Mia let me inside within thirty seconds, standing awkwardly inside the door for a moment before stepping aside to let me inside her house.

I made the trip over here, risking this area even though I knew it was a stupid thing when the camp knew I'd been here before and would likely be searching this area.

But I also wasn't willing to let Mia hate me.

“Hi,” she said uncertainly.

“Hi,” I answered, probably even more uncertainly.

She waved me over to the couch and sat herself down on one half.

“I'm sorry,” she admitted as she did so. “I probably should've had more patience.”

I shook my head. “I wasn’t being sensitive to your feelings.”

“But it’s also not really like me to shut people down so quickly,” she explained. “You’ve just been so distant the past week. Like really, really distant and its been making it hard for me to relax so… I’ve been a bit on edge. And that isn’t your fault.”

“I also could have taken the time to explain things to you,” I said.

She nodded.

“I know having an encounter with someone from your old life wouldn't feel good,” she said.

I shook my head in agreement. “I've come to realize that people out here couldn't even fathom the things I've done in the name of surviving.”

Mia went quiet again. This was another one of those times that people didn't know what to say to me.

“I wasn't taken as a sex slave,” I continued. If I wanted to have a relationship with Mia then I'd have to get this out of the way now, otherwise it would continue getting in the way. “They used us for other purposes.”

Her confused expression was similar to Henry's when I had explained this to him. “What did you do?” Was her wary question.

I swallowed before continuing. “They put us through brutal training,” I said.

She nodded. “You don't have to go into detail.”

I appreciated that. “The point is, I'm not used to relying on people and I'm far from used to relying on people for emotional support. So when I said you couldn't help me, it had nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. Do you understand?”

She nodded. “But you know I can always talk to you about things,” she said. “Even if I don't understand.”

“I know.”

We sat there in another break while she picked at one of the couch seams, thinking, or perhaps avoiding thinking.

“I'm not sure,” I started. “I deserve to have you as a friend.’

Her gaze snapped up.

“I don’t know about that, but I’m certainly glad you’re my friend,” she said. “Isn’t that what matters? If both people enjoy the friendship?”

I thought for a moment, but couldn’t entirely believe that my sins wouldn’t have an impact on our fate at some point in the near or far future. If nothing else, I’d go to hell, and she would be destined for heaven unless I dragged her down with me.

“I understand you must have done quite a bit of illegal stuff,” she said. “And I won’t ask details, but you’re you. You’re not whoever they tried to make you and now you’re free to build yourself however you choose. I care far more about the person you’re going to become than the person they forced you to be.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I really appreciate you.”

I was reminded again of my pining for her. But I dismissed the idea. We were making steps, yes, but trying to make any kind of move right now would be a mistake. Maybe someday I could enter a relationship but today was going to be dedicated to repairing our friendship and taking a nap as soon as I got home because my vision was starting to blur at the edges from lack of sleep.

I bid Mia farewell after we sat together a while longer and headed home. It was chilly outside, more so than usual but my jacket was making me sweat so I pulled it off and tolerated the cold.

My stab injury ached with every step, being in a place that was instrumental in almost every movement I made, but the stitches had held together the last time I checked so it was going to heal quicker now.

When I got home I took some more pain medication and laid down, hearing Henry in his room next to mine, typing away. He had told me he would keep his headphones off in the house so he'd hear any trouble coming so I could rest a little easier, though it wasn't as good as having someone on watch.

Still, I was so tired. It was not negotiable that I would sleep in the next hour or two and I had to decide if I was going to do it on the bed or in some random other location.

I collapsed, taking a deep breath. It even felt like I couldn't get enough air. But I had taken care of the important stuff and I should be safe here, even if the anxiety didn't want to admit it.

It couldn't be more than a few minutes before I was out cold.

Not long after, a hand grabbed me.