle scrap over his shoulder, Calibur retorted, “Could you please shut up already? I’m only in this mess because of you.” Looking unsurprised, Kama asked, “How do you figure that?” “Oh, let me count the ways,” Calibur snapped, finally pushed to his limit. “When I first met you, you told me that you knew how to gain clarity. You know what I’ve gotten out of it? I found out my whole quest was nothing but a coping mechanism for the things I’ve done in the past, and every single thing I’ve done has been a complete waste of time. Beforehand, I was much happier bouncing from master to master doing whatever little odd jobs they give me. I was much happier before I met you.” Kama only smirked at this, saying, “Well, how do you expect to improve yourself if you can’t see your flaws. I’ll tell you what, get your crap together and get over yourself. There’s a parade going on. Feel free to join it... or don’t. I really don’t care what you do. Just do something besides feeling sorry for yourself.” With that, Kama left and joined the parade, leaving Calibur all alone. 

As Calibur stood their, he noticed something unusual. Sitting a few feet away from the gathering crowd, parked in the main road, was a car. Sitting in the car were Tom, Terry, Foxy K, and Tanooka Joe, all of whom were sitting in their seats, staring in shock at the scrap. Staring at the group, Calibur asked, “Um, how long were you guys sitting there?” “Long enough to see... all of that,” Tanooka Joe said in reply before turning towards the others and saying, “Hey guys, do you mind if I stay behind? I think I need to handle this.” “Yeah, that’s probably for the best,” Tom said as he unlocked the car door. With that, Joe got out of the car and walked over towards Calibur, while the others drove off into the wasteland. 

As they watched the car drive off, Tanooka Joe turned to Calibur and asked, “So, you want to talk about what just happened?” Sighing at this, Calibur began, “Everything in my life is going down the toilet. Recently, I learned my ‘quest’ was just a coping mechanism for the fact that lead the charge against the ferals in the Ruins of Babel. Every heroic act I’ve done so far has backfired horribly. Saving Plumella? I scared her off with my cluelessness. Saving Emily? Apparently she’s going nuts over in False Orchard. Retrieving the Eye of the Demiurge? Barely even a challenge. They literally gave it back to us without a fuss and claimed they found it in the garbage. It’s like they didn’t even know about it’s ability to cause enlightenment.” “Yyyeah, that’s probably because it doesn’t cause enlightenment,” Joe said with a cringe. Looking shocked, Calibur asked, “What?” “Yeah, Krockman and Kuma made up the whole ‘enlightenment’ thing just to get you guys to guard the eye,” Joe explained. “Enlightenment is something scraps can do on their own.” Having heard this, Calibur stammered, “B-b-but if that’s true, why did the ferals steal it?” Shaking his head, Joe answered, “Jesus kid, they didn’t steal shit. I stole it!” “Seriously?! Why!?” Calibur shouted, completely at his wits end.

“Because there’s something off about that thing,” Joe retorted. “Me, Poe and the other acolytes all thought something was wrong with the Eye. It doesn’t cause enlightenment, but there is some kind of dark power about it. We can’t explain it, but even Krockman and Kuma could sense it, and they decided to do something about. They thought that the best place to hide it was with a group of scraps (they thought no one would ever think to look their). Me and the others, however, thought differently. Something like that had to be hidden away until it could be destroyed. So, we came up with a plan: I’d distract you guys, Poe would take the Eye when no one was looking, he’d give to Tom and the others, and they’d take out into the wasteland where no one else could find it. After that, Poe would blame the ferals at Byrnhem Theater and you guys would take it from there. It was only a freaking coincidence that those idiots actually found the Eye, and a goddamn miracle that they’re too stupid to realize what they had. I’m sorry that you ended up learning the truth about yourself in the process.” 

“So you knew the truth this whole time?” Calibur asked weakly. “Are... are we... evil?” 
Shaking his head at this, Tanooka Joe said in reply, “No kid, you’re not evil. You just see the world in black and white.” Looking confused, Calibur asked, “Black and white? What do you mean?” “The world isn’t black and white kid,” Joe explained solemnly. “There’s a whole lotta grey to it. Yeah, what we did to the ferals back then wasn’t exactly kosher, but do you really think those guys are so innocent. You’ve seen them for yourself, they’re monsters. They kill scraps just to eat the shards of broken souls inside of them. There’s nothing innocent about them.” When he heard this, Calibur looked down at his sword and asked, “Ok, if that’s true, what do you think I should do?” “Kid, I’m not your master anymore,” the tanuki snarked. “Part of being alive is making your own choices. Don’t let anyone make decisions for you, not me, not Chad, and especially not Krockman. If you have something in mind, I’ll be happy to help; but in the end, it’s your choice that matters. So, what do you think you should do now?” Thinking it over, Calibur looked off into the distance and said, “I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’m going back to Byrnhem Theater, and I’m going to finish what I started. I’m going to end Orschwitz’s reign of terror!” Tanooka Joe only smiled at this, cracking his knuckles as he simply said, “Good choice.” 
———— 

Meanwhile, parked in front of False Orchard, Tom, Terry, and Foxy K were taking a moment to stare at their old base of operations. The manor had expanded quite a bit since the last they saw it, easily twenty stories taller than it was before (with construction showing no signs of stopping). “Woah, you weren’t kidding about the expansions,” Tom said to Foxy K. “Alright then, no sense in putting it off. I got to go find Emily.” “Would you like us to join you, Tom?” Terry asked in his usual deadpan manner. Shaking his head, Tom said, “No, she’s only here because of me. This is something I have to do on my own.” “Well you be careful in there, Tommy,” Foxy K said as he reclined in his seat. “Wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you.” “In that case, you guys wait here,” Tom said as he got out of the car. “Hopefully, this won’t take too long.” With that, Tom left the Terry and Foxy K in the car and made his way towards False Orchard. 

Making his way into the manor, Tom was confronted by a bizarre sight. Running around the foyer were countless lost souls and ferals, all of whom were busily decorating the room. “Good lord, Emily,” Tom thought to himself as he took in the scene. “What have you been up to?” As he was looking around, the cait sith heard a familiar voice say to him, “Oh, it’s you.” Looking down, Tom saw that it was Mac, looking more annoyed than usual. “Oh, hey Mac,” Tom said nervously. “It’s been forever since we last talked. How are things?” Mac only scowled at this as he said, “It’s funny you should ask me that, considering you’re responsible for everything that’s happening here.” Looking confused, Tom asked, “I’m sorry, how am I responsible for this?” “You’re the one who sent Emily to Limbo in the first place, correct?” Mac retorted in an annoyed tone. “She came to False Orchard, some fat ass convinced her to open up a hotel, and now, thanks to you, I’ve lost my home and my life is ruined.” “She really did all of that?” Tom asked in shock. “Oh god, I’ve got to get her out of this place. Limbo’s already taking hold of her mind. Please, Mac, I need to know where she is. As soon I get her out of here, things will go back to normal.” Thinking it over, Mac only sighed, saying, “Fine. Just follow me to the elevator and I’ll take you to her floor.” With that, the two walked off towards the elevator, with Tom asking, “When did you get an elevator?” 

When they arrived, Mac pushed the button to summon the elevator. As the two waited patiently, Tom and Mac noticed a stranger had joined them. He was a large walrus standing on his tail and dressed in a fine suit. Looking awkwardly at the walrus, Tom asked, “Uh, can we help you?” “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you,” the walrus said, noticing the others. “I was merely having a look around; getting the lay of the land and all that.” “Rrrright,” Tom said in reply. “Well, we’re just going to see Emily and try to take her back to the mortal realm. I just hope we can pull this off.” “I see,” the walrus said, tapping his tusk. “If you’re that worried, I can read your palms and see what the future holds.” Looking concerned, Mac said, “Yeah, I don’t know about that. I mean we hardly know you, and honestly, you’re kind of creepy.” “Nonsense, I’m happy to oblige,” the walrus said cheerfully. “Now, just hold out your hands so I may see your palms.” Doing what the walrus said, Tom and Mac reluctantly held out their hands so that he could see their palms. Taking a moment to observe the two stranger’s palms, the Walrus nodded as he said, “Well now, Tom was it, you’re in for a rough ride, but you’re going to learn truth soon. As for you, Mac I believe, you’re going down a dark path. Nothing I can say will change that, but I can offer one bit of advice.” At that moment, the walrus leaned in close to Mac and whispered, “Fear the bear.” At that moment, the elevator opened up, much to the relief of Tom and Mac. “Oh look at that, our elevator’s here. Well this has been... an experience, but we really have to get going. Have a good one!” With that, the cait sith and the scrap got into the elevator and immediately closed the doors. As the elevator went up, Mac nervously asked, “Tom, did we mention our names at any point when we were talking to the walrus guy?” “No,” Tom said with a shudder. “That’s what scares me.” 

When the elevator finally stopped, the doors opened up to a long hallway lined with several windows. “Alright, Emily’s room is at the end of the hallway,” Mac said pointing down the hallway. “Just head down there and get her out of my life.” “Well thank god. I thought this was going be a little more...” Tom said in reply, only to be cut off when his body experienced a strange, tingling sensation. Noticing this, Mac asked, “Hey, you alright?” Regaining his senses, Tom only shook his head, saying, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just felt a little off for a second. Anyway, let’s get this over with.” With that, the two made their way down the hall, towards an ornate door. 

When they had arrived, Tom and Mac stared at the door for moment in anticipation. “Alright, here goes nothing,” Tom said before reaching up to the door and knocked. After a few minutes, the door opened up, revealing not Emily, but a middle aged, microcephalic man in an old blue bathrobe and house slippers. “Hello there, can I help you?” the man asked politely. “Um, yeah, my name’s Tom, and I’m looking for Emily,” Tom answered. “Is she here or what?” “Oh yes, yes, she’s in here,” the man said as he stepped to the side. “Please, come in, Mr. Tom.” With that, Tom and Mac made their way into the room. As they entered, Tom saw that it was an ornate office, with a changing screen in one corner and an elaborate desk. Sitting opposite from the screen was an unbelievably beautiful blonde woman and an obscenely fat man. Looking around, Tom asked, “Hey Mac, who are these people, and where’s Emily?” “Yeah, this is Jojo, Mona, and Blob McQueen,” Mac said in a bored tone. “As for Emily...” 

Before Mac could finish, Emily stepped out from behind the screen, donning what appeared to be a matador’s costume (except without the cap). “Tada!” the young drok shouted as she posed. “Well, what do you think?” Staring at this, Tom only said in reply, “Uh, yeah, I’m just... so confused.” Finally noticing that Tom was in the room, Emily said, “Oh hey Tom, how’s it going? What do you think of my suit?” “Um, I’m doing pretty good,” Tom answered, still confused by the suit. “And also, why are you dressed like a bull fighter?” “This is a traje de luces,” Emily answered proudly. “I’m opening a hotel soon, and I have to dress for success.” Looking awkward, Tom said in reply, “So, your vision of success is a guy in a tasseled coat harassing a bull and skewering it with a sword once it passes out from exhaustion?” Glaring at Tom, Emily retorted, “That’s beside the point.” 

“Yeah, I’d love to stay here and listen to you go on about your weird fashion choices, but it’s time for you to go,” Mac interjected, getting right to the point. “Tom’s here to take you back home.” Surprised by this, Emily asked in a harsh tone, “Excuse me?” “You heard what I said, vamoose!” Mac shouted. “And speaking of moose, take McQueen with you. He sucks.” Glaring at the laptop scrap, Emily placed a hand on her hip and retorted, ”And why exactly do I have to go? I’m starting a business here. Besides, you’re...” “I swear to god, lady, if you say I’m ‘better off this way’ again, I’m gonna lose it!” Mac shouted furiously. “I offered you my home in your time of need, and you completely took over my house. Besides, Tom’s the one who suggested this in the first place.” Surprised by this, Emily turned towards Tom and asked, “Is.. is this true? You really want to take me back to the mortal realm?” Lowering his head a bit, Tom answered, “Yes Emily, that’s the idea. This is for your own good. Limbo’s messing with your mind. I mean, taking over someone’s house to start a business? That’s not like you. So let’s get you home, alright? You’re friends are worried about you.” 

As Emily was processing this, McQueen hastily got up from his chair, shouting, “Woah, woah, woah! Hold on a second! Let’s think this over. Emily, you’re not actually going to believe this guy, are you? Isn’t he the one that brought you here in the first place? Oh sure, you may have changed a bit since you’ve been here, but that’s called confidence. Besides, everyone loves the new you.” At that moment, Mona muttered, “I don’t like the ‘new Emily’.” Hearing this, McQueen asked, “I beg your pardon?” “Well, she’s not herself anymore,” Mona explained. “Ever since she came here, she’s been dismissive, careless, and... well, just rude in general.” “I have to agree. She needs to go home,” Jojo interjected. “She needs to get away from Limbo to clear her mind. Besides, you only want her here so you can make money.” Looking offended, McQueen retorted, “That is an outrageous lie.” “Oh give it up, hogzilla. It’s no secret you’re just in this for the money,” Mac retorted. “No one asked for your opinion, runt,” the fat lost soul snapped. Clenching his fists, Mac shouted, “We’ll I feel like my opinion should be considered more often since this is my house!!!” As the group was arguing, Emily, finally fed up, shouted, “Will you all shut up! Have you all forgotten why I’m doing this? I’m trying to extend my life and the lives of my friends, because apparently we were supposed to be dead weeks ago. I don’t want to die and apparently, this business is going to keep that from happening. Can you all be a little more sympathetic here.” 

When Emily said this, Tom felt another tingling sensation overtake his body. Noticing this, Emily asked, “Tom? Are you alright?” “Yeah, I’m alright,” Tom said in reply, holding a hand to his head. “Anyway, I honestly have to agree with you on this. You can stay here if you need to.” Looking on in shock, Mac shouted, “Are you freaking kidding me?! You’re actually okay with this!?” Looking down at the scrap, Tom said, “Look Mac, I understand your frustration, but we have to focus on the problems at hand, not Emily’s bikini. This requires discipline.” “Well I’m glad you understand my predicament. I really...” Emily said cheerfully, only to realize what Tom had said. “I’m sorry, my bikini? Discipline?” “Of course discipline! That’s the key to ultimate satisfaction,” Tom shouted suddenly, catching everyone off guard. “Why even the kafkan courtesans had it as they danced in time with the Rodentia Orchestra while the broken souls fluttered through the air like technicolor confetti and I love it! I don’t support the likes of parvenu cupcakes and bourgeoisie petit fours and that is common knowledge from Anchorage to the Caribbean.” Looking on in confused shock, Emily asked, “Um, Tom, are you sure you’re okay?” “I couldn’t be better!” Tom shouted, a crazed look in his eye. “The clouds are parting, we are receiving a message from the heavens and it’s saying that it’s time to return to the Great Beyond; where the scraps dance merrily from the mouth of the torii gate as the teddy bear and the rag doll lead the way! Anyone obsessed with the status quo should get out of the path! No one’s getting in the way of my glory train. If only they had taken the time to analyze the back alley tomes, then they’d have realized that this was all inevitable. This shindig was foretold by a coven of sardonic soothsayers and set in motion by the Council of wandering vagrants and pelagic mendicants! They discussed it at length over a great feast, and what a feast it was! The deviled eggs garnished in paprika and gold leaf and the walrus’s bacon fried in its own blubber! You can see now, can’t you!? I have finally achieved apotheosis, for I am the ultimate emcee of the Thousand Scrap Night Parade!!!” With that, Tom bolted out of the room, cackling like a madman all the while. 

“Oh god! What’s wrong with him!? Has he lost his mind!?” Emily shouted, terrified by what she just saw. “I don’t know,” Mac said as he made his way towards the door. “But whatever’s going on, we need to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself or anyone else.” With that, Mac and Emily ran out of the room and chased after the mad cait sith. As the two were running, Tom’s insane laughter echoed down the hallway. “Shine. Shine! Shine!” Tom said in a fanatical tone. “Take me, oh great Will of the Universe! Take me back to the wild blue yonder!!!” After that, Emily and Mac were horrified to hear the sound of glass shattering, only to stop dead in their tracks at the sight of a broken window. Looking out of the window, however, revealed what was quite possibly the most surreal sight yet. Marching past False Orchard was an enormous parade. It was mainly made up of scraps (in fact, Emily could see Teddi and Ningyo leading the whole thing), but there were other beings mixed in as well. There were several, beautiful, insectile women with shiny, copper brown carapaces, countless, mouse and rat people playing instruments as the scraps danced in time. High above the parade, shards of broken souls twisted and sparked in the sky. In the parade, sitting on a car that had been transformed into a sort of moving platform, were three monsters. One was a large pit bull-like werewolf in torn dress pants. Another was a large, nine tailed fox wearing a ceramic mask of a handsome young man. The final one, sitting in an ornate throne, was a large cat monster wearing a cape and a crown, a long antenna like an anglerfish’s lure sprouting from its forehead... Tom’s true form. Looking off into the distance, Emily saw that the parade was heading towards a large torii gate. The Thousand Scrap Night Parade was coming.